I Can't Believe.....

Decorating By julia77 Updated 29 May 2009 , 2:02am by umgrzfn

julia77 Posted 27 May 2009 , 1:41am
post #1 of 39

....the number of stories on here of people being asked to discount their price, give their services for free etc etc by brides who are complaining that having hundreds of guests is so expensive they can't afford much for the cake!! icon_eek.gif If you can't afford a cake but still want one, invite less guests!!! If the reception is costing so much already and you want more, downsize!

I've been amazed by how many people have been approached to basically lose money because the bride wants everything but can't afford it! No wonder there is a credit crisis with want-it-all attitudes like this.

Brides/grooms/mothers really seem to try to take advantage of cake makers/decorators!

Stick to your guns girls, you're worth it icon_lol.gif

38 replies
weirkd Posted 27 May 2009 , 8:55pm
post #2 of 39

Yah, Ive said the same thing. I think its the generation. They think that people owe them something. My son is the same way. They dont want to work and they think that money grows on trees!!
But I really get tired of hearing people say that they want cakes that look like the one's on Charm City Cakes but they think that more than a $1 a slice is too much. They just dont understand that people cant give away things for free.
I try to give them a perspective by asking them if they would take a job that would pay less than $4 an hour and you have fourteen hour days. Usually it gives them some what of a clue.

indydebi Posted 27 May 2009 , 9:59pm
post #3 of 39
Originally Posted by weirkd

I think its the generation. They think that people owe them something.

I tend to agree with this.

To add another perspective, my sister recently told me that she believes she did her sons a disservice by allowing them to "live so well". Now that they are grown ... one in college and one married with 2 babies .... they don't know how to "be broke". The married son was shopping for a car and his mom (my sis) told him he needed to look for a cheaper car. His reply? "I'm not going to SETTLE!"

Settle? icon_confused.gif You're a 25 year old kid with 2 babies to feed and you DON'T make the money yo' mama is makin' 'coz YOU haven't worked at the same place for 30 years like she has!!!

Gosh, my kids never had that problem! They really DO know how to deal with being broke! icon_lol.gif In the words of Roseanne Conner, "You can't be spoiled seeing how we spent our whole life givin' ya nuthin'!"

weirkd Posted 27 May 2009 , 11:44pm
post #4 of 39

lol, yep got that right Deb! My son is going to be 21 next month. He has yet to get a full time job, or go to school. He went for "a" semester of college (we told him that we would pay if he got atleast B's in the class. Ofcourse he flunked all but one course but still insists that its our obligation to pay for it. I assured him it wasnt when he got the bill). He works three days a week and spends most of his time in front of his computer in his room. He had the nerve to ask me a few weeks ago if I would pay for a plane ticket so he could meet some girl that he talks to on the internet. He said "but it will be in July" meaning it would be for his birthday. I told him the only way he would be getting a plane ticket is if it was one way!!
We do not have a lot. Infact most of the time the things we do have are given to us by my mother because she knows we are stuggling to pay our bills and keep afloat. My husband works two jobs and has two more side jobs. I have my cake business and hope to go back to work after my youngest starts school in the fall. But it doesnt stop him from thinking that money comes out of nowhere and that even though its under our roof, its HIS room and he can do what he wants. But Im about to do the tough love thing and kick him out and see how well he has it!!!

sara91 Posted 28 May 2009 , 5:53pm
post #5 of 39

Weirkd, I love it. A one way ticket! HA ha ha

That reminds me my inlaws moved away from their town on the beach into the country so that their surfer son would move out.

My 4 year old thinks that money does grow on trees and tells Daddy to go shake the tree for more money!

AverageMom Posted 28 May 2009 , 5:59pm
post #6 of 39

weirdk, until you make him be responsible for his own actions, he will continue to believe that the world owes him. Kick him out, tell him you love him, and let him learn some life lessons.
I have a "friend" whose parents have always taken care of him. He's 38. He (and his wife and 4 kids) live in a house...that his mom owns. He pays rent when he feels like it. He drive a van....that his dad bought him. And yet he still has money to spend on computer games.
You do NOT want to be paying for your son's entertainment when he is 40!! Start training him now!

