Consider This The Next Time...

Decorating By kellertur Updated 30 Jan 2009 , 12:43am by -K8memphis

kellertur Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 1:18pm
post #1 of 141

Hello,
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but before my DD wakes up I need to get this off my chest. (as I type quietly, yet passionately)

I really don't think there is any call for the RUDE and spitefull comments said about other people's hard work. Perhaps some people should look up the definition of "constructive criticism" before posting derisive, hurtful comments that appear to have a hidden agenda. Human beings have feelings. Constructive criticism isn't about telling someone(personally, privately or implying) that they have no talent or skill. What is wrong with people?
I am tired of reading comments like that on what is supposed to be a support network.

People trash talk Kerry Vincent ALL the time, yet I've only heard "helpful" comments come from her. Honesty hurts sometimes, but when it comes from a good place, that's constructive. That said, do I believe in "lip service"? NO~ which can be patronizing. Being honest is one thing, being acidic and cruel is another...
Put the shoe on the other foot and wear it for a while.

Have a great day everyone~ icon_smile.gif
I'm going to go hug my lovely daughter!

140 replies
Callyssa Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 1:38pm
post #2 of 141

Who is Kerry Vincent? A member here? Is this in relation to a particular thread? I just can't imagine anyone here would do what you've said.......

indydebi Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 1:59pm
post #3 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by Callyssa

Who is Kerry Vincent?




icon_surprised.gif This question takes me by surprise, although I do remember the day when I would have said, "Duff? What's a Duff?" icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

Kerry Vincent is, in my ever so never humble opinion, one of the greatest cake designers/decorators I have ever seen. I had the honor of meeting her in person and she is as gracious as she is blunt ..... 2 characteristics that I absolutely admire, especially when a single person has both of them. I emailed her once and rec'd an answer back practically immediately, which impressed me, considering how very busy and "famous" she is ... and she still had time to respond to an email from "little 'ole me".

She IS the Oklahoma Sugar Show and a judge frequently on the Food Channel.

costumeczar Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:06pm
post #4 of 141

She comes off as rude on the challenges, but based on what everyone who's actually met her in person has said, that's in the editing for the shows. They try to make someone seem to be nasty to stir things up and make good tv. Blunt is a good description of her style, seems to me.

But to the OP, what's brought this on? Was it something specific or are you just defending Kerry Vincent for some reason as yet unknown? I haven't seen anything recently on here about her at all, but I might have missed that.

hilly Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:12pm
post #5 of 141

I was wondering the same thing. Are you talking about something going on here?

kellertur Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:23pm
post #6 of 141

No, this isn't about Kerry Vincent, but about something I read last night in a thread. It's not the first time.

janelwaters Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:26pm
post #7 of 141

you took the words right out of my mouth - I don't understand where this is coming from - I really hope that you are not referring to photo or other comments left here.

Can you be more specific?

I hope you have a great day!!

tonedna Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:27pm
post #8 of 141

I love Kerry Vincent, I think she is funny and sweet. Strong personality that had taken to where she is today.
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

indydebi Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:33pm
post #9 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonedna

I love Kerry Vincent, I think she is funny and sweet. Strong personality that had taken to where she is today.
Edna icon_biggrin.gif




I think the general public .... and I offer this as a generic statement .... doesn't know how to deal with strong, independent women very well.

I never see her as "rude". I see her as blunt, direct, and telling it like it is, without pansy-assing around the issue. I've never seen her say something is bad, or ugly .... I've seen her comment on how it could have been done better, or "if they would do ....."; more in the 'constructive criticism' category. She sets high standards for herself and expects no less from anyone else who calls themselves a professional in this industry. Who can't admire THAT?

I'd much rather a Kerry critique my work than someone who tries to be "nice" about it. At least with a Kerry, I know I'm getting a real opinion that's not sugar coated.

GayeG Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:36pm
post #10 of 141

Just my 2 cents ..

I dont know what K2cakes was referring to ... but I can say, I myself saw a few post just yesterday and couldnt tell ya where -, that made me shake my head ... I knew it musta hurt some feelings.
And wondered why .... why do ppl feel the need to be mean?

But I do know this, that sometimes when we are typing, things dont come across on paper like if we were saying them out loud. Ive read back my own post, and thought, maybe I should change that, it doesnt sound right.... you know what I mean? You cant see the sly smile, the wrinked up nose or anything like that , that shows our words differently.

But whatever happened to you K2cakes, just know, that when you put 10,000 women together ANYWHERE - there's always gonna be some friction -
Im not trying to un-validate your feelings, please know that!
But today is another day icon_smile.gif

And I just wanna add: I think Kerry Vincent ROCKS!

tonedna Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:37pm
post #11 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by tonedna

I love Kerry Vincent, I think she is funny and sweet. Strong personality that had taken to where she is today.
Edna icon_biggrin.gif



I think the general public .... and I offer this as a generic statement .... doesn't know how to deal with strong, independent women very well.

