Topper Issue--What Would You Do?

Business By costumeczar Updated 13 Dec 2008 , 3:44pm by costumeczar

costumeczar Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 4:20pm
post #1 of 38

So I get an email from a bride yesterday with some basic information, then she added that she'd attached a picture of the topper she was going to be using. It's HORRIBLE. I don't want to get too specific because talking too much about clients' taste isn't my thing, but this topper is one of those that's a joke but crosses a line of good taste into "eeeeewwwww"

I've had some ugly toppers left for me at reception sites before, but this is the first time I've actually thougth of telling the bride that she might want to reconsider it! What would you do it this situation? I don't want to insult her if she really likes this thing, but man, it's ugly, and I think that people will actually be laughing at her about it!

37 replies
leah_s Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 4:28pm
post #2 of 38

Well, there's no accounting for taste . ..
I'm wondering if it's the Paris one where the bride is "jumping the bones" of her groom. heh heh

I have designed a cake and then suggested that perhaps their topper would look better on the groom's cake, "as the bride's cake is quite elegant and the "humorous" topper may not fit the overall design aesthetic."

costumeczar Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 4:53pm
post #3 of 38

I'm not sure if it's the same one, but it is along those lines! I did a search on it to show my husband, and there are entire blog entries dedicated to how tasteless this particular topper is!

I can't do the groom's cake idea becasue she has a specific groom's cake in mind that wouldn't work with any kind of topper, not only this one!

ngfcake Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 5:14pm
post #4 of 38

Maybe it would be easier for you to tell her if you limit the designs that go with that topper, that is, if the bride likes some design you say yes, this cake is so beautiful and classy, but I don't think it matches your topper! icon_smile.gif

OhMyGanache Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 6:01pm
post #5 of 38

The topper is being added to the cake after you are done with it - I don't see how you should have any say in it. Their wedding, their choice. If it were my cake, I'd be insulted if you questioned my taste.

BlakesCakes Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 8:58pm
post #6 of 38

I really understand how you feel about this--I wouldn't want my name on something embarrassing, either. How awful to have a photo credit somewhere with that topper and your name attached to it!

It's so hard to help people develop some "taste" in this day and age of openly displayed, disgustingly graphic tatoos, hoochie clothes on 6 year olds, wedding dresses that leave nothing to the imagination..........I just don't know...........

I think I'd try to appeal to her by suggesting that perhaps down the road, she'd be sorry to have her children see a photo of the cake in her wedding album......or to have people bring it up in conversation years from now in front of the kids.....or that the shock & negative comments by "older" family members might be uncomfortable.......heck, maybe something will click and she'll "get a clue"...

Good Luck!
Rae

tinygoose Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 9:24pm
post #7 of 38

It's amazing what people do sometimes. When I had my second child I was debating between "Alfonso" or "Joshua". Alfonso was my dads name, and I still love it, but we ended up with Joshua Alfonso and it's perfect for my son.

I asked the baby nurse what the worst name she had ever heard of someone give their child. Would you believe it...it was "Chlamydia"!!! "OMG....isn't that a sexually transmitted disease?" Yes, there is actually some poor girl walking around with this name. The nurse tried to talk this young mother out of it, but she liked the way it sounded. She said the worst boys name was Aggression.

I'd give it a go trying to talk her out of it, tell her it may offend some of her older relatives. In the end there isn't much you can do. Good Luck.

revel Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 9:35pm
post #8 of 38

I agree with polekitten on this! It's her cake..if she wants that topper on it, let her! I'd just make sure i took a pic of it before the topper goes on..lol!

Mac Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 9:43pm
post #9 of 38

Must be something like this...tasteless for a wedding cake but better suited for a bachlorette cake. But hey, you are just responsible for the cake...take a pic before the topper is added.


http://www.joeydevilla.com/2008/09/24/one-thing-i-learned-during-the-engagement/

onceuponacake Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 9:52pm
post #10 of 38

speaking of names a friend of mine told me one mom named her daughter diarrhea...pronouned differently though but please!!

tinygoose Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 10:04pm
post #11 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by onceuponacake

speaking of names a friend of mine told me one mom named her daughter diarrhea...pronouned differently though but please!!




Oh, that's bad. Why do people do that?

kelleym Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 10:29pm
post #12 of 38

One woman who gave birth in the same hospital my mom had me in named her daughter Genitalia. Yes, really.

That said, it's the bride's cake, her choice. Just take your pic before the ugly topper goes on.

leah_s Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 10:44pm
post #13 of 38

Yep that's the topper I was talking about. Is it the one?

Luby Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 11:03pm
post #14 of 38

I sometimes let my butt overload my mouth when I shouldn't, but I really don't think it's your place to tell a bride what kind of topper to put on her cake. I would just make the cake I've been paid to make and leave it at that. Everyone knows it's the bride that chooses the topper not the cake baker.

JMHO icon_smile.gif

indydebi Posted 6 Dec 2008 , 11:45pm
post #15 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luby

I sometimes let my butt overload my mouth when I shouldn't, but I really don't think it's your place to tell a bride what kind of topper to put on her cake. I would just make the cake I've been paid to make and leave it at that. Everyone knows it's the bride that chooses the topper not the cake baker.

JMHO icon_smile.gif




I'm with you on this one. My taste differs from the bride's....her taste differs from mine. Maybe it's an inside joke between them. Maybe it's a big family joke. Maybe they are really off the wall people and the guests will see the topper, laugh and say, "Yeah...that is SO them!"