Franluvsfrosting Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:10pm
post #7 of 39

Our kids could probably do to learn a few more lessons on doing without but we have given a few. One has been that if they want something they have to buy it themselves, as in without my money! That does a seriously good job of making them think about whether they really want it or not! If I get the "But I don't have any money" argument then they're told to save up or I offer a few jobs they can do to earn money. And we're talking hard labor here because if I have the opportunity to show them how hard it often is to earn a buck they're much more appreciative of how hard their dad works!

At least my kids won't try to rip off a cake decorator! For one, I've obviously called dibs on their wedding cakes and for another they have to live with me when I do one! (I'm a casual, friends and family only baker so it takes over my entire little house.)

cricket0616 Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:12pm
post #8 of 39

Weirdk, I have a brother that sounds just like your son. He stayed with my parents until he was 26. It took him 7 years to get his bachelors degree because he went part time or change his major three times, etc. Well, after the entire family screamed at him for years and my father put his foot down, he finally got a job. He has been working with the same company now for a year and he told me just this weekend, that he is ashamed of what he did all those years. He feels better about himself now than he ever did. It is time to plant the foot!!!

As for the rest of the brides, I took at class last year on the "generation Y" which is what they are called (those in 20-30's) and they are from the entitlement generation. Their parents gave them so much that they expect these things. Not saying that everyone in their 20-30's are this way, but this was what the class was about. I am sure they will learn with time.....nothing is free in life. It just may be painful for all of us until they get the hint.

TBallad Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:17pm
post #9 of 39
Originally Posted by weirkd

I think its the generation. They think that people owe them something.

As someone of an age to qualify as "They" and "that generation" I think this is an unfair statement. EVERY generation has it's spoiled kids. Look at the Baby Boomers, for example. A member of that generation recently said she wouldn't allow her grandchildren to call her Grandma because it made her feel old.

And for the record - I wore grunge in the 90's, worked crazy consulting hours during the tech boom, and was one of the growing trend of professional women who quit the corporate world in the 2000's to work from home and raise their kids 24/7.

I don't feel anyone "owes" me anything more than a fair wage for the work I do. Sometimes someone goes out of their way to help me out and I'm grateful for it, and sometimes I've had to struggle through with whatever I could scrape together. That's just life.

Ok - off my soapbox now!

Eisskween Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:18pm
post #10 of 39

Here's a goodie to add to that pile. Last year there was a girl who was having a baby shower and "didn't have a lot of money." Hence, being the benevolent soul that I used to be (note the "used to be"), I decided I would donate a baby shower cake. I wasn't busy and was looking for something to do. Bad move.

She promised to hand out cards, buy her cakes from me, tell her friends; yadda, yadda, yadda. Never heard hide nor hair of this girl for the past year.

Fast forward...two weeks ago. She sends me an email saying she is getting married in July and was wondering how much a three-tier cake was. I responded that it goes by servings and asked how many people she would need to serve.

She replies back to me that, blah blah...you did my shower cake and it was beautiful...blah blah. And she didn't see why people went by servings, she just goes by cake, so how much for the cake? (um...rude much?)

Anyway, I told her that I would need to know how many people so I would know what size to make the cake and would get a better idea of how much it would be. She emails me back with...15. Seriously, a three-tier for fifteen people?

So I figured out I could make a miniature square three tier, she would have a bit left over, but I would charge her $100. Then she said she wasn't interested in a miniature because she didn't want to look like a fool at her own wedding. (Pfft, why not, you did just now.)

I asked her when her date was, she emailed me back with her date. Oops, I'm sorry, I am booked. What is it with people anyway? I guess non-cakers have no idea, or they just fell off the turnip truck.

Well there's my rant. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now back to work for my real brides. Have a fabulous day!

__Jamie__ Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:22pm
post #11 of 39

This girl does stick to her guns, therefore, she turns away more than she books, which is not a problem for me, I can't put a price tag on my sanity or self worth.

becklynn Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:25pm
post #12 of 39

Cake muggles! (non-cakers)

They just don't get it!!

__Jamie__ Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:28pm
post #13 of 39

Exactly Eisskween, back to the real brides with more than sawdust in their little noggins...LOVE IT!

