I Hate Lazy Parents!!!!

Lounge By Karema Updated 17 Jun 2009 , 2:07pm by MissCathcart

Karema Posted 19 May 2009 , 5:17pm
post #1 of 40

Well I call my SIL today about a cake order and she goes off on this rampage about how she is going to sue the board of ed and she is going on and on about how her son is going to fail the third grade and he can't go to summer school to pass because they aren't doing the whole year in summer school just reading and he is passing reading. Well she must have chose the wrong day to tell me this crap. I use to be a teacher and I just let her have it. I said...
1. You are complaining because your child is failing but how many times have you gone to the school to volunteer?
2. Are you teaching your son at home as well as him learning in school?
3. Are you communicating with his teacher instead of just going over her head to complain?
4. If you son is lazy and does not want to do the work what do you want the teacher to do about it?

I'm tired of parents wanting teachers to raise their children. She has only gone to the school a few times to complain then had the nerve to say his teacher has no control and she decided she would step in and control the kids. Then she doesn't even organize her child's work when he comes home because he has papers all in his book bag and no folders because she said they ripped so oh well. Then instead of her working with him after school because she doesn't have a job she sends him to an after school program that doesn't help him with homework. Then when he comes home he eats and goes to bed. How lazy can you be as a parent to know that your child is having a hard time in school and you not step up and start going to his school to help especially since you don't have a job and sit on your lazy butt all day.

Give me a break! Can you tell that I'm annoyed. Now he has failed the third grade and will have to repeat it. She already has everyone else doing her job. The school, the after school program, big brother program, and counseling once every two weeks. Is there anyone else that she can get to step in and do her job. Why are some parents so lazy and want to blame the schools? She doesn't even work so she can't even buy his clothing and her mother has to step in and grandmother to help out. So she can't do anything but feed him and yell at him about how he is a failure and its his fault that she can't work because he misbehaves in school???? OH BOY! She better stay out of my way before I really tell him something she doesn't want to hear.

39 replies
en-passant Posted 19 May 2009 , 5:43pm
post #2 of 40

As a former teacher, I can only say RIGHT THERE WITH YA, SISTER!

brincess_b Posted 19 May 2009 , 6:40pm
post #3 of 40

me too! my view has always been if you do not want to actively *be* a parent, dont have kids. seems like quite a few women get too excited by babies, and forget they take at least 16/18 years of attention.
ive told the story on here before of a mum who wishes her kid was a tv addict, rather than a smart girl who likes to actually play with things. sheesh! and she seems to palm her off on others a lot too...
good for you for not listening to her rubbish! she is an idiot, but you just feel so sorry for the boy, its a shame you need to rely on everyone but his mum to hope he comes out of all this ok.
xx

Kiddiekakes Posted 19 May 2009 , 7:00pm
post #4 of 40

I hear yah..I too have a SIL and BIL that have my 6 year old niece...He works from home all day(supposed to be self employed) but doesn't really do anything and hasn't brought in any decent money in over 2 years..It's a good thing she has a good job....He packs my niece up at 6 am every morning to take her to day home who in turn takes and picks her up from Kindergarten and then he goes back over there at 5pm to get her..It costs them $800.00 a month to do this.Anytime they can pawn her off somewhere or to someone they do...She is the same age as my daughter but I swear at least 2 years behind in social and behavioral skills.For one...they are in debt about $120,000 so spending $800.00 a month on day home when he is fricken home all day doing nothing is beyond my comprehension! But it all comes down to this...he wanted the child..(It was a second marriage for my SIL who already had a 15 year old son)and she didn't really want anymore kids but my BIL did.I guess I can understand that! But neither pay attention to her...she has no dicipline or manners for that matter...BIL spoils her because essentially she is an only child...they don't know the word NO with her and she is a complete slob with food always on her face and shovelling it like there is no tomorrow..hair in her mouth and face...it is really quite annoying to be around her.Anytime you try and suggest or give advice they are the first to get angry or blame someone else for her behavior...I just know there is going to be trouble as she gets older...I thank God everyday that my kids are behaved and hubby and I take an active role in their school and education and activities! It sure makes me mad also!!

itsmylife Posted 19 May 2009 , 7:45pm
post #5 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karema

So she can't do anything but feed him and yell at him about how he is a failure and its his fault that she can't work because he misbehaves in school????




