Do You Make Cakes For Friends? (Rant)

Lounge By pebblez87 Updated 20 May 2009 , 9:38pm by JaimeAnn

pebblez87 Posted 15 May 2009 , 7:57pm
post #1 of 33

i think i just did my last cake for a friend so it was her daughter 2nd birthday and it happened to be the same week as my daughters, i did the ultimate nice thing and offered to do hers as well instead of a local grocery sheet cake. Well she picked a huge 12 in 10 in 8 in stacked cake i told her buy the cake mixes and oreos( cookies n cream filling) and then i will just ask for 20 bucks for the rest and what not i know im a sucker. Well i did it all royal icing homemade buttercream the works we ended up with a large tinkerbell cake (its in my gallery) and i even delivered it she said she had some more things to buy for the party she would get the money to me in a couple days. Well i hadnt heard from her in a couple days it was now tuesday and i text asking if we can meet for the money i get a sure and then minutes later supposidly husband texts saying i thought all we had to do it buy cake mix if you would have told us we would have bought it all, from there i kindly told him well me asking for 20 dollars is way cheeper then your dozen 1/2 eggs the 4 sticks butter 2 cups crisco 4lbs powdered sugar 3 cake boards a box dowels merengue powder and so on they agreeed to pay and now here i am friday still no measly 20 dollars im about to scream i guess i should have forseen this she was the same girl who is so cheap she has me do her hair and never pays got mad when i was 7 months pregnant and was too tired to dye and highlight her hair ugh i cant believe this

have any of u had this happen? and its suppose to be ur friend?

32 replies
Stephi1 Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:02pm
post #2 of 33

Friend? I think not!

patticakesnc Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:06pm
post #3 of 33

yep, I understand. I have had people do the same way.

I actually did what was suppose to be a large event a few weeks ago. It was a real estate co grand opening. I baked almost 300 cupcakes for it. Guess what... 1 person showed up. Well, the owners wanted to buy some cupcakes so I sold her some (at discount may I ad) and I just got the letter from my bank that her check bounced! I got it 2 days ago and I have tried contacting her but she won't answer my emails! I am so livid! I don't normally take checks but this wasn't just someone off the street....guess I would have been better off with a stranger off the street really. At least then it wouldn't be someone I thought was nice and I had become friends with.

Jayde Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:09pm
post #4 of 33

Cute cake!

I would chalk it up to a learning experience this time. She doesnt sound like much of a friend unless she wants something...

Next time this so-called-friend asks you to do a cakey favor, I would be totally polite and sweet and say, "No, I dont think I can do it. Honestly, I wasnt paid promptly last time, and I was doing you a big favor. I am not going to be able to do cakes for you because I value our friendship, and I dont want there to be any animosity between us. Especially over a silly cake." Then smile sweetly and walk away.

That'll shut her up.... icon_twisted.gif

ladeebug Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:12pm
post #5 of 33

Cut your losses. This is no friend.

AverageMom Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:16pm
post #6 of 33

You just paid $20 to learn a hard lesson...she's not a friend!

Misdawn Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:16pm
post #7 of 33

I have to agree.

ASimpleBaker Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:22pm
post #8 of 33

A very cute cake! I am sorry, but that does not sound like any friend I would want. She is willing to abuse you, and apparently this is not the first time. MY question is why are you allowing her to walk all over you this way? You sound like a wonderful friend, but she obviously has little respect for you. I would send one last e-mail or message telling her how sad you are that she didn't value your friendship over the $20.00 you asked to make her daughter's beautiful custom birthday cake. ( a pitful amount which did not even cover the ingredients you provided..and of course I am not including decorating time and skill).

I have cheap friends who do not disrespect and abuse me. Cheap does not equal a terrible friend.

terrig007 Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:25pm
post #9 of 33

Unfortunately I think we've all been down this road with our "so called" friends. It is tough though. The cake was adorable though if that helps.
Don't beat yourself up, we all did this at one time and had to learn the hard way.

floridagal Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:37pm
post #10 of 33

I am so sorry. I agree with everyone else - she is definetly NOT a friend. I know people that don't do cakes don't understand the time and money that goes into a custom cake. But you had an agreement before you did the cake. Don't allow her to mistreat you any more. She sounds selfish and immature. Sorry if that sounds rude and judgemental. But you deserve to be treated better.


