Too Tacky?

Lounge By Karema Updated 22 Jun 2009 , 4:12am by Annabakescakes

Karema Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 9:03pm
post #1 of 17

So I'm about 34 weeks pregnant and no one has offered to throw me a baby shower. I had two for my daughter, one in New York City and one where I live now. Well I had to end up throwing the one where I live at now because the person backed out at the last minute. So when I had my son I didn't get a shower as well. Well everyone that is around me that is pregnant is having a shower and they are on their third and fourth babies and their family is throwing them a shower. Now I'm feeling left out because I'm getting invited to all these showers and I want one too! I know it may sound foolish but I want to feel a little special as well. What do you all think? Can I throw my own shower or is that just tacky? Or should I just forget about having one because I don't have anyone that loves me that much?

Karema icon_cry.gif

16 replies
TheCakerator Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 9:14pm
post #2 of 17

well I don't know about where you live, but where I live times are REALLY tough right now (MI) anyways, even before times were tough, if someone in our family or even close friends were on their third or fourth baby, no shower was given unless there were YEARS in between kids, and I'm talking like 10 years or more. So even though I'm sure you have people that would love to throw you a party, maybe they can't afford it? I suppose if you want to throw your own shower that's one thing, but I probably wouldn't expect much in the way of gifts. I think times are hard everywhere. Just my 2 cents.

CTrammell2435 Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 9:57pm
post #3 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheCakerator

well I don't know about where you live, but where I live times are REALLY tough right now (MI) anyways, even before times were tough, if someone in our family or even close friends were on their third or fourth baby, no shower was given unless there were YEARS in between kids, and I'm talking like 10 years or more. So even though I'm sure you have people that would love to throw you a party, maybe they can't afford it? I suppose if you want to throw your own shower that's one thing, but I probably wouldn't expect much in the way of gifts. I think times are hard everywhere. Just my 2 cents.





I have to agree here. Times are pretty tough! Maybe instead af asking for gifts or something you can just have a nice get together just to celebrate the child! Have a BBQ or a pot luck! Plus maybe people think you have some of your other childrens things left over from when they were little in that case you really wouldnt need alot! But if you really want to have a party I would just through a pot luck or something. At least this way for people who cant go out and buy a baby gift can still feel like they have done something by bringing food to the get together

shelbur10 Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 11:57pm
post #4 of 17

In my area, showers are held for every pregnancy, it's viewed more as a celebration of the new baby instead of just giving gifts of supplies that you might need. So, even if you have everything you need from previous babies, diapers, new clothes, etc are always welcome and it's a special day to celebrate the new baby. (not dissing anyone who doesn't do it that way, everyone does things differently...)
Of course you can throw yourself a shower if you'd like to. If you're worried about it looking tacky, word the invite as if it's coming from the older kids ('come celebrate our new baby sister/brother...) A word of caution, though... I totally get that you're feeling let down about this, and I don't blame you, but is throwing your own shower going to make you miserable? Are you going to end up spending the day feeling resentful that no one else offered to do it? Please don't feel that no one loves you enough to throw a shower, there could be any number of reasons that no one has offered.

Texas_Rose Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 12:07am
post #5 of 17

No one threw a shower for either of my kids. I didn't have a bridal shower either. I never really thought about the lack of a shower until now icon_biggrin.gif

Anyhow, do you have a relative or friend you can ask to host the shower? Even if they have it at your house and you buy the food and stuff, they can be the one to send out the invitations and then it doesn't look tacky.

Deb_ Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 12:31am
post #6 of 17

How about waiting until after the baby is born and celebrating then?

Around here we only have a shower for our first pregnancy unless like the pp said, there's years in between kids then maybe you'd get a second one.

We always have a celebration when the baby is baptized and everyone gives a gift to the new little one at that time.

mkolmar Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 12:54am
post #7 of 17

I like the idea of a shower after the baby is born. Don't forget that some people will bring gifts when the baby is born to the hospital also.

