CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP:::Sam's is up the road

Business By cakesbyamym Updated 21 Mar 2009 , 1:20am by LaBellaFlor

jlynnw Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 5:40am
post #61 of 116

maryjsgirl - they are asking complete strangers to sponsor their wedding? icon_eek.gif

maryjsgirl Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 5:53am
post #62 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

maryjsgirl - they are asking complete strangers to sponsor their wedding? icon_eek.gif




YES!


Because they have been out of work for a year and can't find jobs. So of course they had a baby during this time...why not?

I had actually thought about emailing her and letting her know I would donate, but she had to come over and do this mountain of dirty laundry, wash my windows and walls, then clean and organize my garage. I think the hours it would take her to do this would pay off the cake.

Do you think she would go for it? icon_lol.gif

jlynnw Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 6:07am
post #63 of 116

I guess if you are out of work, you might as well make babies! I just don't get it. I can feel the sting of mom's hand hitting the back of my head and asking me " Just what are you thinking". I grew up with a complete different sense of ability. You want it you work for it. Once I was 16, school clothes, school supplies, car, gas, insurance etc was paid for by me. Don't have enough money, get another job cut expenses. It was tough but I learned about the value of money. I can not imagine asking any one to pay for my wedding. My parents did not even help with that, you want it, you will pay for it! Will she go for helping out around the house, heck no. Why would she work for it when some dope will give it to her. A new business will just love to get the name out. I can only imagine the newspaper and evening news featuring it, how to get your dream wedding and not pay a dime! Didn't the lady from the View try this as well?

indydebi Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 10:33am
post #64 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

You want it you work for it. Once I was 16, school clothes, school supplies, car, gas, insurance etc was paid for by me. Don't have enough money, get another job cut expenses.



My daughter recently learned this lesson! She asked me for money for pants, which I was going to give her .... until she mentioned something about going to the bank and getting money out of her account. I asked her how much money she had? $80!!! icon_surprised.gif
I laughed and said, "no, no, no, darlin', that's not how it works. You get to DECIDE which is important to you and which one you need. You get to DECIDE what your priority is. You dont' get to spend your money on toys and expect the Mommy-Welfare-Dept to give you food stamps because you have no money left for essentials."

She wasn't happy with me ... but I'm a mom ... that's my job! thumbs_up.gif

gscout73 Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 10:53am
post #65 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi




Must the secret ingredient in Twinkies. icon_eek.gif
That is great!! icon_razz.gif
Sandy

gscout73 Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 11:05am
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The woman is not replying to the emailed answers to her questions because she is too busy eating cake that tastes like sponge with lard icing.

Debi, my son used to do that to me:

Son: Mom, can you give me some money for (fill in the blank)
Mom: Are you out of money already? Didn't you just get paid?
Son: What? Use my money? I can't! I'm SAVING my money.

icon_twisted.gif
Sandy

jlynnw Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 12:42pm
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Print the last few post, show DD, I am a mother not your friend. Others mothers are just like me. We all have this evil consiperacy going on to make our children into responsible adults who pay their way in life. Check.

I don't know what the bride would even say in reply to email answering her questions. Uhmm, like can you leave out the eggs, would that make it cheaper? I don't think you will ever hear from her again after you educated her.

playingwithsugar Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 1:02pm
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Here's an idea. For $45 bucks, you can sell them a do it yourself kit. Three boxes of DH, three cans of frosting, two cans of decorating icing - you know, the ones with the plastic tips attached, a cake board and box. Put them in a bigger box labeled "Do-It-Yourself-Shower-Cake Kit", with instructions, which say, "Follow directions on the back of the boxes. When the cakes are cool, follow the directions on the can labels."

Theresa icon_smile.gif

jlynnw Posted 12 Mar 2009 , 1:38pm
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you will have to include some really cheap tinfoil pans too, like from the dollar store that don't hold for nuttin, and when it all dumps all over, you can explain quality pans cost, just like quality ingredients when they say how yucky the cake is and how yummy yours is, can I get that recipe!

confectionaryperfection Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 12:28am
post #70 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakesbyamym

This follows up to a BTB of mine contacting me regarding her groom's cake. She booked her wedding cake over a year ago, and insisted that her MIL and FIL come to the consultation, AND have their own samples to try for the groom's cake. Well, normally, I would NEVER offer additional samples above the three that I normally provide at consultations. I did...b/c she seemed SO sure of booking the groom's cake, as well, and the wedding cake IS a huge order. SO, she contacts me about a month ago regarding the groom's cake. Cake is for 100 people, and send a pic...could I do it? Of course, I could do the cake...no problem. When I give her the price of $3 per serving...MIL insisted fondant icing be used, AND I even quoted her a discount off of the groom's cake due to the amount of the wedding cake...MY choice to do that. She e-mails back that MIL was "FLOORED" (her words) at my pricing!!! She had a strict budget of $60 that she was adhering to for the groom's cake, since she was "already paying $1,500 for the rehearsal dinner." Ummm...if you're paying $1,500 for 100 people at the rehearsal dinner, I think that you could spring for something other than a Sam's Club sheet cake. Anyway, I'm still doing the wedding cake in the fall, but I was aghast at the MIL's response when I gave her my prices over a year ago. It's not like I just pulled a price out of the sky to quote her. People just blow my freaking mind sometimes!





why isshe having 100 people at the rehersal dinner, it is only supposed to be bridal party and close family

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 12:33am
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some grooms cakes are served at the wedding icon_confused.gif

indydebi Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 12:54am
post #72 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by confectionaryperfection

why isshe having 100 people at the rehersal dinner, it is only supposed to be bridal party and close family


I'm with you on this question. we had a nephew get married and we had family members ask us "Why weren't you at the rehearsal dinner?" We were flabbergasted at the question and said, "we are not in the wedding party and the rehearsal dinner is for those in the wedding party ... and sometimes with spouses." I would have thought it odd if we WERE invited ... because we were NOT in the wedding party! icon_eek.gif
WTH? When did the rehearsal dinner turn into a pre-reception with everyone in the world invited? Anybody want to bet with me that it won't be long before it will be expected that guests bring gifts to the rehearsal dinner AND to the wedding? icon_surprised.gif

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:04am
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indy, hate to tell you, but yes you are to bring gifts to both occasions. The rehersal dinner is gifts that honor the groom, and the wedding is more for the two of them and the bride, IE do you really think the groom cares about the china and tableware? It was in Dear Abby or Emily Post in the recently in an article about preparing for wedding season after the big bridal show. I thought WT...H

indydebi Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:06am
post #74 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

indy, hate to tell you, but yes you are to bring gifts to both occasions. The rehersal dinner is gifts that honor the groom, and the wedding is more for the two of them and the bride, IE do you really think the groom cares about the china and tableware? It was in Dear Abby or Emily Post in the recently in an article about preparing for wedding season after the big bridal show. I thought WT...H




OMG, I am officially old!! I had no idea! Holy crap! I.... I ..... I'm just speechless!!! (and y'all know how unusual THAT is!) icon_surprised.gif

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:11am
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I am searching for the article. It was sad. You get married to get stuff, oh it won't last long because they spend so much time deciding what people should give them and then how cheap they can throw a party together for the very first time. Cash bar, Sam's cake, while at Sam's pick up cheese cubes and crackers. Guests please remember to bring me lots of gifts. The man showers, bridal showers, couple showers, engagement party, rehersal dinner, and then the wedding. Some are even having post honeymoon parties and register with things they don't get for the wedding. These are the people who will not spent the $3.50 a serving for cake and want up to 7 gifts from you. Know that you think from that angle of the bride, can you say CHEAP icon_mad.gif

newmansmom2004 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:20am
post #76 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

indy, hate to tell you, but yes you are to bring gifts to both occasions. The rehersal dinner is gifts that honor the groom, and the wedding is more for the two of them and the bride, IE do you really think the groom cares about the china and tableware? It was in Dear Abby or Emily Post in the recently in an article about preparing for wedding season after the big bridal show. I thought WT...H





Who made up these new rules anyway? Wonder if this is a regional thing? I grew up about 2 hours north of Indydebi and we NEVER had anyone but the bridal party (and the minister) at the rehearsal dinner and we certainly never expected anyone to bring a gift. In fact, the rehearsal dinner is when the bride and groom took little 'thank you' gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Debi, we must do things differently in the midwest - LOL!

