Why Are My Feelings Hurt?

Baking By SpoonfulofSugar Updated 14 Dec 2008 , 3:53am by kellertur

SpoonfulofSugar Posted 12 Dec 2008 , 8:38pm
post #1 of 24

I really should not let it bother me but why does it make me feel bad when my co-workers have a big party and do not ask me to do the cake?....that happened today....they had a cake from Sams or costco. It was not good. I know I should not feel bad b/c they probably just didn't want to pay what I charge...but why not at least ask what I would charge.....anyone else feel this way. Just had to tell someone...and can't tell anyone here at the office. Thanks for listening!

23 replies
chutzpah Posted 12 Dec 2008 , 8:40pm
post #2 of 24

Don't take it personally.

searge Posted 12 Dec 2008 , 9:25pm
post #3 of 24

Don't take it to heart icon_smile.gif I have family who don't even ask me to make cakes for birthdays etc,,,and they're free!(and taste better to boot) I have been told that they prefer I take part in the celebration without having to work to be included. Perhaps that's the reason. Whatever it is, don't worry about it, You know your work is worthy, it's their loss if they miss the opportunity to sample the GOODS!! Take care, and chin up.
Happy Holidays and God Bless.
"searge" thumbs_up.gif

SpoonfulofSugar Posted 12 Dec 2008 , 11:52pm
post #4 of 24

thank y'all for the response...your right I didn't have time to do the cake anyway so I shouldn't complain...take care

Peeverly Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 4:10pm
post #5 of 24

I can see how you would fee bad but..... here are some things to remember. First, you don't know what they are thinking, they could not be thinking at all! Or they could be thinking we don't want "mary" (don't know your real name spoonful) to go to any trouble. or maybe as you said we don't want to pay the price, or whatever. It really isn't about you, it is about them. Really! I am super sensitive and I have come to learn that it really is not about me. Please have confidence in yourself! You make awesome cakes and that's it!!! Maybe you looked tired the day they were going to ask you so they didn't (that's a good one, isn't it??). The reality is that we just don't know what people are thinking so don't draw any conclusions (you were thinking that they don't like your cakes - weren't you??? probably not true at all). We all assume things and make up stuff in our heads that isn't true at all. Believe me, I am the master of it - I can make up the most unbelievable stories in my head - I should have been a writer! So...... be happy you didn't have to go through a lot of work and could just enjoy yourself (even if the cake tasted awful!!). Enough psychology for now! Now, get back in the kitchen and start baking! icon_biggrin.gif

tarheelgirl Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 4:23pm
post #6 of 24

Same here about the family.. I have some that will go to Walmart and get cakes. That is what really hurts!! I would not take the co-workers too personal. I know many times they will order from there because its easier and they don't want to put you out!

seagoat Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 4:41pm
post #7 of 24

I used to feel the same way..I mean the people in my neighborhood have to travel 45 minutes by taking a bus or their personal car to get to the nearest bakery (besides mine). But I figure it's their loss....plus my cakes are cheaper than all yours but way more expensive then the "away" bakery. Sometimes they just want a $12 cake.

Like everyone said, it's their loss not yours. Keep your chin and your confidence up.

dmich Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 4:47pm
post #8 of 24

Also keep in mind that the alternative is that they may always assume that you are going to make the cake for free or small compensation, plus ask you at the last minute.

terrig007 Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 4:54pm
post #9 of 24

I understand and feel the same way. A few weeks ago a little boy on our block had a birthday party and they didn't ask me to do the cake. I really was upset because I was taking my two kiddos to the party as well. They got it from Target and boy was it terrible. At the party the other neighborhood kids and my son all said it was "icky or yucky". The parents said it was inedible and the neighborhood folks asked why they didn't get me to make the cake (of which they said nothing). At the end of the party each plate had 3/4 of the sliced cake left and half of a half sheet left. It was pretty bad but I don't think they wanted to pay me what I would charge either.

-K8memphis Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 5:10pm
post #10 of 24

Here's another facet of this monster.

For example check out the recent thread about Sandra Lee. A formidable slice of womankind are jealous of another's success and are the womanUnkind ones. They want everyone to know. This would be sour grapes maybe, but sour grape vineyards clearly.

I firmly believe it's one of those 'you are succesful so I need to beat you back down into my dark hole.' Just plain insecurity.

Not being political here just making an observation about womankind. So so so so intriguing that powerful women on Sarah Palin's own side bashed the stuffins outa her without even ever having met her.

Ever the more interesting is that high up women's rights folks split like the Red Sea. Some dissed her unmercifully even though she actually embodies the original agenda of equal rights for women. Though some others introduced her as the poster child for womens' rights that they viewed her to be.

Look at how they pillaried Hillary and still do. Less obvious due to being more expected/accepted but actually more ugly brutal due to her stature and longevity. Where are the woman's rights folks to stand up for Hillary?

Nobody's home with those chicks.

Not at all talking Dem/Rep politics.

Just making observations and talking about the nature of women.

For a lot of us it's hard to cheer each other on.