SJ169 Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:46pm
post #14 of 39

Ok.. so I would like to come to the defense of what I guess would be my "generation" . I have to agree with TBallad every generation has the spoiled ones. I am only 20 years old, my parents are well off but I have always paid my own way with pretty much everything since I was 16 (which is when i got my first job at McDonalds). I do live in my parents basement suite, but I do pay for rent, buy groceries and do my own laundry. I also work full time at a furniture store, do Adult toy parties on the side and make cake's on the side as well.
and lots of my friends are like this as well, I dont think it is fair generalize so much, I know alot of people that are in the 40's and are still always looking for a deal.
Anyway dont mean to drag on and on but had to comment icon_smile.gif

__Jamie__ Posted 28 May 2009 , 6:50pm
post #15 of 39

I too am part of that and they...lol! Thank goodness I don't have an entitlement attitude though...whew! There are selfish spoiled twits in every age group. And I am doing my part to make sure the next generation, as it realtes to my family...doesn't grow up with that attitude either.

sweetideas Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:04pm
post #16 of 39
Originally Posted by __Jamie__

I too am part of that and they...lol! Thank goodness I don't have an entitlement attitude though...whew! There are selfish spoiled twits in every age group. And I am doing my part to make sure the next generation, as it realtes to my family...doesn't grow up with that attitude either.

With my husband, brother, freinds all laid off, I don't think it's going to be too difficult to raise some practical kids these days. I think that is true for a lot of us out there. Guess there's a high point to anything. icon_smile.gif

If I thought a cake was too expensive, I would keep looking elsewhere or have family make it. That's just me. Funny, when I got married 5 years ago, I was also on a budget but figured out that to accomodate what I could afford, I would have to invite less people and do without certain things like a limo and fancy stuff. Funny how that works. I also saved money by getting married on a Friday and in a less busy part of the year! Does that ever occur to these brides??

Texas_Rose Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:06pm
post #17 of 39

I think even a few years can make a difference, as far as how a generation behaves. My sister is ten years younger than me. She just turned 20 and my parents gave her $10,000 to buy a car. She's going to graduate school in the fall and has to borrow $35,000 a year but in her words, "It's an investment in myself because I'm worth it!" Part of why her graduate schooling is so expensive is that she refuses to go to school here in town because she lived with my parents during college and "it sucked". She screams at my parents all the time, and just before Christmas she got mad at my mom and kicked her. Mom had to go for xrays because she could barely walk even a week after she got kicked. I urged my mom to file a police report but she didn't want to ruin my sister's chances for a career. Now whenever my sister is mad at my mom she says, "I'm so mad at Mom that I want to kick her," and I get so upset that I get physically sick.

Me on the other hand...when I was 18 my parents kicked me out. They said it was because I didn't get along with anyone in the house, but I think it was because they needed the bedrooms for my 2 sisters. I had been working since I was 16, was going to college on a full scholarship (my mom wouldn't even pay for the bus pass for me to get to school), did all of the cooking and cleaning in the house...and one day my middle sister said I pinched her in church, and when I got home from work that day, everything I owned was in the front yard. I don't regret the life I've got now but I know it would have been different if I'd had a couple more years to grow up.

Anyhow, I'm 30 and I've worked for everything I have. I try to make my kids' life a little bit softer than mine has been, but even the 4 year old understands that we don't always have money for everything they want.

__Jamie__ Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:07pm
post #18 of 39

Exactly sweetideas, hey if anyone hasn't seen this:


ENJOY!!! Totally fits here in this thread! Lol!

umgrzfn Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:13pm
post #19 of 39
Originally Posted by sara91

My 4 year old thinks that money does grow on trees and tells Daddy to go shake the tree for more money!

That so sounds like what my 4 year old would say!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

sara91 Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:18pm
post #20 of 39

Of course everyone in generation Y is not like that, but it is a generalisation of that generation. Marketers use this information very successfully to sell all sorts of stuff.

Please don't be offended, it is like me being offended when someone says they don't like my star sign Gemini!

sara91 Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:23pm
post #21 of 39

Texas_Rose that is very sad about your sister and mums relationship. Sometimes it is amazing what crap we will put up with because it is family. I hope it works out for your mum and your sister gets some anger management help.

umgrzfn Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:29pm
post #22 of 39
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

She screams at my parents all the time, and just before Christmas she got mad at my mom and kicked her. Mom had to go for xrays because she could barely walk even a week after she got kicked. I urged my mom to file a police report but she didn't want to ruin my sister's chances for a career. Now whenever my sister is mad at my mom she says, "I'm so mad at Mom that I want to kick her," and I get so upset that I get physically sick.

