Why Don't People Watch Their Children? Arrgh

Decorating By ArtieTs Updated 26 Dec 2009 , 7:33pm by cutthecake

cutthecake Posted 2 Aug 2009 , 3:54pm
post #121 of 139

And SOME relatives just don't get it...no matter what. They're nervey and pushy and annoying. Always were, always will be. Even when they're helping, they have to be controlling. Ugh.

LaBellaFlor Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 4:53am
post #122 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterpatty

Compared to what I have heard some people say in public about other's children, I think the OP was fairly restrained.
My son was (oh, thank you, Lord) a fairly well-behaved child. However, once in Target he threw a horrible fit over a toy, head-butted his dad in the -ummm- privates and fell to the floor screaming and kicking. I politely and calmly lifted him to his feet and began walking him towards the nearest restroom (unfortunately that was all the way across the store). A lady looked down her nose at us and commented to a woman who was with her that "that little boy is a demon; she needs to deal with him now". I paused, turned to her, and said, "I AM dealing with him. We are headed to the bathroom for an exorcism right now, thank you very much." The "exorcism" apparently worked because he never pulled another stunt like that again!





icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gif I've only ever had to perform an "exocism" once & that was my oldest.

LaBellaFlor Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 5:00am
post #123 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonahsmom

OMG! I was just asked to do an awesome cake (don't know what I'm gonna do yet) for our upcoming family reunion and now I'm SCARED!!!! I'm pretty sure our gene pool IS polluted...but I've seen the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all lay the smack down when kids are doing something they shouldn't. Us rednecks don't let the kids get away with nothin'! icon_lol.gif





icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gif

Let me tell you, I'm from a very liberal California & used to be shocked (and no, I'm not trying to be racist, just stating what I ALWAY observed growing up) at how the white kids used to treat there parents. I would see little kids literally jump on their parents backs, hitting & kicking at them, from the teenagers just cursing at their parents like it wasn't nothing. I used to be SHOCKED! icon_eek.gif But then I moved to the good "ol South" and let me tell you, these white people don't PLAY! icon_surprised.gif The first time I ever went to a store here & saw this kid attempt to act a fool, that father was real clear cut about giving him the business, and he was loud about it. thumbs_up.gificon_twisted.gif

LaBellaFlor Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 5:04am
post #124 of 139

And by the way, I don't hold kids accountable for their behavior, I hold the parents. I have 7 kids from 8 months to 18 years old (I guess she shouldn't count anymore, shes off to college icon_wink.gif ) and I don't expect my 3 year old to always know not to touch like the older kids. I expect myself to keep an eye out for the 3 babies.

sueco Posted 3 Aug 2009 , 8:15pm
post #125 of 139

When my boys reached the age of three and could understand a bit more, I would have "Manners Week" with them. That meant that for a whole week the proper way to behave and speak and act towards others at home and in public was repeated to them a trillion times, and if they forgot, it was repeated again. Over the years there have had to be refresher courses, but they were few and far between. What was interesting (and sad, I guess), was that there were so many live examples of how "not" to act whenever we were out somewhere for them to see. I would also tell my boys that you "look with your eyes, not your hands". The older one just turned 21 and the younger one is 11, and I am proud to say that they are both well-mannered and were never considered by others to be "Demon Spawn".

Parents need to be parents. If that makes you unpopular, even with your own children, so be it. I have told my kids that I am not their friend, I am their parent. They have their own friends and I have mine. We need to be respectful and considerate of each other, but we don't need to be BFFs. When they have kids of their own, hopefully they'll understand and appreciate the fact that you were only trying to make them good, responsible, courteous people, and will do the same with and for their children.
Okay, off my soapbox now. Just putting in my two cents.

kilikina_24 Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 2:11pm
post #126 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBellaFlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonahsmom

