I Can't Believe Some Parents Today !!

Lounge By adonisthegreek1 Updated 25 Sep 2008 , 9:05pm by mbelgard

adonisthegreek1 Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 1:21am
post #1 of 18

My child is having a party. He took invitations to school for each of his classmates. I had one parent call me and RSVP that the classmate and his siblings (younger twins) would also be attending. icon_eek.gif

Another parent RSVP'd asking if another sibling (4 years younger) could come. Four years younger! What! icon_eek.gif

At the end of the school day, the cars line up in a circle drive and down the block to pick up their children. We are repeatedly told by administration the flow of traffic and how to line up to keep things orderly and safe. Everyday some bone-head parent enters from the opposite end of the street and cuts in front of 10 or more cars lined up properly. icon_eek.gif Administration does absolutely nothing about this.

17 replies
indydebi Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 1:23am
post #2 of 18

These are, of course, the same people who make fun of gramma for being so "prim and proper" ... but they should sit back and pay attention to gramma, who understands the idea of "polite", "courtesy" and "proper".

Just because it's "old fashioned" to be polite, doesn't make it wrong.

Auryn Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 1:47am
post #3 of 18

I hope you went ahead and told them that the invitation is only for the child who received one.

TexasSugar Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 1:55am
post #4 of 18

Don't get me started on school pick ups. Last year at the school my nephew went to their horseshoe drive was 3 lanes. The smart thing was to wait on the two outer ones and wait for your child. I would get stuck every day after picking him up because people would come through the middle lane and wait 5 mins for their kids blocking everyone from the other two lanes from moving.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 1:57am
post #5 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auryn

I hope you went ahead and told them that the invitation is only for the child who received one.




Oh yes, I should have added that I contacted both parents and informed them that the invitation was only for the child who is my kid's classmate. I said, "Sorry, but I cannot accommodate siblings at this time."

My daughter brought home two party invitations last week. I would never think of RSVPing to say that I will be bringing my son also. Where do people like this come from?

Amia Posted 20 Sep 2008 , 2:58am
post #6 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by adonisthegreek1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Auryn

I hope you went ahead and told them that the invitation is only for the child who received one.



Oh yes, I should have added that I contacted both parents and informed them that the invitation was only for the child who is my kid's classmate. I said, "Sorry, but I cannot accommodate siblings at this time."

My daughter brought home two party invitations last week. I would never think of RSVPing to say that I will be bringing my son also. Where do people like this come from?




Pluto? jk

I know what you mean about the parent pick-up line though! There are two lanes at my cousins' school, one that has a straight arrow and one that has a curved arrow (which is the parent pick-up lane). Every day, I sit in that darn line for 20 minutes and some parent who can't bother to wait in line, goes ahead of all of us and turns from the straight-only lane INTO the parent lane...and the administrators just wave them on through. DAHHH! icon_surprised.gificon_evil.gificon_mad.gif<--that's me as I sit in line.

ceshell Posted 21 Sep 2008 , 6:17am
post #7 of 18

A silly question, since I am on the early side of kids' parties i.e. my dd is only just 4 y.o...but is this a drop-off party (parents don't stay, they drop their kids off w/you) or are the parents expected to stay w/their kids? In which case that would be why I would guess people would ask if it was ok if the siblings came, otherwise what is mom going to do with them while she escorts older bro/sis to the party? If it's a drop off party, well then never mind, that makes zero sense.

Just a thought. Like I said this is just coming from a position of complete ignorance, because at my daughter's age, it is expected that an invitation for any kid will also need to accommodate siblings. Give me 4 more years and I won't even need to ask this question icon_redface.gif.

michellenj Posted 21 Sep 2008 , 8:45pm
post #8 of 18

When my daughter is invited to a party that is somewhere like chuck E. Cheeses or bowling, I'll drop dd off with the group, and go play/bowl with ds somewhere else, and pay for myself. Or, I'll get a babysitter to stay with ds, or make my husband watch him.

adonisthegreek1 Posted 22 Sep 2008 , 1:03pm
post #9 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by ceshell

A silly question, since I am on the early side of kids' parties i.e. my dd is only just 4 y.o...but is this a drop-off party (parents don't stay, they drop their kids off w/you) or are the parents expected to stay w/their kids? In which case that would be why I would guess people would ask if it was ok if the siblings came, otherwise what is mom going to do with them while she escorts older bro/sis to the party? If it's a drop off party, well then never mind, that makes zero sense.

Just a thought. Like I said this is just coming from a position of complete ignorance, because at my daughter's age, it is expected that an invitation for any kid will also need to accommodate siblings. Give me 4 more years and I won't even need to ask this question icon_redface.gif.




Hi Ceshell, not to sound harsh, but proper etiquette dictates that an invitation is only for the name of the person on the invitation. If they are allowed to bring a guest, the invitation should be addressed to "Victoria and a guest." As far as a party for 4-year-olds, I think it is always expected that a parent stay. That's too little to just drop kids off and some kids wander off and others have bathroom issues. Their own mom or dad need to deal with that stuff.

If one sibling is invited to a party and the other is not, it is not up to the hosting parent to pay another $15-$25 for a kid that she didn't even invite. That parent can either decline the invitation all together or if the party is in a public place like Chuck E. Cheese spend her own money to take the other kid, but don't allow him to disturb the party table.