What do you think? Not about politics but about womenkind and womenUnkind.

jammjenks Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 5:28pm
post #11 of 24

Maybe they tought that you would like a cake break. I love doing cakes, but sometimes I enjoy a light cake weekend. Maybe they were trying to be nice and you just took it wrong. Think nothing of it.

kellertur Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 6:02pm
post #12 of 24

I think it hurts because you're human...and it takes guts to admit that. icon_smile.gif

MichelleM77 Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 6:27pm
post #13 of 24

I feel the same way. I tell my family that I would only charge them what the grocery store charges, or not charge them at all depending on how big or small the order, just so I could get more experience, but they go to the grocery store anyway. I'm insecure so I get my feelings hurt. I don't think think they want to bother me, at least that is what my husband tells me. What they don't get is that I want to be bothered, I need the cake practice! LOL!

jillmakescakes Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 6:32pm
post #14 of 24

it so nice to know that I"m not the only one who feels this way.

I know in my head it shouldn't hurt and there are a jillion ( icon_biggrin.gif ) reasons why they didn't ask me, but it still bothers me.

SpoonfulofSugar Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 10:58pm
post #15 of 24

well, glad to know I'm not the only one....I'm over it now.....I've noticed that people at work order cakes for their families all the time but they do not order them for the office.....maybe they just have to be cheap depending on who is paying for it

kelleym Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 11:21pm
post #16 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by k8memphis

Here's another facet of this monster.

For example check out the recent thread about Sandra Lee. A formidable slice of womankind are jealous of another's success and are the womanUnkind ones. They want everyone to know. This would be sour grapes maybe, but sour grape vineyards clearly.

I firmly believe it's one of those 'you are succesful so I need to beat you back down into my dark hole.' Just plain insecurity.
{snip}

What do you think? Not about politics but about womenkind and womenUnkind.




Sorry. There are a million zillion reasons to think Sandra Lee is a buffoon without dragging out the "jus' jellus" argument. icon_biggrin.gif

-K8memphis Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 11:23pm
post #17 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelleym

Quote:
Originally Posted by k8memphis

Here's another facet of this monster.

For example check out the recent thread about Sandra Lee. A formidable slice of womankind are jealous of another's success and are the womanUnkind ones. They want everyone to know. This would be sour grapes maybe, but sour grape vineyards clearly.

I firmly believe it's one of those 'you are succesful so I need to beat you back down into my dark hole.' Just plain insecurity.
{snip}

What do you think? Not about politics but about womenkind and womenUnkind.



Sorry. There are a million zillion reasons to think Sandra Lee is a buffoon without dragging out the "jus' jellus" argument. icon_biggrin.gif




Go ahead make my point. icon_biggrin.gificon_lol.gif

-K8memphis Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 11:31pm
post #18 of 24

Come on--she got ahead by making those foam window valances & stuff like that. She worked her way up.

Look if three of us were gonna pick a restaurent we would come up with at least four names to wade through. Nobody agrees on everything but that doesn't make Sandra less of a person.

When I had my tea room my most expensive item was made with Campbells cream of chicken soup. Shoot me.

She's a smart lady with a great figure and a very creative sharing spirit.

Mac Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 11:35pm
post #19 of 24

The office thing used to bother me, too. Until they ordered one and I had to invoice them TWICE to get paid for it. I guess they thought I would do it for free.

Oh, and they are always asking if I have "mistakes" that need to be taken care of.

I also found out that the owner of the business was wanting to build an event venue. I put her in contact with a friend that was looking for a partner. Then she dissed me to my friend and did not want my friend to include me in anything at the proposed venue. SHEESH!!!!

jkeeler Posted 13 Dec 2008 , 11:50pm
post #20 of 24

This might not apply to your office but at my work they can only used "preferred vendors" meaning they are registered with my firm with tax ID, etc.--just in case they get audited. We had a party yesterday and they ordered a cake--it was fine--and I brought some of my own treats for free in a nice display. Gets me business outside of work with my co-workers. Again, this might not be the case with your situation but take most people's advice here and don't take it personally.

indydebi Posted 14 Dec 2008 , 12:38am
post #21 of 24

I honestly cannot understand why someone gets their feelings hurt when a cake is ordered elsewhere. You don't want to turn into the family member or the co-worker that everyone describes as ".... boy, you better ask HER to do the cake or she'll get all pi$$y about it!"

You want them to order your cake because they WANT to ... not because they feel emotionally blackmailed.

And as someone said, lots of companies have really tight budgets for this and anything over a grocery store sheet cake is just not affordable.

I never lose sleep over someone ordering a cake from someone else. I enjoy those rare times off!

SueW Posted 14 Dec 2008 , 2:16am
post #22 of 24

If that is where they got their cake I am sure they didn't ask you because of cost. They probably didn't want to insult you by asking if you could make a cake for 20$ icon_smile.gif

You'll love this, my own mom just didn't ask me to make my dad's 75th birthday cake icon_eek.gif I know she doesn't think I am good enough but thats her problem.

-K8memphis Posted 14 Dec 2008 , 2:40am
post #23 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by SueW

...

You'll love this, my own mom just didn't ask me to make my dad's 75th birthday cake icon_eek.gif I know she doesn't think I am good enough but thats her problem.




Oh the pain<faint>

Yes it is a huge problem for her. So sorry.

But you turned out pretty good, Cake-buddy.

kellertur Posted 14 Dec 2008 , 3:53am
post #24 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi


You want them to order your cake because they WANT to ... not because they feel emotionally blackmailed.




brilliantly put... thumbs_up.gif

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%