Decorating By beth2027 Updated 10 Sep 2008 , 3:49pm by beth2027

beth2027 Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 3:10am
post #1 of 7

I have a family member who got married in a private ceremony about a week ago. Because no one was there, the family planned a reception this past Saturday to celebrate. I am related to the groom. The bride has a part-time wedding planner in her family and I found out about a week before the reception that she had refused to make the wedding cake.
I hadn't offered initially because I knew there was someone in her family that could do it. When I found out I called my mom and told her to let them know I would make the cake. I just feel every bride should have a real wedding cake, not a frozen cake from Wal-Mart.
My mom payed for most of the supplies and I worked for 3 days on this cake. It was my first wedding cake. Bottom layer was white chocolate cake w/ strawberry filling (12" square), and the top layer was lemon with raspberry filling (8" square). I was really proud of it.
When we got to the site for the reception, the part-time wedding planner (further referred to as PTWP) offered to help me get my cake. She just took it and put it on the table. It was extremely heavy and I was uncomfortable with her carrying the cake on her own. icon_eek.gif My mother and I had carried the cake together to load it in the van and I would have preferred that there were two people with it once we got to the site.
I had to leave early from the reception to go to another wedding of a co-worker. This was before they cut the cake. Since my mom knows nothing about how to cut the cake, I asked the PTWP to help them cut the cake later on.
But before I could stop her she hopped up, rounded up some dental floss (to cut with) and went and took my cake apart! icon_mad.gif No cake cutting pictures had been taken yet. She then took the top layer off and basically told me that the bride and groom were to take it home to freeze. I told her it wasn't intended for that and she just brushed me off. icon_mad.gif
So basically I left before I could get too mad and later on I called the bride and groom and told them that I didn't recommend freezing the top layer due to the type of filling I had used and told them if they wanted a cake on their first anniversary, I would make them one. icon_rolleyes.gif Luckily, they said they didn't like frozen cake anyway and had already cut into the top layer.
It was just very irritating to me. Part of me wished I had been able to stay so I could have taken care of it myself.
Do you think I over-reacted by getting upset?

6 replies
Deb_ Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 3:22am
post #2 of 7

No Beth, I don't think you are over-reacting. It's hurtful when you see somebody show such little care for something that you've worked painstakingly on for 3 days.

We all get somewhat attached to our cakes, we pour ourselves into each and every one of them. They're kind of like "foster cakes", we think they're ours, we nurture and love them, but than we have to send them off to be eaten. Nobody could ever care for them like we can.

Just my warped sense of humor....trying to cheer you up!


margaretb Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 5:55am
post #3 of 7

You are not overreacting. The ptwp was pushy and rude to you. She is also a pretty poor wedding planner if she didn't wait for the bride and groom to get cutting pictures. I admire your restraint in not lashing out at her.

JanH Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 6:30am
post #4 of 7
Originally Posted by margaretb

You are not overreacting. The ptwp was pushy and rude to you. She is also a pretty poor wedding planner if she didn't wait for the bride and groom to get cutting pictures. I admire your restraint in not lashing out at her.

Exactly my thoughts!

SugarFrosted Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 6:37am
post #5 of 7

Be sure to send the bride a picture of the cake you took before the massacre...err, I mean before the PTWP went to work on it. It's a lovely cake! You did a great job, especially considering the short notice you got. I'd have been furious and would no doubt have embarrassed myself, and everyone else, by saying something out loud. But at this point, you just need to let it go. And vow to NEVER allow that PTWP to touch a cake of yours again.

indydebi Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 10:43am
post #6 of 7

I just love working with professional wedding planners ... but god save me from the 'friend' who does this 'on the side'!!

beth2027 Posted 10 Sep 2008 , 3:49pm
post #7 of 7

Thanks guys! It helps to know I'm not compeletly crazy. icon_lol.gif I don't decorate professionally and this was the first wedding cake I'd ever done, so I was kind of attached to it. It was basically my gift to the couple. The PTWP can be a complete pain at times... in other areas, not just wedding stuff. So this was nothing new, it's just the first time I'd had to deal with her since one-on-one in about 11 years.
Hopefully, it won't happen too many more times. Although I will say I had a nightmare last night that she asked me to do a cake for a wedding she was planning! icon_eek.gif

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