I Am So P***ed Right Now I Have To Vent!!

Decorating By MissRobin Updated 24 Sep 2008 , 4:52pm by MissRobin

MissRobin Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:10pm
post #1 of 63

Ok, so my cousin called me back in the spring and asked me to do her son's wedding cake. Of course I said I would and I corresponded repeatedly with her soon to be DIL and sent pictures of some of my cakes and she sent me pics of cakes she liked. So, after several months of correspondence I approached her finally with a price, because they had never bothered to ask me even what I charged. I figured price wasn't an issue but nevertheless, I let her know what my price was and that I required half down 2 months prior to the wedding and the balance two weeks before the wedding. Now, what you need to know is it was just recently that I did this and it is a little over a month away from the wedding, I know all of you are probably thinking at this point I should of had a contract, but I am not Officially in business and I really just do a few cakes a year. However, it has been my experience so far when doing wedding cakes that it really is smart to get a deposit in advance and get the balance prior to wedding day because the times that I have not done this It has been real hard to collect my money on the day of the wedding, live and learn. Anyway, so since this was my cousin's son that was getting married (family), I kind of just hung back and waited for the money issue to come up, big mistake. After I told the the price, which was $350.00 for a cake to serve 150 people with gumpaste flowers and covered in fondant, she wrote me back a few days ago and said, "I hope you don't mind (this is the bride to be talking) but, my mother is getting another price on the cake. Now remember we are a month away, so I have another wedding for 150 people on the same day and I was already stressing about doing two in one weekend because I am far from professional, but I was pretty much doing this as a favor for my cousin, in regard to squeezing it in. So, I wrote the bride back and told her that she should go with the other decorator that I felt like all of this should have been taken care of before this point and that I was sure the other lady would make a beautiful cake and I wished them a very special day and a beautiful life together!! I also said, in that email, that if she could find someone else at this late date, that she should go with them. I was very nice and my email was very nice. I had repeatedly corresponded with them about different aspects of design etc. and was really having a hard time getting info all along. Well, here is why I am p***sed. I got an email from the Brides mother thanking me for my time and in a very catty way letting me know that she had done elaborate cakes before and in fact made her own and was very aware of the attention to detail that was required in planning a cake. She then went on to say that in the pics I sent her she was not seeing that attention to detail!!!!! She then when on to say that she hoped I was able to pay FULL attention to my other cake since I wasn't doing theirs!!!!! Now I know I am not that great of a cake decorator but I do take pride in my work and when I make a cake especially a wedding cake I sweat blood and tears to make sure they have exactly what they want. I am sorry if this doesn't make since but I am fuming right now and I can't hardly think straight. Thanks for listening, I just really needed to vent.

62 replies
7yyrt Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:20pm
post #2 of 63

Vent, vent, VENT!

This is the place for it, we will listen. Yell some more if you want to!
Bride's mama is feeling sour grapes...

pkinkema Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:35pm
post #3 of 63

Hey....it's HER loss!! Don't waste another precious moment of your energy thinking about this!!!!

pkinkema Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:36pm
post #4 of 63

Hey....it's HER loss!! Don't waste another precious moment of your energy thinking about this!!!!

ladawn250 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:38pm
post #5 of 63

I think your cakes are beautiful! Ignore comments like those. They only come from a place of jealousy or resentment.

SpringFlour Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:38pm
post #6 of 63

Well, perhaps since the MOB has had so much experience making elaborate cakes, she could do this one herself. icon_twisted.gif I don't see how she could find anything wrong with your cake photos. They're great! She's just mean and nasty and wanted a free (or super cheap) cake. Be glad you won't have to deal with her anymore!

weirkd Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:40pm
post #7 of 63

Sounds like she was trying to either make you give the thing to them for free or next to nothing. I think that all the hoopla over the other decorators was just their way of making you worry about it. She probably is going to a grocery store and telling them their too high!
Dont worry! Just remember, you can pick your friends, you cant pick your family!
Shrug it off and just think that your better off not doing it because she would be one of those people that are never satisfied and up your beehive for every last detail!!
So like pkinkema said Her Loss! You go girl!! Make the other cake so damn amazing that when they see it their green with envy that they gave you so much crap!!!

AdeleP Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:42pm
post #8 of 63

I think you did the right thing and others, family especially should respect the effort that you were going to make for them. You would have been very stretched and stressed doing both cakes for the same day and sometimes it is family who make the worst customers, it does us all good to vent! icon_wink.gif Your cakes are beautiful and if MOB thinks she can do better then let her take the strain!!

twooten173 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:42pm
post #9 of 63

Her loss. I'm sure at this late date, she'll have to pay through the nose or not get the cake she wants.

playingwithsugar Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:45pm
post #10 of 63

That's what happens when you try to charge family. If you would have offered the cake free, they would have praised it to highest Heaven.