I will not insult a bride by telling her that her taste is negatively different than mine ... nor will I be arrogant enough to imply that MY taste is superior to her's.

CakesByJen2 Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 12:44am
post #16 of 38

I agree it's tacky, but unless the bride asks your opinion, I wouldn't say anything. However, I would take something else more appropriate to put on the cake for your picture, if you plan on adding it to your portfolio or website. I've never had a bride pick that tacky or ugly of a topper, but I have had one or two I didn't think went with the cake as well as a simple spray of flowers would. I'm not big on toppers anyway.

Naturepixie Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:02am
post #17 of 38

It's the brides wedding shouldn't she get what she wants?

If it insults you to put it on a cake you made, then don't make the cake, that simple.

I actually the the topper is funny.

Just my 2 cents.

icer101 Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:07am
post #18 of 38

i actually don,t see anything that bad if it is the topper with the bride jumping the groom... its actually funny.... like someone said .. it probably fits them to a tee. yes . it is her cake... she picked the tooper..use it... take a picture of it at home with a beautiful something else on it... make the cake.. make the money... its hard times.. economy bad.... get you some money.. just trying to be funny with that staement.. good luck.. hth

costumeczar Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:17am
post #19 of 38

Yeah, that's the one! I think it's funny that with my general description everyone's minds went to the same topper. Shows that it isn't just me that thinks it's a little past funny street and onto embarrassment boulevard.

That's the only reason that I would have even considered saying anything to her, but I'm not going to say anything. I'm definitely of the opinion that it's not my cake, it's theirs, and they can do whatever they want to it. I have a lot of pictures of cakes before the topper was put on, believe me! I have a feeling that between now and the wedding her relatives will have something to say about it, so it might not even end up being what goes on the cake. I've never said anything about ugly toppers to brides before, but I feel sorry for this girl because I know that people are going to laugh at her, not with her. It has nothing to do with it "ruining" my cake, I just feel bad for her questionable judgment. Oh well, live and let live... icon_smile.gif

SpoonfulofSugar Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:25am
post #20 of 38

I have not read all the responses....so someone may have suggested this already but you could recommend that she use the topper on the cake table rather than on the cake

mellormom Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:29am
post #21 of 38

I don't think many people will laugh at her. Most people will see the humor in it and laugh. It obviously fits there personality and there friends will see that.
Jen...

arosstx Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 1:34am
post #22 of 38

My only recommendation would be to make sure you get good pictures of your cake BEFORE you put the topper on it. That way you can still tastefully add it to your portfolio!

leah_s Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 2:46am
post #23 of 38

That very topper was discussed on The Knot once on the Cake chatboard. The young girls were 100% in agreement that it was tacky and inappropriate for a formal occasion. Just sayin'.

Deb_ Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 3:04am
post #24 of 38

That's a new one for me, I've never seen that particular topper. I'm not sure what's worst.........that topper or when the groom smashes a handful of cake all over the brides face, veil, gown, etc......

I think us older gals agree it's tacky and inappropriate, unfortunately the young crowd won't realize that until they're "our" age. Aaaaahhh to be young again........................ icon_rolleyes.gif

PinkZiab Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 4:12am
post #25 of 38

I'm far from a prude, and I love things that are out of the norm (hell my own wedding cake had two dragons as a cake topper), but that thing SCREAMS "I have no class." Unless they're having the wedding reception in the back room of the local dive bar, then it's absolutely perfect.

OhMyGanache Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 3:46pm
post #26 of 38

I guess I'm one of the few who doesn't think it's so bad. I see a woman who just wrapped herself around her man - and I've playfully done that with men before. It's only sexual if your mind takes it there (it's not like his pants are around his ankles).

Frankly, I'd rather see this one on a cake than any of those "ball and chain" toppers or where the bride is trying to keep the groom from running away. At least this topper looks like they're in love.

tonedna Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 3:58pm
post #27 of 38

I think there's not much we can say about it. I have done a few, where the cake topper was definitevely uggly. Some of them had a history, or used on parents weddings. I had one that had a mirror Eiffel tower, The cake was orange and blue.. No account for taste. The reason they did that?..Gator fans and they were going to Paris for the honeymoon.
http://webhosting.web.com/imagelib/sitebuilder/misc/show_image.html?linkedwidth=300&linkpath=http://www.designmeacake.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/newphotos1/.pond/gators.JPG.w300h452.jpg&target=tlx_pichjml
So you see, sometimes you can't fight the history of a couple, simply give them what they want and make their wishes come true..
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

terrylee Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 4:06pm
post #28 of 38

I agree with polekitten.....

As long as it isn't too tacky or dis-tasteful.........What the heck.

tonedna Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 4:06pm
post #29 of 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoleKitten

I guess I'm one of the few who doesn't think it's so bad. I see a woman who just wrapped herself around her man - and I've playfully done that with men before. It's only sexual if your mind takes it there (it's not like his pants are around his ankles).

Frankly, I'd rather see this one on a cake than any of those "ball and chain" toppers or where the bride is trying to keep the groom from running away. At least this topper looks like they're in love.





I agree with this!..They do look like they are so in love.
I did have one wedding where the bride had a fishing poll and had on the other side of the line the groom hooked by his behind!! icon_surprised.gificon_eek.gificon_confused.gif ..
I mean really....did the groom see this!...
Edna icon_biggrin.gif

sari66 Posted 7 Dec 2008 , 6:30pm
post #30 of 38

There's no accounting for taste, but it is her cake. Just take your pics first then place the topper

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