ArtieTs Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:09am
post #1 of

Well I delivered my 1st belly cake this past Saturday to a family members shower. It was delivered with no imperfections & I had planned to return to the event. Half way into me getting dressed to return I get a call that the cake has been damaged & can I "pretty please" come fix the cake before the mom-to-be gets there. I'm thinking hecks no I'm getting dressed. After 5 more calls I finally get to the shower to find that the same little monster that stuck his somewhat big little fingers in the cake had gotten to it twice? A case of a parent not be alert & watching her kid. With my piping bag in hand I fixed the poke spots & the mother of the kid had the nerve to say well I tried to watch him. WTH!!!! I not so politely told her that evidentially she had tried hard enough since he did it twice. Needless to say I considered the bitchy cake lady for the rest of the shower (who cares). I may be too tough but I think she should have been asked to leave & take her kid with. This is my felling, baby shower does not mean your kids shower & they should be left at home for certain occasions, especially if they don't know how to behave. I hope I haven't offended anyone that feels differently & does anyone currently charge for repairing cake mishaps not caused by you? I'm thinking that'll be my policy going forward, even for family members.

138 replies
umgrzfn Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:13am
post #2 of

In agreement here!!!! Once...ok maybe...BUT TWICE?????!!!!! Ok, that mom needs a slap along side the head!!!!! A baby shower, wedding shower...whatever shower is for adults. I don't think you said it was a "birthday" shower!!!!!!!!!

Alice1230 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:14am
post #3 of

I woulde be mad too,,,especially if it had happened twice!

KawaiiCakeCook Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:16am
post #4 of

oh i'm a total grinch....I completely dislike miscreant children. And I don't have any of my own so no I just don't get it. yes I know, I'm a horrible person, totally get it. I have friends with great kids, and friends with terrors, guess who gets invited to my place for dinner icon_smile.gif Will I eat my words when i have children probably but until then I can't stand those free loving parents and their little ankle bitters.

indydebi Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:22am
post #5 of

I LUV'D your comment to her! Am I'm with you .... if they want to consider me the b*tch of the party because of making a statement like that, then let 'em. It wasn't MY kid that played in the food!

Anything can happen once .... but twice? Bull.

Lisaa1996 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:25am
post #6 of

I agree with all of you. I have 3 kids ages 11 down to 2 and I would NEVER try to bring them to a shower! They are very well-behaved but come on, obviously it's adult only!!! And even if kids were invited, if you know your kid is a brat and totally disrespectful of other people's property...than LEAVE HIM AT HOME!!!!!!!

erin_e Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:31am
post #7 of

I can't stand kids that are brats either! I KNOW they can be good because I have about 1/2 a dozen cousins who would never stick their fingers in food not on their plate (ranging from 3-1st grade.) The only kids that ever come to a shower in our family are the ones that are still in a carrier and can't shove their fingers in the cake!

I can't stand going to Walmart mainly because of it...was there the other night and almost took out a 3 year old running alone through the aisles when he came around a corner. I said (really loudly cause I know the adult was next to me--she was reaching for the kid) "wow, look at the kid with the irresponsible parent!" i could feel the glare burning into my head!

jonahsmom Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:38am
post #8 of

Okay, so I have to say...honestly, I have totally mixed feelings about this!

I'm pretty new to caking, but it drives me nertz when someone's kid puts their fingers in the cake! It happened with my nephew's cake (nascar one) and my grandparents 50th anniversary cake. OMG!!!! It seriously bugged me the eff out!!!

That said, my son is autistic, ocd, and tourettes. Some things he does just come out.....he can't really control it. But, and this is a HUGE BUT, my husband and I are on him like white on rice all the time. Especially at an event. For his safety and everyone/everything else around him! And if we feel he would be in a situation where people would misunderstand him, belittle or berate him in any way because of his behavior, or if some of his tics would cause a disaster, we do something else fun as a family and none of us misses out. Not because I would be embarrassed, but because we understand that there are certain instances that he just cannot handle and stress causes more ticking and stimming. Take our recent trip to the Science Center for instances......eeeyikes!!!!

Even though he doesn't catch the subtleties of life and socialization, he knows NO ONE TOUCHES MAMA'S CAKE BUT MAMA!!!!! He has never once tried to touch a cake. He does love to watch me make them...sits in a chair by the door in the kitchen...and he always says they're pretty. Even before they start to look like anything. He knows what fondant is, he knows what buttercream is, etc. because he is very curious and truly wants to know what's going on over there!