Sorry guys and gals...cover your eyes..........WTF!!!!!!! Are you kidding me?! How disrespectful, childish, ignorant can one be?! Even though we all fall into the catagorie of having disagreements with our parents, lets face it, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them!!! She needs a few lessons and the first one would be my foot up her hiney!!!
I as well fall into the they and them at 35. We are soooo broke, and trust me, I certainly don't think anyone "owes" me anything. I was raised in a Middle Class family, my husband, well...lets just say his mom shopped at good will (NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT BTW) for x-mas gifts. My 14 knows the value of a dollar. Sometimes I think it's better to not have the money to "spoil" with because that is what they grow up knowing. There are some VERY materialistic BYOTCH's out there!! People are so tied up in how big the wedding has to be....how many guests....etc. When did it become about the material things and not about the man and woman joining together for the rest of their life????!!!!!!
Ok, done now...sorry had to vent

weirkd Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:55pm
post #23 of 39

Im sorry, I wasnt saying that every kid was that way. And yes, every generation has its spoiled kids, etc.
But not just the generation of children because adults too, seem to be more rude, have no manners and forget about customer service. Most of them dont understand what the word means. So when I say "generation" I am not just talking kids, Im talking about people in general.
I guess it all has to do with the upbringing or lack there of. I would never of talked back to my parents or was even permitted to swear in front of them. Even though my parents were pretty easy going, I would of never even thought of doing it. I worked three jobs and paid for my insurance, my car, my clothes and entertainment at a very early age. My son on the other hand, because he had two sets of grandparents and what he didnt get from, one, he got from the other because they were trying to make my life a living hell. (his father and I were not together so his parents would actually be the one's to pick him up for what was suppose to be his father's custody. His father didnt bother with him. But his parents believed I ruined his son's life by making him have to work and pay child support so they did everything possible and against my wishes so that they were "getting back" at me.)

cricket0616 Posted 28 May 2009 , 7:59pm
post #24 of 39

I hope I did not take this thread on a rant when I said Generation Y and if I did I am sorry. icon_sad.gif As I said not all people in there 20-30 are that way. I you look at any generation they have sterotypes and this generation was probably given more by their parents than any other (because the parents had more to give). My parents had children from two generations. I am 13 years older than my brother and we were not raised the same. I had to pay for my car and my brother was given a new one. It was a different time and my parents were older and futher along in their careers and could do it.

I agree that there are people in their 20-30 that are hard working individual that clawed their way to where they are today....and there are people in their 40's that want to put their hand out for every freebie around. So can we get back to the part about brides asking for the moon and wanting to pay with peanuts. icon_smile.gif Sorry again if I got things off track.

tcakes65 Posted 28 May 2009 , 8:16pm
post #25 of 39

Back to t he OP's topic, I think it mainly has to do with the advice put out there in bridal magazines and websites. Many of these brides live and breath what some of these well known magazines and internet sites put out there. They consider them "experts" even though they don't have a clue about the cake industry. We've all seen the articles about how the bride can get her wedding cake for practically nothing. When these girls read over and over again that they can get a cake to serve 300 guests for $150, they start to believe it. Until the magazines and internet sites get on board and educate themselves, we'll continue to have to deal with it unfortunately.

mysweetconfetions Posted 28 May 2009 , 8:36pm
post #26 of 39

umgrzfn...I must say I have to agree with you WTF? I have 3 wonderful kids that are all in the "They and Them" generation. I raised all 3 of them the same way my parents raised me...if you want something...work for it. My oldest daughter last summer was talking about getting married to her BF of 9 years..she was all excited about planning her wedding. She wanted nothing big...just family and friends. Then she sister announced she was getting married in Nov. Nothing big, just afew friends and family. TO cut cost, I did all her flowers, catering and cakes. Also, made her dress and 2 brides maid dresses. To say the least by the time she said "I DO" i said "I"M DONE!" Fast forward to April 1...My Oldest called me and told me that she had gotten married!. I asked her what happened to the small affair she was planning and she informed me "Mom, I saw what Jessica's wedding did to you and I couldn't do that to anybody I loved!" Talk about wanting to cry... I was so proud and disappointed at the same time. Then my son calls me to tell me thank you for, as he put it "beatin my *(& and making me work for what I wanted." I bout fell out of my chair! All I could think about was, Single handedly I had raised 3 pretty good kids that know that nothing in life is free.