LittleLinda Posted 15 May 2009 , 8:45pm
post #11 of 33

What did you make for your own daughter? Did you expect to make her a tiered cake with filling when you offered iin the first place?

I know it took a lot of guts for you to ask for the money; and it was ignorant of her and her husband to argue about your agreement. You have learned a hard lesson that has caused you a lot of heartache. I feel bad for you.

The cake came out very pretty.

I do free cakes for my nieces and nephews children as their birthday gifts. For friends, i have done very few free cakes. (Only if I know they cannot afford it.)

pebblez87 Posted 15 May 2009 , 11:02pm
post #12 of 33

oh yeah trust me i know now who my friends are i have no trouble letting this one go i am a no bullshit person i gave her the chance after i was pregnant cause i thought maybe my hormones but be damned if it happened again i intend on getting my money i have her number her husbands number her mothers number who im sure she wont be pleased when she finds out her daughter stiffed somebody for a custom cake i still am livid just makes me mad because she brags about the money he makes yet they cant shell out 20 dollars for goodness sake its a damn tank of gas!

JenniferMI Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:07pm
post #13 of 33

Not a friend.... icon_sad.gif


sweetjan Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:17pm
post #14 of 33

selfish, selfish. Sorry this happened to you

Texas_Rose Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:24pm
post #15 of 33

I've had "friends" like that before. You have to learn how to recognize that kind of person and avoid getting to be friends with them...sounds mean but it's the truth. I avoid anyone who's too interested in the fact that I'm a stay at home mom (they want free babysitting) and anyone who asks the first time I meet them what I do with my kids' outgrown clothes. Some people just give off that user vibe and I've learned to stay away from them. I don't have as many friends as I used to, but I have more money and more time for my family now that I've dropped all the dead weight icon_biggrin.gif

My sister does that about cake, she doesn't seem to understand the cost of the ingredients. I will make a cake for her birthday and one for her husband, but she asks all year for cakes for her friends and for work events and she never wants to pay. I've gotten to the point where I tell her that I'm not turning on the oven without money in my hand.

bourbs Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:24pm
post #16 of 33

Yes I agree you don't need this person in your life. This is total disrespect for anyone, not to mention a someone who is supposed to be a friend.
Hard life lesson learned that someone would lose a good kind friend over 20 dollars.
Maybe you should send her some links to what cake decorators truly charge for their cakes, or better yet, send her this link.

Better friends and luck to you in the future for your kindness to your friends, and, sadly, get the money up front next time.

armywife1 Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:25pm
post #17 of 33

Wow! First of all, I don't think I would have the nerve to ask for such a big cake. I think I would have just asked for whatever size I would have bought at the grocery store. Did you volunteer the 3 tiers, or was that her idea? It is a very cute cake. Hope you get your $20.00. That was very generous of you. thumbs_up.gif

1234me Posted 17 May 2009 , 1:50pm
post #18 of 33

she isn't someone who would be my friend much longer! Sorry you had to have this happen to you!

velcrostiletto Posted 17 May 2009 , 2:02pm
post #19 of 33
Originally Posted by ASimpleBaker

I have cheap friends who do not disrespect and abuse me. Cheap does not equal a terrible friend.

This is sooo true!

What a bad situation, just ridiculous!

lilboo529 Posted 17 May 2009 , 2:15pm
post #20 of 33

My sister in law is like that she is pregnant and wants me to make her babyshower cake next months three tiers with fondant and zebra as if its not enough that i'm doing her cake free of charge she is constantly texting me to ask if i can do the invitations the bows everything....she is still working right now and her excuse is she is to tired and she tells me i have alot of time on my hands because i'm a stay at home mom with a son who is about to turn a years old like i dont have my hands full already on top of it she wants me to do all this other i feel better been bothering me for like a week.