But yeah....keep them damn kids away from the cake! Sometimes, the adults, too! Yep, I've seen adults touching a cake to see what it's made of....they don't think I see, but I do!!!!

jonahsmom Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:41am
post #9 of

I guess they're not really mixed feelings at all! My kid knows not to touch so everyone else's kids should too!! icon_smile.gif

summernoelle Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 3:49am

I too have mixed feelings. I would be so irritated if I was you, but at the same time, stuff does happen.

Most of the time my kids are good and sweet and well behaved. But man when they aren't and something happens, I freaking hate it when people give me the stink eye or say something snotty. Life with kids is hard! They aren't always perfect! It doesn't mean I am a lazy parent!

Cakeandcupcakes Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 4:14am

Clearly a touchy topic for everyone. I have two kids and agree they should not be at showers or adult events at all. However, my kids have also been known to stick their fingers in a cake that I was making at home. That being said, I always photograph my cakes after I drop them off at all angles and the surrounding area to make sure that if they do get damaged onsite I can #1 prove it was not my fault and #2 charge for the correction if needed.

cocobaby Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 4:15am

It's not kids all the time! I work at a retail store and we hold Bridal Expos in our store twice a year. Last year, 4 days before the event, the person who was to supply the cake couldn't do it, we had just went through a hurricane the week before. The department manager asked if I could make just a simple cake to serve the brides to be. When I left the cake someone was to be with it at all times. Needless to say, the person "watching" it stepped away and an adult woman stuck her fingers in the top tier!! What nerve! You would think a grown person would know better.

Bluehue Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 4:40am

As a parent i firmly believe that there is nothing more important than knowing where your child is and what they are doing at all times - THATS PARENTING - and the whiney voice of a Mother who says - "ohhh, i'm sorry that he stuck his fingers in the cake" deserves more than a curt look.

Arghhhhhh - people touching food - that isn't on their plate - icon_mad.gificon_mad.gif


ArtieTs ...you had every reason to be icon_mad.gif and the reason THAT Mother was flip about it is really as plain as the noses on our faces SHE DIDN'T MAKE IT

Bluehue. icon_smile.gif

Ruth0209 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 6:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonahsmom

Okay, so I have to say...honestly, I have totally mixed feelings about this!

I'm pretty new to caking, but it drives me nertz when someone's kid puts their fingers in the cake! It happened with my nephew's cake (nascar one) and my grandparents 50th anniversary cake. OMG!!!! It seriously bugged me the eff out!!!

That said, my son is autistic, ocd, and tourettes. Some things he does just come out.....he can't really control it. But, and this is a HUGE BUT, my husband and I are on him like white on rice all the time. Especially at an event. For his safety and everyone/everything else around him! And if we feel he would be in a situation where people would misunderstand him, belittle or berate him in any way because of his behavior, or if some of his tics would cause a disaster, we do something else fun as a family and none of us misses out. Not because I would be embarrassed, but because we understand that there are certain instances that he just cannot handle and stress causes more ticking and stimming. Take our recent trip to the Science Center for instances......eeeyikes!!!!

Even though he doesn't catch the subtleties of life and socialization, he knows NO ONE TOUCHES MAMA'S CAKE BUT MAMA!!!!! He has never once tried to touch a cake. He does love to watch me make them...sits in a chair by the door in the kitchen...and he always says they're pretty. Even before they start to look like anything. He knows what fondant is, he knows what buttercream is, etc. because he is very curious and truly wants to know what's going on over there!

But yeah....keep them damn kids away from the cake! Sometimes, the adults, too! Yep, I've seen adults touching a cake to see what it's made of....they don't think I see, but I do!!!!




I totally empathize. My oldest daughter is developmentally disabled with OCD and ADHD. She's 27 now and much calmer, but oh, boy, when she was small we called her Demolition Lisa! She's a tiny little person (she's 4'9" and wears a little girls' size 12), but she's always been a stick of dynamite. We learned early on that there were just a LOT of places we couldn't take her. I didn't always love that, but it was our life. We had our share of disasters with her that didn't seem funny at the time, but are part of the family lore now that we laugh about.

Evoir Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:02am

Interesting discussion! My husband and I are consistent with our disciplining of our two kids...but we have noticed a lot of disapproval from the 'free-and-easy' parenting camp because of this!! Mostly it happened when they were toddlers. In fact those first 6 years I would say are crucial in setting boundaries and doing the very hard work of REAL parenting.

As an example, if we were at someone's home for a party and our kids did something they aren't allowed to do at home (usually following some delinquent other child's behavioural example) we would given them 'time out'. Some people have no trouble telling you that you're too harsh, that its not important, that they're only kids blah blah blah. It sucks when you are trying to discipline your kids and other parents/grandparents almost sabotage your efforts! I for one got sick of defending our methods. But guess who has two incredibly well-behaved, charming, polite and happy kids now??