I never see her as "rude". I see her as blunt, direct, and telling it like it is, without pansy-assing around the issue. I've never seen her say something is bad, or ugly .... I've seen her comment on how it could have been done better, or "if they would do ....."; more in the 'constructive criticism' category. She sets high standards for herself and expects no less from anyone else who calls themselves a professional in this industry. Who can't admire THAT?

I'd much rather a Kerry critique my work than someone who tries to be "nice" about it. At least with a Kerry, I know I'm getting a real opinion that's not sugar coated.




Well said..I think doing her work well should not be taken the wrong way.. She is good and very direct, but her heart is pure gold..I love her to death!.

Edna icon_biggrin.gif

kellertur Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:42pm
post #12 of 141

I agree that Kerry Vincent is very constructive. I wish other people could use that sort of tact. She is professional.

I seriously feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone... this isn't about Kerry Vincent. icon_rolleyes.gif

tonedna Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:42pm
post #13 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by janelwaters

you took the words right out of my mouth - I don't understand where this is coming from - I really hope that you are not referring to photo or other comments left here.

Can you be more specific?

I hope you have a great day!!




There was a thread were someone was not really nice to Kerry Vincent..
icon_sad.gif

kjt Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:44pm
post #14 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by K2cakes



I really don't think there is any call for the RUDE and spitefull comments said about other people's hard work.
I am tired of reading comments like that on what is supposed to be a support network.

Put the shoe on the other foot and wear it for a while.





Please elaborate...are you talking about a particular thread? Or comments on pictures, or what? And are you using Kerry as an example of one who critiques constructively, or defending her because somebody has made comments about her? Maybe my head is foggy this morning, but I'm just not understanding your post. Not meaning to jump on you, just trying to get a little clarification... icon_confused.gif

miss_sweetstory Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:46pm
post #15 of 141
Quote:
Quote:

I see her as blunt, direct, and telling it like it is, without pansy-assing around the issue. I've never seen her say something is bad, or ugly ....




Sounds like someone on this board...mmmm, who could it be? Ummmm...oh yeah...YOU Debi! (We heart you!) icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:49pm
post #16 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_sweetstory

Quote:
Quote:

I see her as blunt, direct, and telling it like it is, without pansy-assing around the issue. I've never seen her say something is bad, or ugly ....



Sounds like someone on this board...mmmm, who could it be? Ummmm...oh yeah...YOU Debi! (We heart you!) icon_smile.gif




What a wonderful compliment! Thank you! (blushing slightly, batting eyelashes! icon_biggrin.gif )

tonedna Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:49pm
post #17 of 141
tonedna Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:52pm
post #18 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by miss_sweetstory

Quote:
Quote:

I see her as blunt, direct, and telling it like it is, without pansy-assing around the issue. I've never seen her say something is bad, or ugly ....



Sounds like someone on this board...mmmm, who could it be? Ummmm...oh yeah...YOU Debi! (We heart you!) icon_smile.gif



What a wonderful compliment! Thank you! (blushing slightly, batting eyelashes! icon_biggrin.gif )




Add to this mix Melvira too!...lol..Why do you think they are so loved!..Direct and to the point!..
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

cookieman Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:54pm
post #19 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayeG

But whatever happened to you K2cakes, just know, that when you put 10,000 women together ANYWHERE - there's always gonna be some friction




Remember--there are some of us guys here too! icon_biggrin.gif

I know firsthand how some comments can come off harshly when they most certainly were not meant to. I said something in a post the other day that came off horribly and I was called on the carpet for it. I immediately apologized for it. Needless to say, it's three days later and I still feel like an a**.

Also, you know there are people out there known as "trolls" that purposely go on to message boards to stir things up. Maybe this is what K2cakes was referring to.

AllyCake90 Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 2:56pm
post #20 of 141

I absolutely agree, there is no necessity for it. However, I think that if people are going to make comments (an inevitability), it provides the "critiqued" decorator an opportunity to grow. From those comments, we can grow and learn that not everyone will always be satisfied. It is only a handful of people who make those comments.
That said, it doesn't matter what somebody says about another's work...as long as you love it and express your creativity, who cares if somebody gives it a thumbs down. It allows us to examine ourselves and our work, growing with the experience.

I also love Kerry Vincent, she gets straight to the point. I don't want someone to drag out a response when they could just tell me, for example, that I need to work on my fondant because it's cracking.

GayeG Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:00pm
post #21 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by cookieman

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayeG

But whatever happened to you K2cakes, just know, that when you put 10,000 women together ANYWHERE - there's always gonna be some friction



Remember--there are some of us guys here too! icon_biggrin.gif

I know firsthand how some comments can come off harshly when they most certainly were not meant to. I said something in a post the other day that came off horribly and I was called on the carpet for it. I immediately apologized for it. Needless to say, it's three days later and I still feel like an a**.

