I Promise It's Not Just That I'm Lazy ... Need Advice :)

Decorating By emiyeric Updated 28 Mar 2009 , 1:41pm by emiyeric

emiyeric Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 12:47am
post #1 of 18

So a friend of mine from work is getting married, and they're throwing her a bachelorette party. I've already committed to doing the cake, which will be a gift box one with a negligee on top with her medical school colors on it (it seems like all I do lately is underwear-related, heehee ... look at my last pic if you don't know what I mean).
Now, I also belong to a small work group with her, where we meet once a week, and which involves all the same people who would potentially go to the bachelorette party, but also two group leaders who will not be going to the party. Now THEY decided that they wanted to throw a small party for my friend as well on behalf of our group, just a small lunch thing as a surprise before our meeting this Monday. One of the group members volunteered to pick up Indian food and everybody will be getting her back for the amount of money she spends on it. One of the group leaders "volunteered" me for the cake, which absolutely makes me seethe, since nobody will be getting me back for the ingredients involved in the cake (not to mention time or overhead costs), and I am already making the other cake for later the same week for my friend. Nothing against my friend - she's wonderful and I love her, but I don't think I need to be volunteered to do two separate cakes because our group leaders decided one party is not enough and they want to throw her another with my free cake. Things are tight enough for my famly as it is right now, three kids and all (I know I don't need to explain this to anyone, as everybody's in the same boat) ... and I don't appreciate being thrown in as the dessert provider without asking me or considering the trouble I would have to go through. Obviously none of these people know what goes into making a nice cake, (insert here the usual rant about it not just being flour and eggs).

So! I have half a mind to stop by the grocery store and pick up $8 worth of brownies and call it a day. Please, tell me I'm right, or talk some sense into me, either way! I'm just not happy about this whole situation (I wasn't there for when the decision was made or I would have said something), and haven't even started making a cake yet icon_razz.gif.

Thanks for any suggestions!

-Emi.

17 replies
KatieKake Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 12:57am
post #2 of 18

It's simple, tell the group leader that your booked and do not have the time to make the second cake. Now you can be booked with a cake, or maybe a date with your kids, to do something special. Booked is booked.

Kiddiekakes Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:02am
post #3 of 18

Well..I hear yah!! No one likes to be volunteered to make something unless they decide it's what they want to do.I would politely speak to the coordinater of both events and state although you don't mind providing a cake for one function....two is too much to absorb the cost of all the ingredients etc...I would just say no to both.If someone asks tell them straight! It is a financial issue as well and you can't /don't have the means to pay for it all on your own.

Ahhh Ditto to katie's advice!! Tell them your booked..Period!

ceshell Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:04am
post #4 of 18

My gut reaction was: get the brownies and call it a day! But in all honesty, I do think it would be appropriate for you to bring up the issue with the coworkers who volunteered you for the "bonus" party. Just level with them: "I am so flattered that you want me to do the cake but I am already putting a lot of time and effort into the cake for the party on x/y/z (date). Do you mind if I just pick something up at the store? Or, does everyone want to chip in for the price of another of my custom cakes; I figure for this sized group it would be around $xx."

It's never rude to tell the truth!

If you don't want to be so blunt, you can always hedge out with the "I'm booked" excuse as just mentioned.

Brownie1954 Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:05am
post #5 of 18

I agree with KatieKake...Let her know you are booked and you can't do this cake. It's rude to volunteer you for this without asking you first. It hasn't got one thing to do with you being lazy....Don't spend any time feeling guilty about this either!

Deb_ Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:06am
post #6 of 18

Yeah, I agree. It really is unfair for them to volunteer you to make this cake too. Do they know you are already making the other cake for the bachelorette party?

I think I'd either e-mail one of them or call and say something like "Gee, I'm very sorry I won't be able to provide the cake for the luncheon, you see I've already committed to making her bachelorette cake and I just won't be able to fit another one into my schedule that week".

Maybe suggest that someone make some brownies/cookies or something simple since they'll be so much Indian food nobody will want a big piece of cake too.

Good luck!
Deb

Naturepixie Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:07am
post #7 of 18

Politely tell them "I'm sorry, I wasn't here when this came up. I'm very sorry but I am unable to make the cake as I am already booked. But I have all ready volunteered to make the cake for the other party."

