I Think I May Have Lost A Friend Over A Cake Today...

Decorating By Madiken Updated 12 Jun 2009 , 1:02pm by Lita829

Madiken Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 10:50pm
post #1 of 32

I have recently started making cakes for family and friends for a little more than the cost of supplies to get some extra practice in. A friend of mine had asked me to make a cake for her husband for last Monday. We agreed on the design etc. and she called on Saturday to change the day she wanted the cake to Wednesday. This was fine. On Tuesday, she called to say that "my friend ----- is having a party for my husband next Saturday instead so don't worry about the cake". Now, I took this to mean that she no longer needs the cake. She calls me today(Friday) and says "so, did you forget about tomorrow?" I said "apparently because I have no idea what you are talking about." She then tried to tell me that she asked me to make her this cake for tomorrow. I told her that there is no way that I agreed to that because I have way too many other cakes for this weekend for me to handle another one. She insisted and got angry. I apologized for the miscommunication but I told her there was no way I could possibly do the cake. ( I will already be up half the night finishing the others I have) She said "the only miscommunication is that you don't listen". Wow!

This has been bugging me all day. Why, if I was supposed to be making a cake for her would she open up a conversation with "did you forget about tomorrow?" I would think she would call and ask what time she should pick up the cake or something like that. Am I crazy or is she trying to get a last minute cake out of me by making me feel guilty for something that is not my fault?

Oh, by the way, she ended the conversation with "I'm not just gonna let this go!" YIKES!!

Anyway, gotta get back to the cakes. Thanks for listening!

31 replies
cakesbycathy Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 10:59pm
post #2 of 32

Well let's start with the fact that this woman is not really your friend.

I agree with your suspicions that she was trying to guilt trip you into a free cake. Good for you for sticking to your guns. I would decline any and all future orders from her.

As far as her parting shot, when she brings the whole thing up again (which you know she will), you could try ignoring it (which I'm betting will be difficult) or just smile sweetly and tell her you've decided that from now on you're only making cakes for people who treat you with respect. Then walk away from her (or hang up the phone or whatever).

Good luck with this weekend's cakes icon_smile.gif

tiawanna02 Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:00pm
post #3 of 32

I don't think you're wrong for not making the cake. She told you that she didn't need it and thats not your fault for her forget that she told you that. Maybe she's under alot of stress, so don't take it personal. she'll come around, if not that's her lost.

3GCakes Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:02pm
post #4 of 32

It's difficult...when you start making cakes for "family and friends"...because the lines will always be blurry.

You did ok. You apologized for the miscommunication. Many people would have had the cake done by the time she called and "re-arranged" the first time.

Do what you can. It's not your fault. You can't sacrifice your family life, time, and finances for someone who can't plan accordingly.

You didn't lose a friend...you lost someone who apparently thought you could pull cakes at any moment from a place the sun don't shine....and wants to blame you when you can't.

mombabytiger Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:03pm
post #5 of 32

Friend? I don't think so.

I would smile sweetly and thank her for confirming your decision never to bake for friends again.

Then sneak into her house and put raw shrimp in her curtain rods.

OfficerMorgan Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:07pm
post #6 of 32

She isn't a friend. She's an idiot. Not your problem she was too stupid to tell you the correct date. Drop her like a hot, ie crazy, potato.

Edited to add: I looked through your cake photos, and girl! You don't need people like her! You are good at this and could have real, actual clients who actually book and pick up their cakes and PAY you. thumbs_up.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:08pm
post #7 of 32

Yep...see ya sister, don't let the door hit your sorry a** on the way out!

Misdawn Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:17pm
post #8 of 32

I agree with everyone else, she is not a friend. And I have learned in the future when someone "calls back", I ask them specific questions to clarify everything. Like I would have said (the second time when she said someone else is throwing the party), "So you don't need me to make the cake? Are you sure?" It's not in writing but at least it might stick in her memory better and you will DEFINITELY know that you did nothing wrong.

jamiekwebb Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:19pm
post #9 of 32

Shoot, don't you just hate it when people act like morons

Texas_Rose Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:22pm
post #10 of 32

There are a lot of people who seem to be friends until you tell them no for something. It sounds bad, but that's the way people are. At the last place I lived, I had tons of friends...but I had people knocking on my door all day long. My groceries, art supplies, toilet paper and laundry soap practically flew out of the house, and I had to buy a sectional couch because I always had so many kids in the house (came to play with my kids, also known as Judi providing free babysitting all the time). Then I ran into a personal emergency and couldn't afford to supply the neighborhood with everything they wanted, and all of my so-called friends disappeared. It was really upsetting...but I've learned to value my time and energy too much to give them away to people who pretend to be a friend.

Anyhow, there used to be a joke going around the forum, about people who expected you to be able to PACOOYA at the last moment....not an acronym on the official list but one that might cheer you up a bit...it starts out "pull a cake out of..."

blondeez Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:37pm
post #11 of 32

My mom always says that you can count your true friends on one hand. Sorry this happened to you but like everyone else you are completely right for not doing the cake especially cause you are so busy. Tell her Walmart has some lovely sheet cakes in the case if she needs a cake badly enough. Her hubby will just have to deal with the cartoon kit on top.LOL

mkolmar Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 11:56pm
post #12 of 32

That is no friend. A true friend would understand and offer to help wash dishes since your so busy.

Misdawn Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 12:26am
post #13 of 32

It's a little late, but happy birthday Mkolmar!

indydebi Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 12:41am
post #14 of 32

Ok, if I have this straight .... she gets her cakes practically for free, she tells you "dont' worry about the cake" and then she's pi$$ed because you DIDN'T worry about the cake??? And SHE'S not going to let it go????