BeeBoos-8599_ Posted 17 May 2009 , 3:04pm
post #21 of 33

It is so funny to read this after the week I just had (reffer to Help I am crying my eyes out in the decorating area) Last night I made the decision to just stop trying to be so damn nice all the time. I have gone above and beyond for friends lately and have been kicked at every turn. After being torn apart over the infamous non daisy cake I used all of the flowers I had made and at the last minute decided to make a cake for a "friend" who was having a spring picnic yesterday. In 4 hours I baked and decorated a very sweet cake with a flower garden design. I had grass on the lower half of the cake, a blue sky with fluffy clouds and even duplicated the company logos for her company and her husbands company (it was a client appreciation party) I suprised her with it and got a totally blank look.

Your story reminds me of a lesson I learned when I first started doing cakes for money. I had a lady that I had met in a parenting chat room and chatted with for 2 years. She lives about 2 hours away from me and was going to meet me half way for the delivery. I made 2 dozen Dora cupcakes and a 2 layer round cake with Dora on it. Called her to see where and when to meet and she says her kid is sick and she can't meet me. I delivered it to her home and accepted a check for payment. Like a dummy I did not stop and cash it at her bank. I got home and deposited it in my bank. It turns out she had written it on a closed account. That was 2 years ago and I have never gotten paid. However, there is a warrent out for her arrest because here that is considered fraud. I hope she gets pulled over for a small traffic issue and ends up in jail.

I just try to remind myself that what goes around comes around. I have decided to not stick my neck out for anyone from here on out. What I do is worth what I charge and if they do not give me a deposit, I am not about to preheat my oven. Sorry about your problem but 20 bucks is cheap tuition for the school of life.

catcreations Posted 17 May 2009 , 3:28pm
post #22 of 33

It sounds like we are similar in our nature, I too am a very nice person and have learned lesson after lesson in this area. I have learned to keep my work and friends seperate, they pay up front or at least half up front. If they do not want to pay for what I do then I tell them it wll not hurt my feelings if they go elsewhere. Sorry for this loss unfortunately friends think they have the right especially if your really nice. I would send an email explaining the time, products it takes and give her the responsibility to take care of what she agreed upon.
Oh by the way I did not see the picture? Where is it?

CakesbyCindi Posted 17 May 2009 , 3:30pm
post #23 of 33

I am just a hobby cake decorator, I have alway made cakes for friends and family, My hubby thinks I don't charge enough. You try to be nice and help people out, some of them appreciate it some think you owe it to them. You have a talent, people tend to want to use that talent, don't let them! I have learned my lesson the hard way too. I think we all have to go to the "School of Hard Knocks" as the other poster have said, learn from it, remember the old saying (blank) me once, shame on you, (blank) me twice, shame on me.

mmdiez10 Posted 17 May 2009 , 3:43pm
post #24 of 33

I do cakes for friends and family. What I do with friends is have them pay for the ingredients and any special tools I might need if they are picking the design (tips, pans, etc). I don't charge them for my labor. If they want to add a little extra, then great. What i do though is either have them buy the stuff and deliver it or get the money up front before starting any part of the cake. That way I am not losing a penny of my own money. It works out great because I get to keep the supplies. I have acquired many pans, tips and gumpaste cutters this way. The key is when offering a free cake is not to let them choose the design because 9 times of 10, they will pick something laborous and expensive. This avoids the hard feelings. The last advice is don't expect the oohs and ahhs when you deliver the cake. They usually have no idea the amount of work that goes into a cake (emotionally and physically). If they rave about it - great. If not, then you are not disappointed.

whatsittoya Posted 17 May 2009 , 3:50pm
post #25 of 33
Originally Posted by pebblez87

oh yeah trust me i know now who my friends are i have no trouble letting this one go i am a no bullshit person i gave her the chance after i was pregnant cause i thought maybe my hormones but be damned if it happened again i intend on getting my money i have her number her husbands number her mothers number who im sure she wont be pleased when she finds out her daughter stiffed somebody for a custom cake i still am livid just makes me mad because she brags about the money he makes yet they cant shell out 20 dollars for goodness sake its a damn tank of gas!

OMG!!! Reading this was excruciatingly painful! NO PUNCTUATION!! Not asking for perfection, but when little or NO punctuation is used, a person has to read and re-read just to get the gist of the post.

en-passant Posted 17 May 2009 , 6:33pm
post #26 of 33

Not only painful, but I was completey out of breath when I was done reading it!

