What Would You Do? (No Contact With Bride/friend)

Business By mom2spunkynbug Updated 6 Nov 2008 , 4:57pm by cakedout

mom2spunkynbug Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:28pm
post #1 of 33

I'll try to make this as short as possible... icon_biggrin.gif

Last November, an old friend found me on myspace & saw my cakes and wanted me to make her birthday cake (which was less than a week away). I told her that it was cutting it pretty close, but that I would. She loved the cake & told me she wanted me to do her wedding cake in about a year. She wanted pricing info & all that. I told her I could give her all that info at the bridal show (that I was going to be a vendor at, and she was attending).

The bridal show was in January, I didn't know exactly what she wanted, but gave her basic info/rates. Told her I would deduct $50 (the birthday cake).

I saw her in February at another bridal show, did a quick sketch of what she wanted, and I think later that day (or week) gave her an exact amount & told her all about the process (50% down to hold the date, 50% due at least 2 weeks before wedding & signed contract). I'm sure I told her (emailed her) more than once about all of this.

Her wedding is the first week of November (in one month) and I have never heard from her. Should I just send out a friendly email? I hate to "chase down" customers...but seeing how she was a friend (not a best friend or anything).....

I'd just HATE for her to think I'm doing her cake! I don't even know all the details of the wedding (exactly when or where or at what time). Although she may think that I know this because I'm a member of the wedding company she gave all her info to.

Oh, I also told her that I would do her bridal shower cake as well (for free!), and she had told me that it was going to be in August. She even told me what she wanted her cake to look like. I never heard from her in August or anything. Last time she emailed me was in January.

I recently went to her myspace page (to see if she was still getting married) and she has something about her upcoming bachelorette party in a few weeks (in another part of the state).

I don't know what's going on & at this point I'm not even sure what to say to her - so what would you do?

icon_confused.gif

32 replies
bobwonderbuns Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:36pm
post #2 of 33

Well I'm not good at doling out advice so I'll just tell you my own policies: I tell the brides that I'm booked one year in advance. At that point I get a $$ deposit (nonrefundable) which is applied to the final cost of the cake. I sit down with them once more between 6 and 8 months of the wedding and discuss final arrangements. One month before the wedding I get the final $$ and the day of the wedding they get a spectacular cake. I don't chase customers -- if they want a cake they can come to me. Good luck dear and let us know what happens.

AZCakeGirl Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:44pm
post #3 of 33

Sounds to me like your probably not going to be doing the cake, but you never know. Since she is a friend, I would write her a quick email something like this......

Hi (name here),

I haven't talked to you in a while & I know your wedding is coming up. Although we discussed it quite a bit, you never actually reserved the date with me to make your wedding cake so I just wanted to make sure that you have made other arrangements (I would hate for you to not have a cake on your wedding day!). If you still need me to do it, then I would be happy to meet with you so we can take care of payment, contracts, etc. We would need to do this within the next week though as my schedule is getting booked with orders. If you have found someone else to do it for you, then that's fine too. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

Your friend,
(your name here)

That's just my quick thought on what to write, of course you can change it any way you like. That keeps it on a friendly basis & to me, it doesn't sound like you are pressuring a sale, just helping to make sure she has everything taken care of. If she responds, then great, if not, then she probably has somebody else to do the cake.

stsapph Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:44pm
post #4 of 33

It sounds to me like she found someone else to do the cakes, but I would give her a call just to be sure, something friendly just to see what's going on. That way, you can be sure of whether you are doing the cake or not and she has a reminder if she is still planning on using you.

mom2spunkynbug Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:51pm
post #5 of 33

Thanks everyone. AZCakeGirl, that sounds great! LOL I'm going to say something like that!

Who is it on here that said beware of brides with "princess" & "diva" in their email? LOL (I'm dealing with a "princess" here) icon_biggrin.gif

Wish me luck icon_smile.gif

Deb_ Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:55pm
post #6 of 33

[quote="mom2spunkynbug
I'd just HATE for her to think I'm doing her cake! I don't even know all the details of the wedding (exactly when or where or at what time). Although she may think that I know this because I'm a member of the wedding company she gave all her info to.
I don't know what's going on & at this point I'm not even sure what to say to her - so what would you do?
icon_confused.gif[/quote]


Is it possible for you to find out if she has a cake ordered somewhere else through the wedding company that you're a member of?
It seems that if she were going to order the cake from you that she would have contacted you by now. No monies were exchanged, and you said you never got the final design detail right?

