Ok..jumping in. I think some people are not 'computer' friendly, nor have been taught ettiquite on how to write to others. My mom for a long time wrote everything in caps when she first got her computer until I explained to her what that means. For some new people, it's hard using a computer.

Personally I pm a few people asking questions, if they dont respond that is fine. Also, I think anyone would understand if you said, "Thanks so much for asking, I'm flattered but I'm afraid the family will hunt me down if I give out the secrets"

Well as someone who has asked ( and i hope that i have always gotten across my complete respect for whoever i'm asking for help) I just want all of you who are willing to share to know- i think you are awesome! I know i would never ask for guidance from someone i didn't totally want to emulate. And i'm always telling my friends how awesome CC is b/c there are some incredible decorators here that are so open to sharing. I also think being from the 40 something age group that the generation just below mine uses email very differently and it's not a slight to anyone that they don't write out a longer note- it's just how they use email and probably lack of time. Just a thought please don't stop sharing - I really appreciate you all!!!

I recently (a month ago) PM'ed someone just for some pointers. In no way, was it a tell me how you did it step by step. I thought the email was very pleasant and I told her how much I loved her work. (which is no lie, I really do).
I never got a response!
I would have at least liked to have received a "sorry, I can't help you." than nothing at all!! Don't people have manners any more?

first of all, english isn't my first language, i don't live in the US (went to college in the US for my bachelor's, but that was it), so forgive me if i had ever sounded rude whenever i typed something.

i thank the OP for this thread, as i was/am guilty for some of the issues the OP raised up.

i never introduced myself whenever i PMed anyone.. ok.. gotta change that, i guess... i've PMed a few experienced members here to learn more from them, and i always say thank you in advance, & also thank you later on. but now, i know, i *may* have annoyed them for not introducing myself, if any of them read this, i sincerely apologize.

secondly, as the OP mentioned, she sometimes didn't feel like responding to the PMs if the sender didn't have any pictures posted. again. i am super-guilty for that, however, the reason i don't post any pics is because i don't have excellent cake pics to post yet, it's not like i bake every week. or even every month. i've only started using frostings & such in may this year, and don't have enough practice to get decent looking cakes to put up here on CC. my cakes are nothing compared to the cakes here. so.. it is not like i don't want to share my cake pics, but no one would want to look at them anyway. when i get to make fairly decent looking cakes, i promise, they would be posted here!

sorry this is very long... sorry again if my english sounded odd.

Ok, you know me, I have a million opinions and for some reason think everyone wants to hear them

I just want to add one thing... there is a HUGE difference between politely asking for something in a concise way and being rude. For those of you who like to get right to the point, I LOVE IT. But, do it politely. You don't have to slather me up with compliments. You can simply say, "Hi, I would like some info on that technique." and I will send you a courteous, to-the-point reply right away. I don't find that rude at all. You don't have to tell me about your family, your career, your arthritis issues, etc. What I am talking about is the people that say, and this is the WHOLE message, "I WANT THIS. SEND IT TO ME NOW." That just comes off as so rude. And if it truly is a language barrier, then I feel badly for letting it bug me.

But, for those of you who do want to shoot the breeze, I love that, too. I will yak until I'm blue in the face. (As evidenced right here... hehehe) If you DO want to tell me about the time your dog got his head stuck in the fence and you had to use hi-ratio shortening to get him out... I'm ready to laugh about it with you!

As for the malt stuff... PM me and I'll fill you in! But you'd better be nice! Hehehehe!

I agree with the person who said that you should answer questions that are in the comments with a PM. I almost never go back to a cake picture to find the answer to my question.

Also, please be careful to not judge someone on the basis of a missed reply or answer to a question. I try to answer every question someone asks in the comments of my cakes and I try to answer every PM I get but I am sure some of the popular decorators can get overwhelmed with questions and may get behind or miss a few. PM's can get overlooked as well as comments.

I guess I am lucky, everyone I've ever PM'ed with a cake question has always been so gracious to help and answered my questions, even Aine and Sugarshack and you know how busy they must be.

now am blushing. I have PMed a lOT of people on here asking questions and such. Hopefully i haven't been rude. English is not my first language too and sometimes it takes a lot of time to explain what I really wanna say and it can seem short. But I always tell them to have a nice day LOL does that count?

Yep, I agree one-liners like that come across like they think a complete tutorial is "owed" to them.

I have not had to many pm's however, the ones that I have had, I don't feel they have been too rude. Most of the people sending the messages after I have replied I never hear from them again, However, there are a couple that I have made some friendships with althoug its just thru this site. I hope someday we can meet.

Don't get me wrong, I think there is no excuse for anyone being rude, but along time ago, I was taught that more often than not the other person has things going on and really don't realize how they come across to the rest of the world.

Just my 2 cents!

