Stay-At-Home Moms??

Lounge By myheartsdesire Updated 25 Apr 2009 , 12:57am by miss-tiff

myheartsdesire Posted 23 Apr 2009 , 1:44pm
post #1 of 17

Are there any stay-at-home moms here?? I need an understanding ear.
I love being with my kids and couldn't imagine someone else takeng care of them all day( besides school) but sometimes it feels like the walls are closing in on me! icon_wink.gif
Anybody got the same problem??
Keep in mind i'm the kind who doesn't have a disposable income, my husband makes just enough to cover basic expenses, no luxuries. We have made sacrifices to make this possible for my family.
i just feel like I need to run away sometimes, to have a conversation with someone over the age of five would be nice! icon_lol.gif

16 replies
msladybug Posted 23 Apr 2009 , 2:21pm
post #2 of 17

I could have typed this. I know exactly where you are coming from. The thought of sending my kids to daycare makes me feel so guilty but I want to get out also. Get away. I am envious that my hubby gets to go to work everyday and get out of the house and talk to adults.
I get to talk to adults but not without a little on there with me.

I am sure most if not all SAHM feel the same way.

-Tubbs Posted 23 Apr 2009 , 3:03pm
post #3 of 17

And I could have written this 10 years ago when I had two tiny children at home and another on the way!

What helps the most is getting together with other moms. If you can, form a babysitting co-op, where you earn credits by looking after other people's kids - if you play this smart you can turn it into a play-date, which means your kids have fun and leave you alone for a couple of hours!

I did go back to work part-time and LOVED it! For a couple of days a week I wasn't just someone's mum, but people actually listened to me! Also, nobody followed me into the bathroom!!!

Keep busy and try not to resent your kids or your husband. Hang in there, try to have fun - it will pass and one day you'll be glad you had this wonderful time with your little ones.

turtle3264 Posted 23 Apr 2009 , 3:52pm
post #4 of 17

It can be tough at times. I can not imagine someone else watching my child for me all day long. I didn't want to miss out on the 1st steps, 1st words... What has helped me was going to the library for story time. It is 1 day a week in the morning...so everyone else there is a SAHM too. I feel like I can't complain about being at home, because working moms wouldn't understand. My son is 4 and will be starting to school in August. These past few years have been tough, but I wouldn't change them for anything. PM me if you need to talk to someone.

Texas_Rose Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 12:38am
post #5 of 17

I know just how you feel. I've been a SAHM for 4 years now. I tried going back to work a year and a half ago, and found that I couldn't keep up with my physically demanding job and take care of my family as well as I was accustomed to doing, and also that with the job I had, the money I made was barely enough to cover the extra expenses of working. I was only working three days a week but it took me the rest of the week to recover. I only worked for a month, then I gave up.

It does get easier when your oldest goes to school...there are plenty of other moms there to make friends with, and you can find playmates for your younger kids. You can also volunteer at the school if you want a way to get out of the house for a while. The only thing you really have to watch out for is the moms who think that because you stay home to take care of your children, you'd like to watch their children also...for free...all the time. I've learned to identify those moms from a few words of conversation and to make excuses not to give them my cell number icon_lol.gif

One thing that helps a little bit is to get a sitter every now and then, so you can have a night out with your husband without the little ones. If money's tight, try to find another couple to trade babysitting with...for example, you watch their kids at your house one Saturday night, then the next weekend they watch your kids at their house on Saturday night, so each couple gets to have a date night without having to come up with the extra cash for a babysitter. Then make a plan for something to do with your husband. I've gotten a sitter before and then when my husband and I were out of the house we couldn't think of a single thing to do.

You know what's funny too...I was really unhappy with staying home. I felt like I was missing a big part of normal life. Then I broke my leg in February and I'm still in a wheelchair and I can't do all the things I usually do around the house and with the kids. It's made me realize that my usual life staying home with the kids is pretty much perfect and I should have been enjoying it more. It sounds really corny but that's the best way to put it.

CookieD-oh Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 1:33am
post #6 of 17

As everyone else has already said ^^^^^^^, I know how you feel. I quit my job when I had my second baby, and the finances got tight, quick!! There are days that I just wish the phone would ring so I could talk to an adult. But, it's worth it to be there for the kids.

Partly in order to get some adult conversation, I joined a mom's Bible study at my church. Lots of women all in the same boat...the stories we tell about our boys icon_redface.gif Also, now that spring is here, you can go to parks/playgrounds. There are usually moms at the parks who are happy for some adult interaction. Story time at the library is a good place to meet people, too. Our local Barnes and Noble has story time as well; you should check it out in your area!

michellenj Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 1:33am
post #7 of 17

It is really really hard staying home with the kids. I take them to McDonalds to play in the play area when it's hot or bad weather, and call other preschool moms and meet up at local parks to play. Also, I joined a gym to get 2 *free* hours of babysitting a day, the working out is just a bonus! I think it's great to shower at they gym and be left alone. That certainly isn't the case at my house.

michellenj Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 1:34am
post #8 of 17

It is really really hard staying home with the kids. I take them to McDonalds to play in the play area when it's hot or bad weather, and call other preschool moms and meet up at local parks to play. Also, I joined a gym to get 2 *free* hours of babysitting a day, the working out is just a bonus! I think it's great to shower at they gym and be left alone. That certainly isn't the case at my house.