If it were me, I'd assume she found another baker and not try to contact her again.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you icon_smile.gif

Sweetcakes23 Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 7:56pm
post #7 of 33

I too am always paid "in advance" and "in full" before the wedding so that I'm not chasing someone down on the day of the blessed event to get final payment. I would assume that since your "friend" has not contacted you, she has found someone else to do her cake. At the most, I would send her an email wishing her best of luck on her marriage and future telling her how happy you are for her, and that you are assuming she found someone to do her cake, and that's perfectly ok with you, you just want her to be happy! That way, she isn't afraid to face you and you don't look like a sore loser over business. I always find it difficult if a friend chooses not to use me and yet I'm still invited to the event. That's when I ALWAYS make a point to "Eat THE DAMN CAKE!" and say how good it is..... icon_rolleyes.gif We HAVE to be the bigger person.
However, like my DH says, my cakes are higher end than most around here, and not everyone can afford me! icon_smile.gif So, I just try and tell myself not EVERYONE is going to put the cake as their priority. GASP! WHAT???? (I know I didn't say that did I?) We just can't take it personally.
I'll get off my soap box now.... icon_wink.gif

summernoelle Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:00pm
post #8 of 33

I would guess that she isn't interested after all...with the whole free shower cake thing.
I don't like chasing after people either, but since this is someone from your past, it won't hurt to send over a simple email just asking.
Good luck!

bobwonderbuns Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:02pm
post #9 of 33

You know that happened to someone here on CC not all that long ago, they didn't hear from the bride and the day of the wedding came and she hadn't made the cake because her calls were not returned -- come to find out she was supposed to do the cake so she whipped one up that day and delivered it only to have I think it was the mother of the bride or someone say "what did you forget to make the cake?" icon_confused.gif She said "no, I didn't get any return phone calls regarding the cake so I didn't know what was going on." Honestly! I think the decorator handled it beautifully.

mom2spunkynbug Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:04pm
post #10 of 33

dkelly27 - unfortunately there really isn't a way to find out if she ordered with someone else.

sweetcakes23 - ok, I've never been in that situation! (invited to the wedding and not chosen as the baker!) That must be awkward! But like you said...not everyone can afford us! And I don't budge on my prices. She did tell me that she was paying for everything herself (her and her fiance) back last year. Maybe she was thinking I'd cut her a deal! (Well, I did with the free bridal shower cake & $50 deduction - maybe it wasn't enough).

By the way, do people have bridal showers AND bachelorette parties? (I didn't have either, so I have no idea.)

mom2spunkynbug Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:07pm
post #11 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobwonderbuns

You know that happened to someone here on CC not all that long ago, they didn't hear from the bride and the day of the wedding came and she hadn't made the cake because her calls were not returned -- come to find out she was supposed to do the cake so she whipped one up that day and delivered it only to have I think it was the mother of the bride or someone say "what did you forget to make the cake?" icon_confused.gif She said "no, I didn't get any return phone calls regarding the cake so I didn't know what was going on." Honestly! I think the decorator handled it beautifully.




WOW I missed that post! I do NOT want that happening to me! I'd be a wreck! thumbsdown.gif

Lawanda1 Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:08pm
post #12 of 33

I would think that since she didn't contact you regarding the cake in August (either to confirm it or to question what happened that you didn't provide it) she has probably moved on with her choice or maybe her plans have changed...either way just to have peace of mind or perhaps just closure I would send her an email saying I realize the wedding is very near and that since I haven't heard anything from you ,I'll assume that you have made other arrangements but if I'm wrong or if I can be of any help to please let me know within 5 days...if no contact after x date then...CASE CLOSED...hth birthday.gif

bobwonderbuns Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:09pm
post #13 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2spunkynbug

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobwonderbuns

You know that happened to someone here on CC not all that long ago, they didn't hear from the bride and the day of the wedding came and she hadn't made the cake because her calls were not returned -- come to find out she was supposed to do the cake so she whipped one up that day and delivered it only to have I think it was the mother of the bride or someone say "what did you forget to make the cake?" icon_confused.gif She said "no, I didn't get any return phone calls regarding the cake so I didn't know what was going on." Honestly! I think the decorator handled it beautifully.



