Shoule I Make A Cake For Funeral

Decorating By ninatat Updated 19 Jun 2009 , 1:15pm by pbeckwith

ninatat Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 5:52pm
post #1 of 38

Hi all, my neighbors sister passed away, would a cake be approiate sp. and what would you suggest.
Thank you

37 replies
diane Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 10:53pm
post #2 of 38

i would make a cake, but not the kind that you decorate...like a coconut cake or bundt cake etc. icon_wink.gif

cakes-r-us Posted 10 Jun 2009 , 3:40am
post #3 of 38

I just made a cake for funeral. the daughter wanted her mom's picture on cake, so i did. then i wrote the wording from the card onto the cake, then centered a single flower above the writing the daughter really liked it. forgot to take picture of it. and it was kinda weird

shelbur10 Posted 10 Jun 2009 , 3:47am
post #4 of 38

If you decorate it, I would do it very simply. Maybe just some flowers, no message. It's hard not to say the wrong thing sometimes.

auntmamie Posted 10 Jun 2009 , 3:53am
post #5 of 38

I agree with diane - a very simple, everyday type of cake. I know that, with all the rich casseroles, I would love a piece of simple pound cake with a strawberry sauce on top rather than a heavy decorated cake

Rylan Posted 10 Jun 2009 , 4:05am
post #6 of 38

I would make a caka a basket full of flower kind of cake.

ninatat Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 3:52pm
post #7 of 38

thanks all for your idea's i didn't get this answer in my e-mail, do you think it's because of the updates?

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:00pm
post #8 of 38

I would keep it super simple. Plain iced with maybe one calla lily in the center. It's not something you want people gushing over, you want it to go fairly unnoticed.

sweetiesbykim Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:07pm
post #9 of 38

I just made my first cake for a funeral luncheon this week. I asked if a sheet cake was OK (as I didn't have time to layer, torte, level, etc., but I usually don't do sheet cakes), and she said they are just cutting and serving, so yes.

I made a yellow butter cake in a pan deeper and larger than a 9X13 (she wanted 30+ servings), frosted with my vanilla SMBC, and topped with fresh sliced strawberries in a little syrup. I made large tip borders on top and bottom, and then sprinkled a little white/clear glitter on the top borders. Pretty easy, a generally liked flavor, and looked nice as a whole cake to deliver. The kitchen ladies at the church said it was pretty, probably the only ones that saw it uncut. icon_smile.gif

Bluehue Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:22pm
post #10 of 38

I view this different to most of the other posts...
Altho it is such a saddened time - i view that i was privileged to of had *that* person walk into my life and that i was able to meet them - and because of that reason i think if it was me - i would do a cake that had flowers in the persons favourite colour -
Purples are the colour of rememberance and instead of a sad cake sitting there - i would do something to bring a smile (as difficult as it is) to those at the gathering.

Nothing huge and tacky - but perhaps speak to your neighbour and ask what her sisters favourite colour was - i am sure that she would look at it and smile - knowing that her sister would of loved it....can you do a cake to look like a bowl of flowers - or even as RylanTy suggested - that would look beautiful. and be very fitting.

The day will be sad enough - so if you can bring some joy and a smile to the family and fiends - i think they would be warmed by your kindness.

Bluehue. icon_smile.gif

Ruth0209 Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:29pm
post #11 of 38

I don't like words on cakes very much, but I have put "In Loving Memory" on a cake I did for a funeral.

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:40pm
post #12 of 38

Sorry I have to disagree. I have been to my share of funerals (mother, father, sister-and I'm not all that old) I would be hurt if a bunch of people were gathered around a cake gushing about how pretty the cake turned out. The day isn't about the cake. Unless it is something the family specifically asked for, I would keep it simple and low profile. I mean it doesn't have to be a ugly cake . I like the purple flower for rememberance idea, but I wouldn't do a basket of flowers, just a few on top.

handymama Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:44pm
post #13 of 38

I did a funeral cake as a gift and the family was deeply touched and grateful because the cake itself honored the person who had passed. If I did it right, here's a photo of the cake.

http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1339065

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:50pm
post #14 of 38

handymama that is a very nice cake.