OMG! I was just asked to do an awesome cake (don't know what I'm gonna do yet) for our upcoming family reunion and now I'm SCARED!!!! I'm pretty sure our gene pool IS polluted...but I've seen the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins all lay the smack down when kids are doing something they shouldn't. Us rednecks don't let the kids get away with nothin'! icon_lol.gif




icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gif

Let me tell you, I'm from a very liberal California & used to be shocked (and no, I'm not trying to be racist, just stating what I ALWAY observed growing up) at how the white kids used to treat there parents. I would see little kids literally jump on their parents backs, hitting & kicking at them, from the teenagers just cursing at their parents like it wasn't nothing. I used to be SHOCKED! icon_eek.gif But then I moved to the good "ol South" and let me tell you, these white people don't PLAY! icon_surprised.gif The first time I ever went to a store here & saw this kid attempt to act a fool, that father was real clear cut about giving him the business, and he was loud about it. thumbs_up.gificon_twisted.gif




icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif Laughing so hard right now!!! I was born and raised in the south and this is where I plan to stay!!! thumbs_up.gif I can't imagine letting my child hit me, yell at me, or especially curse at me!!! That's crazy!!

ajjhmf Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 2:25pm
post #127 of 139

Before you jump to judge other people's parenting, remember there may be more to the story than you think.

I have 2 special needs boys and while I work very, very hard at teaching them, sometimes something triggers them when we are out in public there is nothing I can do. Last week my 10yo broke down at a store and while we left as soon as I could, I still need to get what I came for since I knew there was no going back that day. It didn't help that I passed a bunch of other women staring at me and acting like they would never let their kids act that way. I've even had people come up to me in stores and tell me what a bad parent I am and how awful my kids are...in front of them.

While I can agree that there are parents out there that don't do a great job of parenting their kids, before you judge from afar, remember that lots and lots of disabilities are invisible to the general population. No one would know there was anything wrong with my boys unless they spent time with them yet time and again it falls on my "bad parenting."

JoJo0855 Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 12:52pm
post #128 of 139

I've always maintained that there are only 3 things you need to teach your children:
1. Manners.
2. Respect (for themselves and others).
3. The difference between right & wrong.
Everything else is just puddin' !

Pookie59 Posted 6 Aug 2009 , 2:00pm
post #129 of 139

Doesn't anyone use babysitters anymore? That's how I made my spending money when I was a teen, but these days parents are either too cheap or seem to have an attitude that their kids are too good for that. I don't get these stupid parents that think that their kids are automatically welcome everywhere. Hello! Wake up and smell the icing! I've personally witnessed brat kids running wild at a reception and repeatedly sticking their fingers in a wedding cake. I wanted to go slap the goofball single dad who let it happen, but it wasn't my wedding, wasn't my cake and the bride was much more gracious than I would have been.

Unfortunately there's no IQ test for parenting; any idiot can make a baby.

allifradgley Posted 20 Dec 2009 , 2:06am
post #130 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajjhmf

Before you jump to judge other people's parenting, remember there may be more to the story than you think.

I have 2 special needs boys and while I work very, very hard at teaching them, sometimes something triggers them when we are out in public there is nothing I can do. Last week my 10yo broke down at a store and while we left as soon as I could, I still need to get what I came for since I knew there was no going back that day. It didn't help that I passed a bunch of other women staring at me and acting like they would never let their kids act that way. I've even had people come up to me in stores and tell me what a bad parent I am and how awful my kids are...in front of them.

While I can agree that there are parents out there that don't do a great job of parenting their kids, before you judge from afar, remember that lots and lots of disabilities are invisible to the general population. No one would know there was anything wrong with my boys unless they spent time with them yet time and again it falls on my "bad parenting."




This is my first post, so please be gentle with me icon_redface.gif but I totally agree. I have a 10 year old boy with dyspraxia (I think it's called apraxia in the US) and ADHD. He's generally really well behaved, but he's incredibly clumsy and lives his life at 100 mph, he doesn't mean to knock things over but his spacial awareness is terrible, so he'd be the kid knocking cups over, tripping over A LOT or bumping into you (apraxia is often called clumsy child syndrome), he would never mean it and would always be incredibly apologetic, but so many times he has been cursed at by adults who really should know better.

