other women call you honey or sweetie? Maybe I'm just oversensitive, but it really bothers me. I'm 31, been married 10 years and have two boys ages 8 and 6. I look at LEAST 10 years younger, and don't really sound much older on hte phone either. I feel like when htey use the terms honey or sweetie, they think I'm a teenager and it bothers me. I know, I should probably just get over it, but I'm an adult, and feel like they think I'm not. Am I taking this wrong?

It really has a lot to do with how the person is saying it. The tone used. and also who the the person is. Many people think using these words put other at ease because they convey a "I'm being nice message."

I don't like it either from either sex, but it depends. Some people just talk that way, so I ignore it, but it's too sappy for my liking.

I dealt with a salesman once who used those terms when he talked to me and he sure didn't get my business.

I don't know--you might be--I've always felt the same way you do though. Sometimes it is just an innocent endearment. More often I think it is patronizing--it almost always makes you wonder though.

When a man says it I definitely say, "My name is Kate". And I do it as often as they say it. It usually takes two or three times for it to sink in. Or I'll repeat what they say, "Sweetie?" in a 'you gotta be kidding me' tone of voice.

Now that I am 57--but I look much younger-hahaha--umm, back to reality, I do use the term Munchkin ocaasionally--sweetie I use once in a while but not to patronize.

If I have somone in my midst that I want to patronize then I'm in the wrong y'know? I try to find a different way to handle people who get on my nerves. It's just too obvious if I say honey or sweetie to someone who is a pia. I guess I avoid the word honey altogether because it has that ambiguousness to it.

It depends on how it is being used - If I"m at Waffle House or Walmart, I have no problem with it. If I'm at a bank to get a loan then I have a really big problem with it.
Some people are just raised to use those terms.

It doesn't bother me if it's someone I know, or even someone who is much older than I am, but when it's someone around my age/younger/40's, it really does bother me. I was at the pharmacy yesterday dropping of rx's, and the girl at the counter said something like "Have you been here beofre sweetie?". It really burned my rear! She was probably close to my age, and her tone was as if I was younger.. Same thing when I called to reschedule my hair appt this morning...You call us back when you want to reschedule honey, and we'll be sure to work you in. Maybe I'm just hypersensitive this week since a few people have made comments about they can't believe I'm actually married, or can't believe my kids are MY kids!

big pet peeve of mine...being called "honey" by strangers. however, i don't take it as them thinking i'm younger then them. people who used "sweetie" and "honey" say it to EVERYONE. i guess they just think they're being friendly??

As I get older, I do object strongly to being called a diminutive, unless it's obvious the person calls everyone that.
The pharmacy would probably bother me, but I'd bet the salon woman uses that term to everyone, she sounds like my daughter who calls everyone 'dear'.

It doesn't bother me at all, but I am from south GA.

yep, it bugs the crap outta me. i bought an outfit the other day and the girl helping me called me "hon" about 15 times. as i was checking out she said "thanks hon" and i was thinking "you're welcome zipper head". she was a stranger and a good 10 years younger than me and i am a grouch (or was that day at least). i think those were the major contributing factors

maybe you're right though michelle, i would sound different coming from paula dean rather than a gum smacking 20 year old with blue eyeshadow.

Wait til you're in your 40's and they start calling you Ma'm (sp?)

My DH knows it bothers me so he'll make a joke out of it with something like "you got ma'med"..........I immediately check my roots when I get home because I figure I must have a lot of gray showing.

As far as honey or sweetie.....it really bothers me when a complete stranger calls me that. Another thing that bothers me is when I hand my checkcard over to pay at a store and the 17yr old gum chewing clerk hands it back to me and says "Thanks Debra, have a good one". I really want to smack the clerks that do that, who gave them permission to call us by our name in front of a line of people?

As far as honey or sweetie.....it really bothers me when a complete stranger calls me that. Another thing that bothers me is when I hand my checkcard over to pay at a store and the 17yr old gum chewing clerk hands it back to me and says "Thanks Debra, have a good one". I really want to smack the clerks that do that, who gave them permission to call us by our name in front of a line of people?[/quote]

In alot of stores they encourage us to learn names and call people by names. It personalizes (so they say) the shopping experience.

Agree with who is saying it and how it's said. Usually I'm not offended. I'm with darandon's opinion on this one.

However........ (oh come on! You KNEW I'd venture off on this one, didn't ya?)

Before I go further, let me say that I LIKE getting older. I look FORWARD to my 50th birthday next January. 40 was Fabulous and 50 will be even better!! I am NOT complimented to be asked for my ID. I do NOT find it complimentary for someone to think I look like an air-headed 16 year old! I stopped coloring my hair because I LIKE the gray look ... I use it as a marketing tool.

I am an almost-50 year old grandmother! I find it disrespectful for people to assume that "all women" are shallow and get all giggly when others "pretend" to think they are younger than their well-earned years!