Talk about a recipe for disaster. He should be getting help and encouragement from his mom. Can he possibly get the classes he needs in another school or school district?

I was just talking to friend about something similar the other day. She has a friend with kids, and every time she visits, the mom does nothing but yell at them. She hates going to visit because it just breaks her heart to see it.

Is this the same SIL that you had the problem with from the bake sale?

cakes22 Posted 19 May 2009 , 7:52pm
post #6 of 40

One of my daycare kiddies (funny enough, he is the only one that isn't a teacher kid) already has a Wii and a Nintendo DS!!! The boy is 4!!! He learns everything from TV, mind you I did teach him his ABC's & 123's and he can do up his zippers and put his shoes on (I'm prepping him for JK!!!). The mom loves her job so much that she is a workaholic!! She loves being around people (who aren't kids) and goes out all the time with GF and co-workers. The dad is a pot head, 'nuff said on that!!!
I spend more time with the 4 year old, then his parents do. Kinda sad, really. I get paid to be with him but I love him like he was my own. He will be an only child, cause she realized that she wasn't 'mom-material'.

My SIL wanted to adopt a child a few years back, and I told her that she is way to selfish to be a parent, cause you have to be willing to give up your life for your child, needless to say she is childless which is probably a good thing.
icon_razz.gificon_razz.gif

funcakes Posted 19 May 2009 , 9:02pm
post #7 of 40

Karema, you are my new best friend.

Could you come here and give that same lecture to some of the parents of the kids I teach?

Most parents try their best, but some just don't know how they are setting their kids up for an unhappy adult life.

We are not allowed to leave students back unless we can document that they are too young or developmentally delayed. If they have not learned what is expected then the taxpayers have to foot the bill for in school support and get this! Now we have to pay for outside tutoring after school! Most of the time it is because the parents don't spend any time with the kids. Not only do they not help with homework, they don't even spend time talking about "what did you do in school today?" Every year the kids come to class with less ability to express themselves verbally. How many more arguments will I have next year over-there is no such word as gonna or gunna-please change it to going to! Then they tell me I am wrong. Oh, my.

Talk about lazy kids-Yesterday a student came up to me with a wad of crumpled assignments. He pointed out that his classmate was hiding them so he wouldn't have to finish them.
"Really"? I said, "Where was he hiding them?"
The little guy tells me, "The same place where I hide mine!"
I couldn't help but start laughing, and he realized what he did and mumbled "I shouldn't have told you about that"
Still cracks me up today.

mbelgard Posted 19 May 2009 , 9:13pm
post #8 of 40

I hear stories like this all the time from the teachers I know at the local school.

They made AYP for the first time ever this year and the teachers were overjoyed.


This year the worst to me was the little girl who was in the same kindergarten class as my son who didn't know her shapes, colors or even the letters in her first name when she started school. I never once saw a member of her family and I was at all the events that they invited parents to.

Texas_Rose Posted 19 May 2009 , 9:14pm
post #9 of 40

I agree about the lazy parents...they are the reason that I no longer babysit. Sometimes when they don't help with homework, though, it's because they can't. There was a little girl who I took care of after school. She was in 1st grade for the second time. I did homework with her and we read and made up stories on my dry erase board. She learned to read well by the end of the second month of school. I couldn't understand why her parents hadn't helped her, if all it took was a little encouragement. Then one day the mom brought me some legal papers she'd gotten in the mail and asked if I could read them to her. It turned out that neither she nor her husband could read.

I'm going to be a rebel here and say that volunteering at the school (which at our school consists of photocopying fliers about expensive activities) wouldn't help my daughter learn.

indydebi Posted 19 May 2009 , 9:58pm
post #10 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

This year the worst to me was the little girl who was in the same kindergarten class as my son who didn't know her shapes, colors or even the letters in her first name when she started school.


That is so sad! icon_sad.gif My grandson turns 2 this Friday and he knows colors and shapes. (His mom is a stay at home mom and works with him a lot.... and it shows. thumbs_up.gif )

mbelgard Posted 19 May 2009 , 10:49pm
post #11 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose


I'm going to be a rebel here and say that volunteering at the school (which at our school consists of photocopying fliers about expensive activities) wouldn't help my daughter learn.





