Immediate Help Needed Please!!!

Decorating By 2508s42 Updated 15 Oct 2008 , 4:44pm by mrsw

2508s42 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 12:13am
post #1 of 37

I am not sure what to do, but I AM sure that this has never been covered in this forum.

A friend of mine ordered a cake today that I am uncomfortable making. If she were just a customer, I would have said no... but she has referred a TON of business to me and buys about 10 cakes a year at about $75 a pop.

So she works in a hospital, labor and delivery, and apparently there is a doctor there who HATES fat women. Apparently they (the other nurses and the doctor) have had extensive conversations about how gross they are...etc. (I should mention here that I am about 100 lbs over weight)

So his birthday is next week, and the nurses want a 3d "grotestly (sp) obese woman in a sexy pose with a pretty face...in chocolate cake...and could you make all the celulite dimples and stuff? Oh, and we want her in a g-string and pasties so her fat is all hanging out nasty and stuff".

Notice the quotes. Again, I am overweight, but that is not the only reason I object to this cake. 1. This is a PUBLIC hospital
2. LABOR and DELIVERY (who doesn't feel gross at that point?)
3. Sexual harrassment potential
4. What if they get FIRED???
5. It's mean.
6. I don't want to have my name attached to such an offensive and rude cake.

Am I wrong?? Tell me how to get out of this...or what are some suggestions to make what they want w/o compromising myself?
Remember, a lot of business comes from this lady and her department and I don't want to lose that.

36 replies
lorrieg Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 12:23am
post #2 of 37

I would just say that you are very sorry but you are totally booked up and are unable to do the cake.

I don't think you have to explain further than that.

I wouldn't touch that cake myself and if I lost the customer, so be it.

Go with your principles and gut feeling.

sugarshack Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 12:29am
post #3 of 37

1) what horrible people to make fun of people with weight problems

2) shame on him, a doctor of all things. ( don't want him to be my doctor)

3) how rude and insensistive to go on about "fat" to an overweight "friend".

4) may I suggest you tell her you are offended by request and you are not comfortable doing the cake.

5) no way I would do that cake


some people; sheesh.

cylstrial Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 1:23am
post #4 of 37

That is seriously terrible. I say tell her that your booked like LorrieG suggested!

SugarFrosted Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 1:33am
post #5 of 37

Being "booked" is always the way to go...no hurt feelings, no need to make a horribly offensive cake.

Deb_ Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 1:37am
post #6 of 37

Agree with all the others........I'd go with the "sorry, I'm all booked". As for the Doctor and staff at that hospital.......what disgusting people they are.

tracycakes Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 1:43am
post #7 of 37

If you don't feel comfortable doing it, don't do it and just tell her you can't make it. Never do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing.

moxey2000 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 1:57am
post #8 of 37

...and here I was thinking that I just couldn't be shocked! Silly me.

I agree, you're booked, so sorry, just can't make that 'cake'.

tomsmom245 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:00am
post #9 of 37

that's AWFUL!! You're all booked up.

mommy2djb Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:01am
post #10 of 37

I would not be available to make that cake. And if they ask why, by all means, tell them it's horribly offensive!

diamondsonblackvelvet13 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:01am
post #11 of 37

Wow! Horrible! I vote go with being booked!

apetricek Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:03am
post #12 of 37

I agree with the others I would say that I was booked, or that I had to deliver a cake far away and that I wouldn't be available to do the cake. Don't let a customer make you compromise your principles. I wouldn't want the cake to be linked to me and my business. I think this doctor is a complete JERK!!! With the way people are so "touchy" these days....it could start a whole mess! I would stay as far away from it as possible! I know I have been asked to do "male parts" cakes and I am not comfortable doing them, since I have a 13 year old....I always use the oh sorry I am all booked and just can't fit another one in...I wouldn't worry about loosing her as a customer, if you tell her this little while lie...I just don't think it is worth all what could come out of it, plus making you uncomfortable with it....best of luck to you.....

stephaniescakenj Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:04am
post #13 of 37

well if you still wanted to do some sort of cake for her, but not that one, which quite frankly does sound pretty creepy, you could say you're booked but being that she is a valuable customer, you can squeeze in something simple and offer another suggestion?

Wildrose6633 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:06am
post #14 of 37

OMG how horrible, No I wouldn't do it either, I would say I'm booked sorry can't possibly book another cake that day.

robinscakes Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:11am
post #15 of 37

Booked is the easy way out. I think if I were in your shoes I'd tell my friend that I wouldn't do the cake because it would be against my principles. I know times are tight and money is money, but I wouldn't be able to walk away from that without stating my beliefs. If you want to keep her as a customer, though, saying you're booked is the safest way to go. But what if she wants to you make an innappropriate cake the next time????

