How To Just Say No! (Long)

Decorating By jlsheik Updated 5 Sep 2008 , 6:04am by xstitcher

jlsheik Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:21pm
post #1 of 24

A work friend of my husband....tossed out a couple of months ago that he was getting married and some how in the conversation came up that I did wedding cakes....he "jokingly" said ahhhhh Jerry will make sure I get a good deal! Husband of course warns me that they may call and what was said. And my quick retort at that time was you know that this is my business and I am not their friend and they are not getting a "deal".
Now 2 months later he reminds my husband ( not me) that they are in need of a cake.....Sept 20.
She calls and I just cant do what she wants and deliever it 45 miles away for the low budget.
I e-mailed her options at lower costs and now she emailed me back and just wants a single square. To feed 30 or 40. After wanting a 3 tiered square!!! I want to just tell her to go to Walmart!
How can I just excuse myself from this. I don't feel like I should just give them a "deal" becasue he works around my husband!! And turn down other cakes and drive a single cake 45 miles for almost nothing!!!
Should I just do what she wants and shut up about it....for fear that they will bash me at my husbands work.
I'm sure many of you have been in this situation....any words of encouragement would be great.

23 replies
tiggy2 Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:29pm
post #2 of 24

I would tell her I don't deliver small cakes and she will have to pick it up. I'd also charge full price and maybe she will go to Wal Mart or the Grocery Store.

Parable Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:37pm
post #3 of 24

Just tell her what the cake will cost and how much the delivery fee is. Let her make the decision.

costumeczar Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:43pm
post #4 of 24

She's probably going to get sheet cakes from Walmart anyway, if she's scaling down her cake so severely.

I'd agree with tiggy2, at the least, tell her that you don't deliver the smaller cakes, and they'd have to pick it up.

Before I comment further, how many servigns was the original cake, and how much were you charging her for the cake and the delivery? If I know that I'd have a better idea about what I personally would do...

jlsheik Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:55pm
post #5 of 24

Well she wanted about 80 servings befor....and she wanted to save the top. So I told her she would need a 10-8-6 squares. At 225 for cake and delievery.
She then emailed me the pic of what she wanted and said the budget was 150 to 175.
So I emailed her back and told her she could do 8-6-4 squares in this range....or change to rounds that would alter the serving amount. And save her as well.
She waited two days and now she wants a single square.
It's just annoying, maybe I should just make her a square and tell them they need to come get it!!

mommyle Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:58pm
post #6 of 24

Some people... BROTHER!!! Feel free to tell her that since it is such a small cake it doesn't need you to deliver it and set it up, so your policy is that unless they pay $xxx, they will have to pick it up themselves. And then charge for the cost of gas and $20/hr for your time. Good luck!

tyty Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 1:59pm
post #7 of 24

I agree with everyone, I would tell her I don't deliver small cakes and charge her full price.

My hubby called me Monday morning at 9:30 (on my off day). His co-workers are getting married and having a party at the home on Sept 20. bride to be calls Monday wanting cake for 100, I told her to come over and pick out a style. She said she would come over Tues. No call on Tues. She calls yesterday and said just do what I want as far as style and told me her colors, and wanted me to get back to her with a price.

I call her back last night and she says that price is not in their budget. She said she will have to think of something else. Good luck.

summernoelle Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 2:17pm
post #8 of 24

OK, so her budget is 175, and you were charging 225. We are talking $50. Not $500. Why couldn't she just pay that?

costumeczar Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 2:32pm
post #9 of 24

Okay, for 80 servings and a 45 minutes drive to deliver (I assume 1 way) you'd charge her $225...I assume that if you figure $45 for time and gas for delivery (which is generous on your part, I'd charge more like $60-75), you're charging her $2.25 a serving for the cake itself.

So if she just wants the 30-serving square now, just tell her that you'd need to charge her $150 for the cake minimum because you'd be giving up other business with the time it takes to deliver (that will prevent you from doing other things), then the delivery charge would still be $45, which brings her total to $195, which is still over her budget. So you're so sorry, you can't accomodate her that day. icon_twisted.gif

If she does take you up on it you'll have to do it, but at least you'll be paid better than you would have been. I doubt that she'll take you up on it, though, because if her idea was to go to get extra sheets, that's going to blow her budget even more.

jlsheik Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 5:37pm
post #10 of 24

I agree....I will shoot her a fair price and hope she just goes away!!! Thanks for the input, I was only over $50 before I even knew her budget!! Then tried to price in her budget....some people you just can't please them!!!
Thanks all,
Laura

mixinvixen Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 5:51pm
post #11 of 24

there is absolutely nothing wrong with a budget...i applaud her for going into this knowing her limits. on the flip side, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with you not being in her budget...why do you need to lower your prices just to match her?

i have a rule with my husband...when he starts taking days to design a cake, dealing with the customers wants and needs, standing on his feet on a hardwood floor for 3 days straight, baking and designing with this fickle medium, THEN AND ONLY THEN, can he promise and price a cake. it is not my problem if he promises a friend of his a favor...let him come through on it then!!

only i have the ability to price my work and book my calender.

mixinvixen Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 6:04pm
post #12 of 24

there is absolutely nothing wrong with a budget...i applaud her for going into this knowing her limits. on the flip side, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with you not being in her budget...why do you need to lower your prices just to match her?

i have a rule with my husband...when he starts taking days to design a cake, dealing with the customers wants and needs, standing on his feet on a hardwood floor for 3 days straight, baking and designing with this fickle medium, THEN AND ONLY THEN, can he promise and price a cake. it is not my problem if he promises a friend of his a favor...let him come through on it then!!

only i have the ability to price my work and book my calender.

