Any Support From Your Husband?

Decorating By mrscromer Updated 13 Apr 2009 , 5:45am by Ruth0209

mrscromer Posted 13 Apr 2009 , 5:18am
post #1 of 2

I finally found something I like to do. Making cakes and the satification that I made someone's day a little brighter. But I'm starting to believe that my husband does not support my new found passion. Yet, he has found is passion riding snowmobiles and thinks that I should also have the same passion as he does. I'm a stay at home mom since I gave birth to OUR son, I feel like most of the time he is just mine. I'm trying to start a business doing this and it just seems like my husband isn't pleased with it. Not once have I've bitched about his hobby, but when it comes to something I enjoy, it's a problem. I really don't want to give it up, but what else am I to do? Love my husband, but I'm tired of being treated like what I do doesn't matter. Can anyone suggest something?

Thanks

1 reply
Ruth0209 Posted 13 Apr 2009 , 5:45am
post #2 of 2

It sounds to me like it's time for a very serious but non-blaming heart-to-heart with your husband about how you feel. When you say "it seems like my husband isn't pleased with it..." that makes me think you're interpreting some kind of response, or lack of response from him when you talk about it as opposed to him saying outright that he doesn't like the idea. Seems to me you need to just say, "When you say or do xxx, it leads me to believe that you do not support this idea. Is that true? If so, why not?" and talk it out.

If you really think you're serious about it as a business, maybe it would help to lay it out to him in a straightforward money focused way. By that I mean, here's what it'll cost to get set up and here's what I think I can make. If it's not the financial aspect that's worrying him, maybe you need to lay out the investment in time away from him and your baby.

I think I'd point out to him that you feel you alway support his interests, and it's important to you that he should do the same for you. I think sometimes we women have a hard time just telling people what we need from them in plain talk. It's a very good habit to develop with men, because most of them just don't get the subtle approach!

I know what you mean about wanting you to just like what he likes. My DH did that for a long time. He wanted me to skydive, he wanted me to ride on his Harley, he wanted me to join his pool (billiards) league. Finally I just said, "Look, don't try to make your fun, my fun. Go do those things and enjoy them. But I don't enjoy them and I'm not going to do them with you. You knew who I was when you married me, and you knew I didn't like those kinds of things. I haven't tried to change you into someone else in our marriage, so stop trying to change me." He was pretty shocked, but it did the trick. He's finally stopped trying to get me on that Harley because he's finally resigned himself to the fact that it will NEVER happen! BTW, I feel the same way about snowmobiles. SUPER YUK.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It sucks to feel that your husband isn't there for you. I'm so fortunate that my DH is my best cheerleader when it comes to my cake business. Good luck!!

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