Possible Move/new Job For Dh - But A Wrinkle

Lounge By berryblondeboys Updated 4 Jun 2009 , 11:23pm by costumeczar

berryblondeboys Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 1:28pm
post #1 of 13

Ok, so we live in the DC area and my DH works for the Gov't as an economist. He's been in his current position for 5 years and while he likes the people and the job. It's gotten stagnant and there's no upward mobility. One of the reasons he took the job is that there are lots of other places he could work/transfer without involving a family move which is a big bonus as we are all moved out.

So, a few months ago he signed up for a job listing thing that would show job openings for economists in the gov't. Last week one popped up that was interesting to him and one that he felt qualified for. He filled out the application and at the last minute decided to ask someone he serves on a committee with if he would mind being a reference. This person works in the same dept. as the job prospect, just a different office. He thought it would look good to have a reference from a head honcho within the same dept.

He called this head honcho and the guy was like, "Of course you can use me as a reference for that job!" And then his next sentence was, "But, what do you think about working for me instead?"

It seems his office was planning on hiring an entry level person this summer, but after hearing that my DH was looking for a similar position and KNOWING my DH, this head honcho got a new idea - hire someone he likes and respects and knows does good work. My DH also knows the two deputies on the dept. from other committees too and they are eager to have my DH.

So... they set up a time to talk the next day and basically the head honcho said that he would tailor make a job for my DH and he also said that in a few years his lead economist would be retiring and he totally saw my DH filling that position. So.... a dream job basically that is a grade level higher on the pay scale and room to grow. He is so excited - I can tell, but he wants all of our input to weigh the decision.

The problem? The job is in Baltimore, not DC and we live in Northern Virginia. It's just too far to commute.

We talked about it as a family and we agree that it's inconvenient to have to sell now, but that all in all, this would be better for all of us. Still great schools, nice place to live, more 'central' for travel, really no 'downs' about the area. Just moving stinks with the housing market as it is and we have zero equity in this house since we bought in 2004.

Then the wrinkle. My son is in 7th grade and in GT ed. Next year he can apply to get into the Science and Tech High school. His chances of getting in are well, not good, but it would be nice to see if he could! But more, his 8th grade band next spring is going to Beijing China. It's a wonderful opportunity that probably won't be matched anywhere else as the band program here is well, AMAZING.

But how silly is it to rethink when he takes the job or when we move just because of this? Now, as mom I'm torn. I hate to break my son's heart! Yet, turning down or delaying this move seems silly too!

12 replies
Carson Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 1:46pm
post #2 of 13

Tough choices, will you be able to buy a house for less than what you are selling your current home for? I have no idea of the housing market where you are, but that was once an option for my family. We had no equity in our home since we had just bought it but DH got a job in another town where the houses were considerably lower in price and we made out for the better.

Hopefully DS will find other opportunities in a new place.

Try to make the decision on whats best for your family as a whole, not just for one member. Maybe the money isn't as important as the life you have made there, but maybe it will bring some economic relief that will make everyone a little more relaxed and happier.

Sorry, didn't really give you a answer of what you should do, but its your family's decision.

Anntee Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 3:40pm
post #3 of 13

Tough call for everyone! However, I think you answered it yourself in paragraph #7 (?) where you say "we all agree........."

We went through a similar decision with 3 kids heading into high school. No question Fairfax County is among the best. But we chose (as a family) to move to FL. New job for DH, new schools, etc. for kids, new everything for Mom. But good all around choice.

Our house didn't sell until a year after we moved, but we were able to rent it out. Realizing how bad the housing market is right now, I still find it hard to believe you have zero equity in a home you've owned for five years in Fairfax!?!

Having said all that - our VP commuted for years from Delaware; isn't Baltimore closer? Maybe a temporary option. Whatever your decision - all the best to you. icon_smile.gif

berryblondeboys Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 3:50pm
post #4 of 13

We bought our house in 2004 when the prices were already high. Home prices now in Fairfax county are selling for around 2003/2004 prices.