KawaiiCakeCook Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 9:12am

I love you Evoir, I will applaud you all day every day, I promise. If you want to be free loving parent, and you have an angel fine, I don't care how you handle it as long as the behavior is corrected and STOPPED. Short of slap across the face or obvious abuse I'm all about letting you handle your kids anyway you want.

peg818 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 10:54am

its easy to give advice on parenting, especially when they aren't your kids.


Now to say i don't blame the op for being upset with this other mother. Sometimes you need to know when to find a sitter or leave the child at home.

Loucinda Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 12:37pm

I TOTALLY agree.....I have raised 3 of my own and since I have rean a daycare for 28 years, a MULTITUDE of other children also. Evoir is right on the money with her post. PERIOD. If you set boundries and teach respect from day one, you have children that listen and are pleasant to be around the rest of their growing years. Will they occasionally act out? Yes, but they also know there will be repercussions for their actions and they learn from it.

My parents are always amazed at how well their children listen and behave when they are with me ......and ask why can't they be that way at home??? (hmmm....maybe because you have said "if you do that one more time 10 times already!!! icon_mad.gif ) Say it ONCE and mean it.

Can you tell what my pet peeves are??? icon_wink.gif Don't even get me started on the monster children in a restaurant.

I would be the mean cake lady at the party too!

2SchnauzerLady Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 12:49pm

I had a brother who was like that child, even though we had a strict upbringing. Some children are going to get into things no matter what the parents do. However, moms know when their child is like that and this mom should have made certain the cake was out of reach of those grimey little hands! My mother would take my brother home or away from the party if he didn't behave. Now, after saying that, my brother is getting pay back with his grandson (and there's another one on the way)! As my dad used to say - "REVENGE!"

michellesArt Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 12:53pm

we tell our kids the reason we don't all eat out is because they don't consistantly behave at home-why would i take them out where we will be judged by our kids behaviour if they aren't going to act properly (okay, not never but it's been a long time-plus it's expensive with 4 kids and 2 adults) a nice restaurant requires nice behaviour, polite manners and if i feel my kids aren't up to behaving (moods, day whatever) they aren't going. you shouldn't drag your kids out just because you want to go.

jennbrownrigg Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:00pm

I think what you said was fine. I have three kids, 9, 8, & 6 and they would NEVER touch other people's food...not even when they were 3...they just knew/know better! Like lots of posters have said, once maybe but twice...if my kid had touched it once you can bet he'd have been sitting right there with me for the rest of the event....

They are just lucky that you were returning to the event and were able to fix it...had it been a client cake they'd have been out of luck, so they should be greatful for that, even if you are a 'bitchy cake lady'...I'd be too!

cutthecake Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:08pm

I've told this story here before.
We were at our niece's wedding where there were several children--mostly little girls in frilly dresses-- running in and out around the tables. I happened to be standing next to the wedding cake when they ran into the cake table and knocked the darn thing over. To the floor. I looked down and saw cake and icing all over my shoes. Several of us blocked the bride's view of the disaster while the staff cleaned up the mess. The bride was a very good sport about it. No tantrum. She even laughed when she was told later on. (The little girls were on the groom's side.)

The worst part was that I didn't get to eat wedding cake. The venue, also a regular restaurant, substituted cheesecake. Cheesecake is good, but it's not cake.

mgwebb68 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:11pm

The parent should have been watching the child, PERIOD! It was just plain disrespectful -of the parent. You have to teach your children from the begining.

I have a toddler and like another post said, I'm on her like "white on rice" all the time. Not because she's bad, because she 2 1/2 and she's learning the rules and it's for her safety. However, at 2 1/2 she's more well behaved than most kids I see. We take her everywhere with us, but she doesn't behave like a wild animal. If we are at a resturant and she acts up, we correct her or someone is going to the car, we've done it several times, and when we ask her if she wants to go to the car, she knows we're serious. The other people are there expecting to have a nice dinner and I'm not going to allow my child to annoy them. She also doesn't run around in a store - any store - like a little maniac. If they aren't taught by the parents, they don't know any different. You want to give me a "look" because I corrected my child's behavior in public, go ahead, but don't you dare stick your nose in my business to raise a polite, well mannered child and expect that I'm not going to have a few words regarding your behavior as well. This, however has never happened, I have been, on many occasions, complimented (by older couples mostly) for how well behaved my child is.

My daughter loves to help mommy cook and bake and I let her, I'm hoping she's going to want to do it for years to come. But, when things are done and there's a cake - NO TOUCHING, and I only have to tell her once. But she's 2 so I tell her each time, sometimes she tells me, "Mommy I not touch". thumbs_up.gif

Mike1394 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:24pm

How your child reacts in a public stituation is a direct reflection of how you are as a parent. Kids get into things, we all understand that, but if it happens twice, to bad you suck, as bad as your kid. Go ahead all rip away. The greatest thing you can do as a parent is raise a well respected child, who is respectful, and aware of other people's feelings.