Our house has nothing below shoulder level because the anxiety caused to our son by constantly worrying about breaking stuff or knocking it over was so difficult to watch, we were fine about it because we understood his difficulties. Still, he gets really, really upset when he knocks anything over and blames himself to a completely out of proportion degree, why would we add to that pressure by having breakables around or not explaining before we visit to friends and family and advising them to move valuables or we just don't visit?

I'm British and we don't have baby showers, so I don't know how formal an occasion it was, but I probably would not have taken my son and so would not have gone at all. I don't use babysitters for my child because the anxiety caused to my son by having him looked after by anyone but me is just too distressing to watch.

My son is adopted and has overcome a very difficult birth and many obstacles to get where he is today and we are so incredibly proud of him and how far he has come but he looks completely "normal" (God I hate that word), so please ladies (and maybe a few gentlemen), try not to judge a book so harshly by it's cover. If you talked to the mum and kid (if they're old enough), you may find there's more to them or more going on than meets the eye.

Sorry! Only just realised this was an old thread! icon_redface.gif Told you I was new! icon_redface.gif

Love2BakeCakes Posted 20 Dec 2009 , 2:24am
post #131 of 139

I feel for you on this one, and I think she should have been charged an additional fee for you to come back out to fix the cake. The cake was damaged at no fault of yours. If a doctor gets paid to make housecalls, well ... !!!

Unfortunately, in my opinion, it's not the kid. It's the parent. It's the same as when some parents take their kids to the park and not supervise them. GET UP AND GET INVOLVED with their play. How many times have you rescued countless little ones who are allowed to wander into the swing area without adult supervision?! Regardless of their rude name calling to you, I feel your comment to the mom was justified and PROPS to you for it!

Odyssey Posted 21 Dec 2009 , 6:05am
post #132 of 139

If I knew kids were going to be there I would have advised to keep the cake out of reach until party time which I know isn't always possible, but once you get it there it is their problem.

I am loving reading this thread though. I want 3-4 of my own kids and am studying to be a teacher. For the past year I have worked at a preschool with various ages and even worked as a councilor at 16 and 17. Kids two years younger than me listened and respected me because there were set rules and disciplines. Time out and discussions are my tools since I can't beat them (JK). I definitely agree that consistency and boundaries are key, but the biggest thing I do is make sure my kids understand why they are in trouble. They tell me what they did and why and we talk about it. I think it promotes a better understanding of situations.

frostingfairy Posted 21 Dec 2009 , 9:27pm
post #133 of 139

I'm sorry, I just started reading this thread today (slow day at work) and I have plenty of opinions, but one thing stood out to me....

Quote:
Quote:

Of course, I expect her to behave well--and she knows if she doesn't, Momma always has a spanking spoon in her bag!




Really? A spanking spoon? Do you really do that? I hope you were just kidding, but I found that one little sentence very disturbing. I think that's going beyond discipline into the realm of abuse. Just my HO

sherrycanary62 Posted 22 Dec 2009 , 2:43pm
post #134 of 139

I saw my mother break more than a few wooden spoons over my sisters behind...I learned my lessons from my sisters pain icon_biggrin.gif

While it didn't seem to make a difference to her (she was very willful and I don't think tacking her to the wall with a nail gun would have made any difference), that little wooden spoon sure made a difference to me, all without ever having touched my butt. icon_biggrin.gif

heddahope Posted 22 Dec 2009 , 9:06pm
post #135 of 139

Just a funny little things about opinions, they are like a**holes, everybody's got one. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

I was in Sam's getting pizzas for my 4 yr olds birthday party last weekend. ( at his special request) He was acting horrible; yelling, screaming, kicking in the cart, He never behaves like that. I had told him a few times to calm down and he refused, so I proceeded to take him to the bathroom. I brought him in there to get him away from all the stimulation. We went in the stall where we talked about him calming down (the whole time I could hear women giggling about our lil conversation). He calmed down, we went back to shopping.
He starts back up and I told him that was it he needed to stop. Didn't even raise my voice, then i felt a tap on my shoulder. This old lady starts fussing at me that he is a baby and exhausted and I need to stop yelling at him and take home for a nap. I proceeded to tell her that it wasn't any of her business, and she needed to get out of my face. She tells me she called the police and she knows I beat him (I guess she saw me take him to the bathroom). I told her I hoped she did cause She was harassing me. We argued for a few min. then she walks off and tells some random couple "She just beat that baby".

