What To Do About "donations"

Lounge By barbaranoel Updated 20 Mar 2009 , 2:06pm by Ohara

barbaranoel Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 1:09pm
post #1 of 4

Long story short:

When my dh passed away, he had no life insurance and I can't get into his checking acc. until probate in 6mo.

I have received alot of donations from friends, family, etc... Which is awesome and I really appreciate it.

I have now found out how much money I will get from Social Security to cover mortgage and then some. So that is good and a huge relief.

But now, I found out that my graduating class is taking a donation to help me out, and I don't really "need" it, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings because they are doing this out of love for me and my husband.
Do I tell them no, but thanks anyway, I know alot of people alot worse off who get no help or do I accept it (I do have some outstanding medical bills plus the cost of the service but I can cover it eventually)

I've also thought of having them donate to brain cancer research.

I don't want to sound whiney but I don't want to take what I don't need or insult these people either.

Any advice would be helpful.

Thanks
Barb

3 replies
CakesByJen2 Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 1:27pm
post #2 of 4

I can understand your being uncomfortable; I think most of us would be. But people want to do something to help. You could donate it to research in your husband's name, but, honestly you may think you don't really need it now, I wouldn't be so quick to turn it down or give it away.

You still have two young children to raise, and it's going to be tough being a single parent, and with the economy the way it is, and I think it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I really think you should keep it. If you really don't need it now, put it in a college fund for your kids, and you'll have it in case you do need it.

If you get your kids thru college without ever having to use it, then you could still donate it to research or a scholarship fund in your husband's name.

dinas27 Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 2:01pm
post #3 of 4

I am so sorry for your loss.

When I was young one of my very good friend's father passed away at age 29. All donations that they received were placed into a education savings account for his two children. Given that your donations are coming from an education based group of friends I think could be a very appropriate direction.

Paying off your medical bills should also be a high priority, it will reduce your stress. This I think is probably the goal of your classmates, they want to help you but are unsure how besides money. Take their generousity graciously. Everyone grieves differently and while it seems you are managing well now, there may be times when ordering pizza for dinner seems like the only option, your friends want to give you that luxury. My thoughts are with you.

Ohara Posted 20 Mar 2009 , 2:06pm
post #4 of 4

Barb,
People want to bless you .....let them! Use that money to pay on the services, or medical bills. Yes, you can pay them eventually, but why wait when you could do so now. Unexpected bills come up all the time, the less debt you have the better for you and your boys.
I think it is awesome that you are thinking of others. Let others care for you for a while. (((((HUGS)))))

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