Just Want To Vent - Advice Welcome

Business By SugaredUp Updated 27 Sep 2008 , 6:17pm by SugaredUp

SugaredUp Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 2:04pm
post #1 of 28

I'm pregnant and due 11/14. I have 2 little kids already, ages 3 and 17 mos. I guess due to stress, physically and emotionally, I'm having a lot of weird symptoms w/ my pregnancy. I started having preterm contractions last weekend. Now every time I get up to do anything, even something simple like loading the dishwasher or making a really easy lunch for the kids, the contractions start. I was admitted to the hospital and given some meds to get the contractions to stop, and now I'm back home. I'm not officially on bed rest, but it's something that is probably going to happen any time.

SOOOOOO.... I've worked my butt off trying to get my business started, which just started around April of last year. I seem to be getting a lot of calls now and interest in wedding cakes, gift baskets, all kinds of fun stuff that I really want to do - and now I can't do it. I already canceled some of my orders for October, and I'm telling people that I can't take any orders until December. I'm SOOOOOOOO bummed about this. I feel like all my hard work is down the toilet. I finally got a business that I've been wanting as a client to call me for pies. Well, they need them in October. I didn't say I can't do it. They didn't pay or actually order yet. I feel like trying to do them, but I know I'll be regretting it - if I'm not in the hospital already by then! I just can't believe I have to tell them NO after wanting them as customers for so long!

I guess I'm just wondering if my business will be ok. I still get excited about every little order and now I have to turn them away. It's so depressing.

27 replies
-K8memphis Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 2:15pm
post #2 of 28

(Like playing poker) I'll see you that disappointment and raise you a perpetual burn out.

I've been caking 30 years plus. I left it previously to work in offices for more money because I cannot ever be legal from my home in my county.

I don't do cakes from home for sale period except for a random friend or charity thing.

I've turned down six cakes this week
a few from the chalice cake buzz and some from other sources. icon_eek.giftapedshut.gificon_cry.gif

I know how to say "No" whether I want to or not.

So be very very happy you can look forward to getting going again after jr or jr-ette arrives. Which btw-I'm very happy for you and you stay low and take care of yourself.

You're pregnant--there are thousands of things to stress out about--branch out a bit--forget cakes--read books and sing songs to your tummy and drink milk shakes and enjoy this time.


-K8memphis Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 2:17pm
post #3 of 28

So all that needless drama to say--no worries the business will still be there when you get back to it. icon_biggrin.gif

littlecake Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 3:07pm
post #4 of 28

well i have a storefront...

on 2 separate occiasions i closed the shop down to have surgery...

once for a month, once for 3 weeks.....

don't worry about it, they'll come back.

wow, you sure are gonna have your hands full with 3 little ones....try to enjoy the babies, they really are gone before you know it.

DebBTX Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 3:26pm
post #5 of 28

Please don't worry about your business. People will understand and will return when you feel ready to go again.

It is very true that little ones grow up so fast. Enjoy every moment with them and have fun. Take care of yourself and your sweet new baby.

Cakes can wait until later. Now is a great time for special family time.

-Debbie B.

SugaredUp Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 4:09pm
post #6 of 28

I am sure you guys are right - I hope so at least! haha

My hormones are out of whack, so I'm probably taking this harder than I should...

OhMyGanache Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 5:43pm
post #7 of 28

Is there any way to bring someone in to help you with the pies? Personally, I would try to find a way to still cover the orders and only cancel if necessary - especially since you are a start-up.

Someone else could follow your recipes and instruction and you could be there to supervise. I was selling at the farmer's market last year and I had to turn down several orders because every Saturday I was obligated to be at the market. I just kept thinking "you never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression" - and if that first impression is "sorry, can't help you", it might hurt your business. Or it might not.

You just have to decide if that's a risk you're willing to take. Don't take risks with your own health or the baby's though! As a mother of 5, I feel for ya!

Good luck! icon_smile.gif

SugaredUp Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 6:25pm
post #8 of 28

I wish I had someone to help me, but there is no one. I can't even go to my doctor's appointments without my husband missing work.

-K8memphis Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 7:07pm
post #9 of 28
Originally Posted by SugaredUp

I wish I had someone to help me, but there is no one. I can't even go to my doctor's appointments without my husband missing work.

I understand the frustration of being limited by circumstances beyond your control. It's very very difficult.

It's like when we were a little kids and somebody tall put their hand on our head to hold us off and we tried to fight them off anyway--our arms just could not reach them to do any damage.

