First Wedding Cake...unexpected, Need To Vent!!

Decorating By tamrick Updated 7 Sep 2008 , 1:53pm by spring

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:03am
post #1 of 26

Hi, sorry if this is long, but I really need to vent, and I know you guys will know how I am feeling....We went to MIL yesterday for BIL wedding reception (he recently married in another part of the country) Anyways, when MIL invited us, she asked me to make the roses for the cake, which was fine. I had offered to make the cake for her, but she refused, stating that SHE wanted to make it, fine. So I made the roses, and off we went to her house (3 hour drive) As soon as we got there, she asked me what kind of frosting to make for the cake, and said she forgot to take the cakes out of the freezer, so they were still thawing on the table. Everything is fine, so far. Then she preceded to dig out an old Wilton book and show me the cake she wanted, going on how pretty she thought it looked. Then, all of a sudden, she turns to me and says, Do you think you could do that border? Well I look at it and say yes, I guess so, never done it before, but I will give it a try. Then she says WE can do a shell border here too....Hmmm, alarm starting to go off, WE??? Btw, it is around 5pm by now. Next thing I know, SIL says something about MIL better get busy and get started and she says that I am decorating the cake!!! Didn't bother to ask me or anything!!! I was a little shocked, to put it mildly! (MIL and I do not see eye to eye, but I always try my best to be nice and keep the peace) So I ask her what she has to make frosting with, and all she has is PS, shortening, and brown vanilla. No butter, nothing! So DH and I run to the store to buy butter to add a little flavor, and on the way I was ranting, said that the way this is going, I probably have to mix it by hand! Well, guess what??? I might as well have! All she had was a hand mixer with 3 speeds, lol. She did have a decorating bag and a couple of tips. Oh, and to smooth the icing, I had to use a butter knife! I've never used a knife before to smooth my icing. Oh, and I had to balance it on a shortening can to decorate! I also had about 6 people standing around watching me the whole time, including the MIL who was quick to point out things, and tell me how to do this and that, etc, and just had to mark the cake for the drapes because I had a crooked eye!

It's not that I would have minded doing the cake, it's just her sneaky way of getting me to do it, especially when I had offered to do it in the first place. Or at least let me know before I left my house so I could bring stuff with me. Anyways, thank you for letting me vent, sorry if I was too long, lol

Here is a pic of my very first Wedding Cake, lol

25 replies
indydebi Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:14am
post #2 of 26

Holy cow that turned out great!! wonderful swag work, roses are incredibly wonderful looking and I'd never guess you had to work with a butter knife.

GIve yourself a big 'ole High Five, kid!!!! thumbs_up.gif

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:15am
post #3 of 26

hmm, having trouble attaching the pic...but I did add it to my album!

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:18am
post #4 of 26

Thank You Indydebi! That means alot to me!

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:29am
post #5 of 26

try again?
LL

alanahodgson Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:29am
post #6 of 26

the cake did turn out very pretty! If I were you, I'd be livid! What a rediculous situation she placed you in! Perhaps she realized she was over her head and ill prepared at the last minute.

Deb_ Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:31am
post #7 of 26

[quote="tamrick"] (MIL and I do not see eye to eye, but I always try my best to be nice and keep the peace)

It's not that I would have minded doing the cake, it's just her sneaky way of getting me to do it, especially when I had offered to do it in the first place. Or at least let me know before I left my house so I could bring stuff with me. Anyways, thank you for letting me vent, sorry if I was too long, lol

Oh Tamrick I feel your pain.....I've had the same kind of relationship with my MIL for my entire 21 yr. marriage and (I dated my DH for 5 yrs. before that) It's almost like she (MIL) was trying to set you up for a catastrophe, so if it came out sucky she could say "oh, DIL made it" Well her evil plan icon_evil.gif failed miserably because you did an awesome job thumbs_up.gif If you can do a cake that well without your tools....you rock icon_biggrin.gif Take that MIL thumbsdown.gif

