Why Don't People Watch Their Children? Arrgh

Decorating By ArtieTs Updated 26 Dec 2009 , 7:33pm by cutthecake

oneyracing Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 6:23pm
post #31 of 139

most parents know if their kids are bad...if they are...then have the sense to keep them at home during certain things...you do have kids that once in awhile do something you dont think they would do...BUT that is when you dont let them leave your site or you leave with them...i am a mother of 6 (4 girls of my own and a step son and daughter) 2 of which are twins and are in thier 3's...if they act up we leave or go to the car...now i will probely sound like a mean step mom here...but my 2 step-kids dont listen in public so we dont go out alot when they are with us...we will eat at the same places but we just order it to go and eat at home...thier mom thinks she is the cool one so she lets them do whatever they want...which is hard on us because here they have rules and bedtimes...we now have custody of his daughter and she does really good until she goes to her moms then we have trouble for a few days after she returns home...i guess my point being...

you know when your kids are bad...leave them at home or do something else with them that day...dont be disreseptful to the others around you

sadsmile Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 6:54pm
post #32 of 139

Totally in agreement and I have 4 kidoes. Unless someone says please bring the whole family I will attend either by my self(love this!) or with which ever of my kids are friends with the hostess' or Mom2B's childen. The last Baby shower I went to We all went as a family only because I was begged and well you don't turn down an Italian invitation for the family...LOL Didn't want to seam rude so we went. My then almost 2 y/o would not stop running back and forth and wanted to scream if she was forced to be held. Only tried that for half a second. So my hubby took her and our son home just before things really started. If I have to give my kids more then a look I will take them home rather than disturbing the joyous occasion. When i take my kids they are my responcibility and I am 'on duty!'

crl Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 6:55pm
post #33 of 139

I have to say if it were my kid that had stuck her hand on the cake, I would have made her stand in front of you and apologize and then we would have had a private talk. I couldn't agree more that your kids are a reflection of you. I am not here to be my kids' friend. I am here to teach them right from wrong, values and how to be a productive citizen of society. I, like mgwebb68, have had many compliments on how well behaved my kids are in public. The way I see, I don't want to have to listen to someone else's kid act like an idiot in public--I sure am not going to put up with from my kids.

cakeaddiction Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:01pm
post #34 of 139

I have to agree and add to this (what might turn out to be an epic thread). Children showing up with the other spouse to cake class is a PITA as well. Last night at the end of class one of the other students spouse shows up (like every other night) with 2 of the children. One is only 2 and runs around all over the place (in a store no less). I had just put the fondant on my cake and was getting something out of my bag when he ran right by my chair bumping into it, I had visions of my cake landing on the floor (thankfully he was just far enough away and I didn't listen to my parents and I didn't push my chair in icon_smile.gif. I guess I just wish, like many of you, that people would teach their children better manners.

cutthecake Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:02pm
post #35 of 139

We need to be licensed to drive, operate certain machinery, bake and sell cakes legally, etc., but ANYONE can crank out a kid. No rulebook, no manual, no licensing program. Something's wrong with that!

__Jamie__ Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:03pm
post #36 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by KawaiiCakeCook

oh i'm a total grinch....I completely dislike miscreant children. And I don't have any of my own so no I just don't get it. yes I know, I'm a horrible person, totally get it. I have friends with great kids, and friends with terrors, guess who gets invited to my place for dinner icon_smile.gif Will I eat my words when i have children probably but until then I can't stand those free loving parents and their little ankle bitters.




icon_lol.gificon_surprised.gificon_cry.gificon_biggrin.gificon_lol.gificon_cool.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_surprised.gif

Ok, all those smilies up there add up to me ROFLMAO!

I'm a mommy to a one year old, and can totally appreciate your post...so fricking funny!

__Jamie__ Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:04pm
post #37 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by crl

I have to say if it were my kid that had stuck her hand on the cake, I would have made her stand in front of you and apologize and then we would have had a private talk. I couldn't agree more that your kids are a reflection of you. I am not here to be my kids' friend. I am here to teach them right from wrong, values and how to be a productive citizen of society. I, like mgwebb68, have had many compliments on how well behaved my kids are in public. The way I see, I don't want to have to listen to someone else's kid act like an idiot in public--I sure am not going to put up with from my kids.




