So my son is having problems on the job - boss is always on his case and this seems to be a chronic problem. I get the impression that some of the bosses complaints might be legit, but also (based on comments from coworkers, etc.) the boss sounds like a real jerk who has never been able to keep a person in that position for long.

I never quite know how to respond. I probably alienated by son by telling him he needs to do what it takes to be a stellar employee (and not give his boss any reason to complain), but what he probably wanted was just to vent, etc.

Maybe I should shut up unless he asks for advice? Hmmm.

That is very hard to do. I know that's probably what all mothers should do but I never could do that. We always want to believe the best for our kids so when their hurting you hurt no matter how old they are. I'm sure this is not helping but just letting you know we are all human even super moms.

I've found that just sharing my experiences in similar situations works ok .... it's not "telling them what to do", it's not giving unsolicited advice, but it's shows that it's a common problem that others encounter also. And who knows .. he may learn from your experiences.

My oldest daughter had a teacher in high school who was a total jerk. We just told her this was a good life lesson ..... at some point in her life, she might have a boss who is the same way and this was a good time to learn that sometimes you just have to deal with 'em until you can move on.

Watch this video and then think about sending it to him.
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=3486473n

I am a young person to and some people just need to have it given to them straight. And then there are a lot of CRUMMY bosses out there. Listen to him and tell him to not let it effect his work performance, most of the time the boss' boss will notice a good employee.

Sometimes I just want to vent and really don't want anyone to offer suggestions and advice. Other times I am talking out something with someone so they can give me a different opinion.

Why don't you ask your son while he is venting if he would like some advice. If he doesn't, then keep your thoughts to yourself. He's a grown boy and will learn to straighten up some at work or he will be looking for another job. If he does, then you can share your thoughts with him.

I also like Deb's idea of telling a story that follows the same lines. Gives insight with out making it all about how he needs to do this and that.

LOLOL My mother loves to give advice. Believe me it's annoying as hell. Sometimes you just need to be quiet, and listen. You know the very common complaint that men don't listen, neither do mothers. If he asks for advice give it, if not, don't.

Mike

I'd just listen, and only give advice when asked. My mom always offers advice when I'm just telling her about what is going on in our life, and I agree w/ Mike-it IS annoying as hell!

I always ask my kids if they want advice or are just venting. If they say venting, I tell them to vent away - it's healthy!