I am blessed with my friends. I have two friends whose kidlets I do cakes for free. They never have any specifics other than flavor and theme. She likes horses, he's into Star Wars this year. Whatever I want to do is fine with them. Some years I pull out the stops and other years I have time for an EI. The kids are thrilled just the same, and the parents are grateful.

pebblez87 Posted 17 May 2009 , 6:46pm
post #27 of 33

sorry for the painful punctuation im not much for writing long things and i wrote it in heat of moment because here i am a week later with all avoiding still going on. I do know where her mother works and im not worried about going and informing her that her daughter has yet to pay for a large 3 tier custom cake you know that huge one at the party ? This girl used to cry poor i gave her a huge bag of my daughters old clothes, would feed her older daughter everytime she was here because she would start cryinh when i would feeed my kids because she was so hungry. Ugh im a sucker im not in a good money place either thats why 20 dollars really irks me because this girl brags how much her husband makes and we bring home a quarter of that amount every week so it really just cant get out of my head

SweetSweetCreations Posted 17 May 2009 , 9:52pm
post #28 of 33

I have been taken advantage of numerous times, these stories are all to familiar. It has caused me to change the way I do things. If it is a gift I get to choose the design. If it is ordered it must be paid for before delivery. I will only do free cakes when I want to make them no matter who wants them. My husband won't let me do cakes anymore if I allow anyone to take advantage of me. He is just tired of me getting my feeling hurt and he says it is an awful expensive hobby, I deserve to be paid.

I love the idea of new tools when you do cakes and I may start doing that with family orders. My Mom always buys me stuff, she is a sucker for the 40% off coupon.

margaretb Posted 19 May 2009 , 8:55am
post #29 of 33

Choke choke -- what awful "friends"! So if you want to spend some time on this (although they pretty clearly have shown you that they think you are ripping them off expecting a whole twenty dollars PLUS cake mixes for a three tier cake), I have a couple ideas. Option one: deliberately misunderstand the husband -- gee, quotefriendunquote, sorry for not breaking down the price. Here is the breakdown: flour - 6 cups - $1.50; Sugar 4 cups - $1.25; baking powder: 3 tsp - $.50; icing sugar: 4 pounds - $6. And put in EVERYTHING. If you aren't sure of the math, post here for help (e.g. what is the cost of 1 tsp of baking powder when a 500 g jar costs 5.97). Include 12 dowels -- $2.97, 3 cake boards -- $3.15. Include sales tax if applicable. 4 box cake mix -- provided by client. EVERYTHING. You can even put in things like: 3 hours baking time - no charge. 2 hours prep and clean up -- no charge. 4 hours decorating -- no charge. 1 hour delivery - no charge. Milage - 15 miles - no charge. 30 minutes assembly -- no charge. And I trust the breakdown will equal more than $20 for the ingredients. Get it? You are pretending you thought that the husband wants to pay the EXACT cost of the ingredients.

Option two, but practically the same thing: Gee, quotefriendunquote, friendhusband said that you just wanted to provide the actual ingredients. If you would rather do that than pay the $20, that is fine with me. Since I've already made and delivered the cake, just replace the supplies I used, and that will be fine. You provided the cake mixes and the oreos, so this is all that is left: 6 cups flour; blah blah blah; 3 TBSP meringue powder (must be Whatever brand, available at Such and Such store). Just bring everything by on Tuesday, and for those things that didn't use a whole container or package, we can just measure them out here and I can store them with my cake supplies. -- For option two, you can be helpful to make your point about how a flat fee of $20 to cover ingredients is WAY cheaper than supplying everything: 6 cups flour (I find the best price for flour is 6.98 per 10 kg bag at Costco); Sugar (Co-op has 10 kg bags for 10.98 right now); Icing Sugar (best price I have found is $XX at XXX per bag)....

traab859 Posted 19 May 2009 , 10:19am
post #30 of 33

I am like Cakesbycindi, my husband doesn't think I charge enough either. Thankfully, when I charge the "just ingredients" price with my friends most of the pay me more that what I asked for. They understand how much time and work goes into making a cake and they appreciate what I do (going that extra mile....etc.) for them. Those are true friends. What you described is not a friend at all. Cut your losses and chalk it up to a learning experience.

Quote by @%username% on %date%