Should I Make My Daughter's Wedding Cake For Another State?

Decorating By Phyllis52 Updated 21 Jan 2009 , 11:23pm by Phyllis52

Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 2:04pm
post #1 of 15

My daughter will be getting married in NY because all the guest live there), but we live in PA. Do you think I could make the cake a few days in advance (we'll be in a hotel). Or do you think I should just have the cake made in NY for her. I'm already making the cookie favors and cookie trays.

I don't want to make myself crazy...........

What do you guys think?


14 replies
indydebi Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 2:53pm
post #2 of 15

I did my daughter's wedding cake and finger food catering for her wedding 10 years ago and I will never do it again. And we only lived 6 minutes from the church/reception venue! The MOB has so many duties and responsibilities that I was going crazy!! I probably could have been a bit more organized (I've learned a few things in the past 10 years, like giving up total control! icon_lol.gif )

The flip side of the argument is having mom make the wedding cake is SO very special!!

prterrell Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 3:13pm
post #3 of 15

You'll probably be less stressed and enjoy the day more if you don't. You could always make a cake for a shower instead.

Chippi Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 3:57pm
post #4 of 15

It all depends on how badly you want to do your daughters wedding cake Phyllis. Going to NY is a big challenge but I'm sure its possible. Put ea. cake in boxes and of course assemble when you get there. If you prepare real well you can do it. But if you decide not too you should not feel guilty one bit your already catering the cookie favors and trays! I'm sure there are threads on transporting cakes, we'll be glad to help you regardless of your decision. icon_smile.gif Do they have their date set yet? Saw you read the post on my daughters wedding. We'll have to keep in touch! Exciting huh!


Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 3:58pm
post #5 of 15

As I sit and read your responses I realize that you both make a lot of sense. What was I thinking? icon_surprised.gif

Thank you!! I feel relieved.

Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 4:03pm
post #6 of 15

Thanks for the encouragement! No date set yet, but I'm just thinking ahead. I was feeling guilty about it, but I do think it would be best to just do the trays and favors.
I'd love to know how you are doing with your plans too.
It sure is exciting!! icon_biggrin.gif

Keep us posted.

-K8memphis Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 4:04pm
post #7 of 15

You must absolutely be ok with not being the mob if you do the cake. Because I mean I could not do both. I did knock the cake ball out of the park for her though if I do say so myself. Here's my story.

Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 5:01pm
post #8 of 15


Unfortunately I can't get your pictures at work, but I'm going to look at home. But just glancing over your info, I was laughing so hard the person in the next cubicle thought I was nuts! And if my mind wasn't made up before - it is now - I'm not baking her cake!!!

SecretAgentCakeBaker Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 5:33pm
post #9 of 15

Phyllis52, Congratulations!

Are you licensed? If not, you may not be able to even make the cookie trays, you'll have to have your daughter find out from the venue. I am in NY and when I got married, we were not allowed to bring in our own cookies. Everything had to be made by a licensed bakery. I have heard the same from other friends here. I don't know if that is for the whole state, or just my county though.

Just wanted to warn you. It would be such a shame if you went through all of that work only to be told you could not bring it in to the reception.

Have a great time being the mother-of-the bride!!

Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 5:44pm
post #10 of 15

Wow, I didn't think about that. I'll have to ask as soon as we have definite plans. Thanks for the heads up!

Amia Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 5:59pm
post #11 of 15
Originally Posted by k8memphis

You must absolutely be ok with not being the mob if you do the cake. Because I mean I could not do both. I did knock the cake ball out of the park for her though if I do say so myself. Here's my story.

icon_eek.gif Wow! That needs to be shown to every bride who questions prices! Turned out beautifully though! And very funny commentary...yeah I read the WHOLE thing! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

poppyseed Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 6:05pm
post #12 of 15

Oh gosh, I have a similar proplem, my son is getting married in Sept. and ASSUMED I would make his wedding cake. I have made some decent birthday cakes for family in the past (2-3 stacked layer) and I can work with fondant and buttercream. I said I didn't think it would be a good idea because I didn't need the stress and my cakes are not that great. Well, he thinks my cakes are great (thanks) Now he is hurt, however the bride has said nothing. I want them to have a picture perfect cake for their special day. I have said I would make cookie favors and the rehearsal dinner cake. I know I can't make a cake like it should look for a wedding, but I also know when they order a cake from a bakery I will feel bad. Well, thanks for letting me get this off my chest! reply to [email protected] with any ideas.

ljhow623 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 6:14pm
post #13 of 15


My heart goes out to you. I'm torn with the same situation. Where in NY is the wedding? If it's upstate maybe I could help you out. PM me if you would like.

Best wishes on the event.


lilacc01 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 6:25pm
post #14 of 15

I read it all as well, you are a good writer! EVERYONE should read that story, it would adjust a lot of attitudes from the "it's just butter, mix and eggs" camp!

Phyllis52 Posted 21 Jan 2009 , 11:23pm
post #15 of 15

k8memphis -

Oh my goodness, I just watched your entire process! I cannot express the respect I have for you. Not only did you make 2 beautiful and awe inspiring cakes, but you documented everything to help others.

I cannot imagine the work you did. The outcome was just spectacular and I thank you for sharing it with us.


Thanks for the offer. I don't know where she'll be married or when, but I'll definitely keep your help in mind.


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