I was in complete awe. My son continues to scream as we r checking out and this grown man a couple of lanes over yells "OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!!!" I just gave him the stink eye until he looked away. (the whole time thanking god my husband was not with me)

See, two totally different opinions in the span of 20 min. One person thinks I over discipline my child, the other under.

Sorry so long.

Just to add I was mortified by his behavior.

idgalpal Posted 22 Dec 2009 , 9:36pm
post #136 of 139

Back to the original post - why was this child at the shower? Were children invited? Did the mom just decide not to get a babysitter? My kids are grown now - 23 and 26. When they were growning up, if kids were invited to whatever function we were going to then they were with us. If kids weren't invited, if I couldn't get a babysitter then I didn't go. My opinion, and only my opinion, I didn't think it was fair to the other guest who didn't bring their chindren for me to bring mine and by the same token, it wasn't fair to my children to bring them if there wouldn't be other children there for them to play with. It just made sense to me.

03FLSTF Posted 26 Dec 2009 , 6:36pm
post #137 of 139

Huge kudos to all of you parents who are willing to do the hard work of parenting!!! My SIL and her hubbie are fantastic, loving parents & they have three great kids ranging from 9 to 12; the youngest is autistic. Theyve taught the kids manners and appropriate behavior, set expectations, and have been very clear and consistent with consequences. I remember dining out with them when the oldest was 5 and he began to act out; Mom & Dad were on it in a flash. Jr. had one chance to put his manners on, and when that failed he and Mom made a trip out to the car. This involved sitting with no music, no toys, and a very direct discussion about the bad behavior. Lets just say that sitting in the car with a disapproving parent and missing out on the fun inside was darn effective! Mom and Dad would take turns when a trip to the car was necessary; theyre willing to sacrifice their own wants and desires in order to raise great kids.

Since my hubbie and I dont have kids I think we probably find bratty behavior just that much more annoying icon_mad.gif . It seems like the parents either dont possess any manners (cant teach what you dont know), or are too egocentric to bother with their child. In any case, we go out of our way to give positive feedback when we spot great parents and kids in action (weve even sent dessert over in restaurants with parents permission of course). When I see a parent genuinely address their kids undesirable behavior in public I give them a smile and thumbs up. Ive been a Registered Nurse for 20 yrs and do appreciate the additional challenges special needs parents face my heart goes out to you and your child/children.

Food for thought parents of manner-less children arent doing their kids any favors. Employers spend a lot of time and money so they dont hire these kids when they become adults.

indydebi Posted 26 Dec 2009 , 6:47pm
post #138 of 139

heddahope, I was cracking up at your story! My granddaughter was about 4 when she decided to throw a big fit in Sam's (is it something about that store or what? icon_confused.gif ). She laid down on the floor and was crying away. Like yours, she was usually very well behaved. I told my daughter (her mom), "Just leave her there and walk away. She'll get up and follow us when she see's she's not getting the attention."

Well, that didn't work. We were 2 aisles away and she was still crying. So we headed back, laughing about "well THAT tactic didn't work!". Fortunately there were some other parents in there who were laughing with us, and one mom even said, "Yeah, I tried that with mine once and it didn't work either!" icon_lol.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by 03FLSTF

In any case, we go out of our way to give positive feedback when we spot great parents and kids in action...


We do the very same thing. Our most recent was a family with 4 kids that looked like they were all under the age of 6. We stopped by their table on our way out of the restaurant and told mom and dad they had the best behaved children we had seen in a long time. The parents smiles were a great reward but the smiles on the kids faces were even better! thumbs_up.gif

cutthecake Posted 26 Dec 2009 , 7:33pm
post #139 of 139

Every time I go to Costco, I feel like throwing a tantrum, too. I think it's the sheer size of the place and the quantity of items, and the volume and all of the humanity. Everything is magnified and amplified, including emotions. Get me out of there fast.

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