WOW I missed that post! I do NOT want that happening to me! I'd be a wreck! thumbsdown.gif



Yeah, there was a whole thread on it not long ago (I wouldn't have the first clue where to look for it though and I'm repeating the story from memory) but maybe someone else remembers that. Anyway, the fact that the bride never got back to her despite repeated calls and emails -- what the heck was the designer supposed to think??? icon_confused.gif

mellormom Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:19pm
post #14 of 33

By the way, do people have bridal showers AND bachelorette parties? (I didn't have either, so I have no idea.)
Yes they do. icon_smile.gif
Jen...

CakeMakar Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:34pm
post #15 of 33

Bridal showers are the more "proper" event. Especially for those that don't want a late night of drinking & oogling scantilly clad men & wearing condoms as fashion accessories. It's the party my mother in law went to. Hee hee.

I agree you should send a friendly message more making sure she was tended to.

Kiddiekakes Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:35pm
post #16 of 33

I would drop a friendly general email stating above mentioned as well.Keep the email on file that way if something happens and she says she called you..emailed you...you have proof that you tried to get in contact with her...She has probably booked with someone else!!

weirkd Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 8:58pm
post #17 of 33

I would definetly call her and that way you can talk to her. This way you can say to her that you havent heard from her and just want to make sure that your NOT doing the cake because the date is already reserved for someone else since you didnt hear from her. That will give her some relief because it sounds like she is going with someone else and maybe is afraid to face you about it. She might think you might get upset by her doing this when really all you want is a confirmation. And she feels the need to avoid you over it.
I would think if she was indeed going with you, she would of taken you up on the bridal shower offer or atleast given you some kind of details.

MaisieBake Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 9:38pm
post #18 of 33

Two conversations close to a year ago do not equal a sale. Move on.

whimsette Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 10:49pm
post #19 of 33

I agree with others and urge to you contact her to see what's up. It's best not to assume she's moved on ... yet.

In your email do say that you need a signed contract and full payment (since the event is only 1 month away) by xx/yy/zz date to hold the date. If you don't receive anything by then, she will forfeit the date and no cake will be made. Be firm on the dates and payment terms. Save the email for future reference should you need it.

Momkiksbutt Posted 5 Oct 2008 , 11:15pm
post #20 of 33

Well I think two things about this situation.

1) You should always have a person sign a contract and give you a down payment at the very first meeting, and once you decide that you are definately going to be contracted for the event.

This will help the client to be more inclined to stay with you, especially if they know the money is non-refundable. And then I would send or call her with a reminder for the remainder at appropriate intervals.

2) Never offer to do a cake for free. I have done this thinking I was doing myself a good thing in getting noticed and then I would get some clients out of it. WRONG...if you do that then people just think they can get something for free. Your time is worth something, and certainly it costs you to use ingredients. You deserve to get paid for them both.

If you have this girls phone number I'd give her a call first. And then I'd send her a letter. If you don't get a response, then assume she is avoiding you, has found another artist to do her cake bidding, and move on to the next client.

Chalk it up to experience and don't make the same mistake again....we have all been there in one form or another hun.

Let us know how it turns out though k?

Lisa thumbs_up.gif

Pookie59 Posted 6 Oct 2008 , 10:11pm
post #21 of 33

Okay so you haven't heard from her since January? I would not waste another minute of my time on this. You told her your terms and she hasn't complied with that so I would have to conclude that either she is not interested and has found someone else or she's going to be your worse PITA nightmare (last minute cake, good luck getting $$).

cylstrial Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 2:36am
post #22 of 33

I think you should send an email or a letter. AZcakes had a great little letter. I'm a big fan of Judge shows and there was a situation like this on one of the shows the other day. The caterer knew that the girl had hired him, he had taken her deposit, but the girl never paid the rest of the money. The caterer assumed that she had gone with another company. The bridge got married and was waiting for her food... and the mother of the bride was calling trying to figure out where the food was. To make a long story short, the bride was very upset and she had just forgotten. It wouldn't hurt to remind her.