Nice!

thecakemaker Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 7:20pm
post #38 of 139

I took a champagne bottle cake to a family members 25th wedding anniversary party at a restaurant. It was buffet style in the back area where there was a bar and televisions so everyone could watch the game. A 15 yr old girl walked over to the cake and stood there - I watched closely because she looked too much like she was up to something - she picked up the knife and started to cut the cake! I jumped up and said "What do you think you're doing?" She glared at me, looked at the knife, layed it down and walked out the door of the restaurant - the back door into the alley. The parents had the audacity to be upset with me because I said something to her! They let her go for over an hour before they decided they might want to see where she went. This was in an alley in town. What were these people thinking?

I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!

Debbie

margaretb Posted 16 Jun 2009 , 10:10pm
post #39 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker


I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!
Debbie




On the other hand, my SIL's mother INSISTS that she bring her children, REFUSES to let SIL move anything out of reach, then complains if the 2 year old gets into something while SIL is BREASTFEEDING her infant. Sorry, but the child is 2 years old, and I think that is BS to expect him to not touch a thing. It's at the point that SIL hates taking the kids to see grandma, and grandma won't drive to the city to see them. Even before the baby was born, what the hell kind of visit was that, that she shows up, spends the entire time keeping a one year old occupied and out of stuff, getting more and more frustrated because it is not a childproof environment, and isn't able to converse with her mother because she is chasing the kid. SIL would rather stay home. Why would anyone with kids want to visit someone who effectively says come here, bring the kids, but by god do not expect me to make any accomodation that might allow you to enjoy the visit. Of course, in my family, if you invite the little kids, you pick up the breakables and bring out the toys. If you don't want to do that, then you don't invite the little kids, no offense taken. I've also been somewhere where I spent virtually the entire time following my child around. I did not spend more than two minutes at a time participating in the grown up conversation. I did not enjoy myself, and they couldn't have gotten any pleasure from my company. And yet they wonder why we don't come back and visit again.

I read a lot of parenting books when I had my first child, and one I remember dealt with the entire issue of breakables by saying, more or less in one paragraph, "Just leave everything out so they learn not to touch. The first time my girls touched one of my figurines, I firmly told them no, and they never did it again." Ummm, yeah, right.


I would also like to point out that it is fine and good for all of you to say "just don't bring the kids", but what if you live 15 miles from town, have only one reliable teenager within 5 miles who does babysitting for ten bucks an hour if she feels like it and isn't out with her friends or at tournaments, and no handy relatives willing to watch the boys? Sure, I can skip the social engagements, but sometimes you have to attend. I've had people give me the gears for not attending meetings, but these are the same people who have given me the evil eye or outright told me not to bring my kids to the meeting. Sorry, until you want to provide free and reliable babysitting, the kids come with me or I don't go. I have had maybe 3 things per year where I HAD to go and I COULD NOT bring kids, and I start literally 2 months out trying to arrange babysitting, and most of the time I cannot get my arrangments confirmed with 100% certainly until less than 24 hours before I have to leave.

thecakemaker Posted 17 Jun 2009 , 12:19pm
post #40 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker


I always like it too when family comes over and starts moving/picking up your stuff to put it out of their children's reach. I tell them "I didn't put it up for my kids and you're not putting it up for yours!" If they don't want to watch their kids, they can leave! It's that simple!
Debbie



On the other hand, my SIL's mother INSISTS that she bring her children, REFUSES to let SIL move anything out of reach, then complains if the 2 year old gets into something while SIL is BREASTFEEDING her infant. Sorry, but the child is 2 years old, and I think that is BS to expect him to not touch a thing. It's at the point that SIL hates taking the kids to see grandma, and grandma won't drive to the city to see them. Even before the baby was born, what the hell kind of visit was that, that she shows up, spends the entire time keeping a one year old occupied and out of stuff, getting more and more frustrated because it is not a childproof environment, and isn't able to converse with her mother because she is chasing the kid. SIL would rather stay home. Why would anyone with kids want to visit someone who effectively says come here, bring the kids, but by god do not expect me to make any accomodation that might allow you to enjoy the visit. Of course, in my family, if you invite the little kids, you pick up the breakables and bring out the toys. If you don't want to do that, then you don't invite the little kids, no offense taken. I've also been somewhere where I spent virtually the entire time following my child around. I did not spend more than two minutes at a time participating in the grown up conversation. I did not enjoy myself, and they couldn't have gotten any pleasure from my company. And yet they wonder why we don't come back and visit again.