Volunteering isn't about actually teaching your child but it shows them that you care about what goes on in school.

There are many other ways for parents to do this if volunteering either doesn't fit in a schedule or isn't something the parent wants to do.

Showing up for P/T conferences, school activities, reading with your child, looking at school work, etc are other ways to show your child that what they do in school makes a difference.


When children see that their parents care about their education it can make a difference.

Carson Posted 19 May 2009 , 11:19pm
post #12 of 40

My DD has the benefit of having the very best kindergarten teacher in the world!! But I am sure that she wouldn't be at the Grade 2 reading level that she is at now without all the reading we do with her at home. My 2 year old knows her colors and shapes, can (almost) count to 10 (why she misses 4 & 5 and puts them at the end is beyond me!) She also loves to "read" books herself, its cute, but also an important step in early reading.

I have never pushed my girls to excel, and I certainly let them have lots of fun time...I also work full time - so I just can't comprehend how lazy you have to be to let your child fall so far behind? ***need to say that I understand that some children may not do as well in school as some regardless of parental effort, but I'm talking about the lazy parents who are not interested in their own child's future***

Texas_Rose Posted 19 May 2009 , 11:27pm
post #13 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose


I'm going to be a rebel here and say that volunteering at the school (which at our school consists of photocopying fliers about expensive activities) wouldn't help my daughter learn.



Showing up for P/T conferences, school activities, reading with your child, looking at school work, etc are other ways to show your child that what they do in school makes a difference.




I do all of that and I bake for school events. I also send in whatever the teacher requests for the classroom (most weeks she has a list of classroom needs like ziplock bags, paper towels, etc.) I just refuse to get a babysitter so I can go over there and photocopy for them icon_biggrin.gif They always ask when they hear that I don't work, but I'm just too cheap to pay my sitter $7 an hour so I can work for free.

mbelgard Posted 19 May 2009 , 11:45pm
post #14 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

This year the worst to me was the little girl who was in the same kindergarten class as my son who didn't know her shapes, colors or even the letters in her first name when she started school.

That is so sad! icon_sad.gif My grandson turns 2 this Friday and he knows colors and shapes. (His mom is a stay at home mom and works with him a lot.... and it shows. thumbs_up.gif )





When my son first came home talking about the little girl who didn't know what color crayon to use I thought he was making things up. From what I've seen and heard I really doubt the child has any real learning disability and that makes it even sadder.

ziggytarheel Posted 19 May 2009 , 11:54pm
post #15 of 40

It really is sad how far behind some kids are before they even arrive at school. When my kids were young, my volunteering at school was usually helping tutor students who were dreadfully behind. One year I worked with the sweetest, cutest little girl in kindergarten. This child had NEVER been read to before she entered school Did not know what letters were, or numbers. Didn't know you read from left to right. Didn't know any of her colors or shapes. When you start off that far behind, no matter how hard the school works, it isn't very likely you are going to be very successful at school or like it very much. I spent 2 hours with her a week, she had regular one on one time with the resource teacher as well as intensive time with the classroom teacher. But without help at home....

I've heard a statistic quoted several times that the number one predictor of spending time in jail is your reading level in 3rd grade. I don't remember how the stat goes, but if you aren't reading by the end of 3rd grade, the odds are incredibly high that you will end up in jail. When parents don't step up, others need to, but it's pretty hard to replace what a parent can/should do for a child.

bourbs Posted 20 May 2009 , 12:07am
post #16 of 40

Sadly I hear this all the time. My husband is a teacher and he would come home so upset after a "parent" , teacher night when barely any of the kids parents would ever bother to show up.
He worked in a middle school and finally had to transfer to an elementary school as the kids in middle school were so out of control, swearing at the teachers, calling them names, etc. More than once, police would come into the classroom, walk up to a student and take him and a gun away.
I was never so relieved as when my husband transferred to an elementary school, no only for his physical well being, but his mental.
He comes home so much more relaxed and happy and he's so thrilled that many more parents show up and take responsibility and an interest in what their children are doing.