I have had my share of family and friends try to weasel a free cake out of me. I give to those whom I want to give to, and those whom I do not want to give to are free to find someone else to buy a cake from.

I lose more invitations that way, but heck, that saves me money, so that's fine with me.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

Pookie59 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:47pm
post #11 of 63

Wouldn't it be great if she couldn't find anyone to do the cake at this late date? That MOB sounds like a real PITA - good riddance. She might end up with a Walmart special.

kakeladi Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:49pm
post #12 of 63

Attention MissRobin:

Before commenting I took time to quickly go thru y our pic gallery.
You have every right to be proud of your work!
Like others said, this MOB was thinking you would make this cake for free and was ticked off when you asked for money!

Don't give it *anymore* thought. It is their loss. MOB should make th e cake herself.......and might have to at this point icon_smile.gif

wendym Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:57pm
post #13 of 63

Well I have just taken a look at your cake photo's and the MOB has a big problem, if she thinks she can get someone as good as you to make her a wedding cake for $350 shes mad. You can just sit back now and enjoy doing your other wedding cake without the pressure of the mad woman making your life hell. Its her loss good decorators are hard to find. Maybe as shes so good, she might like to do it herself. icon_smile.gif

ThreeDGirlie Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 9:58pm
post #14 of 63

Seriously? I looked at your cakes, and they are GORGEOUS. Even added some as favorites. MOB is a moron. Just be glad that ypu're free of the headaches that you would surely have if you were doing this cake.

veejaytx Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:00pm
post #15 of 63

I also took a look at your cake photos, and I think they are great! I also agree that these "folks" just thought they were getting one of them for free.

Too bad for them, they don't deserve free cake, maybe not even for $350!

Their loss, your gain, in time for the other wedding cake for that day and especially not having to deal with them.

melvin01 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:01pm
post #16 of 63

I agree--have the MOB do the cake if she's not satisfied with how yours look (and it doesn't sound like she will like what gets delivered anyway since "she's done elaborate cakes before.")

run away, seriously, run.

BUT I do have to say, IN THE FUTURE with friends, family, anyone who you think will try to do the friends/family discount plan, mention UP FRONT that your price starts at $____ for buttercream and $____ for fondant PER SLICE. Extra for hand made flowers, etc. It could have nipped this in the bud a lot earlier on in the process and they won't be looking at you as the bad person now that they have to look for another cake decorator (not that the price you quoted is over the top--don't come down on your price and stick to your guns. If you have any further interaction with the MOB, ask her what SHE would charge for the cake that is wanted and see what she says).

If someone doesn't ask for a price after you talk with them a couple times, it's a good thing to bring it up. I have ended up making a cake for friends (or friends of friends, no less) without having price even brought up only to find that I "co-hosted" the event (meaning that I provided a free cake for 35-75 people).

Our time isn't free, don't get guilted into doing this for less than it's worth if they decide to go with you.

A wedding cake for that many people for what they are wanting is not outrageous. $350 for a wedding cake is reasonable.

fondantgrl Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:01pm
post #17 of 63

IGNORE them... it's their problem. If they cannot find a decent cake for the wedding, then so be it.. let them deal with it. thumbsdown.gificon_twisted.gif but I can understand how you must feel.... it' was wrong of them to assume that it will be a free one or discounted. Don't talk to them or attend the wedding.

Nothing lost nothing gained on your part. icon_razz.gif just stick your tongue at them !!! and wave at them with one finger !! icon_cool.gif

angelatx Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:12pm
post #18 of 63

Its her loss for sure! Your work is very good!!! I think family always expects a deep discount or free. Its good you didn't do it after all. icon_smile.gif I bet the other cake won't be as nice as yours and probably cost the same if not more! icon_biggrin.gif

dbax Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:13pm
post #19 of 63

Here's what I think...
If the MOB is so familiar with the ''attention to detail'' that goes into a cake, she would have known what you had already invested and apologized for the late notice of finding another decorator... furthermore, she should have been embarrassed to expect such an extravagent ''gift''. . . which is exactly what this sounds like.

I am not professional, I bake for family and friends and have a hard time charging since I know it is not legal to do so. I give an ingredient cost and hope for some compensation for my time, but never expect it. But to have the person ordering the cake expect free cake with so much ''attention to detail'' is completely ridiculous! and rude!

MacsMom Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:15pm
post #20 of 63

That was just her way to vent her anger and you turning them away.