That said, I firmly put a guy in his place once. I was paying inside a gas station and he called me "young lady". I smiled very sweetly (in that look that my husband says really means someone is about to die!) and said in a firm, loud voice, "Every woman knows that when people start calling her "young lady", that she has officially become "old" and to be called "young lady" is very patronizing and insulting." (smile sweetly .... and non-verbally remind him that if he does it again, he will die). He kinda laughed (the nervous kind) and said, "Ohhhhhh-Kay, then!"

And he's never called me "young lady" again.

I don't like being called "hon" because I don't like that word. Like "purse" -- just don't like the word. But by and large, it doesn't really bother me. I am in my mid-approaching-late 30's, and I think it is funny when I get called ma'am. People around here don't usually call people honey or sweetie, so when it happens, it is kind of a novelty. I would be ticked off if I thought someone was deliberately patronizing me, but usually if someone calls me honey, they are calling everyone honey.

That bothers me too. There is this man that I work with at my part time job and he never calls me by my name (I wear a name tag) its always babe honey sweetie and now (this pi**es me off) WOMAN!!! Show a little respect call me by my real name!

In the south, everyone is 'dear', 'hon', or 'sweetie', especially if you go into a diner or any restaurant where older ladies are working. I take no offense because it's just a southern thing - part of that "southern hospitality" thing.

Ooohhhh -- forgot about woman. HATE THAT. My husband does it. I don't know if he thinks he is being real macho or if he just likes to piss me off, but he will sometimes call me "WOMAN" and I think it is just like calling a dog. Doesn't help that another of his annoying habits is that instead of saying, come here please, or I need to see you, he just says, "come" -- again -- sounds like calling a dog. And what really ticks me off is that calling him "MAN" just sounds jokey, so there isn't anything I can call him back to show him how annoying it is (and YES, I have told him I HATE HATE HATE it).

Do not answer when he calls you a name you don't like (or treats you like a dog with 'come'). When he asks why, tell him your name is not____. He should get the idea quite fast.

I do ignore him or tell him not to call me that, but he has not gotten the idea. Which leads me to believe he does it just to be provoking.

my mom absolutely hates is when she's called hunny or hun at a restaurant or diner. i don't mind it. in my circle of friends, hun is a term of endearment.

i do, however, hate getting ma'amed. one time i was in a restaurant and was called 'miss' i liked that much better.

when i worked in retail, we were actually trained to call people by their names (last names) if they paid by credit card, check, etc. you were supposed to say, 'thank you, mr/ms <name>. have a good day.'

I agree...tone counts, but the vast majority aren't trying to offend in any way. It's just not worth worrying about.
I had to laugh today. I work in an elementary school and work with all 376 kids. There is NO way I can remember all their names (funny thing, I remember all the names of the kids who make me NUTS! *lol*). Anyway, so I'll call them sweetie or punkin and they like it. So today, a little girl, kindergarten, obviously couldn't remember my last name. It's a LOOONNNGGGG name and hard for the little ones to wrap their mouths around, so anyway, she raised her hand and said "Mrs. Sweetie, I need help!"
It just tickled me so much!

OK wow ALL of you would HATE ME!
I am 28 and I say Ma'am to EVERYONE female I don't care if you are 5 years old or are 100 years old if I'm talking to you, then you will be called a ma'am that is just plain respect period. And in my opinion more people should say ma'am and sir more often. I say sweetie, hun, honey shoot I'm sure there would be a thousand more things on my list of regular vocabulary words that y'all would hate (w/ y'all probably being one of them). But I am a southern girl thru and thru and well that is just how things are. I do not do it out of disrespect in fact it is out of RESPECT that I say those things.... So I suppose I should apologize now for all of us southern girls out there now LOL... b/c I doubt it's going to change I know I would have a very hard time getting thru my day w/o saying hun/honey/sweetie all day long

I actually love it when someone calls me sweetie/dear/hon/baby...whatever...maybe I am just starved for affection!! ha ha. I don't think people do it to be condescending, it's just their personality to talk to people like that.

I hate being ma'amed or called Mrs. XXX. I'm 34 (probably look it or older!) but feel like I'm in my early 20's and expect to be called by my first name. All my kids friends call me by my first name.

The honeys/dears/sweeties are fine when coming from Grandma and Grandpa types. It's almost like a little hug to me!

People who are sincere - I don't mind at all.

We are currently selling our house and the office admin calls me sweetie and hon. One day I counted how many times she used either of them in a 3 minute call about some paperwork - 13 times. It really grates on my nerves. I have never met this woman either.

oh! i have an exception! my uncle tom calls me cupcake. not many people could do that. especially since i don't look like someone who would be called cupcake! he's my favorite uncle and i adore him. it's a term of endearment. i call my students turkey a lot of the time!

I think it's funny how it bothers some, others don't mind. I totally grates my nerves though!