I read a lot of parenting books when I had my first child, and one I remember dealt with the entire issue of breakables by saying, more or less in one paragraph, "Just leave everything out so they learn not to touch. The first time my girls touched one of my figurines, I firmly told them no, and they never did it again." Ummm, yeah, right.


I would also like to point out that it is fine and good for all of you to say "just don't bring the kids", but what if you live 15 miles from town, have only one reliable teenager within 5 miles who does babysitting for ten bucks an hour if she feels like it and isn't out with her friends or at tournaments, and no handy relatives willing to watch the boys? Sure, I can skip the social engagements, but sometimes you have to attend. I've had people give me the gears for not attending meetings, but these are the same people who have given me the evil eye or outright told me not to bring my kids to the meeting. Sorry, until you want to provide free and reliable babysitting, the kids come with me or I don't go. I have had maybe 3 things per year where I HAD to go and I COULD NOT bring kids, and I start literally 2 months out trying to arrange babysitting, and most of the time I cannot get my arrangments confirmed with 100% certainly until less than 24 hours before I have to leave.




If the kids are invited by all means bring them but they're your responsibility not mine. My child isn't perfect but he was taught "no" and "no touch" and he knew I meant it when I said it. My neices and nephews were taught that too. It's my house not yours or your childs so I shouldn't have to childproof it for your child. I don't have a lot of knick knacks sitting around but the few things I do have aren't gettnig put away. I'm talking about the people that show up and figure that it's my house so I should watch their children - the ones that show up and do their own thing until it's time to go and act the the child or children aren't theirs. Same for children that run rampant playing with balls in a grocery store. Watch them or don't bring them. They're your responsibility not mine. I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.

margaretb Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 7:23am
post #41 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker

I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.




Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.

Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.

Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.

I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.

nelikate Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 7:58am
post #42 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker

I'm talking about the people that show up and figure that it's my house so I should watch their children - the ones that show up and do their own thing until it's time to go and act the the child or children aren't theirs.




firstly sorry if I'm doing this wrong my first post highlighting someone else's comment.

anyway, its funny you point out the people who come and expect you to look after their children. When I went to meet my boyfriend's mother and family for the first time I was warned by his 86yo gran that what ever I do don't take the baby when his Step brother's wife came over because she is known throughout the family as coming to visit, dumping the less than 1 yo on a pillow on the floor or in someones lap and not coming back to it until its time to go home. When I met her she read the paper the whole time, didn't talk or socialise with anyone and didn't watch her 2 children at all. The oldest child was 2 or 3 so needed watching and attention because he was getting into everything.

I was shocked. I fully understand wanting time away from the children or wanting to socialise with other grown ups when visiting but not watching your kids AND not socialising - don't bother coming!

*mod edited to assist with quote. icon_smile.gif

JGMB Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 11:34am
post #43 of 139

Let me start by saying that no one loves kids more than I do -- although my 2 are in their mid-20s, I continue to help with VBS and am in my 17th year of teaching the 4-year old Sunday School class at church. And, yes, there are children with extenuating, diagnosed reasons why they act out at inappropriate times.

That being said, parents need to step up!!! My 3 most recent shockers took place within the last 2 weeks at church:

- - We serve lemonade and coffee in the parlor between services. Every week, we seemed to have fewer and fewer plastic tumblers. It turns out that kids were throwing them in the trash!!! I had to write a fairly terse (nasty? icon_wink.gif ) thing in our newsletter, telling parents to watch what their kids are doing.

- - I had been asked to make little cloth totes w/handles that contain a clipboard with some paper and a small box of crayons. These are to keep kids occupied during church. I now have to make 14 more to replace the ones that kids apparently took home!! Believe me, if my kids had come out of the building with something that was not ours, I'd have noticed and made them return it.