And that doctor should be forced to squeeze another 40-50 lbs into his body for 9 months and see how he feels!!!!! I'd be happy to squeeze it in there for him, and I'm sure I could find some willing participants to help me.

bethola Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:19am
post #16 of 37

NO CAKE FOR THEM!

tarheelgirl Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:26am
post #17 of 37

I totally agree! You are booked... plus I would not want my name on that cake either!!! Bad for business! thumbsdown.gif

pinklesley1 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:31am
post #18 of 37

what an @$$hole... i would so not do the cake... never... yeah i would Sooooo BE BOOKED... i am overweight, and strugling to loose weight... i have lost 15 lbs in the last month and a half... but i have struggled with my weight all my life.... yeah i would so not do that cake...

sweetRN Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:34am
post #19 of 37

First of all as a nurse I am so offended that others in my profession carry on like that, second... Well I won't say it but that Dr. should be ashamed and no longer allowed to practice.
I agree you should say you are simply too busy this week to take on such a complicated order. (and shame on your "friend/customer" for thinking this order is appropriate and that your feelings might be hurt)

Suzycakes Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:41am
post #20 of 37

I'm not sure what area you are located in - but I believe you need to be honest and tell your good customer that you will not make this cake in the way she wants because it is offensive, rude and hurtful.

Where else is she going to go to get this cake made? In my area - it would be NoWhere! Is there that much competition in your area that you have to seriously worry about losing her business?

I guess (please don't flog me!!) I have too much faith that people will do the right thing when the time comes - I think that if you are honest with her - she will see the error of her way and come up with an alternate idea for a cake.

But I also agree with the pp that they could be fired or seriously reprimanded for having this cake in a hospital setting.

Neicey76 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:43am
post #21 of 37

I am slightly overweight myself and this just pisses me off. tell that "heffa" that you are already overbooked with orders for that date and can't fit such a detailed cake in. that BIOTCH needs a reality check.

momvarden Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:48am
post #22 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by robinscakes

Booked is the easy way out. I think if I were in your shoes I'd tell my friend that I wouldn't do the cake because it would be against my principles. I know times are tight and money is money, but I wouldn't be able to walk away from that without stating my beliefs. If you want to keep her as a customer, though, saying you're booked is the safest way to go. But what if she wants to you make an innappropriate cake the next time????

And that doctor should be forced to squeeze another 40-50 lbs into his body for 9 months and see how he feels!!!!! I'd be happy to squeeze it in there for him, and I'm sure I could find some willing participants to help me.




I agree with robinscakes, i think that you could take the simple way out, but these woman who want the cake for him are not any better. they are perpetuating this doctors problem. Not to mention the fact its demeaning
for women. Being honest with her in a tackful way might make you feel better and stronger. You have to do whats best for the situation and mostly for you.

ATCakes Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:52am
post #23 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by robinscakes

Booked is the easy way out. I think if I were in your shoes I'd tell my friend that I wouldn't do the cake because it would be against my principles. I know times are tight and money is money, but I wouldn't be able to walk away from that without stating my beliefs. If you want to keep her as a customer, though, saying you're booked is the safest way to go. But what if she wants to you make an innappropriate cake the next time????

And that doctor should be forced to squeeze another 40-50 lbs into his body for 9 months and see how he feels!!!!! I'd be happy to squeeze it in there for him, and I'm sure I could find some willing participants to help me.



I'll help. I can think of a few places I would like to shove it in!!!

dragonflydreams Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:01am
post #24 of 37

. . . firstly . . . I'd be booked . . .



. . . secondly . . . I can't believe the insensitivity of your "friend" . . . if you say you are 100 pounds over weight, I can't imagine a "friend" thinking that her request could possibly be appropriate . . .


. . . lastly . . . they should all be ashamed of themselves . . .

and yes there could be serious harassment repercussions if this was in a workplace setting . . .

Suzy23 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:28am
post #25 of 37

I completely agree with dragonflydreams and everyone else. The thought that my "friend" would even think of approaching me to make such a cake would be so offensive to me. It's also disappointing to hear that some health "professionals" would think this behavior is acceptable.

If you're afraid of losing the business from these people, then I would say you're booked! But under no circumstances, don't give in to the pressure of doing something you're not comfortable with.

I wouldn't want my name associated with this kind of cake either!!

Good luck! icon_smile.gif

2508s42 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 2:58pm
post #26 of 37

Thanks for your help everyone. I feel much better. There are some people that just are able to get me to do whatever they want, and she is one of them. I am always caving to her. Not a good friend I guess.

I talked to her this morning and told her I couldn't make the cake because of the nature of what they wanted. I told her I was afraid of having to hide it from my two 13 year old sons, and didn't want to compromise my family. She was like, oh I didn't even think of that. Then she said that she would talk to the staff and they would come up with a different, less offensive design, but they still want to get a cake for this doctor.

Honesty worked out. Like my husband said... I am not a cake prostitute. I don't HAVE to perform for money. icon_smile.gif

Birdiepants Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:06pm
post #27 of 37

Way To Go!!!!!!!!!!!!

juleskaye518 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:07pm
post #28 of 37

Cake prostitute!! Heheee that made me laugh. I'm so glad you went the honest route. Stick to your guns!!

maimerbaker Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:13pm
post #29 of 37

No cake! Not because you are booked, but because it is horribly offensive! No way would I take part in that!

diamondsonblackvelvet13 Posted 15 Oct 2008 , 3:16pm
post #30 of 37

Way to go! Congrats for standing up for yourself!

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