Is It In Poor Taste?

Baking By GeminiRJ Updated 19 Apr 2009 , 1:42am by luv2bake6

kansaslaura Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 3:16pm
post #31 of 85

A cookie bouquet is an awesome idea. I've taken cupcake bouquets for the very reason and gotten hugs and thanks I never got with flowers. The cookies show someone went to a whole lot more effort than picking up the phone or stopping by the store. Flowers make me more sad at times.. weird maybe.

And, as far as casseroles go.. yeppers! Melvira I'm right along side with you, it's perfect for such occasions.

Bake away--make their day!

cindy58 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 4:11pm
post #32 of 85

It would only be in poor taste if you used a bad recipe!

Sorry, couldn't help it. : ) I think your ideas sound just right.

RobynD Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 4:26pm
post #33 of 85

I think this is such a nice idea. If the secretary does not like it -- then tell her to take up a collection from the employees and that you will just send the bouquet from yourself. It is a beautiful idea and you already know the family likes your cookies. I say yes to making them!

indydebi Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 4:41pm
post #34 of 85

It's already been said ... people take food in for family deaths all the time and cookies are no different than any other kind of food.

I just hate funeral flowers. My biggest peeve is people who send planters to a funeral with the specific thought of "....that way they can have something to take home afterward."

Right. Like the first thing I want is a SOUVENIER of my husband/child's funeral sitting in my house!

My family knows that if something ever happens, I will instruct the funeral director to keep all planters out of the viewing room and NONE of them are to be sent to my home. So I've put them on notice to not even waste their money on planters. I won't even accept delivery of them.

GeminiRJ Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 5:34pm
post #35 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

I just hate funeral flowers. My biggest peeve is people who send planters to a funeral with the specific thought of "....that way they can have something to take home afterward."

Right. Like the first thing I want is a SOUVENIER of my husband/child's funeral sitting in my house!




And with my brown thumb, it's a death sentence for the poor plant!

I was able to convince the secretary that decorated cookies would not be unseemly as a condolence gift. I suggested we get a nice, big basket and place the cookies in the center, stuck into a block of floral foam. Surrounding that will be an assortment of fruit. I think she was just so set on the fruit thing that once it was added to the cookie bouquet, she "got with the program". The added bonus will be that the boss's wife is on a diet, so we'll be including something that she can eat without feeling guilty. I'm thinking the fruit will add balast to the basket and keep it from tipping over....another bonus!

So it's home from work tonight to start baking and decorating! I'll be sure to post pictures.

bethola Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 5:56pm
post #36 of 85

Yes, please remember to post the pics! I think those little kiddos will LOVE you for COOKIES! Of course, I'm sure your employer and his wife will as well. Glad the secretary "got with the program" so "we" on CC wouldn't have to deal with her! LOL

Beth in KY

KonfectionKonnection Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 6:01pm
post #37 of 85

This has already been said, but I, too, think this is a great idea. The way you describe the cookies (clouds, suns, flowers w/ kind words)--sounds like a lovely idea.

I recently lost my mom--and my granny fell the same week, having hip surgery unexpectedly during the service for my mom--and what really meant the most to my sister and I that week was all the ladies in the neighborhood (all really good cooks) bringing in such a nice variety of foods, along w/ their kind words and hugs. They were such a big help.

I think the combination of cookies and fruit sounds like a win-win for everyone. Looking forward to your pictures when you get done.

TracyLH Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 6:28pm
post #38 of 85

GeminiRJ - I think you have an excellent idea. I like idea of combining the cookie and the fruit. It appeases the secretary, gives the wife something to eat as well and pulls away from any concern of it seeming like a normal 'festive' bouquet. If it still seems to 'cheery' with the cookies being on sticks, do you like the idea of individually wrapping them in cello bags and nestling them in with the fruit? The only problem is that then they don't show as much, but that is the only thing I can think of. Either way, this is a sincere gesture that I am sure will be appreciated during a difficult time.

KHalstead - I am touched that you shared your experience and am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thankyou very much for sharing your view of the situation.

dmhart Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 8:30pm
post #39 of 85

I share the same feels on flowers. In the past 3 years I have loss a 6 year old niece to an accident, my grandmother and grandfather (my grandmother died on my birthday two years ago), a very close family friend to accidental overdose, and my brother to sucide (may 22 will be a year). Flowers do nothing to help the pain and hurt that those times. The things that meant the most to me were friends that drew near and reached out with their hearts. You do that by giving of youself. Your bosses family will know your gift came from your heart because you gave of you time and thought of them.

indydebi Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 8:43pm
post #40 of 85

dmhart, that made me cry.

WHen I was 16 years old, my 3 month old brother died. He never came home from the special care nursery. It was the first time we "hosted" (lack of a better word) a funeral. And you're right ... it was the people who showed up, and cried and hugged that really impacted me. It made me understand, at a very very young age, the value and importance of a funeral ... they are not for the dead, they are for the living.

dmhart Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 9:26pm
post #41 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

It made me understand, at a very very young age, the value and importance of a funeral ... they are not for the dead, they are for the living.






That is so true. It is to help those left to going on. When my brother died I had a lot of people to reach and help me through it but a lot sent flowers, cards etc... and I am not putting those thing down But it was the time spent with me or feeding my family or the phone calls in the days after and the unexpected meals that I realized the people that understood my grief and loss. And that truly care about me and my family. I do appreciate all that has been done for my family in the years past through all of our losses but I truly understand how important it is to reach out from your heart to those who have lost a loved one.

luv2bake6 Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 10:04pm
post #42 of 85

I agree with all of you.
When i lost my daughter in a car accident a few years ago, i truly appreciated the meals, platters, and of course the condolences. Even better were the cookie platters, candy, and toys that people brought for my other kids who were too young to understand what was going on.