Goodluck!

CakeForte Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 2:44am
post #23 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by cylstrial

I think you should send an email or a letter. AZcakes had a great little letter. I'm a big fan of Judge shows and there was a situation like this on one of the shows the other day. The caterer knew that the girl had hired him, he had taken her deposit, but the girl never paid the rest of the money. The caterer assumed that she had gone with another company. The bridge got married and was waiting for her food... and the mother of the bride was calling trying to figure out where the food was. To make a long story short, the bride was very upset and she had just forgotten. It wouldn't hurt to remind her.

Goodluck!




In this case though, no money was exchanged and no contract was formed. From everything the OP said, this is not a booking. The client knew the terms up front and didn't make any effort to confirm/pay. I've done wedding cakes for friends and I treated all of the paperwork just like any other client, the key here though was there was paperwork!

cylstrial Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 1:35pm
post #24 of 33

Sorry, I should gave clarified what I meant. I didn't mean there was any chance of you ending up on a judge show. I was just giving the example so that you would know that you wouldn't have the same problem with the bride; that she would for some insane reason think that you are still making her cake. IMO, better safef than sorry.

AZCakeGirl Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 4:53pm
post #25 of 33

Regardless of whatever the situation is (possibly thinking she doesn't need a contract because she's a "friend" etc.) or if she has gone with someone else.......I would DEFINETLY attempt to contact her & not "just forget about it" as a few people have mentioned. (At least if you care about your reputation with other vendors, clients etc.)

It really does sound like she has found somebody else, but you need to think about what will happen if she thought you were still doing it & you don't show up with a cake......she will be telling EVERYONE (friends, the venue, other brides.....) that you were supposed to do her cake & you never showed up. Now, regardless of who's right, who's wrong, contracts, payments, etc., the only thing she's going to be mentioning is that YOU didn't show up with the cake. And when she starts gossiping to everyone why her wedding was ruined in her eyes, I seriously doubt she's going to mention anything about how SHE never got a contract or paid in advance, just the fact that her cake person didn't show up.

We all know that bad news travels faster than good news. Not the best thing when most of us rely on word of mouth in this business.

CakeMakar Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 8:27pm
post #26 of 33

So what happened?!

alvarezmom Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 8:42pm
post #27 of 33

I would have to say forget about it. But Last week my sister asked if I could help out a friend of hers with some cupcakes. My sister emailed me on Monday for Saturday. I said sure. Got some basic info. I asked my sister about colors and flavorings. My sister then said she emailed my info to the friend. This was on Tuesday. By Friday before I had left work my sister emailed me...I wasnt planning on checking email before I left but had a strange feeling. I checked email and I had one from my sister asking if I was still doing the cupcakes!!!! I had to email the lady and get the info... Some ppl are just lazy so with my experience just this past week...I will always follow up no matter how "desperate" (maybe not the right word) I look.

MaisieBake Posted 7 Oct 2008 , 11:07pm
post #28 of 33

The last contact on this cake was in FEBRUARY. That's not quite the same as from this past Tuesday to this past Saturday.

AZCakeGirl Posted 8 Oct 2008 , 2:46am
post #29 of 33

We obviously all have our own opinions on what we would do as individuals & to each their own. But what DID happen????? Any updates?

mom2spunkynbug Posted 9 Oct 2008 , 3:11pm
post #30 of 33

Hi again - sorry, my internet was down for a while!

Ok, so I emailed the girl and she said that a friend of hers is going to do the cake as a gift to her & her fiance. So I told her that's great & wished her the best.

(This is a cake for 200, so I hope her friend has some experience. I know this girl can be quite picky - or at least she was in high school! - so I hope everything turns out ok!)

Thanks for all the feedback!

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