Mike

cakes22 Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:38pm

I am lucky that my kids are respectful towards other people and their things. My daycare kids are treated the same way that I treated my own kids and I have parents who don't agree with how I run my household & my DC business and those parents & kids don't last long. I have strict rules and guidelines for the kids safety, my safety (and sanity) but also for my home. I had one parent (a mom of an 18 month old boy) who offered me a pamphlet on childhood discipline and behaviour for 18-24 months olds. Excuse me? For this I apply the immortal words of Indydebi: "NEXT!"

Parents need to stop trying to be friends with their kids and be the parent. My DD is 15, we have a great relationship, a lot better than I had with my mom at her age. But she knows and wants me to be her mom, not her friend.

alvarezmom Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 1:45pm

I agree--some events you just shouldnt take a child to. You know kids get bored and will want to start acting out-not always because their bad but because their bored!!!

We were at the SA Zoo this passed weekend. We walked by a family. The little kids probably about 4 and 6 threw both of their water bottles at my daughter's feet. She tripped and I told her to pick the bottles up and give them back to the kids. She did so. When we walked off my 12 yr old heard one of the mother's saying "Boy that mom is mean". My 12 yr old turned around, smiled at the lady and told her "Yeah, but we all know not to throw something at some one walking by". LOL When she came and old me I almost fell over with pride! My 12 yr old finally realized why I tell them things all the time.

My MIL says I am to strict with my kids and step children. But I dont care what she says because unlike her I am THERE raising them not in the bars.

I would have said something to the mother as well. Who cares what those ppl thought about you! They dont know how long it took to make it, ice it, and decorate. It was what 5-6 hours of work? Maybe more?

cutthecake Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 2:02pm

Our son--the youngest-- is about to graduate high school. A school employee just told me how polite and respectful he is. I almost burst at the seams with pride. I'm glad he's using his "company manners" especially at school!
When I told the story to our family, our 22-year old said to us, "That's one thing you really did right. [Only one?, we asked] You made sure we used manners and were polite. Now I hate being with people with bad manners."
I heard the Hallelujah chorus!!!!! The big pay-off!! They do get it!!!!!

Franluvsfrosting Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 5:15pm

I'm with you and I have four kids! If they can't keep their hands to themselves and I'm incapable of watching them then they need to stay home! I did a wedding cake for a friend and they placed it in a gazebo. No big deal, until they decided to put bowls of candy all around the cake! Where do you suppose was the most popular place at the reception? At that point I figured the important people had seen the cake and I'd been paid. I wasn't going to stress about it. But had my bride not seen it yet I would have been up there with a broom! lol

mackeymom Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 5:52pm

MEAN CAKE LADIES UNITE!

I am as mother of a 3 year old and an 18 month old, and my husband works nights. SO he leaves before dinner hits the table, so for all practical purposes I am a single mom. And my kids won't even touch their own food with their hands, let alone someone elses food! Because we all know all the germ infested places a kids hands can be! NASTY!

Wendl Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 6:22pm

I am sooo there with y'all!!! An ill-behaved child is an abomination - but like a badly behaved pet, it's the person in charge that is even more at fault. When I was little my grandmother would tell me when we entered a store "Let me hold your hand." I looked up at her and said "I hold my hand" and I sure enough did - through the whole of the store! I didn't touch a thing besides the opposite hand.

No, I do not have children - but to the folks claiming "well you don't have kids - what do you know!?" crowd - screw that! I made my spending money in High School babysitting, I worked the summer between h.s. & college at a daycare, I've taken Child Psychology, I've been a well-behaved child and one of my dear friends ALWAYS knew that when they left their only child in my care, the rules would be followed, she would be loved and appropriately spoiled w/books and hockey games. Just because I didn't pop an 8 pounder or few out of my v-j-j doesn't mean I'm incapable of understanding children/parenting. Trust me, there are way TOO many folks out there having kids because they can not because they should. Oh, and to boot - I spent a year w/my ex boyfriend and his three teenagers. Two of them were out of control w/drugs/alcohol (courtesy of both the parents' lax attitudes and the whole "friends" instead of parents...) and the youngest one might make it to functional adulthood w/o rehab being mandated. I spent a year in the trenches. So don't go there w/me because I don't have children of my own.

I, too, would be happy to be the cake b*tch if it comes down to it. Even when I'm not there on a cake-related purpose, badly behaved kids and their parents get the stink-eye from me. And I more than happily commend parents of well-behaved kiddos.

W.

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