People say the dumbest things just to try to hurt your feelings, even though there is no truth in what was said. It's simply lack of wit. My brother's ex-wife told me I was fat when we got into it once--I weigh 115 lbs! (Just to show how dim-witted people can be).

I'm sure she expected it for free.

OhMyGanache Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:20pm
post #21 of 63

People who say rotten things like that to me get one response: "did that make you feel good to say that to me?"

I have only had a few people respond "yes", and I just say "good".

Don't lower yourself to their level, and don't let their bad attitude affect yours. (I know, I know... Easier said than done. Lol)

all4cake Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:22pm
post #22 of 63

MissRobin, I found my own self getting pi$$3d at this one.

"$350.00 for a cake to serve 150 people with gumpaste flowers and covered in fondant"

I'm not bothered by your prices...you know what you'd like to charge(although...I do feel that is quite low).

(displaying symptons that may be confused with Tourette syndrome right now)...WTF???????? I would not give this "family" member another moment! Let her check around...late date...budget is bound to be swollen(I can't imagine too many have your low prices)...I hope like hell you snub her should she return to you for the completion of the order! I'm not quick-witted, so, it would be another week or so before I could come up with some type of "Bless Your Heart" type response. Right now, all that comes to mind is "That B8(*%!"

SugarFrosted Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:25pm
post #23 of 63

Were you invited/planning to go to the family wedding? Please do, if you can. That way you can take pictures of the "substitute" cake so you can show us what she got for less that $350. I am REALLY interested in seeing a cake which would please this MOB. She's a MOB-zilla for sure.

moxey2000 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:31pm
post #24 of 63

I agree with all the rest, your cakes are gorgeous and $350 would have been a bargain. Now, in response to the MOB...take the high road. My mother would say "kill them with kindness icon_lol.gif ". No matter what they say or how much they try to bait you into some argument, don't let them. In fact, you can thank them sincerely for getting someone else because you really didn't need the extra stress and pressure icon_rolleyes.gif . Wasn't that sweet of them to do that icon_lol.gif ? Bless their hearts and I hope they have a lovely wedding icon_biggrin.gif .

summernoelle Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:36pm
post #25 of 63

I hate women like this! Ugh!
Your cakes are BEAUTIFUL. Let them have their cheap cake and eat it too. Hopefully they'll get sick off the Walmart Crisco frosting!

MissRobin Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:40pm
post #26 of 63

Thank you all so much for your support, I am about to cry you make me feel better!! This woman was seriously making me doubt myself, I have a tendency to let people get to me. It is my understanding that she found someone to do it for $l.50 a serving and according to her this person has always done her cakes but since I was the grooms cousin she was going to give me a chance but didn't know my prices weren't comparable to other cake decorators around here! I really am beating myself up for letting it get so far without mentioning price, but I really felt that if money was an issue they would have asked that first. Afterall, when I purchase something that is the first thing I check out!!! Thank you again for your support, you all are great friends!!

MissRobin Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:42pm
post #27 of 63

I forgot to add, and this is the kicker, I am invited to the wedding, in fact, my cousin the mother of the groom had asked me, even after I told them I wouldn't do the wedding cake to make the grooms cake, so I intend on doing that for her son, and it is going to be the best d***n cake you have ever seen! LOL!

Rosie2 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:45pm
post #28 of 63

It's good that you are able to vent...when I'm very frustrated I can't even write icon_sad.gif and I gree, they expected a free cake because they're family! don't take it personal they're upset because you didn't offer to do the cake for free. People have no idea what it takes to make a cake...only another baker will understand, really!

Since I consider myself a begginer I do all my cakes and cookies for free (for friends and family) and, as you can imagine, I've NEVER had a complaint. I'm sure that if I start charging it will 'surface' all my mistakes and lack of attention to detail....ahhhh, never do business with family!

Rosie2 Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:49pm
post #29 of 63

It's good that you are able to vent...when I'm very frustrated I can't even write icon_sad.gif and I gree, they expected a free cake because they're family! don't take it personal they're upset because you didn't offer to do the cake for free. People have no idea what it takes to make a cake...only another baker could understand, really!

Since I consider myself a begginer I do all my cakes and cookies for free (for friends and family) and, as you can imagine, I've NEVER had a complaint. But I'm sure that if I ever decide to start charging it will 'surface' all my mistakes and lack of attention to detail....
Ahhhh, 'kill them with kindness' and refer them to the nearest Wal Mart bakery icon_biggrin.gif

CindiM Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 10:57pm
post #30 of 63

First, she couldn't afford you.

Second, she wasn't very nice.

Third, your cakes are wonderful and she is full of ***t icon_eek.gif

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