I had a parent bring additional kids to Jeepers. She told me beforehand that she would be and that she would also be paying for them and they would not interfere with the party. That was great!

I had another parent who asked if her uninvited daughter could attend the Jeepers party if she paid me the $15 per child cost. I agreed and she was included in everything else that we did.

I have learned to keep a list of RSVPs and give that to the facility so that if anyone shows up whose name is not on my list, the have to pay for themselves. I have had enough of parents getting family freebies off of me. It will never happen again!

indydebi Posted 22 Sep 2008 , 1:10pm
post #10 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by adonisthegreek1

I have learned to keep a list of RSVPs and give that to the facility so that if anyone shows up whose name is not on my list, the have to pay for themselves. I have had enough of parents getting family freebies off of me. It will never happen again!




I have a bride kinda doing this. Her reception is at a hotel and she will give someone at the hotel a list of those who rsvp'd. This hotel person will check off the names at the door .... no name on list----no admittance to the reception.

She's not the first bride I've heard doing this. Another bride had a "Sgt at Arms" as she called him. RSVP'd guests were admitted. Non-rsvp'd guests had to wait. After all rsvp'd guests had arrived, then the non-rsvp'd guests were admitted IF there was table space. Guests had assigned seating and the tables in the back were unassigned and the non-rsvp'd guests were shown to these tables in the back. She told me, "Guess which tables went to the buffet LAST?"

Pookie59 Posted 22 Sep 2008 , 5:21pm
post #11 of 18

This does sound like the kind of thing people do with weddings (invite additonal people that THEY want). How tacky. I'm not sure if the parents are wanting to get rid of all the kids for a couple of houses (effectively using you as a babysitter) or they think that the younger sibling must be included in all of the older's child's activities. At any rate, such a request is not fair to anyone.

ceshell Posted 23 Sep 2008 , 4:44am
post #12 of 18

Gotcha, not harsh at all!

I'm pretty cosmopolitan LOL but I honestly never realized that young children's party invites followed the same strict etiquette rules a formal adult party (wedding or otherwise). I know at my DD's age, the invites we receive amongst our circle of friends and contacts only say my dd's name; they do not ever state the # guests invited, nor whether or not, say, both parents are allowed to escort the child (are they? Is only one adult allowed to come??) It's always just assumed that if you have younger kids you'll probably have to bring them along. Although I'd surely expect people to ask permission rather than state they are bringing other children, but in this thread there is a lot of heat just because people even asked.

So this is an important lesson for me, to make sure to pay attention as the customs change as my dd ages (although it will probably be obvious!), notsomuch for us (she's an only child) but for when I am hosting parties in the future. Thanks for the heads up icon_biggrin.gif

vww104 Posted 24 Sep 2008 , 5:48pm
post #13 of 18

At least they called you first and made an attempt to rsvp! At my son's 5th birthday party last year I invited about 10 family members/friends and about 10 classmates. Only 1 classmate called and the rest didn't call or come. Fortunately I had a lot of family/friends and my son never knew the difference. Can you imagine if the party was made up of classmates only? I think that most parents think the etiquette for kid's birthday parties is different from adult affairs.

lardbutt Posted 24 Sep 2008 , 9:36pm
post #14 of 18

I have five kids and I would NEVER show up with all them at a party unless they were ALL invited!

When I send out invites, I usually put on them that siblings are welcome. Most of our parties are at home and I love to go over the top esp. with food!

ceshell Posted 24 Sep 2008 , 10:50pm
post #15 of 18

Gah!! I would never think it was ok to just not rsvp (or else, to rsvp yes but then to "no-show") for a party, no matter what the age of the honoree. That is just unbelievable. You all are making me so nervous for whenever I throw my first party for DD...egad, all of the things I am going to have to deal with!

indydebi Posted 25 Sep 2008 , 12:29am
post #16 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by vww104

I think that most parents think the etiquette for kid's birthday parties is different from adult affairs.



No, I think it's more that people think proper etiquette and good manners are "old fashioned" and something that gramma did in an era gone by, and that "nobody does that anymore".

Slap THEIR mama's for not teaching them! I taught my kids from the git-go "Good manners don't cost anything, so EVERYBODY can have them."

juleskaye518 Posted 25 Sep 2008 , 8:00pm
post #17 of 18

My guy is 4 years old, and I think it makes a difference to say we live in the south. (Maybe not) But I am sending invites out in the next two weeks to his party. All classmates, ect. I expect that siblings know they are invited. At his age, a parent has to come too and they can't leave sibs at home. Now when they RSVP, they better tell me how many though. If this were at a place that charged per kid, I'm sure my attitude might be different. I just wished people would RSVP. That makes me so angry. I've had invites that say RSVP only if you aren't going.

mbelgard Posted 25 Sep 2008 , 9:05pm
post #18 of 18

I'd think that parents would want to take advantage of doing something fun with their other child/ren without one. icon_confused.gif I know that parents who aren't friends with us opt to do that, last year one single mother was very happy to do girl things with her daughter while her son was at my kid's birthday party.

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