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:27am
post #77 of 116

I have no idea. The one rehersal dinner I went to was nice. We received an invite with the registery info on a slip of paper. We arrived and saw a table set up for gifts. I had assumed the registry was for the wedding. I assumed the table was for gifts for the bridal party. They roasted the bride and groom and then opened the gifts right then and there! While all this was going on, my 6 y.o. DD sat waiting for dinner.(rehersal at 6 dinner at 7). We watched them open up everything. Aunt Snarky McSnarkyton had a guest list ready to write down the gifts presumably for thank you's. I did not bring a gift and Mr. McSnarkyton asked when it would arrive! DD received a cheap tin bracelet and was asked to give back the basket of flowers she carried. icon_mad.gif

indydebi Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:34am
post #78 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by newmansmom2004

Debi, we must do things differently in the midwest - LOL!




Yeah, sounds like we do it LOGICALLY! icon_eek.gif

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:40am
post #79 of 116

ya'lls every hear you might be a redneck if???? I live in cheap redneck country. something about small towns and such. The smaller the cheaper and back woods. I have lived in several states and small towns and big cities. I want to go back to the city, they know what's up.

indydebi Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:44am
post #80 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

Aunt Snarky McSnarkyton had a guest list ready to write down the gifts presumably for thank you's. I did not bring a gift and Mr. McSnarkyton asked when it would arrive! DD received a cheap tin bracelet and was asked to give back the basket of flowers she carried. icon_mad.gif




Oh you REALLY should submit this to www.etiquettehell.com !

newmansmom2004 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:48am
post #81 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

I have no idea. The one rehersal dinner I went to was nice. We received an invite with the registery info on a slip of paper. We arrived and saw a table set up for gifts. I had assumed the registry was for the wedding. I assumed the table was for gifts for the bridal party. They roasted the bride and groom and then opened the gifts right then and there! While all this was going on, my 6 y.o. DD sat waiting for dinner.(rehersal at 6 dinner at 7). We watched them open up everything. Aunt Snarky McSnarkyton had a guest list ready to write down the gifts presumably for thank you's. I did not bring a gift and Mr. McSnarkyton asked when it would arrive! DD received a cheap tin bracelet and was asked to give back the basket of flowers she carried. icon_mad.gif




OK, I'm sorry y'all but I have to call "bull****" on this one. If I got an invite like that I'd probably be spitting out the mouthful of flies from standing there with my mouth hanging open. I'm totally blown away that couples do this. Am I the last person in the free world to hear about this?

jlynnw Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:50am
post #82 of 116

I hope this is an isolated event but then I thought cheap brides were too!

cakedoll Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:32am
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When my son got married it was a very large wedding with a lot of the bride's family traveling in from other states.

I had shut down my business about a year earlier to take care of a disabled and ill mother so money was beginning to get a little tight on my end. I had set a certain amount of money aside to take care of the rehearsal dinner, so I didn't worry too much.

I almost stroked out when I was informed that the rehearsal dinner was going to be for 85 people. icon_surprised.gif
Luckily, they decided on buffet style. We rented a hall: I made all the food (including home made breads and rolls) and the cake, and I have to admit, we all had a blast. There were no gifts involved except the ones that the bride and groom gave out to family and the bridal party.

I thought at the time that a rehearsal party that large was really unusual but after reading some of the above posts, I guess it's not.

indydebi Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 2:38am
post #84 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakedoll

I almost stroked out when I was informed that the rehearsal dinner was going to be for 85 people. icon_surprised.gif


See, this is where I believe in the Golden Rule .... those with the gold, make the rules. If I'm paying for it, then I get to decide how many will be there.

When my daughter got married, I told her we couldn't afford the rehearsal dinner also. If she wanted to go out for dinner after rehearsal, everyone would have to pay their own bill ... we couldn't do it. (I won't speculate or discuss why this became a question for the mother of the bride ..... )

MichelleM77 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 3:59am
post #85 of 116

Wow, what a difference in how rehearsal dinners are in different states. I gave gifts to my bridal party, our family/friends who read during the service, and the husbands/wives of those people at the rehearsal dinner. Only the bridal party/readers/etc. and our parents were there. It was everyone that needed to be at the rehearsal for the wedding, hence the rehearsal dinner.

costumeczar Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 11:28am
post #86 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by cakedoll

When my son got married it was a very large wedding with a lot of the bride's family traveling in from other states.

I almost stroked out when I was informed that the rehearsal dinner was going to be for 85 people. icon_surprised.gif
I thought at the time that a rehearsal party that large was really unusual but after reading some of the above posts, I guess it's not.