Whatta b*tch! Tell to take you to court. Tell her PLEASE take you to court. BEG her to take you to court! Because ".....then I'll have it on an official record what a dumba$$ you are!"

Lori17201 Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 12:42am
post #15 of 32

If she brings it up, just hold up you hand and say "I thought you said not to worry about the cake, so I'm not. It's over and done, end of conversation." Then don't discuss it further. If you feed it, it stays and gnaws on the bones.

bourbs Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 12:56am
post #16 of 32

Yep, that would be me. if it was brought up again, I would simply say, I'm done with it. End of conversation.

I agree with the others too, this fool is no friend, you didn't lose a good friend, she did. If she asks for another, tell her cakes for friends cause too many problems and say sweetly, it's just not worth losing a friend over a cake, but truly dear, toss her to the side. I so agree with one lady that said a true friend would have offered to come help wash dishes, not give you more grief.

Lita829 Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 1:01am
post #17 of 32

Blondeez is soooo right...You can count your real friends on one hand and, apparently, SHE is NOT one of them. From reading your initial post, I thought she was telling you NOT to make the cake. I thought she was saying that her other friend, who was throwing the party, was going to handle everything.

If this was a miscommunication, it wasn't you who miscommunicated. If she still wanted the cake, she should have told you so.

If YOU still value her friendship, let her simmer down. If she doesn't and keeps throwing it in your face....kick her to the curb! God knows, I've kicked a fair amount of people to the curb who I thought were my friends but turned out NOT to be.

kylekaitlyn Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 2:34am
post #18 of 32

As the saying goes, "With friends like that, who needs enemies?" She clearly implied she did not need a cake. She knew it too. I'll bet the person throwing the party said something to the effect of "and you have someone who is making the cake..." Oh, no I don't ... Now what??? I know... I'll pass the buck.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...PEOPLE S*CK!

Madiken Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 3:51am
post #19 of 32

Wow! I just took a break from the cakes and decided to log on. I am so amazed at the sympathy and support from everyone here! Thank-You so much. I am a person who has a really hard time saying no so this was a huge step to stand up for myself. You are all right too! She certainly isn't much of a friend.

Have a TERRIFIC weekend everyone! Because of you all, I will definitely have one too!

miss-tiff Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 5:40am
post #20 of 32

Even if you had agreed to make a cake for next to nothing, and had forgotten, a true friend (or even decent human) would be a tad nicer about it.

If she really won't let it go, make her a cake. Spit in it, and write "You suck" in flowery letters. Shrug and say, "I couldn't let it go, either!" icon_twisted.gif

marmalade1687 Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 12:25pm
post #21 of 32

If you have trouble saying no, you have to start learning how! icon_rolleyes.gif Stand in front of the mirror and say 10 times "What part of NO do you not understand, the N or the O part?". With practice, it will come more naturally! icon_wink.gificon_lol.gif

floridagal Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 1:17pm
post #22 of 32

People can be so selfish. Did you ever think you would learn so much a bout people just from decorating cakes!?!

I really liked a couple of the suggestions - raw shrimp in the curtain rods, and the lovely cake with the extra 'ingredient' and the nice sentiment!icon_lol.gif I think you could combine both, deliver the cake and the shrimp at the same time!!


-K8memphis Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 1:50pm
post #23 of 32

Indy made me laugh!! Too funny.

But yes to everything already posted.

It sounded like someone was providing the party and the cake so she cancelled w/you then the donors backed out and she's stuck.

But I mean wth gonna threaten you about a cake--that she's not gonna let this go? Geez louise. I mean what is there to hang onto?

She's got her ego wrapped up in this somehow--weird.

Deb_ Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 6:08pm
post #24 of 32

What is she going to get the "cake mafia" after you? She's probably PMS'ing or something...........bake her a cake with Midol in it just for her! icon_lol.gif

Lita829 Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 6:25pm
post #25 of 32

LOL...you all are brutal...but funny! icon_lol.gif

Just kick her and her friendship to the curb...you don't need the drama.

Carolynlovescake Posted 6 Jun 2009 , 9:18pm
post #26 of 32
Originally Posted by mombabytiger

Then sneak into her house and put raw shrimp in her curtain rods.

I love it! Bad, mean and awful but I love it!

Madiken Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 5:47am
post #27 of 32

So, for those of you who are interested..... I ran into her last night. She acted as if NOTHING happened. Therefore, so did I. I was really quite blown away. She waved to me and came over and started chatting like the whole situation never happened. BIZARRE.

Ruth0209 Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:03am
post #28 of 32
Originally Posted by Madiken

So, for those of you who are interested..... I ran into her last night. She acted as if NOTHING happened. Therefore, so did I. I was really quite blown away. She waved to me and came over and started chatting like the whole situation never happened. BIZARRE.

I think I hate that even more than a confrontation. She's realized that she acted like an idiot and rather than act like an adult woman and apologize, she just acts like nothing happened and expects you to do the same so SHE won't be any more embarrassed.

A real friend/mature adult would have said, "Look, I was so out of line when I yelled at you. I was surprised and upset, and I'm really sorry. Will you forgive me?" What an emotional coward.

tinygoose Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 6:04am
post #29 of 32
Originally Posted by Madiken

So, for those of you who are interested..... I ran into her last night. She acted as if NOTHING happened. Therefore, so did I. I was really quite blown away. She waved to me and came over and started chatting like the whole situation never happened. BIZARRE.

lol...I know people like this...it's called untreated bi-polar, I think. icon_smile.gif

SugarFrosted Posted 12 Jun 2009 , 7:12am
post #30 of 32

maybe she was off her meds the day icon_wink.gif

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