English is not my first language either,my husband is an American and he always correct me when I speek.I've PMed a couple of people & don't think that I'd introduced myself but I always say thank you.I wasn't trying to be rude & if I've PMed you & thought that I was being ruded I just wanna say I'm sorry & that will never happen again.I never thought about it that way so I'm glad someone posted this.Oh also I'm new @ this cake decorating & also this computer stuff so forgive me.Thanks

I don't get many PMs asking for help or tips on how I did something. I'm far from being an expert on anything!! But the few PMs that I have gotten have all been very nice. Some short and to the point and others a little more detailed. I've never received a rude PM.

I am a very quiet and intraverted person. I guess sometimes people might perceive me as being rude because it does not come easy to me to carry a conversation with someone I don't know. If I come off that way sometimes --sorry, don't mean to be.

I have learned so much from the help I have received from others on this forum and I'm more than happy to help anyone I can.

I feel the same way
If someone spends time looking at my pictures, writing politely, introducing themselves and saying Thank you I have no problem in spending MY time to reply and help with whatever I can...

I get lots of PM's all the time..People are extremely sweet, I can't say I have received a PM like that. They ask for help in so many things. But usually they will say I love your work, or, I have many of your cakes in my favorites. They usually thank me so much. Even in my websites, some of the comments are so sweet..
I love to help people in whatever I can. I will always reply as long as I am sitting in the computer.
Edna

I have been enlightened. I am a short PM-er. Never considered it rude, or thought like that. Usually I hear back when requesting info.....I being new to decorating, I ask alot! If I don't hear back or get a brief description I just think the reponder isn't comfortable giving away all their "secrets". I am always greatful for whatever......that is why I love this site.

I love this discussion. I was just wondering why a couple of my requests didn't get responses. Now, I'm wondering if I sounded rude. I don't think I did, but I'm going to re-check. I am also a new decorator and I have people (in my church), not on the computer, asking for my recipes, and I guess I get a little selfish. I just want to say "I took the class, paid for it. I'm the one trying to start a business, and instead of hiring me to do a cake for you, you just want my recipe!" LOL I usually end up giving the recipe to them.

I love PMs, its great to know there are people in there who want to know more about what I do. I always take the time to reply, and help in any way I can.

In saying that, I have a really big pet peeve. The cake I get the most PMs about is an adult themed cake in the shape of boxer shorts that I designed from scratch. Every time someone asks, I make an effort to reply and go into detail about how I do my sculpting and get it to look lifelike. (Heheh!!) So why is it that almost every time I see a copy in the gallery, and there are lots of them, there is no acknowledgement made at all. Sometimes the descriptions even say 'one of my most popular designs' just because they have copied the same cake twice. I have to say I sometimes pinch ideas from here too but always try to give credit if I know who designed it in the first place...why can't some people give the same courtesy? Honestly sometimes I wonder why I bother helping some people and giving away my secrets just so they can claim them as their own

At the end of the day though I love it when someone PMs me with a link to the cake I helped them with, it makes it all worth it and encourages me to keep sharing

summernoelle

I love your animals and yet somehow it never occured to me to ask you for instructions.

I am going to PM you right now and flatter, beg and grovel for any hints you can give me to make mine 1/2 as adorable as yours.

Nannie

Honestly I didnt see anything wrong with that pm, they werent rude at all & even if they told u who they were, its not like ur gunna know them after that, ur not gunna go to where they live & visit them...theyre just asking for help as all of us on here do. I never say who I am, I didnt know that was an issue no one ever tells me who they are, nor do I expect it. If they wanna know about me, they can just click on my profile...so I dont see the big deal.

Hi, my name is Pam and I am a short note writer.

I do apologize for any pm's that were too short. I have been told that I am too chatty and not everyone wants to know my shoe size I may have gone too far over to the other side.

That being said, and not wanting to seem dense, I normally say hello, what cake/cookie I think is cool and why I love it and ask for help and say please and thank you for whatever information they may be willing to give me. What else would be appropriate to say? I don't want to seem to chatty or too terse. And I know every one is busy and may not want to be bothered by me.

Help please!!

Seriously, thank you for bringing this up, some of us are learning "net-iquete" as we go and don't realize we've been shouting or rude...

I too have been told that I offer too much information, so when I pm, try to say how I feel about whatever creation I am inquiring about, where my hang-up(s) are with how to do it and request that they give any tips,pointers,instructions that they can ithey don't mind sharing them. I've always been one to say please n thank you; I attempt to send a post thank you, but don't always do so every single time. On the few occasions where someone has pm'd me for info, I didn't feel at all offended if they didn't go through a crazy rant about how nice this or that was,blah,blah,blah- I was just pleased that someone thought I did a nice enough job to inquire as to how I did it. Sometimes the conversation led to getting to know a person better- sometimes not. Either way, I love CC and how we all share one with another!

Being new to CC, I wasn't sure if PM'ing someone for instructions was a faux paw, like being too forward or something un-polite. Reading this forum, now I get it. PM'ing is received more easily so the person actually knows you even asked a question. I pictured someone thinking-"you want my buttercream recipe?! Go to cake school newbie!"LOL!