Jayde Posted 20 May 2009 , 12:18am
post #17 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose


I'm going to be a rebel here and say that volunteering at the school (which at our school consists of photocopying fliers about expensive activities) wouldn't help my daughter learn.




Volunteering isn't about actually teaching your child but it shows them that you care about what goes on in school.

There are many other ways for parents to do this if volunteering either doesn't fit in a schedule or isn't something the parent wants to do.

Showing up for P/T conferences, school activities, reading with your child, looking at school work, etc are other ways to show your child that what they do in school makes a difference.


When children see that their parents care about their education it can make a difference.




I volunteer at my DD's school every Thursday. I read a book to the class and then we have discussion for about 15 minutes. What they liked about the story, what they didnt like, any questions they might have, etc. It gives the teacher a mini-break, and the kids get to see someone new for a bit. Did I mention its a Kindergarten class??? I love it!! All the kids are great, and I love going.

funcakes Posted 20 May 2009 , 12:56am
post #18 of 40

Our area has a lot of families who don't spent time teaching their little ones at home themselves, but spend big bucks to send them to very expensive preschools with the expectation that they are then assured to be in the top groups and in the gifted and talented programs.
Then they are all outraged when other kids, who were taught by their own parents to do what was asked the FIRST time, and listen when an adult speaks, blows past them academically.
You just can't buy success, you have to work for it.

KKC Posted 20 May 2009 , 8:38pm
post #19 of 40

I have 2 cousins that are the same way...one of my cousins really didn't have any business becoming a parent for a number of reasons..1)She's an out of control diabetic who does not take care of herself 2) She's in an out of the hospital like every other week because of her blood sugar 3)She's on dialysis for her kidney's 4) the guy she had the baby by is married 5)She has no job, no means of transportation and she lives with her dad (who was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia never takes his meds so he always goes off on a violent rampage)...all they do in her household is yell, yell, curse and yell some more. So thats all the child knows. He's now 5 years old and cannot talk but he can cry and scream. The teachers at his school at the beginning of the year told her that she needed to take him to speech therapy and that the school would pay for it. Of course she did not get off her a$$ to try to take him. My aunt, whose son attends the same school, offered to take him but she said he didn't need it. So now he has to go to a "Special" school that'll help him. So u know what that means right??? The schools, teachers and everyone else has already labeled him "SLOW" with a "learning disability". Poor kid, he can't even tell you whats wrong if you ask him...all he does is cry. If he tries to tell you something there are no words coming out he just mumbles..he can say your name but everything else is mumbling. I feel so bad for him that household is too dysfunctional (sp?) for him.

Now my other cousin who had a baby for all the wrong reasons (the guy's family had a big house, nice cars)...ironically the father's mother went to jail for Credit Card fraud therefore she lost the house and the cars. I can say that my cousin is good at making sure her son looks good (he has nice clothing) and smells good with expensive colognes, well fed and she spends time with him (taking him to the park). But he's 6 years old and has a speech problem and he misbehaves in school. He's another one that you cannot understand what he's saying AT ALL! She beats the crap out of him so now he's a tough kid and he is terrible...he kicks people, spits at them you name it. So what does she do..she beats him like he's a man. He once told the teachers at his school that his mom beat him and sure enough the called Children & Families on her. So she sent him to live with his dad..who by the way is always in and out of jail. She took him out of school for a 1/2 year because she didn't like how the teacher talked to her son.

They get mad at me when i try to give them advice but i think sometimes it better for them to hear it from someone their age rather than an older person who would read them like a book...They didn't like the fact that I told them that if they stop chasing guys all the time they'd realize that their kids have a problem. I have a son who is 7 and he was talking at the age of 1 and by the time he was 15 months he knew his ABC's and how to count to 20. He started school at 3 because I felt he had too much sense to just stay home and watch TV all day...his father and I work with him on a daily basis, getting him a tutor for the summer so he can be prepared for that FCAT. I do believe that some parents blame the teachers because its easier than placing the blame on yourself...if you place the blame on yourself then to them thats admitting failure. This year my son struggled terribly in school and after coming here and venting I got alot of good advice, now my son is doing extremely well in school.