They can order another cake from somewhere else. I'm sure your friend will understand. icon_smile.gif

SugarFrosted Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:08am
post #8 of 18

(1) Present the person who volunteered you for the second party with a bill.
or
(2) Say " I am so sorry, that just does not work for me, I wish I could but I just can't fit it in" or whatever you deem appropriate.

No one can volunteer you without your permission.

zoomzone Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:09am
post #9 of 18

I agree with ceshell.

Cakeonista Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:18am
post #10 of 18

Definitly agree with ceshell maybe you can sell one of the cakes, thats fair enough since your doing the other for free. Good Luck

artscallion Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:20am
post #11 of 18

Other people can't volunteer you to do something you don't consent to, unless you let them. People think fully decorated cake grows on trees in our back yards. If you don't draw the line, no one else will and you'll have to keep dealing with these kinds of situations over and over again.

At my office we have a monthly birthday cake for everyone. One secretary, knowing I did cakes, suggested in the middle of a meeting that I could do the birthday cakes from now on. refusing in the middle of this meeting would be awkward. But I knew right then that I had to establish the ground rules. So I just laughed and said, "Are you sure you want to pay that much for a cake every month. I'm not cheap, you know." She said, "well we'd give the $20 we spend now to you instead." I laughed and said, "you're not gonna get the kind of cake I make for anywhere near $20."

That ended it and I've never been asked for a free or cheap cake again. Though I have gotten some full orders from folks who were at that meeting, who now had some respect for what I do.

If I were you I'd go to the person who volunteered you and ask them why they would do such a thing without asking you first. Tell them that you are already booked for that week and can't fulfill the promise they mistakenly made on your behalf. If you want to, tell them you'd be happy to stop by the market on your way in and pick something up. Otherwise, I'd leave it up to him/her to figure out what to do about it.

282513 Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:21am
post #12 of 18

I would just say that I don't have time to make another cake but I can bring in brownies or another fun treat. Another simple and great treat is to bake a large choc.chip pan cookie with a border and sprinkles.

kakeladi Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:21am
post #13 of 18

I definately think you need to talk to the small group leaders and let them know you can't afford to do both. I don't think saying you are booked is right..... If they want to pay for it then fine. Well that's if you think you can handle the work of making both cakes.

dahir Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:23am
post #14 of 18

How Rude, Please tell them you are already doing one cake and that's enough. Ask them if everyone else is contributing TWICE. Oh BTW did they even invite you to this private party?

Good Luck, Don't let them take advantage of you please.
Tracy

sadsmile Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:24am
post #15 of 18

Thirds on what Ceshell said! Sounds nice and is still polite and accomodating but says I am not a door mat. ( typed tirds instead of thirds...LOL)

tonia3604 Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:32am
post #16 of 18

Emiyeric, I think I would approach the person who volunteered you and tell them thanks for the order and it will by $XX and see how fast they decide to pick up some brownies themselves. And I would point out that you were covering the expense for the first cake.

artscallion, your response to your coworker was sooo perfect. That is my problem is I am not a quick thinker. I would have sat there looking like a deer in headlights and then been mad at myself later for not thinking of something like what you said!!

beck30 Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 2:09am
post #17 of 18

I agree with what ceshell said!

emiyeric Posted 28 Mar 2009 , 1:41pm
post #18 of 18

Thanks fo the great advice, guys ... helps to talk me down from a limb icon_wink.gif. In response to the question, yes, I am invited to both parties, and yes, they definitely know I'm doing the other cake. The big issue now is that it's Saturday, and this thing is on Monday, and I doubt the group leader responsible for this whole thing will be checking e-mail efficiently enough for my purposes right now. I will address it with them on Monday, like everyone suggested, but will probably end up making a quick batch of cookies or something along those lines in the meantime. I wish I'd had more time to deal with this, since some of your responses are so great! thumbs_up.gif It's like when they say that I can make a "small cake", that means it'll be a quick and easy thing ... it takes me almost the same amount of time to make a "small cake" as it does to make a much larger one, and certainly a similar amount of prep time, which is what always hurts.

Thanks so much, guys! I'll let you know how it goes on Monday icon_smile.gif.

-Emi.

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