If you want to feel special or make your friends feel special:
What my friends and I would do when one of us was pregnant would form a day of pampering. One friend would drop of dinner. Another friend would watch her kids so she could rest and usually another one would give a mini-pedi or something along those lines. This was always when we were huge and couldn't see our feet and felt nasty because we were almost due.
We would come up with different ideas also like drawing a bubble bath with candles, soothing music and chocolates. (not my thing, but my friends liked it).
One of the best things someone did for me after baby #4 was to come over and watch all the kids so I could sleep for 2 hours during the day. I was getting very little sleep so that meant the most to me.

CookieD-oh Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:34pm
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Anyhow, do you have a relative or friend you can ask to host the shower? Even if they have it at your house and you buy the food and stuff, they can be the one to send out the invitations and then it doesn't look tacky.




I like this idea ^^^. Maybe it's just that no one knows you would like a shower for this baby?

tiggy2 Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:48pm
post #9 of 17

I was under the impression showers were only given for the first born, I guess times have changed. However, if I was invited to shower for a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child I would probably decline. If it was family I would certainly take a gift when the child was born.

__Jamie__ Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:51pm
post #10 of 17

Yeah, I wouldn't go throwing my own baby shower. I would however host a post birth celebration, Welcome Baby party, whatever you wanna call it.

Karema Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 10:18pm
post #11 of 17

Thanks for all the advice. I guess I was feeling bad because a family member is having her fourth baby and is getting yet another shower. I was invited and I'm going but I kind of feel like there is more than one person in the family pregnant so I feel left out. But that's ok I don't think I want the headache of throwing a shower. I would be bitter the whole time if I had to cook and make the cake. I would be so mad that no one even offered to help so why annoy my self? I'm glad that her family loves her enough to throw her a shower and I will just go and try to enjoy myself.

Karema

__Jamie__ Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 10:22pm
post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karema

I'm glad that her family loves her enough to throw her a shower and I will just go and try to enjoy myself. Karema




icon_twisted.gif Pissed much? Put your feet up....forget about it.

summernoelle Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 5:29am
post #13 of 17

Honestly? I think your preggers hormones are making you grumpy. You just gotta let this stuff go!
I did not have a shower for my 2nd baby (which was a girl after having a boy.) A family member or friend could have done it, but they didn't. You know...it just isn't a big deal.
Although a sweet friend of mine did surprise me with another friend, dinner, and some sweet presents. That was nice. icon_smile.gif

Karema Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 7:51pm
post #14 of 17

Yeah I think you are right that my pregnancy hormones are getting the best of me. I was so sad but I let it go and I had a blast at the shower. After we left my mil asked me if August would be ok to throw me a shower. I was shocked and told her that she didn't have to but I appreciated if she did. I think I was so upset because I let this get to me and I couldn't understand why I cared so much or why I was so upset about it. Usually I wouldn't care but for some reason I couldn't stop crying about it. Thanks for letting me vent though. I feel a lot better today.

Karema icon_biggrin.gif

michellenj Posted 21 Jun 2009 , 3:43am
post #15 of 17

Karema-

Everyone went crazy when I had my first baby. My son didn't get sh!t. Four years later, it's still kind of the same. I don't think it was a slight, I just think the excitement wore off, other siblings had babies, and that's the deal. Plus-in my area, you don't get a shower for your children other than your first. The first one is "real" shower. You're expectef to recycle stuff, I guess. (Down south where I grew up, you would have like 5 showers per child. PA peeps are not so generous).

Good luck!
Michelle

erinalicia Posted 22 Jun 2009 , 12:01am
post #16 of 17

I didn't have a shower for my second baby, but there was only 16 months between the two boys so we didn't need anything but diapers really. If our second had been a girl though I could have seen having a baby shower or a "welcome baby" party after the birth.

Diaper parties have become popular, but I really like the idea of a "welcome baby" party. That way everyone gets to meet the baby and they can bring a gift if they so choose.

We all want to feel special and loved when we're pregnant... do something special for yourself! Go get a pedicure or a massage and relax! icon_smile.gif

Annabakescakes Posted 22 Jun 2009 , 4:12am
post #17 of 17

I feel Ya, girlfriend! Baby boy 3 moths old, no shower! Last baby was girl, been 8 years since I had a little boy. Here is a little party for us!!! party.gifbirthday.gifparty.gif

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