Sorry Karema, didn't mean to hijack ur thread girl! icon_redface.gif

mbelgard Posted 20 May 2009 , 9:44pm
post #20 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

I have 2 cousins that are the same way...one of my cousins really didn't have any business becoming a parent for a number of reasons..1)She's an out of control diabetic who does not take care of herself 2) She's in an out of the hospital like every other week because of her blood sugar 3)She's on dialysis for her kidney's 4) the guy she had the baby by is married 5)She has no job, no means of transportation and she lives with her dad (who was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia never takes his meds so he always goes off on a violent rampage)...all they do in her household is yell, yell, curse and yell some more. So thats all the child knows. He's now 5 years old and cannot talk but he can cry and scream. The teachers at his school at the beginning of the year told her that she needed to take him to speech therapy and that the school would pay for it. Of course she did not get off her a$$ to try to take him. My aunt, whose son attends the same school, offered to take him but she said he didn't need it. So now he has to go to a "Special" school that'll help him. So u know what that means right??? The schools, teachers and everyone else has already labeled him "SLOW" with a "learning disability". Poor kid, he can't even tell you whats wrong if you ask him...all he does is cry. If he tries to tell you something there are no words coming out he just mumbles..he can say your name but everything else is mumbling. I feel so bad for him that household is too dysfunctional (sp?) for him.




My husband has a cousin who won't take his 4 year old in to get checked out for a speech delay and it pisses me off so much. He's also terribly unsocial, when he's around other kids he doesn't try to play with them.


One of the aunts has offered to take him in since they claim to not have the time but they won't sign the papers so she can take him. The aunt suspects that he might be autistic or have some other issue that isn't being addressed.


It isn't fair to the child because they're setting him up to enter elementary school behind. It isn't like it will cost them anything because they don't make much and the child is eligible for IHS (Indian Health Services) which will pay for stuff.

KKC Posted 20 May 2009 , 9:49pm
post #21 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbelgard

Quote:
Originally Posted by KKC

I have 2 cousins that are the same way...one of my cousins really didn't have any business becoming a parent for a number of reasons..1)She's an out of control diabetic who does not take care of herself 2) She's in an out of the hospital like every other week because of her blood sugar 3)She's on dialysis for her kidney's 4) the guy she had the baby by is married 5)She has no job, no means of transportation and she lives with her dad (who was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia never takes his meds so he always goes off on a violent rampage)...all they do in her household is yell, yell, curse and yell some more. So thats all the child knows. He's now 5 years old and cannot talk but he can cry and scream. The teachers at his school at the beginning of the year told her that she needed to take him to speech therapy and that the school would pay for it. Of course she did not get off her a$$ to try to take him. My aunt, whose son attends the same school, offered to take him but she said he didn't need it. So now he has to go to a "Special" school that'll help him. So u know what that means right??? The schools, teachers and everyone else has already labeled him "SLOW" with a "learning disability". Poor kid, he can't even tell you whats wrong if you ask him...all he does is cry. If he tries to tell you something there are no words coming out he just mumbles..he can say your name but everything else is mumbling. I feel so bad for him that household is too dysfunctional (sp?) for him.




My husband has a cousin who won't take his 4 year old in to get checked out for a speech delay and it pisses me off so much. He's also terribly unsocial, when he's around other kids he doesn't try to play with them.


One of the aunts has offered to take him in since they claim to not have the time but they won't sign the papers so she can take him. The aunt suspects that he might be autistic or have some other issue that isn't being addressed.


It isn't fair to the child because they're setting him up to enter elementary school behind. It isn't like it will cost them anything because they don't make much and the child is eligible for IHS (Indian Health Services) which will pay for stuff.