So just try to relax--that will help your condition too. Try to chill. Do breathing exercises. Think of all the things you want to do when you are too busy. This is it. Read a book--or get a talking book. You can get on the computer for endless downtime 'activity.

Take Care, try to settle in for the next coupla months. You're gonna be way too active again real soon.

Do you like to knit or crochet? or sew?

SugaredUp Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 7:14pm
post #10 of 28

k8memphis, thanks for the encouragement. I was thinking that if I could get to the library (maybe I'll have DH take me since driving seems to make the contractions worse), I could get a book on growing your business or something.

-K8memphis Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 9:55pm
post #11 of 28
Originally Posted by SugaredUp

k8memphis, thanks for the encouragement. I was thinking that if I could get to the library (maybe I'll have DH take me since driving seems to make the contractions worse), I could get a book on growing your business or something.

Growing your business? icon_rolleyes.gif Ok but get one on "how to chill" too.


DebBTX Posted 26 Sep 2008 , 10:31pm
post #12 of 28

Just think of all the cake wives and moms who would love to spend the entire day on Cake Central learning about new ways to do things, along with new design ideas. You have the perfect excuse to relax in front of the computer. During nap time you can prop up your feet and head for CC. That way you are increasing your ideas for your business while taking care of yourself and the baby.

Who wouldn't love lots of CC time? Your husband won't even mind. icon_lol.gif

-Debbie B.

loriemoms Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:22am
post #13 of 28

I agree with what everyone else is saying...you need to think about yourself and your family first. People will understand and THEY WILL be back!! I closed down for a short while too, as we had financial issues and I had to make money somewhere else for a while. And they came back...even more so, as they were excited to see me back.

Take care of yourself and you new little one!!!

vanillabean Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:44am
post #14 of 28

Your and your baby's health come first. Your customers will understand, and they will be there when you are ready to come back. I was in your same shoes and had to cancel two weddings that I had already been paid for. I had promised the brides that I would be able to do their cakes, but as the time drew nearer, it was obvious I could not do them. So, as hard as it was to do, I had to cancel and refund the money. I was so worried that the brides would be furious with me, but they both understood completely, and were actually very sympathetic. It all turned out for the best because I had to go 3 weeks early on my delivery due to more complications, and that was when one of the cakes was due.

Long story short, your family comes first. Enjoy your children because before you know it they will be grown and gone.

Best of luck to you!

sweetlayers Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:56am
post #15 of 28

Wow, if only men had to make the same sacrafices women did.

Your business will survive. Make your pregnancy first priority. Every week in utero makes that baby stronger for the real world. Please don't jeopardize his/her safety for cake or pie.

Perhaps you can get someone you trust to help you bake while times are hard.

Win Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:58am
post #16 of 28

I firmly believe that everything is in the Lord's hands and it's all HIS timing. You have to look at things from all vantages. It might be that should you try to push you could jeopardize your baby's healthy delivery date. What would crush you more? Should the baby come early you might always wonder if decisions you made to meet obligations other than family had a play in the outcome. And believe me, if the baby comes early, you won't even be ready by December to meet orders --you will be caring for a preemie. I know just how demanding that is. No, sweetie, it's not worth it. Your business is young, it will bounce. Take care of you and that precious life you have cradled under your heart. God Bless!

ThreeDGirlie Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 1:23am
post #17 of 28

I don't want to sound mean, and I really hope this is taken the right way. From one mother to another: You baby is more important.

I know this is something you know, and it really stinks that you have to be in a position that it is affecting you. Your business will be there after your baby arrives. You have done a great job building it so far, and I am sure it will spring back. Right now you need ot take care of you and keep that baby baking just a little bit longer.

{{{{big hugs}}}} to you for having to deal with this.

akgirl10 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 4:55am
post #18 of 28

I think this is actually a perfect time for you to read books, reserch in the net and really map out how you will swing your business and three kiddos after you're baby's born. Having a good plan to get those customers ordering again might make you feel like you are contributing to your business while you can't bake.

It sounds like your baby will be here soon enough, so enjoy relaxing while you can. Oh, and congratulations!

SugaredUp Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 12:56pm
post #19 of 28

Thanks, guys. When my DH came home yesterday, I asked him to drive me up to the library. I figured I would just run in and out and grab a book to occupy my time. Unfortunately, the library was closed - and after just a little bit of walking (to the door and back), I had contractions the rest of the night. Killer ones. Thankfully, I fell asleep at the end of the pres. debate and they are gone this morning... But I can't believe that just a little walking would do that.

