Know Any Darwin Award Possibilities? I Need A Laugh.

Lounge By GeminiRJ Updated 31 Jan 2009 , 11:27pm by indydebi

GeminiRJ Posted 30 Jan 2009 , 7:02pm
post #1 of 4

I've read a number of Darwin award stories (someone...usually male...usually intoxicated) that has found an astonishingly stupid way to kill themselves (never intentionally), thus removing themselves from the gene pool. I saw that they also had "honorable mentions" where the stupid act did not result in death, but was still incredibly dumb. So here's my "honorable mention":

My sister was working as a nurse in the ER of a large metropolitan city when a young man was brought in by a woman for treatment. Both were in their early 20's and obviously still under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or both. It seems that while really, really wasted the night before, they decided it would be "fun" to insert a long neck Coors bottle into the man's rear end. The girlfriend used a bit too much force, and was dismayed to see the bottle completely disappear. After some thought about how to retrieve the bottle, she hit upon the bright idea of fishing it out with a coat hanger. After a bit of this, she apparently passed out. The next morning they awoke to a large pool of blood on the floor, not really sure how it got there. So it was off to the ER. Long story short...she had broken the bottle and it had caused severe lacerations to his bowel, which was now infected. He was whisked off to surgery and is the owner of a colostomy bag. A life-long reminder of a stupid idea that he has no memory of making.

It's really sad, I know, but also funny in a sick sort of way. I still can't look at a long neck Coors bottle without thinking of this story. So...anyone want to relate a "how stupid are they" story?

3 replies
TheCakerator Posted 30 Jan 2009 , 9:14pm
post #2 of 4

while that story is pretty funny, your sister should definitely watch her P's and Q's about repeating stories that go on in a hospital. It is the patients right to privacy and unfortunately there are some people out there that are just sue happy enough to go after your sister if they ever heard through someone who knows someone who knows someone that heard your sister tell their story. Just something to remind her ...

mkolmar Posted 31 Jan 2009 , 11:19pm
post #3 of 4

That's a Darwin honorable mention for sure.
OUCH......I can't even imagine, let alone the thought process behind that one.

indydebi Posted 31 Jan 2009 , 11:27pm
post #4 of 4

Have you heard the line .......?

Q: "Know what a Darwin nominee says right before he dies?"

A: "Watch me do this!!"

Quote by @%username% on %date%