I believe some parents are scared to admit when their kids have a problem. I'll be the first to admit that my child struggles in school but I wanted him to get better so I made it a mission to get advice from people whose kids struggle and what they did to help them out. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed because thats life not all kids are going to be geniuses. But when it comes to everyday things like talking and learning ABC's and numbers I feel every child should know how to do those things before they enter Pre-K.

bebea Posted 21 May 2009 , 1:21am
post #22 of 40

that stuff drives me crazy, too! i have a 14 yr old daughter, and my 14 and 16 yr old stepsons are with us, too. (can you say hormone central?!?) i am not working now, but even when i was working full time - i made sure home work was done, studied w/ them for exams, whatever it takes!

but, it doesn't always work out - my daughter went thru summer school for math last summer, and almost had to repeat 8th grade this year (she was in an accident, lost her left eye and missed most of the month of september, 3 surgeries total). but, we managed to pull it out. my 14 yr old son is a good student, just doesn't care much for school. and my oldest boy is repeating 10th grade next year. he decided girls and his truck were much more fun that school - plus, he has been going thru alot this year and it really took a toll on him.

i have beat myself up about their struggles with their grades - i felt like i let them down, didn't do enough. its tough raising kids these days!

Carson Posted 21 May 2009 , 2:08am
post #23 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by bebea

that stuff drives me crazy, too! i have a 14 yr old daughter, and my 14 and 16 yr old stepsons are with us, too. (can you say hormone central?!?) i am not working now, but even when i was working full time - i made sure home work was done, studied w/ them for exams, whatever it takes!

but, it doesn't always work out - my daughter went thru summer school for math last summer, and almost had to repeat 8th grade this year (she was in an accident, lost her left eye and missed most of the month of september, 3 surgeries total). but, we managed to pull it out. my 14 yr old son is a good student, just doesn't care much for school. and my oldest boy is repeating 10th grade next year. he decided girls and his truck were much more fun that school - plus, he has been going thru alot this year and it really took a toll on him.

i have beat myself up about their struggles with their grades - i felt like i let them down, didn't do enough. its tough raising kids these days!




The difference is that you are trying...you care enough to come on here and talk about them and I am sure you are trying to help them get through it. You can't let them down if you don't give up on them!

Its horrible when I see only 5 out of 23 kids in my DDs Kindergarten class complete their home reading or other assignments everyday. These kids are in kindergarten, so obviously its work the parents need to do with them, and its not hard...usually just reading a story book every night and writing down you did it. I think its showing them just how important education is to your family, we make it a priority to get these small assignments done so DD knows just how much we value school and her education.

Karema Posted 4 Jun 2009 , 1:08pm
post #24 of 40

[/quote] Is this the same SIL that you had the problem with from the bake sale?[/quote]

Yeah this is the same SIL and I have to say that she drives me crazy sometimes. This is the same woman who wants to get Social Security for her 3 year old daughter because when she was born she had to have surgery to put in a shunt. She is absolutely perfect but she thinks that she should get SS in case she ends up in the hospital again. Oh give me a break! If that's the case all parents should get SS in case their child ends up in the hospital. I understand that she had to have surgery when she was born but has only been in the hospital twice since then. Once to go through surgery again because of an infection and the other time because she had a stomach virus. She hasn't worked in three years because she is staying home in case her daughter gets sick or her son misbehaves in school!

She runs to the hospital for her daughter every chance she gets to build her SS case. And you can believe that she doesn't leave her side. She sends her son to her mothers house and that is where he stays until her daughter is out the hospital. I think that is so irresponsible as a parent to not even spend some time with your son because your daughter is sick. The daughters father doesn't even come to the hospital because he said that he has another daughter that is in school so he can't just sit there all day. (Not to mention he doesn't pay a dime of child support and she is still sleeping with him) So her son has to suffer and not have a mother for a week or two. If she knows he has behavior problems why not take some time to be with him to show him that she loves him as well?

Like I said before she is a piece of work. I haven't had her work for me since and I don't plan to if I don't have to. I've been trying to find someone else to watch my kids as well so I don't even have to be bothered with her that much.

mcaulir Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 1:39am
post #25 of 40

The funniest story of uninterested parents I have was the note I received from one family halfway through the year that began 'Dear Sir/Madam'.

The family obviously spoke so little about what happened at school with their kids that they didn't even know if their child's full-time teacher was male or female!

OfficerMorgan Posted 5 Jun 2009 , 3:52am
post #26 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by ziggytarheel



I've heard a statistic quoted several times that the number one predictor of spending time in jail is your reading level in 3rd grade. I don't remember how the stat goes, but if you aren't reading by the end of 3rd grade, the odds are incredibly high that you will end up in jail. When parents don't step up, others need to, but it's pretty hard to replace what a parent can/should do for a child.