- - Now, for the worst one. This poor kid has no chance at becoming a decent adult, and I lay the blame completely at his family's feet. One of my little former Sunday Schoolers who's 5 1/2 now came over to me on Sunday to show me that he had WADS of cash in his pockets. At first glance, I thought it was all ones, which would've been bad enough. I looked again and saw that there were at least one $20 and one $10!! His grandma walked over and I asked her where he got it. Her exact words were, "Well, he probably stole it. I know he's stolen from me before." Then, she proceeded to sit down and drink a cup of coffee!!!!!!! I'm still in shock. No repercussions, no discussion with the little boy, nothing. I truly wonder what's going to happen to this poor kid. I envision him being in Juvenile Detention as soon as he's old enough. It breaks my heart and, yes, I blame the family.

Sorry for the LONG post, it's just that people always brush it off as "parents are so busy these days." I think if parents cut out the time they spent on Facebook, their cell phones, etc., maybe they'd find more time to pay attention to their kids. (And yes, I realize that I spend a lot of time on CC, but I've done my parenting duty!)

Mme_K Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 11:49am
post #44 of 139

JGMB said:
Sorry for the LONG post, it's just that people always brush it off as "parents are so busy these days." I think if parents cut out the time they spent on Facebook, their cell phones, etc., maybe they'd find more time to pay attention to their kids. (And yes, I realize that I spend a lot of time on CC, but I've done my parenting duty!)

I so agree. It's sad that they find time to have kids, but don't take the time to enjoy what a great gift they have. And then they wonder why their kids turn out the way they do.

Eisskween Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 11:49am
post #45 of 139

I agree with you completely. Raising a child without discipline is like having a puppy and expecting it to train themselves. It's just not responsible parenting.

thecakemaker Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 1:35pm
post #46 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker

I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.



Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.

Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.

Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.

I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.





Sorry - I didn't realize you were turning this into a personal attack. If you feel the need to quote me - include the entire quote where I also say that my child isn't perfect. Also, don't put words into my mouth - I never said you were raising yours to be rude and evil. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean -

Annabakescakes Posted 18 Jun 2009 , 6:52pm
post #47 of 139

I get compliments all the time for my kids behavior, I love it! Please allow me to brag for a second!! Just monday I took my 5 year old to get her shots for school this year and it being summer time and my DH at work, I also took the 8 year old twin boys, and the 3 month old!
I had to help my daughter pee in a cup, so I sat my big boys down and handed the more calm one the baby and said "be VERY careful". When I got back one of the doctors I don't know came in to tell me how well behaved my Kids, especially the (ADHD having) twins are!!
I always tell them "thank you, I wouldn't have it any other way!!"

And OP, Yes I charge to come back and fix cakes. Once I leave it is their responsibility or if they choose to pick it up and call me to come fix it I charge mileage and $25 on up, depending on the damage and what the repair looks like! It is cheaper to just have me deliver!

marinewifejones Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 3:31pm
post #48 of 139

I have to laugh at the comments made by those who dont have kids.

I have a 2 1/2 year old and an 11 month old who I watch like a hawk if we are close to any type of food that I dont want them putting their hands into. When I am making cakes at home they are on the other side of the gate, in their highchairs or asleep so that they cant come mess up what I am working on.

I deffinatly would have charged for the correction seeing as the child was allowed to get to it TWICE.

Mensch Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 7:33pm
post #49 of 139

Urk. I hate kids.

I cringe when they come into my store!

SJ169 Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 7:51pm
post #50 of 139

LOL i love this topic!!

I dont have kids but! i do have a little brother and when I am out with him I watch him like a hawk! and i would never bring him to a shower of any kind!!

Now my story about kids that are not being watched is not to do with cakes but I have to tell!

Ok I have a little tea cup yorkie (the one in my picture) now he is my baby litterally! he has a little stroller for when we go shopping (you can laugh if you want) but i love it! anywho i was in a department store the other day and these two little kids probably 5 and 6ish are running around (no parents in sight!) and one of them comes right up to Winstons stroller (my puppies name) and just grabs him out of the stroller to play with him!!! I couldnt believe it!! First off how did those kids now that winston wasnt some mean little dog that was going to bite them. Whenever my brother see's a dog (big or small) he always ask's if its friendly before trying to pet it!

anywho theres my little rant!!

AverageMom Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 7:55pm
post #51 of 139

"I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests."

