Comebacks To Common Complaints

Lounge By Doug Updated 26 Aug 2009 , 5:54am by lthiele

Doug Posted 21 Jun 2009 , 11:58pm
post #1 of 68

Just been dying to say the following.....


Comment: "OH NO -- my cake has a bulge!"

my repost:

Well, put it on a diet!

Well, put a girdle on it!

Well, see what happens when you feed it too much!

Well, make it run around the turntable for an hour!

-------

sorry, just had to. (i know, keep the day job icon_rolleyes.gif)


AND what is your common complaint and the snappy, silly comebacks you have for it?!?!? (from any source, here, customer, DFM (d.... family member), etc.)

67 replies
playingwithsugar Posted 22 Jun 2009 , 3:32am
post #2 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

Just been dying to say the following.....


Comment: "OH NO -- my cake has a bulge!"

my repost:

Well, put it on a diet!
Well, put a girdle on it!
Well, see what happens when you feed it too much!
Well, make it run around the turntable for an hour!

-------

sorry, just had to. (i know, keep the day job icon_rolleyes.gif)


AND what is your common complaint and the snappy, silly comebacks you have for it?!?!? (from any source, here, customer, DFM (d.... family member), etc.)




Add these to yours -

So does my (name your own body part), but you don't hear me complaining! icon_lol.gif

"It's pregnant?" icon_lol.gif

Theresa icon_smile.gif

Rose_N_Crantz Posted 23 Jun 2009 , 2:29am
post #3 of 68

Does it have to be cake related?

A few years ago when I was still dating my husband and we both lived at home, his brother came home one day with a still. He had decided to brew his own beer at home. So for a few weeks, their house reeked of hops. Seriously, I could barely stand to be there. One day as I was picking him up to go do something, my hubby walks into the kitchen, makes and face and loudly says "When is that smell gonna go away?"

His mother, not even blinking replies "When you take a shower."

lmao. not even joking.

mkolmar Posted 26 Jun 2009 , 3:51am
post #4 of 68

I had a teacher that was a bit of an odd fellow in high school. He use to love it when people would walk up to him and ask "Do you know what time it is?" He would look at you and say "Yes, yes I do." and turn and walk away. They always looked stunned.
He would answer your questions but only your exact questions, nothing more.

TexasSugar Posted 26 Jun 2009 , 4:11am
post #5 of 68

When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it. icon_wink.gif

umgrzfn Posted 26 Jun 2009 , 4:13am
post #6 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasSugar

When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it. icon_wink.gif



Or "with your hands" how else?

indydebi Posted 26 Jun 2009 , 12:07pm
post #7 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasSugar

When I see posts on message boards that are titled "How do I?" I always think to myself 'carefully'. One day I may actually say it. icon_wink.gif



icon_lol.gif When I see these, I always want to respond with ".....finish a sentence in the subject line?"

miss_sweetstory Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 11:34am
post #8 of 68

Whenever anyone says in that resigned way, "Kids...", my husband responds, "They taste just like chicken!"

He gets some odd looks, but I always find it hilariously funny. Guess we belong together. icon_razz.gif

Doug Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 11:58am
post #9 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose_N_Crantz

Does it have to be cake related?


No. Any complaint is fair game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_sweetstory

Whenever anyone says in that resigned way, "Kids...", my husband responds, "They taste just like chicken!"

He gets some odd looks, but I always find it hilariously funny. Guess we belong together. icon_razz.gif


and here I thought they tasted like "wasckily wabbit."

AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 12:03pm
post #10 of 68

People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.

I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."

HAH!

jammjenks Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 12:54pm
post #11 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.

I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."

HAH!




Tell them you're advertising for your dessert business. If you were skinny, they wouldn't trust you. icon_wink.gif

AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 6:58pm
post #12 of 68

ohhh that's a good comeback too icon_smile.gif Thanks!

miss_sweetstory Posted 27 Jun 2009 , 7:36pm
post #13 of 68

When someone sees a cake I've made and says/asks, "YOU made that?!" (always with the emphasis on the "you", like I couldn't possibly have done it.) icon_mad.gif I reply, "Nah, the house elves did it."

shelbur10 Posted 28 Jun 2009 , 7:05pm
post #14 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat.




Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"

indydebi Posted 28 Jun 2009 , 7:08pm
post #15 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbur10

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat.



Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"




I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!" icon_biggrin.gif

mrspriss0912 Posted 28 Jun 2009 , 9:04pm
post #16 of 68

Ok so I have a doc that I work for who is about 6ft 4 in and he has developed this joy in making short jokes at my expense being only 5ft 2in. So one afternoon after surgery I was at the counter sitting and goingover my papers for the day he made some short crack and gave me that silly little smile to which i came back ...... Im not short ..... I.m fun size!
It worked and he has thought twice anout the jokes

Karabear1125 Posted 29 Jun 2009 , 4:45am
post #17 of 68
Quote:
Quote:

I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!




I like to say "You can change being fat, but you can't change UGLY" lol

AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 29 Jun 2009 , 7:24am
post #18 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbur10

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat.



Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"




Unfortunately they do. icon_sad.gif And my DH gets so mad. I mean I have gained weight, maybe 10 pounds I am not sure. But yeah people I know always tell me that, like when I see someone it's the first thing out of their lips. icon_sad.gif I'm not the most secure person in the world and it makes me depressed, etc. Most recently I have boycotted family gatherings because being called fat at least 5 times in one night is really not my idea of fun.

Thanks for the comebacks, I hope I have the b*lls to use them icon_smile.gif

Doug Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 12:07am
post #19 of 68

ok...back with a cake related one that picks up on two recent complaint trends:

"Why does my icing always crack"


Because it's having a nervous breakdown worrying about if you like how it and the cake looks!

sugarspice Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 2:08am
post #20 of 68

I just delivered a cake for a "friend" *HA* I used to work with. I told her the price on the phone when the cake was ordered. I delivered the cake and she says "I just grabbed some money..I only have $x.00" I WISH I would have said, ok-let me get a knife & you can have 3/4 of the cake!!

indydebi Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 2:20am
post #21 of 68

Catering: A bride actually asked me once "Is the food cooked ahead of time?"

I SO wanted to say, "No, I throw an hibatchi on the buffet table and cook 600 meatballs 2 at a time!"

JaimeAnn Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 2:29am
post #22 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbur10

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat.



Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"



Unfortunately they do. icon_sad.gif And my DH gets so mad. I mean I have gained weight, maybe 10 pounds I am not sure. But yeah people I know always tell me that, like when I see someone it's the first thing out of their lips. icon_sad.gif I'm not the most secure person in the world and it makes me depressed, etc. Most recently I have boycotted family gatherings because being called fat at least 5 times in one night is really not my idea of fun.

Thanks for the comebacks, I hope I have the b*lls to use them icon_smile.gif




I know this is off topic but that makes me mad . I have gained a lot of weight in the last few years and No one has ever told me I am fat even though I am. I would probably take someones head off if they said that to me so if it happens again tell them.

" I may be fat but i can diet if I want to, I feel sorry for you cause there is no diet for UGLY!" That will shut them up.


and my favorite cake complaint..

Can you make a buttercream that isn't so sweet. Sure I will just leave out the sugar! and you can just have BUTTER CREAM... icon_evil.gificon_confused.gif

JaimeAnn Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 2:37am
post #23 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelbur10

Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat.



Oh please tell me that people don't actually say this! UNBELIEVABLE!!

Comeback - "I'd rather be fat than RUDE!"



I actually DO say, "I may be fat ..... but I'm GORGEOUS!!!!" icon_biggrin.gif




Me TOO! and we are talented & Funny and smart... Yay us ! I guess you can't have it all but we have most of it! icon_lol.gif

kellertur Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 3:37am
post #24 of 68

In 1996 one of my headlights would chronically go out. I'd usually forget to change it and I'd be pulled over. FINALLY, after the 4 - 5th time being reminded of this... I squeaked by without a ticket, but here's what happened:

Officer~ "Maaam, do you realize your left headlight is out?"

ME ~ "You mean the other one's back on????" icon_eek.gif


That was the last time I forgot to change it.

7yyrt Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 7:03pm
post #25 of 68

People used to tell me I was fat, I would say 'Why yes, I am.' and stand there looking inquiringly at them.
Then they usually would do a little - 'Sputter, sputter' and slink off.

Doug Posted 6 Jul 2009 , 7:15pm
post #26 of 68

hmmm...possible comeback to "You're Fat!" comment....

You're jealous, aren't you?

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 7 Jul 2009 , 4:42am
post #27 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.

I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."

HAH!




What. The. HELL??? Your next response, "I may BE fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 7 Jul 2009 , 4:43am
post #28 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_cupcakeshoppe

People always tell me I'm fat. My DH finds it very rude and hates it because i get insecure and start getting depressed.

I decided that next time someone tells me I'm fat I'll just say, "Well, that's what I get for eating lots of good food everyday. I mean tenderloin steaks can make you gain weight."

HAH!




What. The. HELL??? Your next response, "I may BE fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 7 Jul 2009 , 5:18am
post #29 of 68

I may go to he11 for this, but:

Child: But that's not faaaaaaiiiirrrr.....(sister) got (whatever it is they want and I won't give them)
Me: Huh. I must like her better.

(And yes, they KNOW I don't mean it...our favorite household joke is how I tell each kid, "You know you're my favorite, right?")

My other favorite:

Irritating person: can I xxx
Me: I dunno, CAN you?

And the one that irritates me the most...

At Starbucks drive-thru:

Employee: HI! Welcome to Starbucks! My name is Cindy (or Heather, or some cheerleader name), what's YOUR name?
What I WANT to say: My name is SHUT UP AND GET ME A LATTEE!!!

What I DO say: <sigh> Lisa. I'd like a grande sugar-free vanilla lattee.

To which they ALWAYS reply: Okay, one grande skinny vanilla latte...

To which I am FORCED to respond: No, not skinny. I can only give up ONE thing, and today I am KEEPING the caffeine AND the fat and FORGOING the sugar. <sigh>

And then half the time they get it wrong. It's a good thing they are so sweet... I do hate the practice of introducing themselves and asking my name. We're at a drive thru, for cryin' out loud, not a debutant ball!!!

7yyrt Posted 7 Jul 2009 , 5:47am
post #30 of 68

I used to tell them my name was 7. Or Fred

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