Karema Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:53am
post #8 of 26

I'm sorry but I would not have made that cake period! If you knew that she would try to be sneaky like that, next time show up right before the event. So you wont have time to do it. I am very open with my mother in law and when I dont like something I let her know after I calm down a little. I would wait and let her know that you offered to do the cake and she said no and I really didnt appreciate having to do a cake last minute and not have supplies. I would just say it nicely but I've learned with MIL that they are women just like us and if someone lets you walk all over them then some of us will. We have to stand up for ourselves and let them know that we are women and demand respect. I have a great relationship with my MIL now because I stuck up for myself and my husband stood up for me also and she got in line. He told her that he chose me and she will respect me and treat me right. It helped a lot!

-K8memphis Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 2:59am
post #9 of 26

I don't know the magic words to make in-law relations bearable.

But

Dang--that's a new twist on a surprise party huh?
Surprise you're doing the cake!! AGH!!!

You did great!!!

Hawkette Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:12am
post #10 of 26

Wow. I'm amazed you could do that with no tools. Great job!

Jayde Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:14am
post #11 of 26

I think the cake is very pretty considering the limited things that you had to work with.

My MIL is very overbearing, and has NO problem whatsoever telling me exactly what she thinks, in fact my husband's whole family is like that. I hate it!!! In my family I was always taught, "If you dont have anything nice to say, the keep your da*n mouth shut." It has been grilled into me since birth. My mom was very old fashioned and had very old fashioned manners, and instilled those manners into my sister and I.

I have a hard time dealing with my MIL who is so outspoken, and tactless that she constantly hurts other people's feelings, including her children's. I could tell you guys things that would make your jaws scrape the floor.

I guess what I am trying to say Tam, is that you shouldnt let her roll over you completely, but in the interest of keeping the peace, sometimes you have to choose your battles. This one was a great save, and I am sure more than anything else you made the bride and groom happy, and that is what matters. So kudos to you.

JenniferL Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:16am
post #12 of 26

How crazy! You perform well under pressure though! I would have been freaking out a little. As complex as In-law situations are, it was really sweet of you to go ahead and do it despite the way everything happened. thumbs_up.gif

sari66 Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:16am
post #13 of 26

You did a great job inspite of MIL

iramirez94 Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:17am
post #14 of 26

Tamrick.. do we have the same MIL?????? ha, ha. i know how you must feel, as Iwas reading it i was thinking "that is exactly how i describe my relationship with my MIL "not seeing eye to eye".

you did a great job icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif even without your valued tools!!!! thumbs_up.gifthumbs_up.gif

Now you know.. don't leave home without your decorating tools, just in case cake women needs to make her appearance.

BlakesCakes Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:18am
post #15 of 26

You did a fantastic job under rotten circumstances. thumbs_up.gif

That said, boy, I'll tell you, I'd take EVERY opportunity to let anyone who would listen about what a lousy position your MIL put you in--ON PURPOSE! icon_evil.gif

For those who compliment the cake: "Oh, thanks so much--but you should see what I can do when I have the right materials and don't have to be a side show when I'm decorating!" icon_cool.gif

For those who are tepid or disparaging: "Oh, you're so right! That's by no means my "best" work at all--but, hey, when someone "sets you" up, you have to do what you can do--and that's pretty damn good for a hand mixer and a butter knife, don't you think?" icon_cry.gif

I'd tell DMIL that next time, it's either all or nothing--I do the whole thing my way at home with my toys or NO ROSES FOR YOU !!!!

Rae

Deb_ Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:19am
post #16 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Karema

I have a great relationship with my MIL now because I stuck up for myself and my husband stood up for me also and she got in line. He told her that he chose me and she will respect me and treat me right. It helped a lot!





Karema, you are one lucky girl to have had your husband stand up to his mother for you.

My in-laws live in PA, we're in MA, so my husband feels like we don't see them enough for him to say anything to her. He doesn't want to "rock the boat" so to speak. Although, up until a few years ago I never received a Birthday card from them, they would send one to my kids and my husband, but never to me. (keep in mind, if I didn't send them cards, their son, my husband would never remember to) Anyway, my husband mentioned this to his father, who was shocked that my MIL didn't send me a card so he confronted her and I've gotten one ever since. Baby steps.

