Friends Making It Akward For Me

Decorating By Peachiekeen Updated 15 Jun 2009 , 12:57pm by Irish245

Peachiekeen Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 4:05am
post #1 of 21

I have been friends with these people for only like 6 months now, but we are already close friends. They got engaged a few months ago, and he asked me to make a cake to surprise her. I had some leftover batter so I made one (literally called at 1030pm to started at 11pm). He says oh, I'll hook you up when you get here, so I thought that meant he would pay me, right? NO. No money for me.
So he calls me today asking for a baby shower cake in two weeks. It needs to feed 20 people, and I don't want to make a $70+ cake for free. How do I handle this situation? I already told him I wasn't busy that week, before he asked for the cake.
I don't want to seem rude, he is getting my husband some side work from his dad, but I don't want to be taken advantage of. What can I say that won't affect our friendship? I feel awful that he even put me in this situation. Thank you for reading this.

20 replies
Texas_Rose Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 4:09am
post #2 of 21

Just call back, say that you wanted to verify the date for the cake, and that, by the way, you'll do it for ____ amount because they're such good friends. (even if it's your regular price) Most people would like to have a free source of unlimited cake, but once they realize that they've got to pay, they quit thinking of cake for every occasion.

It's nice that he's getting your husband some side work, but if all of your husband's extra earning go to buy cake ingredients, then it's kind of pointless.

adven68 Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 5:31am
post #3 of 21

I would call to verify some random detail and then, "oh. BTW..please don't mention to anyone that I'm charging you only $70....I don't want them to think that's the regular price."

I know it's awkward, but business is business!!

bakermommy4 Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 5:46am
post #4 of 21
Originally Posted by adven68

I would call to verify some random detail and then, "oh. BTW..please don't mention to anyone that I'm charging you only $70....I don't want them to think that's the regular price."

I know it's awkward, but business is business!!

Perfectly said thumbs_up.gif

AKA_cupcakeshoppe Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 5:54am
post #5 of 21

yeah assume the sale icon_smile.gif

Rylan Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 4:02pm
post #6 of 21

You girls have great excuses!

Peachiekeen Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 7:44pm
post #7 of 21

Thanks for the advise, I will have to call them today. To top it all off, the shower was supposed to be in July, and apparently they moved it to 2 weeks from now. They never even told me, so that just makes it weirder b/c they ask for a cake but I haven't even been invited (unless of course the invite is in the mail.)

mackeymom Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 3:32pm
post #8 of 21
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

It's nice that he's getting your husband some side work, but if all of your husband's extra earning go to buy cake ingredients, then it's kind of pointless.

YES!!! I had this happen to me!

cakesbydina Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 11:15am
post #9 of 21

I have made cake trades before. it works if you trade is even. But, we are all in this to make a living (most of us anyway). I wouldn't let it go because once a free cake always a free cake in the minds of the recipient. Great advice on here. Nip it in the butt now or you'll be sorry. I think we have all been there. Good luck

indydebi Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 1:55pm
post #10 of 21
Originally Posted by Peachiekeen

I already told him I wasn't busy that week, before he asked for the cake.

I never answer this question before I find out what's up. I refuse to be set up like that.

Suggested responses to "Are you busy next weekend?"
- I'll have to check my calendar ..... why?
- I'm busy EVERY weekend.
- I'm out of town that day.
- Until I know what you want, then yes, I'm busy.

My husband does that to people it just ticks me off!!! icon_mad.gif I've tried to tell him, "Give them an idea of what you're looking for, like 'I'm planting trees next weekend, are you busy?' or 'I've got an extra ticket to the game, are you busy?' DON'T put people in a position to have to be uncomfortable and have to hem and haw around you!"