Any flowers, plants, etc went in the garbage as i had no time nor desire to tend to them. Besides, who want a memory of a terrible loss to live on in the house when everyone is just trying to move on?

I look forward to seeing your pics.

Melvira Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 10:45pm
post #43 of 85

You guys stop it right now! I can't get anything done if I am bawling over here! icon_cry.gif

I think the combo of fruit and cookies is outstanding. Very classy, very thoughtful, very delicious. thumbs_up.gif

yankeegal Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 10:54pm
post #44 of 85

Gemini-you are so thoughtful. I am sure you will come up with something beautiful. thumbs_up.gif

mommyle Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 11:07pm
post #45 of 85

I would just like to add that even if you made some "fun" cookies especially for the kids, that would be hugely appreciated by the adults. It's nice to have a smile or a laugh in the middle of a difficult situation. I know I enjoy a good laugh in the middle of a crisis.

dmhart Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 11:12pm
post #46 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyle

I would just like to add that even if you made some "fun" cookies especially for the kids, that would be hugely appreciated by the adults. It's nice to have a smile or a laugh in the middle of a difficult situation. I know I enjoy a good laugh in the middle of a crisis.




I agree, it helps to have a breath of life in the storm of a crisis. Especially when you have children involved, just to remind them that life will go on.

njwoods Posted 14 Apr 2009 , 11:40pm
post #47 of 85

hello all,
I think it is a great idea and you should post some pictures for us later.

Another great way to cheer up the kids is with some Jelly Belly jelly beans, or other candy. Maybe all in the same basket for them?

for fun and good taste...candy

Pebbles13 Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:00am
post #48 of 85

Gemini - I can tell that you are a very nice and caring person. Your idea for the cookies and fruit is very thoughtful and I'm sure will be appreciated.

GeminiRJ Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 11:50am
post #49 of 85

I am reminded, yet again, at how caring and helpful the CC community is. To dmhart and luv2bake6, I'll add my condolences. I know the hurt never fully goes away. We lost my cousin a few years back to a bizarre virus (symptoms: a rash and fatigue. Final complication: cardiac arrest). I think of him often, probably more than when he was alive! Since his death, I have gladly & enthusiastically supplied baked goods and other food stuffs to the church for funerals. No matter how busy I am, I never turn down a request. You're all in my thoughts and prayers!

dmhart Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 12:14pm
post #50 of 85

GeminiRJ thank for your sweet comments. Reading a forum like this reminds me that we all have had losses in our lives, and we each need to respond to others around us in times of need the same way we have received in our times.

It is wonderful to have a place like CC to talk with others, and it seems that we always find lessons of life here, along with great cake knowledge. And that is a awesome thing. Thank you all for being a great cake and caring community to be a part of. thumbs_up.gif

GeminiRJ Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 12:42pm
post #51 of 85

And it just occurred to me that I forgot to give my condolences to indydebi! I KNEW I had missed someone. Sixteen was pretty young to have to deal with the death of a baby brother, and the impact on the family had to have been huge.

indydebi Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 2:53pm
post #52 of 85

Gemini, this part will get to you ..... he died on our mom's 40th birthday.

Melvira Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 2:58pm
post #53 of 85

Oh, that's wrong Debi. That breaks my heart...

GeminiRJ Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:11pm
post #54 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Gemini, this part will get to you ..... he died on our mom's 40th birthday.




Awww...now everyone will wonder why I'm crying in front of my computer! That is so incredibly sad. I have to believe there is a special place in heaven for mom's like yours, and anyone who has experienced such a crushing blow.

notjustcake Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:11pm
post #55 of 85

I don't think is tacky but don't send them to the funeral home, send them to which ever house the families will go and eat

alvarezmom Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:21pm
post #56 of 85

It's not the norm-but it's a very nice idea.

GeminiRJ Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:26pm
post #57 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by notjustcake

I don't think is tacky but don't send them to the funeral home, send them to which ever house the families will go and eat




The funeral was earlier this week in Kentucky (we're in Nebraska), so it definitely won't be going to the funeral home. My boss and his family are driving back today. We'll have the basket at the office to give him to take home on Friday.

RiLinNa Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:32pm
post #58 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeminiRJ

... I have gladly & enthusiastically supplied baked goods and other food stuffs to the church for funerals. No matter how busy I am, I never turn down a request. You're all in my thoughts and prayers!


I think this is important too. We are the same way after my MIL passed. Because of the hope and faith in people that had been restored with so many caring people sending food and gifts, we also will never turn down a request for someone that needs it even if we dont know that person.

Your gift really goes beyond the initial thought. When someone puts heart into a gift it inspires the receiver for quite a while to come and affects those around them.

JaimeAnn Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:32pm
post #59 of 85

My father passed away a couple years ago and I know we would have loved to get something like that. Really all the flowers got to be a little too much and it was very depressing to go back to my Mom's house everyday and look at all the wilting flowers. The best things we received were food items cause it kept the kids occupied and it was one less thing we had to deal with. When a florist rang the doorbell we cringed , But when someone delivered food (sandwich platters, and deli trays were the best) We were like whew one less thing we don't have to think about.

I think the cookie bouquet is a great idea.

Tita9499 Posted 15 Apr 2009 , 3:44pm
post #60 of 85

My OB put me on bedrest when I was 4 months pregnant with my twins. We had a hospitality committee at our church who set up a schedule to make and deliver food for my DH and I (thank God because he can't cook for nada!). I was all for the food food, but got really excited when someone was thoughtful enough to bring snacks for me to get through the days (in between meals).

I think your idea is very thoughtful, personal and creative. The secretary maybe jealous because she didn't think of it first. I say go ahead and do it and do it knowing it will be appreciated (because it will be).

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