Sorry this is so long...Just had to "brag" that not all 20-30 YO's have the "world owes me something" attitude.

2girliesmama Posted 28 May 2009 , 8:40pm
post #27 of 39

Yes, I too have been a victim of the want it all cheapskate! I love when (birthday mom's especially) give the walmart threat. "Oh! $40.00 for a cake covered in hand sculpted fondant figures that feeds 60 thats way more than I planned to spend, and I was really hoping you would also drive the 40 miles here and back to bring it to me and set it up....I guess I'll just have to go with a walmart cake"lol. I really don't think people understand the time and money it takes to make a beautiful quality cake! As I have said before in other posts, they should offer a class in high school on the art of cake! The student should have to pay for the supplies and cater to the customer. I know from experience many a tune would change. I did this with a mom who was a friend and was trying to go cheaper by having me "tutor" her so she could "make" the cake. I had her buy supplies and do the work. When all was said and done she swore she would never make her own cake again and didn't know how I made any money. To this day if she is around and someone quibbles over a price she lets them know real fast what a deal they are getting!!!

Cheyanne25 Posted 28 May 2009 , 9:05pm
post #28 of 39

Oh how much I wish I could say I disagree that there is a prevalent amount of people in the 20-30 age group without money sense. I'm right in the middle of that generation (25) and I'm shocked at how so many people my age view money.

Quite a few still believe in the money tree. I've spent the last few years in college, and I've had MANY friends who complain that their parents (who are paying for their tuition, have paid for their dorms, have paid for new computers, etc) aren't willing to give them MORE money to pay off the credit cards/buy clothes/buy misc junk. At first I assume that they're aren't really serious that they are complaining about this... but they are. And then they don't get why I can't sympathize with them.

I'm from a family of 6 with my Dad being the sole income provider as a Master Corporal in the Armed Forces. Never had any big issues with money, but definitely grew up knowing that if I wanted extra stuff I was going to be working at my part time job to get it. And seeing some of the situations my friends are in now, I'm glad I was brought up to have a sense of money. I've got one friend who has a trunk load of debt, is living in an apartment because she can't get a house because a previous one was repossessed and she had to file bankruptcy. She's had a rough ride for sure, but what gets me is that instead of filing away some of her pay cheque to try and get out of the hole; she bought a $30 000 boat (with her third bank loan) so that she can have some 'fun' time. Now... I agree about having some quality of life... but go buy yourself a fricken $200 canoe and paddle your butt around, save the $28 000 for that mountain of debt.

I'm in an odd position myself, because due to some very unfortunate circumstances (my father passed away a few years ago under circumstances that were deemed to be the military's fault) I have come into some money. My finance and I have invested in some real estate (he had already had some before we meet) and we are fortunate enough to be gaining some income by renting out our places. Sounds like a dream eh? That's what most of my friend figure when they first hear my story lol. Then they get to know me and find out that I spend almost every weekend (and some evenings) renovating, covered in plaster, paint or some other construction stuff. The majority of our extra income goes right back into the building (we purchased a VERY VERY badly taken care of garage/apartment building).

In fact we are getting married in September (I can't wait to do the cake lol), and both sets of his parents (divorced) gave us $5000 towards the wedding. I'm not going to lie, initially I had dreams of the big old fancy wedding. Then I realized it'd make way more sense to sink the money into the renovations and get ourselves that much further ahead. So $8000 went into moving along the current apartment we're renovating and the rest is being used for the wedding.

Although I'm in that age bracket (of the gimme generation) I'm gonna have to agree that there is a disturbing majority (by no means all of us) that really don't know how to make their money work for them by sacrificing some things, unfortunately they are the ones who are going to suffer in the end for it. As long as mommy and daddy don't let them live off of them forever! (I had an older brother who tried to do that with my parents lol)

Nannuu Posted 28 May 2009 , 10:30pm
post #29 of 39

I was going to post a long post of how I agree with everyone but I think this video explains it pretty well.

weirkd Posted 28 May 2009 , 10:45pm
post #30 of 39

Man, I really want to smack her! Thank God not everyone is like that or my hand would hurt!!!

Quote by @%username% on %date%