A lot of brides here are doing big rehearsal dinners for that reason, it's the out of town guests. They think that they have to entertain everyone constantly, and/or it's relatives they haven't seen for a long time so they want to spend some time with them that's not at the reception. It's ridiculous, because it does start to be two receptions.

I had one friend who actually said that where she was from the families kept a mental tally of how much the gifts they got were worth, and if someone gave them a gift that cost less than the cost of the dinner they got at the reception, the guest was put on the family's Sh@@ list! I told her I thought that was absurd, but she insisted that in her community it was accepted that you gave a gift equal to the cost of what the wedding would cost the family per person, or you were considered to be cheap. How you were supposed to know in advance how much the wedding would cost is unknown to me...

When I got married I had a couple of friends who got mad at me because they wanted to throw us a shower, and I told them that I'd prefer it if people didn't have to bring gifts. All of our firends at the time were either poor graduate students, poor musicians, or just out of school, and I knew that nobody could afford a lot of presents. These two friends got mad and said "what are we supposed to do, just have a party where we serve food?" icon_confused.gif

flamingobaker Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 12:40pm
post #87 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleM77

It was everyone that needed to be at the rehearsal for the wedding, hence the rehearsal dinner.




That's how we did it, too, in the olden days! (We need a grey haired emoticon!)

Maybe some people today are thinking that they are "rehearsing" for the reception...you know, practicing eating, drinking and opening gifts. The actual wedding is just a technicality for some.

newmansmom2004 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:20pm
post #88 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

I had one friend who actually said that where she was from the families kept a mental tally of how much the gifts they got were worth, and if someone gave them a gift that cost less than the cost of the dinner they got at the reception, the guest was put on the family's Sh@@ list! I told her I thought that was absurd, but she insisted that in her community it was accepted that you gave a gift equal to the cost of what the wedding would cost the family per person, or you were considered to be cheap. How you were supposed to know in advance how much the wedding would cost is unknown to me...




Oh my goodness - I think this 'friend' had a few screws loose. You don't get married just to get gifts and then condemn those who don't give you a gift you feel isn't worthy. That's just greed, pure and simple. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume this person is no longer a friend??? icon_wink.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

When I got married I had a couple of friends who got mad at me because they wanted to throw us a shower, and I told them that I'd prefer it if people didn't have to bring gifts. All of our firends at the time were either poor graduate students, poor musicians, or just out of school, and I knew that nobody could afford a lot of presents. These two friends got mad and said "what are we supposed to do, just have a party where we serve food?" icon_confused.gif





This brings up another good point - the bridal shower. I totally forgot about that - now you're in for THREE gifts! Oy!

confectionaryperfection Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:21pm
post #89 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

indy, hate to tell you, but yes you are to bring gifts to both occasions. The rehersal dinner is gifts that honor the groom, and the wedding is more for the two of them and the bride, IE do you really think the groom cares about the china and tableware? It was in Dear Abby or Emily Post in the recently in an article about preparing for wedding season after the big bridal show. I thought WT...H



actually you are wrong.. the rehearsal dinner is for the bridal party to practice for the wedding day and then the bride and groom pay to take them to dinner as a thank you for being a part of their day and the bride and groom give gifts to the bridal party. i have 10 sisters and have been to many weddings and rehearsal dinners... and my youngest sister just got married this year and it was the same.

mbt4955 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 1:59pm
post #90 of 116

IMHO, the rehearsal dinner guest list is up to the couple. If they want to invite out of town guests who traveled to the wedding (some from out of the country) AND if they can afford it and feel that the cost is worth it, then they do just that. One of my siblings is in the restaurant business and he gives the rehearsal dinner to his nieces and nephews as a wedding present. If they want barbecue (Rudy's), they are free to invite whomever they want. I do have very loving and generous siblings. icon_smile.gif
I have a large family - 39 in the immediate family (siblings and their families) and a HUGE extended family. I got married in 1977 and we had everyone at my rehearsal dinner for chicken spaghetti and salad, which we prepared. When my daughter got married three years ago, the rehearsal dinner was held at a restaurant and only the wedding party was invited.

The wedding day is so busy and sometimes the night before is the only chance the couple has to see their loved ones who came to share this time with them. The point is - this is an individual decision. There are no rules about who you can have at an event that you host.

I have never, ever been to a rehearsal dinner where the guests were expected to bring gifts.

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