No, most parents don't do this, but there ARE parents who say "If you have it in reach, it's fair game". I have two kids (5 and 7) and I teach other ones all day long. If parents teach their children from birth to respect over people, these problems don't happen! My kids would never dare touch food that wasn't on their plates. And they know enough to respect the property of others!

chrissypie Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:19pm
post #52 of 139

As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.

margaretb Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:54pm
post #53 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker

Quote:
Originally Posted by margaretb

Quote:
Originally Posted by thecakemaker

I raised mine to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong.



Ah, well, there you go. I'm raising mine to be rude and evil.

Not really. Surprising as it may be, I am also aiming for polite and moral children.

Clearly, we have different ideas about appropriate behaviour. One person might feel that if a child has been told "no touch" and then touches, this is a rude child who does not know the difference between right and wrong. Another person might think that this is a child who still lacks impulse control, and that this is a behavioural issue, not a moral issue.

I can't imagine anyone in my family going to someone's house and saying, "have at 'er kids, it's all yours and if they didn't want you into it, they should have put it away before we came". But I also can't imagine anyone in my family inviting a family with young kids over and NOT doing what they could to make the visit more pleasant for their guests.




Sorry - I didn't realize you were turning this into a personal attack. If you feel the need to quote me - include the entire quote where I also say that my child isn't perfect. Also, don't put words into my mouth - I never said you were raising yours to be rude and evil. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean -




My apologies, the cakemaker. I will rephrase the first two paragraphs: "We all try to raise our children to be polite and to know the difference between right and wrong", which is what I meant but erroneously thought would be funnier said the other way.

I also apologize because you are right, it is getting too personal. I agree with you that the parent is responsible for the child. What I am trying to say is that EVEN THOUGH the parent is responsible for the chid, it is helpful to create an environment where it is easier for the child to behave (e.g. moving breakables out of the way). And probably in my head I have gotten you mixed up a little with my SIL's mother who, like you, does not allow her things to be moved, but UNLIKE YOU, INSISTS that the children visit her at her house (not for any compelling reason like a mobility issue -- the mother travels often enough to my SIL's city for pleasure, she just doesn't want to "waste" her city time at her daughter's house), and then is angry at the toddler and my SIL when the toddler acts like a toddler and touches things DESPITE my SIL's best efforts to prevent this. Clear as mud, I suppose.[/i]

Criola Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 8:58pm
post #54 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissypie

As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.




Chrissy:
I couldn't agree with you more. As a mother of 3 also...14,12 and 2 I can certainly understand. My 2 older ones were so good, and when I saw other kids act up I was always so quick to point the finger at the parent....until my 2 year old was born.....GOOD LORD....I lost count of how many times I've asked her not touch and she did anyway...how many times she stuck her little fingers in a cake I was working on despite the fact that she was just punished for touching it, when we are out I watch her like a hawk......REALITY IS you cannot contrl them at that age...once they pass 3 that's a different story...lol...I do firmly beleive that a babyshower is not a place for children, however not everyone has a babysitter.


Liz

margaretb Posted 19 Jun 2009 , 10:09pm
post #55 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrissypie

As a mom of an 8, 7 and just turned 3 year old, I feel like I am able to contribute to this discussion. It has taken me aback. I definitely know about these hippie dippie parents that are spoken of, the ones that let their little monsters do whatever they want for fear it will destroy their soul if they are disciplined. However, there is no mention of the parent, ( this would be me) who does her damndest all the time to discipline properly instill manners, explain why we have manners, why we don't touch what doesn't belong to us, respecting others things, other peoples home, etc. only to have the children completely ignore this while out. THe older ones are much better now, the little guy however... will be the death of me. And my daughters being 16 months apart, when they were toddlers it was a nightmare. It isn't always the parent, and if you have more than one, you can't be everywhere. I have too made a cake, spent hours on it, only to have my naughty son swipe his hand across the top of the icing. He certainly got punished, but I do not think it is anything I did to cause him to do this other than pick a bad spot for the cake. As did the person who put the belly cake in reach of small children. Kids do touch things they aren't supposed to, that is part of learning, exploring, so I believe things we don't want totally messed up, should be moved. My kids can be naughty, they were certainly destructive when they were small, but they are also very loving, very sweet and very intelligent. I like to think they got that from me as well. Not everyone has the neccessary skills to parent. I know I have felt at the end of my emotional tether at times. No one gives you a manual for kids, but they will tell you how to wipe their butts. No one tells you how to make a strong willed child listen, short of hitting them. And for those who choose not to hit, it is a matter of figuring out, painstakingly, what works. I too have gotten looks. But I will never judge another mother with a child that doesn't behave. No one WANTS bad kids. Just remember, that mom may have no support system. You can't know everyones circumstance. So if a kids runs into you at Walmart, why not think about someone other than yourself.