Most of the kids in our neighborhood are reading (Bob books, etc) in Pre K. I cannot imagine not reading in 3rd grade.

I have a very dear friend whose mother suffered from depression and she did not read until 4th grade, because her mother was too sick to notice her daughter not thriving. In turn, however, her 4 year old is already reading and has a plethora of books because she was trying to give her child what she did not have.

just_for_fun Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 2:49am
post #27 of 40

I understand that it is difficult for parents to admit that something is wrong with their child. In January, we realized that there is a problem with my son's elbows (he turned 1 year old that week). I was depressed for a week, I did almost no housework, but you better believe I was on the phone with every specialist that I heard of, til I was advised not to do surgery, instead I run with him to therapy, the best therapist is so busy so even though it's Early Intervention, she cannot come to my house. He fights and cries, but I know it's for his good. Every night, I put one arm in a splint, it's not easy but he has learned that it is not negotiable. I also do alot of excercises with him that he hates. But in 4 months, we already see a huge difference. I heard from someone else that uses the same therapist that I'm her "best parent".

Being a parent is a responsibility, and if you're not ready to step up to the plate and take care of any issues your child might have, then you may not be ready to be a parent.

It's so sad that all of us will eventually have to pay for this lack of caring by these parents, either through interventions for their kids if it's caught while their young enough, or through the crime, welfare, that is bound to happen, and the kids that they will have that they won't be able to afford.

mombabytiger Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 4:01pm
post #28 of 40

You don't know what goes on in a child's home. Maybe the mother has been sick. Maybe both parents are having to work two jobs to make ends meet. Maybe there are marital problems. Maybe one parent is trying to do it all because the other one won't pitch in and help. Maybe the child is just stupid.

I'm glad you all are such perfect parents and willing to give up your lives for your kids. There are just as many not-perfect parents who wish they could do the same, but circumstances prevent it.

A little less finger-pointing and a little more help would be nice.

It takes a village.

Karema Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 4:46pm
post #29 of 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by mombabytiger

You don't know what goes on in a child's home. Maybe the mother has been sick. Maybe both parents are having to work two jobs to make ends meet. Maybe there are marital problems. Maybe one parent is trying to do it all because the other one won't pitch in and help. Maybe the child is just stupid.

I'm glad you all are such perfect parents and willing to give up your lives for your kids. There are just as many not-perfect parents who wish they could do the same, but circumstances prevent it.

A little less finger-pointing and a little more help would be nice.

It takes a village.




My SIL thinks it takes a village to raise a child as well so I guess the two of you have that in common. I totally understand if people have circumstances that cause them not to parent to the best of their ability but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about a parent who does not work and sells her foodstampps to pay rent and can't hardly afford clothes for her kids but refuses to get a job because she wants to sit at home all day. Then she want the government to take care of her and her kids so she can sit home! So if you are here to say that I'm wrong then so be it but she needs to get off her lazy behind and take care of her kids especially since she is a single parent and the only one there to care for them. If her son is failing in school why can't she help him. She is sitting right there. She would rather send him to several programs to keep him busy she says instead of just facing the truth that he needs her. So don't come here with all those excuses because that's what they are. If you're going to be a parent then act like one! The child does come first after you make sure that you are ok to take care of them, and if you don't think so than than they should be sterilized! And then to say that "Maybe the child is just Stupid"! Tells us how ignorant you really are for calling a child stupid. No child is stupid they just have stupid parents!

mombabytiger Posted 9 Jun 2009 , 5:02pm
post #30 of 40

You are proving my point by calling me "ignorant". You don't know me. You don't know my backstory. As it happens, I have a law degree from the University of Virginia. I have five children. One of them is in law school and one of them is barely making it through the 4th grade. Same parents. Same parenting style. The "maybe he's just stupid" is in reference to an old Bill Cosby routine where he talked about going to teacher conferences and hearing that his son "could do the work" if only he applied himself. Bill Cosby said it would be much easier on everybody if the teacher would simply say, "Your son is stupid". Then everyone could relax.

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