Vent:dh Ex Wife/twilight Cake Due

Decorating By alvarezmom Updated 8 Jun 2009 , 4:02pm by Lita829

Eisskween Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Eisskween Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 6:09pm
post #31 of 38

Calling the police was a good idea. Threats of that nature are not to be taken lightly. This is, at the very least, a clear cut case of harassment.

If the children live with you, you have every right to discipline them. She sounds like a bitter old harpee. Let the police handle it and you just relax and enjoy doing your cake.

I wish I lived closer to you, I'd stand at your door waiting for her to show. I have a lot of pent up frustration and kicking someone's ass sounds fun right about now. icon_wink.gif

Enjoy your day and try not to let a jackass like her get to you. She sounds like an attention whore.

alvarezmom Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
alvarezmom Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 6:17pm
post #32 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiggy2

If it's an emergency she can send the cops to your door. Quit answering the phone or quite complaining. My daughter does the same thing with her ex's new wife. The woman is a nut job yet my daughter continues to try and reason with her. I quit feeling sorry for her a long time ago. She knows who's calling but she can't wait to answer the phone.




Your right. I mainly try for the kids. My oldest has made her own mind up about this. I support her for making a very hard choice that she should never have had to made.

DSS on the other hand. He's a much harder case. He does want her in his life. He wants to feel like she cares. When we were going through court and all a child ad litiem (sp) told me not to tell him the truth about his mom. She said not to tell him that Bio mom doesnt call or write because it would be more harmful to him. I knew I should tell him the truth but I did what I was told. I think that is another reason why I am in the spot. I listened to some one who was supposed to have his best interest first and it looks like it just made it worse on him. The lady told me to back off and I did.

majormichel Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
majormichel Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 6:29pm
post #33 of 38

You need to talk to the kids and tell them that Bio mom is a very difficulty woman and you have tried to reason with but was unsuccessfull. Bio mon should not be your problem. Get the RO and move on with your lives. Its not the kids fault that Bio mom have issues. Please dont make the kids be in contact with Bio mom, in their time they will deal wit the situation it may take years, each child is different. Your job now is to show love and teach them how to love as well.

MichelleM77 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
MichelleM77 Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 6:30pm
post #34 of 38

I'm sorry you are going through this.

So you have all of this documented, but do you have anything taped? I would be afraid that your written documentation of what she says to you would be your word against her's, so stop answering the phone and let her leave a message. I don't think that would be any violation since she knows she is being taped on voicemail/answering machine. Don't put yourself through anymore than you have to. Stop answering the phone! You have done all that you can. It sounds like you are a great mom to the kids and you need to put all your energy and love into that, not dealing with your DH ex. Let him deal with her.

alvarezmom Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
alvarezmom Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 6:39pm
post #35 of 38

Thanks for all the great advice. I never looked at it like I was her door mat, but it does make perfect sense. And I guess in a way I am. I know she's angry because the kids were taken away. I just htought she would come to have some sort of respect for me--guess not.

I can see where my nudging them to keep the door open is hurting them--I know for my DSS sake I am. I just didnt think I was really setting him up to get hurt by her.

You all are great! I've wasted 1/2 my day upset by her and she isnt even close to being worth it.

I will persue the RO. All I can show as my prrof is my 20-something pages over the last 7 years and the many police reports I have on file.

I wont stop hoping that she will get her crap together and be a mother to the kids!

MnSnow Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
MnSnow Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 9:00pm
post #36 of 38

Your intentions are great, however you can't make a person change unless THEY want to. Your holding out for a dream and in reality she isn't going to be the "Mother" you think she should be. It i sn't possible for her. Look at history with her.

I stayed in a marriage with an alcoholic because I was hoping one day he would wake up and change. While I was waiting he was hurting our children (emotionally). I realized it was never going to happen and I divorced him. Now 20 years later...he still hasn't changed. Was I going to stay with it and keep waiting?

That's something YOU need to decide. It sounds like the kids are old enough to make up their minds. You need to respect their decisons. They know the door is open should THEY choose it to be. My kids made their choice on their own and I am so glad they did. They have no resentment towards me and our relationship is great.

Good Luck to you

alvarezmom Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
alvarezmom Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 3:59pm
post #37 of 38

Well I finished the cake....I must say it came out better than I had thought!

I still dragged on about Friday-but I'm a little more at ease with it. I just tell myself what ever happens happens!

Thanks for all the great advise lady's!

Lita829 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Lita829 Posted 8 Jun 2009 , 4:02pm
post #38 of 38

I'm happy to know that your cake turned out good icon_smile.gif .

I'm sure that your personal life will be OK, too. It may take a little time and outside intervention (RO) but I believe it will all work out in the end.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%