The thing that has me extra worried about the business aspect is that the October issue of Metro Parent is coming out any day, and I was interviewed for that issue on the bakery. Perfect timing to have an article feature your business, huh?!

loriemoms Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 1:01pm
post #20 of 28

You know, if you have time and you just are DYING to decorate, another thing you can do to help your business is work on Dummy cakes for displays. shows, etc. You can take your time on them, work here and there...and keep your hands "dirty!"

KHalstead Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 1:15pm
post #21 of 28

okay, here's my advice!!! Why do people have to know that you're not taking ANY orders until December???? Just tell them, I'm sorry...I'm not able to accept any MORE orders until at least January! Then it doesn't give the impression you have drama, it gives the impression that they waited to long to order and you're booked!! I mean you don't have to lie to them but you don't have to tell them all your business either!! There are times I start to feel burned out and I just go ahead and mark BOOKED on the calendar on my site, most people see that and don't order...others call anyhow to see if I can squeeze ONE MORE in. Sometimes I take the order, but if I'm super burned out I tell em' sorry!! More often than not it's just a sheet cake anyhow, and I get sick of doing those all the time.
Anyhow, my point is....just start saying, I'm sorry..I'm not able to accept any more orders until X/X/XX date! They don't need to know that you're business isn't booming!!

SugaredUp Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 1:28pm
post #22 of 28

Khalstead, that's what I was actually doing. I just was saying "I'm not taking new orders until December". (Hopefully, I can do orders in December!) The only ones I told the truth to were the ones who I had already met with and had placed orders.

loriemoms, I was kind of thinking I could do that, but actually, I don't think I can..... Rolling out fondant, icing with buttercream, it's a little physical. Not very, but enough to get me contracting, I'm sure. icon_cry.gif I wish I could do that, I would like to do some wedding dummies.........

moxey2000 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 1:37pm
post #23 of 28

KHalstead: Excellent advice thumbs_up.gif !

SugaredUp: I totally know how hard it is for you. We had no family around and no help with all 3 of our kids (still don't, but they're older now). I know what it's like to juggle babysitters, work, housework, money (or lack thereof icon_cry.gif ), flooded basements, leaky roofs, broken cars, and all of the other things that make up "life". I also had progressively worse post-partum depression icon_cry.gif . All I can say is try (seems impossible, but really try) to relax, do only what you can, let the small stuff go, ask for help when you need it, and savor every moment because it'll all be a memory before you know it.

Best of luck to you and your family thumbs_up.gif . Your business will be fine, this is just a small detour. It's obvious you have the desire and the passion to make it happen....and it will, all in good time.

SugaredUp Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 2:03pm
post #24 of 28

Thanks, Moxie. I think that when you have so many stresses going on outside of having a new baby, ppd is more likely to occur. That is why I've got a new counselor lined up for October! Better safe than sorry! haha

SugaredUp Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 5:41pm
post #25 of 28

I had my mom take me to the library and I got this book called "how to get and keep customers for life". It's really good! I'm reading it in bed and my contractions stopped thankfully! It's cool because according to the book, I basically do a lot of things right when it comes to customers, but there are some things I definitely could do better. One big thing is that I have to be happier when they call. Sometimes, I think I come across as distracted (umm.... 2 kids and pregnant, I wonder why?!) So I need to focus more on them and try to come across as pleasant and happy. I'm excited to try out my new techniques! haha

MadPhoeMom Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 5:59pm
post #26 of 28

i didn't read ALL the replies so forgive me if i'm being redundant....

businesses? they come and go.
kids? well, technically i suppose they come and go, too-but gosh! getting them here safely? you only got one shot at that.....and those blessed babies won't stay little long....

i suppose the long and short of it is this: you can ALWAYS start/grow/have a business! but your kids are only little kids for an eye blink.

i guess the only conflict is if you are trying to bake cakes so that you can 'manage your own schedule,' but still......

prayers for peace of mind, safe delivery, and a lengthiER pregnancy...

pugmama1 Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 6:15pm
post #27 of 28

I think it was a wonderful idea to use this time to do research for your business and nice to know you have family nearby to help.This isn't all about the health of your baby- this is also about the health of you. Pregnancy is never without risk to the mother and I would like to see you in the frame of mind that you are also doing everything possible to insure you make it safely through. All sorts of complications can happen for the mom and your family needs you to be there for them. You made the glorious choice to be a mother- again- remember-to everything there is a season- and you will be doing cakes again-just not right now and that's okay.

SugaredUp Posted 27 Sep 2008 , 6:17pm
post #28 of 28

You guys are making me feel better. I was beating myself up about this thinking business can't be put on hold...

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