Bluehue Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 4:55pm
post #15 of 38

We all view thing differently in tinygoose and i am sure that ninatat wouldn't go against her neighbours wishes.

I for one wouldn't think anyone would *gush* over a cake at a gathering after a funeral - but in a quiet way it may bring a smile to someones saddened face.

A very dear frined of mine did such a thing for me when i said goodbye to my daughter - and it indeed brought a smile to my face through the many tears. I was so gald to have that moment to smile - the day was long and sad enough.

I still believe it a gesture of kindness.

handymama - i think your cake looks lovely icon_smile.gif

Bluehue.

miny Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:00pm
post #16 of 38

Now, that is a beautiful, classy and low key cake Handymama. Very appropiate for any funeral.

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:23pm
post #17 of 38

I'm very sorry about your daughter Bluehue. I'm sorry, I guess I'm just oversensitive when it comes to funerals. My moms funeral was one of the hardest days of my life, I was 16, and it's surprising what people say within earshot of a child. "I bet she got breast cancer because she had children so late in life." I'm the youngest of three.

mbt4955 Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:33pm
post #18 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluehue

We all view thing differently ... in a quiet way it may bring a smile to someones saddened face ... I was so gald to have that moment to smile - the day was long and sad enough. I still believe it a gesture of kindness. Bluehue.




Bluehue, I felt something when I read your first post. When I read your second one, I knew what it was and I'm very sorry for your loss. Josh 7/15/83-10/19/98.

Losing someone you love is a horrible thing to go through and I am in total agreement wiht Bluehue. I can't tell you what a single person brought us after my son died, but it was all plain old food. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated every single gesture, but if someone had gone out of their way to honor Josh, it would have meant a lot to me.

ninatat, when your neighbor sees what you did to honor her sister, it will bring a small bit of comfort to her. If you can't or aren't comfortable asking her what her sister would have liked, just make it pretty. When you take it over, tell her that you tried to make something that would honor her sister.

honeyscakes Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:35pm
post #19 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinygoose

I'm very sorry about your daughter Bluehue. I'm sorry, I guess I'm just oversensitive when it comes to funerals. My moms funeral was one of the hardest days of my life, I was 16, and it's surprising what people say within earshot of a child. "I bet she got breast cancer because she had children so late in life." I'm the youngest of three.




Tinygoose and bluehue HUGS icon_sad.gif
we are all here for you!

goof9j Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:45pm
post #20 of 38

I made a cake for my best friend when she passed. It said

"Gina

We Celebrate your Life" nice simple and true.

HTH

Jen

sweetiesbykim Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:52pm
post #21 of 38

Just a personal opinion, but I don't like the portrait/picture image cakes, especially for a funeral luncheon. In all seriousness, I don't think I'd like to get a slice on my plate with my loved one's image if I were grieving at the time. Just my opinion.

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:01pm
post #22 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetiesbykim

Just a personal opinion, but I don't like the portrait/picture image cakes, especially for a funeral luncheon. In all seriousness, I don't think I'd like to get a slice on my plate with my loved one's image if I were grieving at the time. Just my opinion.




Ahh...this one gave me a chuckle...thanks sweetiebykim...I needed that. "Here have a slice of Uncle Joe."

(Thanks Honeyscakes)

Bluehue Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:08pm
post #23 of 38

Thankyou ladies for your kind heartfelt words - but i must be honest - it has been many years now and altho time heals - we never forget or miss them and wish we could hold them just one more time.

mbt4955 - how very wise of you to see what i didn't type - icon_smile.gif Have to say also - i thought the ham and onion sandwhiches someone brought were rather sad - (i know, thats not a very charming thing to say) - but they didn't put a smile on my face at all... but i was gracious enough at the time to say thankyou - even when the person said - "oh i didn't know what to bring - so i just threw them together" - oddly enough i laugh at that, even as i type it -
I mean - who *throws* something together for a funeral - icon_confused.gif


Ohhhh tinygoose - how tragic for you to loose your mum at such a young age - such sorrow would never pass i don' think. icon_sad.gif
That pain i have never felt.
I am 54 and altho many miles away so lucky that i still have both parents -very fit and healthy.