CookieD-oh Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 1:42am
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I think it's great to shower at they gym and be left alone. That certainly isn't the case at my house.




My son would be heartbroken if he couldn't give me updates on Dora during my shower icon_lol.gif

janelwaters Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 2:01am
post #10 of 17

Oh you can count me in that mix also!!! I did join a mom's group at church. It is a group of mom who have children under the age of 5 (or 5 and under). We meet once a month for a "business" meeting and then it gets followed up with some type of social - a speaker, bunco, a quick class - anything - we just get to be around other women in the same boat!! We eat and drink and talk and it is WONDERFUL! The dues are only $30 for the year.

Also with the Mom's group we were each put into playgroups consisting of 5 - 7 moms with children in the same age groups - we meet once a week and almost always do something free.

I am on the computer a lot so if you want to talk PM me! I get it!!

Janel - mom to MacKenzie 2 1/2 going on 22

xstitcher Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 2:15am
post #11 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by CookieD-oh

Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

I think it's great to shower at they gym and be left alone. That certainly isn't the case at my house.



My son would be heartbroken if he couldn't give me updates on Dora during my shower icon_lol.gif




At least you have just the one giving you updates! icon_lol.gif I don't think I've been to the bathroom and been left alone in years........

Hey Michellenj I think I no longer have an excuse not to work out icon_sad.gif, lol. I'm definitely going to check in to this.

I haven't worked since my 1st son was born (with the exception of the 1 day I went back when he was 8 weeks old). DH and I worked for the same company and we worked it out with our respective managers so that we each only worked 6 hours. We figured this way we would only lose 1/2 a pay check rather than a whole one. My DH barely made it for the 6 hours, I've lost track how many times he called me begging me to come home. Now, he goes on and on about how hard his job is and that I am so lucky to "just" have to stay at home. I think he thinks that I sit around and eat bonbons all day like Peggy Bundy. icon_lol.gif How quickly he forgets that he couldn't even cope for 1 day with one baby and I deal with 4 of them each and every day and on top of that I home school too....

To the OP, just like some of the other moms said it could have been us writing your post.

summernoelle Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 3:26am
post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by michellenj

It is really really hard staying home with the kids. I take them to McDonalds to play in the play area when it's hot or bad weather, and call other preschool moms and meet up at local parks to play. Also, I joined a gym to get 2 *free* hours of babysitting a day, the working out is just a bonus! I think it's great to shower at they gym and be left alone. That certainly isn't the case at my house.



I do all these things, too! My biggest help is making a priority to do at least 1 fun thing every day so life doesn't get bogged down in laundry and dishes. Like the park, the mall, library, aquarium, art museum, etc. And remember it won't last forever, which is very bittersweet, heavy on the bitter, really. icon_smile.gif

navywifetrat Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 6:08pm
post #13 of 17

I think all SAHM's feel the same way! I haven't worked for 12 years and have enjoyed it most of the time. There are always days that my kids continue to drive me nuts. I once saw a bumper sticker that said "I wish I was a missing person." I died laughing because some days after being home with them all day long that is exactly how I feel.

I don't think our spouses can really understand how exhausting it is to stay at home. My kids are all in school now so I have at least 4 hours a day to myself and it is nice. Hang in there, enjoy them because they do grow up quickly and before you know it you will be kicking them out for college.

FH_Cakes Posted 24 Apr 2009 , 11:29pm
post #14 of 17

Ditto to that! I too am a SAHM of 2 little boys. I went to meetup . com and found a local mommy group to have playdates from time to time. It has really helped. Good luck!

myheartsdesire Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 12:27am
post #15 of 17

Thanks for understanding!! Its good to know I'm not the only one. I know it will all be over soon and I need to treasure it. It is just hard when nap time is my shower, rest, reading, exercise, and lunch time. Nap time is not that long. icon_smile.gif I do love it though. I've just had a long week.

hilly Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 12:56am
post #16 of 17

Add me too! I'm a sahm to 3 little ones. I definitely recommend the gym's 2 hour per day daycare, couldn't be a better deal. Plus library storytime, the park, the mall playground... There are so many things to do during the day, it's just a matter of finding them.

miss-tiff Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 12:57am
post #17 of 17

I had one of those days today, too! My daughter is almost 4 and my son is almost 1. I had to put Sleeping Beauty's shoes on during my shower, and then she complained I got her wet! icon_razz.gif It just got better from there, culminating in her whining that dinner was gross and my son refusing to take his second nap. Happy Friday to me!

Mother's Day just doesn't come soon enough, does it?

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