HEAR HEAR! Well said.

I was just at a store yesterday and my 1 year old was running around. He can get out of the safety strap on the cart seat, so the choices were: leave him in the vehicle (maybe in my own little small town but not in the city); leave him in the cart where he was constantly standing on the seat or else trying to climb out of the basket (tried it both ways - not good); let him walk and do my best to keep him in check (which we did for part of the time); or put him in the seat, hold onto one of his legs so that he couldn't stand up, and shop one handed with him crying and screaming (which we also did).

I hear you about the strong willed child, which my husband thinks he gets from me, but clearly he gets from his father. One time we were watching the crocodile hunter, and Steve Irwin had just caught some kind of poisonous snake and was going to look into a cave for another, so he handed it to his wife and said something like, "here you go, just keep her calm" and I always thought that although that was good advice, there certainly could have been a lot more said on the ways and means of keeping a snake calm when you've got it by the tail. I have often found that parenting advice takes the similar approach -- they make a great statement (BE FIRM, BE CONSISTENT, APPLY LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES), but I could do with a little more of "here is an example of the exact words you could use and actions you could take in such and such a situation".

Granted that some things are obviously bad (e.g. the kid who stole the money), sometimes bad is a matter of opinion. Sometimes after church we have a lunch. While we are getting ready, my kids and those from another family usually end up running up and down a small side hallway playing whatever and making noise. It drives one old lady batty, and I'm sure she is thinking "control your kids", but to me, these little 6 and under kids have just sat more or less quietly through a one hour service, they are out of the way, they are playing happily, they are watching out for the little kids and they are including everybody, and to me, that is absolutely appropriate behaviour and I am glad to see it.

Merrygold Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 4:24am
post #56 of 139

I just did two cakes and covered them with buttercream and chocolate paste flowers and ribbons, the first one I left to change and come back. When I got back ADULTS where pawing the ribbons and flowers!! So one even stuck a fork in the bc to see if it really was bc and not fondant. So I'm not sure why we expect kids to have manners when their parents don't!

margaretb Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 4:55am
post #57 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrygold

So I'm not sure why we expect kids to have manners when their parents don't!




No kidding. I go crazy when the kids have to take their boots off at the door at the school, but half the parents don't bother, so all the snow stuck in the treads of their boots melt all over the school and then the poor sock footed kids have to walk through the adults' puddles. GRRRR!

cutthecake Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 5:11am
post #58 of 139

And then there was the kid on Christmas Eve who picked the chocolate kisses off all of the peanut butter blossom cookies on the tray. Did I mention he was around 40 at the time? I wanted to slap him upside the head. His kids were well-behaved, though, thanks to the mother.

Annabakescakes Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 7:54pm
post #59 of 139

margaretb wrote-

"leave him in the vehicle (maybe in my own little small town but not in the city);"

PLEASE don't do this. I think you were joking, but someone else may not realize and may consider this an option!! We have had 3 deaths in the past 2 years in the Cincinnati area due to people leaving kids in the car. 2 mothers and 1 gramma, 2 dead babies 1 dead toddler. Can you even imagine? I'd wanna die too.

Much easier to let the unwashed masses criticize while the kids scream, chances are it won't be to your face anyways!! You just do your best, people don't know what you go through, or just tell them your babysitting and you own kids are very well behaved!!!

Annabakescakes Posted 20 Jun 2009 , 7:58pm
post #60 of 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by cutthecake

And then there was the kid on Christmas Eve who picked the chocolate kisses off all of the peanut butter blossom cookies on the tray. Did I mention he was around 40 at the time? I wanted to slap him upside the head. His kids were well-behaved, though, thanks to the mother.




OMG!!! Lemonade almost shot out my nose when I read that! I'd have had to at least stand there with my "I'm gonna kill you when no one is looking" face.

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