Its such a sensetive subject - and its true, noone ever knows what lies behind our written words - we come here as *cakers or cookies* and laugh and learn so much - yet sometimes we forget that others carry such sadness....yet they still type such helpful bits of information.

I apologise tinygoose - i haven't walked a mile in your shoes - and i can only guess at the sorrow you carry....such a woefull thing for you to hear the day you said goodbye to your mother..... icon_sad.gif

Maybe it comes with age my view on this subject.... i really don't know - but i do hope that someone makes a cake for me - and that if that someone does - then they will know that many many many blue flowers on a cake would make those left behind smile.....and say - "Oh if only Bluehue was here to see that - she would love it." icon_smile.gif

But for now - tender thoughts to all of you who feel such sorrow.

Bluehue.

Ruth0209 Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:10pm
post #24 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by handymama

I did a funeral cake as a gift and the family was deeply touched and grateful because the cake itself honored the person who had passed. If I did it right, here's a photo of the cake.

http://cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=1339065




That cake is lovely and just the right tone. Very nice.

Ladiesofthehouse Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:22pm
post #25 of 38

I like the idea of a special cake, especially a beautifully executed basket weave cake with flowers in the favorite colors of the sister. I can't imagine people gushing over the cake as much as people appreciating the extra effort and caring that went into making it special and beautiful in that person's memory.

I put together the funeral arrangements for our close friend's 18 year old grand son that died from an accidental overdose while his friends partied on in the next room. It was so sad and I remember the one thing that really struck them was a picture that someone had put into a simple homemade frame of Jesus welcoming a teen age boy into Heaven with a hug. This was placed beside his eulogy and a beautifully decorated cake with no words on it. Sometimes words just mess everything up, no matter how much you try to say the right thing at a funeral.

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 7:17pm
post #26 of 38

Oh Bluehue, you don't need to apologise to me. See PM.

Unlimited Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 8:47pm
post #27 of 38

If you have the time to bake a cake for your neighbor before the funeral, I'm certain she would appreciate it. It shows how much you really care by taking the time to do something... anything that's special and from the heart.

Sadly, I'm leaving for a funeral right now for the best man that was in our wedding. He's been fighting some form of cancer for years even though he was told he only had months to live. His birthday was Sunday (7th), so I made a tiny cake for him last Friday for his wife to bring to the hospital. She called to thank me for helping to make his last birthday a special one... he passed away two days after his birthday on the 9th. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to do something special for him while he was still with us... she said he really enjoyed the cake.

Barb00 Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 11:13pm
post #28 of 38

handymama: that is a very tasteful, appropriate cake

chellescountrycakes Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 11:28pm
post #29 of 38

If you are not comfertable with flowers, or words, just plainly ice a cake, with a soft color, then use your impression mat or paper towell with design on it and give it a slight 'touch' to give it a little something.

Since I cant make flowers, thats what I would do. I did it for a cemetary working the other day. (its actually a festive occasion, a business meeting and a 'homecoming' all at one time, plus we clean the small community cemetary that goes back many many generations).

People thought it was very nice and were impressed by the time I spent putting the design in it.

Till one of my kids said "yep, I was impressed too till I fiqured out it looks just like them napkins she brought"

They dont keep trade secrets well.... LOL

But, if you dont feel like 'decorating' but dont want it to be just plain, try that. understated and quiet, but looks detailed and like it was done with love.

7yyrt Posted 13 Jun 2009 , 8:39pm
post #30 of 38

Ninatat, if you want notices when you start a thread, you need to click 'Watch this topic for replies'.

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