My partner and i were talking about our wedding last night. It wont happen for a year or so but he was talking to me asking me if there was a date or month or season etc that i wanted to get married. I said to him there was 1 date that i want to but so many other things were on that date.
We met on the 23rd Jan which also happened to be his step sisters wedding and also the date that his closest sister died on. This date is very important to him as its about his sister but also the date we met.
I said to him that i would prefer this date as its to celebrate the date we met and also to celebrate the life his sister had. I never met her but she was apparently alot like me and we also shared the same birthday. Which is pretty freaky when you think about it.
Is it selfish of me to steal this day away from his step sister as it was her wedding day too? They dont really get along too well and he never went to the wedding as it is a long story but she is also his cusion. His dad ran off with his mums sister. Ouch!
Should i pick another date or stick with that date?
How does he feel about picking that date? It could be an extra emotional day because of his sister (for both he and his family) As for the step sister... It's not her "wedding day" its her anniversary and I don't see much wrong with that. My brother and I have the same wedding anniversaries - just years apart.
He also likes the date. I wasnt sure about how he would react to begin with but he was really good about it. he said that in all the years that shes been gone (8years this year) this was the only year he didnt cry himself to sleep. He was so close to his sister and thinks about her daily. he said hes never been so happy he said. he was single for 9 years until he met me too which is pretty sweet.
If you like the date and so does he, go ahead and use it. It's a special day to both of you, go ahead and make it your wedding day. Who cares what his step sister thinks. I wouldn't. I've had other people get married on the same day I was and I think it's kind of special.
I would definately recognize his sister some how with a memory candle and a picture on a table by the maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids (or some where on the stage near you two) He could walk family down the aisle and after he seats them approach and light the candle for her.
As for his step sister she can kiss your butts after a fresh bout of fart gas if she has an issue with it. It's not about her this time around it's about you two and the meaning that date has.
It's not your fault she was married on that date first and took it from you. 
I see it as taking that date back to where it rightfully belongs. 
It's wonderful that you both want to honor his sister on your wedding day but I would be concerned about his mother and father. If I lost a child, I don't know how I would feel about having a celebration on the anniversary of that date. He might want to speak to them about this first.
I agree-if you do it that date, honor the sister. Some people will have them as an honorary attendant-have someone carry a candle down the aisle and stand up front with it, with the other bridesmaids.
The only real issue is how your fiance feels about the date. If he is fine with it, go ahead! The step sister should be fine with it. I share an anniversary with someone close to me, too. 
CarolynGwen I almost peed when I read your response "fresh bout of fart gas"...
Anyhow...OTNIC I think you should use that date given that your partner is ok with it. People get so fussy about wedding stuff, "I used that favor, those were my wedding colors" blech...its about you and him and whatever you want. Go for it...and are you making your own cake?
lol i laughed pretty loud when i read the fart gas bit...
have talked to a couple of people and have decided thats a good date.
Talked to my partner and hes now decided its going to be next year arghhh!!!!
As for me making my own cake.... i really dont know. I think i prolly will as i will know what i want best. If only i could fly Duff over here for it! lol 
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