We paid $310,000. Put 20,000 in improvements and we'll be very lucky to get more than $290,000 for it. There are three foreclosures in our community listed for $240,000. So, yes, zero equity.

If we move to Howard County, MD, those schools are about as good or better than those in most of Fairfax.

We'll probably have to rent as we'll need to rebuild a savings for a home, but man... how does one save $50,000 or more? It's not like rents are cheap! Renting ours out isn't easy either as a lot of people are trying to rent.

Delaware to DC is probably easier than NoVA to Baltimore. My DH 'can' do it for awhile, but it will be tough. First VRE into DC, then switch to mark, take that to another marc and then a bus to the job. That's a lot. He can drive it, but would have to ask for flexibility with hours at the new job so that he could work around beltway traffic.

SS385Monte Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 4:29pm
post #5 of 13

Good luck with making a decision. I live in Anne Arundel County so if you would like any input on that area let me know. We have some great public schools here.

berryblondeboys Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 4:39pm
post #6 of 13

Well, this is moving forward at lightening speed. They want him to come and talk to more people this Friday. Like in TWO DAYS.

I just looked and he can take the VRE to Marc and one bus to get there.... he can survive short term.

Seriously... HOW can he turn this down?

He would be working for the Social Security Administration in western Baltimore. We would want to live as close as possible (he hates driving). So, we've been eying Howard County - Ellicott City specifically. Great Schools, easy commute and my son can continue his full time gifted education program (which was important as he just is finishing Algebra 1 in 7th grade and plans to take Geometry in 8th - he can both here and there which is great).

As for the China trip... there will be other trips and opportunities. We can't make life altering choices because of one trip.

I just HATE starting over!

Anntee Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 5:31pm
post #7 of 13

Wow - that's pretty fast, especially for a gov't office! lol
Just noticed you're in Burke; we were too!
All your arguments are sound. Keep the faith and everything will work out fine. Let us know how it goes. icon_smile.gif

CakesByJen2 Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 7:36pm
post #8 of 13

I know commuting really sucks, but would it be possible that he can manage it for a year? That way your son could get thru 8th grade and get to go one the trip before moving, plus your husband could be SURE that the job is all he thought it would be and that he wants to stay there long-term BERFORE you up-root everyone again.

Deb_ Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 7:38pm
post #9 of 13

See if the company will offer you guys a buy out on your house as part of the deal. If they want him to move bad enough they may just do that for you.

Good luck with everything!

berryblondeboys Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 7:47pm
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakesByJen2

I know commuting really sucks, but would it be possible that he can manage it for a year? That way your son could get thru 8th grade and get to go one the trip before moving, plus your husband could be SURE that the job is all he thought it would be and that he wants to stay there long-term BERFORE you up-root everyone again.




We could try that. It's true, but I would be surprised if this won't work out. He knows and has worked with quite closely the three top people (who would be his bosses). Plus, in his 20 years of working, he's never run across a job or a person who made him miserable.

But, for family 'stuff' we'll see. It's complicated as it involves moving my MIL too.

berryblondeboys Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 7:49pm
post #11 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

See if the company will offer you guys a buy out on your house as part of the deal. If they want him to move bad enough they may just do that for you.

Good luck with everything!




It's the federal government - they can't do that. They can't do any sort of sign-on bonus. The most they can do is help with some moving expenses, but that's not buying out the house sort of level... I WISH we had that kind of option.

mbelgard Posted 3 Jun 2009 , 8:02pm
post #12 of 13

If school is still in session where you are considering moving would it be possible to take a day trip down there to check the school out this week?


I'm asking because ensuring that the school is good first hand might make a move easier on your son.

costumeczar Posted 4 Jun 2009 , 11:23pm
post #13 of 13

My father was in the Navy and we moved every two years. Kids will adapt, and a lot easier than adults do, most of the time! Most high schools do trips abroad now, so if your son misses this trip others will come up.

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