Also, you know there are people out there known as "trolls" that purposely go on to message boards to stir things up. Maybe this is what K2cakes was referring to.




Opps! Sorry Cookieman!!! I thought about that RIGHT AFTER hitting the send button! icon_redface.gif I meant to say: 10,000 ppl! And THATS exactly what I was talking about! Sometimes things come out like we really didnt intend them to! Please forgive me! icon_lol.gif

LaBellaFlor Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:11pm
post #22 of 141

K2 has all ready said this IS NOT about Kerry Vincent, I think she was speaking in general. There are some threads where people have been flat out rude, not using constructive criticism. She was ONLY using Kerry Vincent as an example & she probably thinks everyone is missing the point: this sight is for support, debate, assistance AND constructive criticism...and I agree.

cookieman Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:21pm
post #23 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayeG

Quote:
Originally Posted by cookieman

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayeG

But whatever happened to you K2cakes, just know, that when you put 10,000 women together ANYWHERE - there's always gonna be some friction



Remember--there are some of us guys here too! icon_biggrin.gif

I know firsthand how some comments can come off harshly when they most certainly were not meant to. I said something in a post the other day that came off horribly and I was called on the carpet for it. I immediately apologized for it. Needless to say, it's three days later and I still feel like an a**.

Also, you know there are people out there known as "trolls" that purposely go on to message boards to stir things up. Maybe this is what K2cakes was referring to.



Opps! Sorry Cookieman!!! I thought about that RIGHT AFTER hitting the send button! icon_redface.gif I meant to say: 10,000 ppl! And THATS exactly what I was talking about! Sometimes things come out like we really didnt intend them to! Please forgive me! icon_lol.gif




Of course I forgive you!!! icon_biggrin.gif

cheflish Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:26pm
post #24 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

I emailed her once and rec'd an answer back practically immediately, which impressed me, considering how very busy and "famous" she is ... and she still had time to respond to an email from "little 'ole me".






I feel this same way when I receive an email or PM from Indydebi or Melvira or Antonia74, ... or... or ... from CC!!! These amazing folks have taken time to email "little ol' me"!!! Makes my day!!!!

Thanks to EVERYONE who offers comments, guidance and assistance to those of us that need it!!!
icon_smile.gif

imakecakes Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:26pm
post #25 of 141

There are different ways of responding to posts you don't neccessarily agree with....

the responses that make the OP think "Hmmm...that's a different way to look at it."

and

the responses that make the OP think "OUCH! That stung!"

(There is a member who I can immediately think of that gets the second responses routinely after she posts. I think she lives for the stings she gives.)

imakecakes Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:29pm
post #26 of 141

Okay, admit it...even if you didn't think of the same member as I did, a member's name came into your mind, didn't it?

Callyssa Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:30pm
post #27 of 141

Debi-I don't watch much TV at all LOL! I've only ever seen Ace of Cakes two or three times. Please don't think I was offended, I wasn't! I had another of these moments last week when talking to my very wealthy girlfriend in Texas who made a comment about "....and these are girls that wear Chanel watches....", and I didn't know if that was a slam to the girls who WERE or WERE NOT wearing Chanel watches!! I'm just so not into brand names. She just laughed and said, "honey, you have a lot to learn in a little bit of time if you're planning to move here soon!!" icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif

Kerry Vincent......now I'll have to google her.......

indydebi Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:35pm
post #28 of 141

Callyssa, I'm not into name brand clothes at all. My sister tells me she went to a garage sale and found ".....Bellsy-Ball Blue Jeans for only ten dollars!!!! icon_surprised.gif " Then she sits back and waits for me to look impressed. Finally I ask, "Ummm..... is that a brand or something?" icon_confused.gif

For a long time, I thought a "coach" purse was just a big travel bag that was smaller than carry-on luggage (as in flying "coach" instead of "first class"). Had no idea people were spending THAT kind of money for a freakin' PURSE! icon_surprised.gif

GayeG Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:37pm
post #29 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by imakecakes

Okay, admit it...even if you didn't think of the same member as I did, a member's name came into your mind, didn't it?




thumbs_up.gif

KrissieCakes Posted 28 Jan 2009 , 3:38pm
post #30 of 141
Quote:
Originally Posted by imakecakes

Okay, admit it...even if you didn't think of the same member as I did, a member's name came into your mind, didn't it?




Actually, 2 members came to mind!! icon_smile.gif

I agree that there have been a lot of harsh comments posted lately, mostly in the forums. People need to think a little before hitting submit! On the other hand, I want some honesty from people, not just the standard - oh beautiful work, great job - especially if it really isn't!

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