I guess I'm just never going to be "good enough" in her eyes. Even though my house is where they stay when they come to MA, and I host their entire family every Thanksgiving. I own a successful hair salon, and do my cake business too, and most importantly, I have a very solid marriage and love my husband more than anything. I actually think she would have been happier if he had married a lazy slob and was divorced after a few years.
Oh well, enough about that just needed to vent, I hate reading about evil MIL's. I vow to be a great MIL when my son marries, I promise thumbs_up.gif

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:22am
post #17 of 26

Thanks guys! Yes, I am the one she tries to forget, I married her Baby! lol But I am also the only one that will stand up to her and tell it like it is, whether she likes it or not! And yes I believe she was trying to set me up. But I did learn! next time it's hotel for me! lol That's what I said to one of the SIL, what would she have done if we did decide to get a hotel, and just show up to the reception? She would've been in a nice mess, lol I just kept telling myself it's for the BIL, over and over. Live and Learn! lol

tamrick Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:28am
post #18 of 26

It's nice to know that I am not alone in the boat with the MIL situations! lol

BlakesCakes the best compliment I received was from the pickiest BIL. He said that He would love to have me make their wedding cake, in which I replied that it would be a heck of alot better with my own tools!!

GenGen Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:33am
post #19 of 26

i dont have a best friend relationship with my MIL but i have a decent one that im grateful for, not alot of ppl i know get along with theirs. sure we have differences but we've never gotten mean with one another. she and my FIL have been great inspirations to hubby and i along with certain values from my own parents.

That cake is Wonderful it looks so heavenly its hard to see what you had to go through to create such perfection ! i've been in a situation like that before several times and nothing i did could even begin to look as nice as that even if i dreamed it lol. so pat yourself on the back, feel proud and say to yourself "now see her try to do something like that" icon_wink.gif

nice work !

Mike1394 Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 3:36am
post #20 of 26

Awesome cake Very nice job.

Mike

xstitcher Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 5:00am
post #21 of 26

You should feel really proud of yourself! You made an awesome cake without the essentials!!!! It's like some of those challenges I've heard of where you have to decorate a cake with just one tip.....

Great job on the cake, sorry for having a pain in the a** MIL! icon_lol.gif

all4cake Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 5:38am
post #22 of 26

The cake looks great! I would never have guessed in a hundred years that you used a butter knife to smooth it!

I don't think I would've been able to hold my tongue if I was placed in that situation...the woman would've heard it before my husband did...peace or no peace.

keljo05 Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 12:52pm
post #23 of 26

I have an ok relationship with my MIL. However if she'd tried that with me I would have done the cake. With very pointed comments made. ESPECIALLY when she tried correcting what you were doing. I'd have gone thru the roof.

indydebi Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 1:29pm
post #24 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by keljo05

I have an ok relationship with my MIL. However if she'd tried that with me I would have done the cake. With very pointed comments made. ESPECIALLY when she tried correcting what you were doing. I'd have gone thru the roof.




Same here. I have a great MIL who I luv very much. But had this happened, my VERY pointed comments would have started out with "Do you want to do this damn thing yourself or are you going to stay out of my way so I can TRY to get this done right?"

keljo05 Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 1:44pm
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by keljo05

I have an ok relationship with my MIL. However if she'd tried that with me I would have done the cake. With very pointed comments made. ESPECIALLY when she tried correcting what you were doing. I'd have gone thru the roof.



Same here. I have a great MIL who I luv very much. But had this happened, my VERY pointed comments would have started out with "Do you want to do this damn thing yourself or are you going to stay out of my way so I can TRY to get this done right?"


LOL - yeah.. that would be similar to what I'd say, lol

spring Posted 7 Sep 2008 , 1:53pm
post #26 of 26

Every MIL joke I ever heard is true.

You did a beautiful job! Brava to you.


Minette
My blog www.minetterushing.typepad.com

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