I am so frustrated at work. I graduated from college last May, and got a job in November in captive insurance accounting (highly specialized field of insurance). Well, I love my job, with the exception of one woman. No matter what I do, I am wrong. She says she is trying to show me not that I've done things wrong, just not how she wants them done.

I went over to her house after work just now to pick up a loaner lawn chair, and she decided to let me know just how much the client hates my work, and can't stand having new people on the job. Also, that they've never seen anyone make so many mistakes. I'm sorry, but how can I know that I'm doing stuff wrong unless someone tells me. I'm not allowed to send an email to the client without her seeing it first, even if it's the simplest answer. I basically feel that I can't do anything right, and that my efforts aren't appreciated.

I'm thinking of going to her manager (also the lead on this particular account) and offering to take myself off of the account. The client won't be happy, as there has been alot of turnover, but if I seemingly can't do anything right, then why should I go home every night and beat myself up (figuratively) for not being good enough.

It's not like this is the only problem at work, too. Since moving to take this job, I have tried to make friends, but I'm told by all the other singles in the hip crowd that their "group is full". WTF???

I am really feeling all alone and frustrated at work right now, I just wish I knew how to deal.....

I shared this with my hubby because he and I have both been in mgmt and he's worked a few years in HR. His first question is, "Is this woman a co-worker or does she have some kind of authority ... like REAL authority ... over you?

We think it sounds like she is the problem with the high turnover. It's not that anyone cant' work the account, it's that they can't work with HER. Hubby and I agree that you need to talk to the manager. Explain in a calm and non-judgmental way that you've been told the client is unhappy with your mistakes, but no one has told you about any mistakes so how can you learn from that? Calmly suggest that this person seems to have a particular way SHE wants things done and since you're not a mind-reader, you are frustrated with trying to figure out how she wants it done instead of how the company wants it done. YOu love your job but because the stress may be affecting the client, perhaps you could transfer to another account while you learned the ropes.

We think she has job-insecurity and tries to set things up so upper mgmt will think "good 'ole sally! what would we do without her?"

It's a good lesson to learn as you enter the job market right out of college .... every company has one of these types and we've all had to learn how to deal with them.

Debi, "thank you" to you and your husband. I know I can always count on your sense of sensibility.

She does have some authority over me. We are set up that each client has one accountant (me), one account manager (her) and one team leader, who on this case also happens to be her personnel manager (ie hiring, reviews, etc.), but is not my personnel manager. There have been times where I have been told by the team leader to do something for the client, only to have her come back and say that I should have gone back to her for permission or review prior to sending, even with the team leaders permission. She came on this account at the same time as me, so I can attest to the fact that she is not the reason behind the turnover.

On other clients, I am gaining many new skills, and have been brought on board for projects unheard of for someone of my level (that are normally reserved for those with much more experience). It is only this client manager that is the issue.

I hate to have a "personality conflict" that could jeopardize my position at work, but I do feel that the friction is causing a negative effect on the client, and that is of utmost importance.

My first job out of college there was a woman like this at my work. She was insanely jealous of any woman who came in, and did her very best to manipulate the boss into hating all these people, and even got them fired.
Looking back, I wish I had been strong enough to stand up to her and put a stop to it. But I wasn't and let myself be miserable. I would speak to her first, firmly and strongly, and then if it doesn't go well, go to the boss.

I agree with officermorgan. I think if you go over her head first it could backfire and make things worse.

People like her need to be handled with a lot of tact. Ask if you can speak to her in private and lay all your concerns out on the table, just like you did here. If you get nowhere with her then you need to go to the next level of management.

At least if you speak to her first, she won't accuse you of going behind her back to her boss, which she could interpret as you trying to get her in trouble.

If she were just a co-worker with no authority over you at all then going to management first would be the way to handle it.

Good luck!