Geesh, I just HATE that!

kandu001 Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 5:05pm
post #11 of 21

When someone asks if I'm busy, I always say "why" before I answer. Also, I agree with other posters; call him and say that you're double checking what he wants for the cake and "remind" him of the price. Maybe you even can tell him that he needs to pay ahead of time so that you don't have to front the money for supplies..... Good Luck!

mixinvixen Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 5:33pm
post #12 of 21

i have some "friends" like that who seem to be very friendly until they realize no more free cake or samples...or until they realize i've caught on to the fact that they've had several parties i've never been invited to.

although i'm slow and it might take a bit for me to catch on, i AM, in fact, a red head, and can keep a mean grudge!!!!!!!!!!!

for my real friends, i can't seem to help myself...i want to go out of the way and give them something special...because i know they don't expect me to do it!!

kandu001 Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 5:40pm
post #13 of 21

Since I don't sell cakes, I have to admit that some of my cakes are made because I truely want to and some are "oh, can you make me a cake" and I can't say no. My most recent wedding cake photo was for my hubby's cousin and she never even said thank you. It fed like 150 people, I spent hundreds on it and never got a thank you. For our wedding, they gave us a $25 gift card to Target. It's not about the gift, I just wanted to show how it compares. I need to grow a back bone and say "NO!!!!!" when I'm taken advantage of and I know it!

jillmakescakes Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 7:58pm
post #14 of 21

There is nothing wrong with saying "While its difficult for me to bring this up, I just can't afford to make the cake for free. The cake is going to cost $XX.XX" You can also offer a discount (if you are so inclined) if they give you artistic license. This might help you keep costs down, while not having to stress about meeting specific design criteria. Also, if you want to try something a little extra, you know that you can, but you will have to eat that cost, although not as much if you were just making a practice cake.

tinygoose Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 8:21pm
post #15 of 21

Does he know that you sell cakes? I know it shouldn't matter, but people really are clueless in this dept. He may even think he's doing you a favor, rediculous, you know so you can futher the craft. People have no idea, really. I don't know if I would do the assumed close.

I would ask if he had a budget in mind for the cake, and that the cake you were planning on runs about $90 regularly (or whatever it is), although you can give him the 20% off, friend/family discount. (big pause here-let him talk) That way he has an out if he wants one.

just my .02 worth. good luck.

CakeForte Posted 14 Jun 2009 , 9:01pm
post #16 of 21

My friends have asked me if I could make cakes and I've said no, a lot. When I OFFER to bring cake, I never decorate it all fancy like the ones on my web site. They get old school cake in a pyrex glass, with the foil on top. You know what I'm talking I use the same recipes, but I don't go all out. That takes hours!

They know I make good money doing what I do, so until they pay me, that's what they get. The ones that have paid me....well they get the fancy cake.

kandu001 Posted 15 Jun 2009 , 12:24am
post #17 of 21

Sounds good to me CakeForte! I wish I could say NO to people! I haven't learned that skill yet.

bbmom Posted 15 Jun 2009 , 12:31am
post #18 of 21

First an engagement cake, now baby shower, then you'll need a welcome baby, at some point(one would assume) a wedding cake, then babies first need to nip this in the bud and make sure they know you SELL cakes.

jlynnw Posted 15 Jun 2009 , 12:53am
post #19 of 21

speak now before you lose it and wreck the friendship totally. After a while this friendship will just be you getting taken advantage of and you will speak the whole truth and not be able to take the words back.

Bellatheball Posted 15 Jun 2009 , 3:06am
post #20 of 21

I'm always suspect of anyone who says they'll "hook me up." I'm never quite sure what "hook you up" equates to in US dollars (or even Euros for that matter).

Irish245 Posted 15 Jun 2009 , 12:57pm
post #21 of 21

I'm sick of my husband's family asking if I'm busy on so-and-so day and when I say I'mnot, they tell me they are having ...whatever they are having...and then they say..."oh, and can you bring a cake?"...grrrrrr

I've learned to not say anything until they tell me what the party/get-together is. I just say now, "I'll talk to hubby and get back to you."

His niece is getting married this year and I told her, after changing her date 2 times, to make sure she gets with me to discuss her cake early because I get booked early. She didn't of course so I had to tell her I was booked when she finally gave me her wedding date. Now I get an email from her mother (my sis-in-law), asking if I can make cookies for the wedding. Now if I can't make her wedding cake, I surely can't make cookies!!! Duh! I did cookies last year for another wedding in the family, along with other sister-in-laws and after the wedding, the sister-in-laws actually took all the leftover cookies home to freeze for sometime they have a get-together. When they asked me if they could take mine, I told them they would have to ask the bride and groom because they were now considered theirs....jeeze!! Hubby and I now go to very few of his family functions. We're tired of giving and giving and never even getting thank you notes! We're just so over his family!

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