Most Controversial Topic Ever!

Lounge By miss-tiff Updated 20 Aug 2013 , 4:18pm by helloIamSM

miss-tiff Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:12am
post #1 of 430

Alright, there's not enough drama on this board, let's see how well I can string everything together:

I baked a cake, from a box mix, with ingredients that sat at room temperature for fourteen hours. My hairy dog and seven cats both sat on the counter and watched while it baked. When it was nice and underdone, I removed the cake from the oven. I promptly put one layer right on the counter to sit for an indefinite period of time. The other layer I wrapped tightly and stuck in the freezer, hoping to seal in as much moisture/harmful bacteria/pet hairs as possible. Later, I took some frosting from a can, mixed it with some frosting from a bucket and covered the layers. I got my idea online and copied it to a T. I added some Wilton fondant accents, and then I sold it, without a license, to an elderly neighbor for either over $2000 or under $10. I told her the entire cake was from scratch and my original design. She called me nineteen days later, screamed that she had been poisoned! And the cake was UGLY! but was grateful I had let her pay in foodstamps. Gee I like to make cakes.




There, that was as many controversial topics as I could muster, but I may have missed some. Feel free to add any. (And if this story sounds like anything real, I'm sorry. I tried to make it as far-fetched as possible)

429 replies
summernoelle Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:20am
post #2 of 430

Well, you did miss the fact that your hands had open wounds the sported a Staph infection, which you then gave to the elderly lady who had acute diarrhea and that she ended up in the hospital and that the HD couldn't find you because you went underground to make a cake in your secret cake catacomb where the network of underground bakers bake. And that you used milk that your son drank from the carton with, and that you left the bowl of icing in the icebox and that your husband brought home steaks and that the steak juice dripped into the bowl of icing. You also had your other child with the norovirus sitting on your counter as you assembled the cake.

THERE. icon_lol.gif

Shelle_75 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:24am
post #3 of 430

And don't forget you're NOT LICENSED!!

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miss-tiff Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:24am
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Wow! And THAT is what keeps me a "Junior Member" who must bow down to greatness when she sees it. Very nicely done, Summernoelle! thumbs_up.gif

rezzygirl Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:25am
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was the cake covered in licensed disney characters and say "happy marriage life"? icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif

redpanda Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:26am
post #6 of 430

Didn't you post a picture of the cake in the gallery and, like 500 people marked it as a favorite, but you only got 100 comments, and most of those were "cute cake" or "pretty cake".

Was it perchance a politically-themed cake? Or maybe sold on a Sunday, when nobody should be selling anything?

Shelle_75 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:29am
post #7 of 430

And it was religious / anti-religious themed?

summernoelle Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:29am
post #8 of 430

I stole it, Miss-Tiff, from Kolache Guy from the Legal Texas Bakery thread.

miss-tiff Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:42am
post #9 of 430

Someone actually has a catacomb, huh? icon_wink.gif

summernoelle Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:47am
post #10 of 430

icon_lol.gif No. Yesterday at the House hearing, a HD guy got up there and started griping about all the underground bakers. So some of the girl yesterday were making fun of him, saying we must have secret cake catacombs kind of like the Underground Railroad. icon_lol.gif

miss-tiff Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 3:59am
post #11 of 430
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

icon_lol.gif No. Yesterday at the House hearing, a HD guy got up there and started griping about all the underground bakers. So some of the girl yesterday were making fun of him, saying we must have secret cake catacombs kind of like the Underground Railroad. icon_lol.gif




I see! At first I thought you meant the whole "steak juice" and "staph infection" story was stolen from a thread. I tried diligently to find it! icon_razz.gif

I guess to stay entertained I'll have to stick to making cakes that show naked Deity waving Confederate flags.

KellBell22 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:00am
post #12 of 430

The Secret Cake Catacomb is still secret because the number one rule of use is "Don't talk about the Cake Catacomb" icon_wink.gif Great, now it's been talked about, and we're all screwed!!! LOL

KellBell22 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:00am
post #13 of 430

sorry...computer issues.

KellBell22 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:02am
post #14 of 430

The Secret Cake Catacomb is still secret because the number one rule of use is "Don't talk about the Cake Catacomb" icon_wink.gif Great, now it's been talked about, and we're all screwed!!! LOL

tonedna Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:06am
post #15 of 430

Don't forget you had the flu and didnt wash your hands and you overcharged $300 for this cake!
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

step0nmi Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:08am
post #16 of 430

I love how the Secret of the Catacomb was mentioned 3 times icon_lol.gif

step0nmi Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:09am
post #17 of 430

oh...and don't forget that my dog licked the side of the cake and i wiped off the frosting at that spot and re-iced it and it looked like it never happened. icon_wink.gif

baycheeks1 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:12am
post #18 of 430

You forgot the fact that you dropped it on the floor too! Stuck your finger in it to taste then...added some vanilla then stuck the same finger in it to taste again!

playingwithsugar Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:13am
post #19 of 430

Sneaky, sneaky! You forgot to mention that the cats hacked up hairballs, which you incorporated into the design. icon_lol.gif

I love this thread!

Theresa icon_smile.gif

tonedna Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:17am
post #20 of 430

Ohhh!..And the bird that escaped from the cage and pooped on top of it while flying!...It got covered with a fondant detail!
Edna icon_lol.gif

playingwithsugar Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:19am
post #21 of 430

Oh, Edna, I thought those were rice paper feathers on the cake, but I guess not. icon_lol.gif

Theresa icon_smile.gif

cookieswithdots Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:20am
post #22 of 430

Now, this is funny! I don't think you guys missed anything. Thanks for making me laugh!

Melissa

miss-tiff Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:23am
post #23 of 430

I'm impressed. I have a lot to learn from the CC community. I now pledge that my next cake will be better - featuring more inflammatory designs, a higher price, droppings from at least one animal, anatomy in some form, and overall more germs than you can shake a dirty spatula at. thumbs_up.gif

Maybe then I can be invited into the secret catacombs. I'll bet they don't need to refrigerate even their peanut butter in that magical land!

jules06 Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:23am
post #24 of 430

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure why this is so controversial - doesn't everybody make cakes this way ???!!!




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tonedna Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:23am
post #25 of 430

Oh and the son who was sticking his fingers on the nose and OOPS!...wanted a taste of the buttercream!
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

cblupe Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:30am
post #26 of 430

And the cake was both baked and decorated in 3 minutes flat and then messengered over to the old lady COD.

tonedna Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:31am
post #27 of 430

And the box got all mess up in a crash on the delivery!
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

asul Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:33am
post #28 of 430

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Idreamofcakes Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:42am
post #29 of 430

...and what about the fact that EVERYBODY in your house...meaning all 14 kids and ex-husband who lives with you with his live in girlfriend were all sick with the stomach flu and throwing up in the kitchen sink and coughing throughout the house as you tried to bake this nice cake for the nice old lady.
Don't forget that you also tried not to let your cigarette ashes that were an inch long fall onto the cake, but hey sometimes crap happens...you just covered it up with the mound of frosting made to look like a rain cloud.
...also those cabinet doors are brand new! They just started falling off the hinges yesterday! I swear!
What are you talking about grease stains?? Those aren't grease stains all over...thats my custom sponge paint job...I like the earthy tones! icon_eek.gif

Carolynlovescake Posted 26 Mar 2009 , 4:43am
post #30 of 430
Quote:
Originally Posted by step0nmi

oh...and don't forget that my dog licked the side of the cake and i wiped off the frosting at that spot and re-iced it and it looked like it never happened. icon_wink.gif




I will never ever forget that thread.

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