Mike1394 Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 7:19pm
post #13 of 24

Certainly not delivered, but a couple of sheet cakes basically iced.

Mike

jlsheik Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 7:26pm
post #14 of 24

Well....I almost feel sorry for dear old hubby because he was just kinda dragged into this knowing I was not a dealer. He did at one point say to the guy....it's my wifes business, you will have to ask her.
He never(and knew better)gave them any idea that he could give them a good deal. I think it was just assumed and expected.
I kindly sent the girl an e-mail and told her what I could do for her and that I would not deliver a single cake she would have to make arrangements to pick it up. We will see what happens....

michellenj Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 7:36pm
post #15 of 24

Tell her you're booked that weekend. She sounds like she's going to be a pain in the rear.

playingwithsugar Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 7:45pm
post #16 of 24

If you decide to do the cake, it's pick-up or $100 delivery charge.

Theresa icon_smile.gif

Deb_ Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 7:53pm
post #17 of 24

Wow, I thought it was only family that did this to us!

You've tried to accomadate her budget which is very nice of you, it sounds like she was expecting "a deal". Probably her boyfriend told her "my buddy at work says his wife will give us a deal on a wedding cake".

You know, sometimes you just can't figure people out. I wouldn't stress out over this....I definitely wouldn't deliver 1 square cake 45 min. away either.

I received an e-mail from my nephew a few weeks ago saying he and his fiance' "would be honored" to have me make their wedding cake, if I could. The wedding is 09/27/08. Because, he's my nephew and godchild I told him I would. My sister phoned me over the weekend and said that she would like to pay "for the ingredients" since they are short on money. (Now, I had every intention of making this cake: 4 tier, 16, 12, 8, 4, for them as part of their wedding present.) I told my sister this and she insisted on paying for the ingredients at least. I sent her an e-mail and told her it would be approx. $100.00, now I know it will be more than that by the time I purchase everything they want, but seriously I wanted her off my back.
She left me a message on my voicemail saying "Wow, it may be cheaper for me to just order the cake from the reception venue's caterer". This is my SISTER icon_eek.gif

I want to tell her if she can get a 4 tier cake for $100.00 or less, than go for it! What would you do?

BlakesCakes Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 8:14pm
post #18 of 24

"I want to tell her if she can get a 4 tier cake for $100.00 or less, than go for it! What would you do?"

Sounds like a sterling plan to me icon_lol.gif

Now, in her defense, she may also get hit with a "plating fee" by the venue if you provide the cake, so it may costing her anywhere between $1 to $10 more per serving to serve your cake.

I had a young woman who desperately wanted me to do her cake. Her reception venue told her that she could have anyone do the cake BUT, a cake was already included in the per person price and they would NOT reduce the price (even if she told them she didn't want the cake) AND if she brought in another cake, there woud be a $2/person plating charge added on. It was a horrible injustice. She wound up with a design she didn't like, but who could justify an additional $400.......

Hope it all works out OK.
Rae

kimblyd Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 8:19pm
post #19 of 24

I don't sell cakes, just gift them. But I get the impression that the recipients (my family!!!) still think I am being cheap by just "doing the cake". If they only knew how much I spend on powdered sugar and Crisco alone!

Most people who get friends/family to make things or repair things for them actually insist on paying for the materials--for example a carpenter or plumber or maybe a seamstress. You know you need to pay for the wood, pipes and fabric!

But with cake (and maybe other edibles, I don't know) they seem to have this brain fart and forget that you have to actually go out and buy those ingredients, too plus other disposable items. Maybe they think cake mix is $1.00, so 4 tiers equals maybe $5 (you know you might need extra to buy the eggs)! Yeah right.

While this is frustrating and sometimes makes us feel devalued, I have chosen to believe that most people (non-cakers) just have NO idea what it actually costs to make a cake and how much time, energy, and love goes into it.

If they want a cheap cake, let them eat Wal-Mart cake. And that's a whole other issue...you know you can really buy a decorated cake at Wal-Mart cheaper than you can buy the ingredients (at Wal-Mart) and make it yourself? I think THAT is what is most confusing to people. DIY is supposed to save you money....

JMHO

Kim

mommyle Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 8:27pm
post #20 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimblyd



But with cake (and maybe other edibles, I don't know) they seem to have this brain fart and forget that you have to actually go out and buy those ingredients, too plus other disposable items. Maybe they think cake mix is $1.00, so 4 tiers equals maybe $5 (you know you might need extra to buy the eggs)! Yeah right.


Kim




I actually had that discussion with my mom. She was all "It CAN'T cost THAT much just to make a cake???" And I had to explain to her the exact cost of each ingredient, and break it down like that. She finally got it. But she had thought (as most people do, I suppose) well, you HAVE flour in your house, and you buy eggs all the time, and what is a stick of butter??? Now that she's enlightened she pays me well. Or fills up my gas tank.

Deb_ Posted 4 Sep 2008 , 11:36pm
post #21 of 24

I agree with you guys....but, don't any of these people we mentioned do their own grocery shopping? I get sticker shock each time I go and see how much some items are jumping in price.

Rae, I checked with the country club where the reception is (Newport, RI) by the way not a dumpy venue. The wedding coordinator was very nice and said that if I'd like to cut the cake I could or they would do it at no charge, since it will be the dessert. I was surprised at this, because like you said I have also heard of venues charging to cut the cake and plate it.

Because I don't want to "make waves" in the family, and also because I never expected any money for this cake, I phoned my sister and told her that I really would just like to take care of this cake in it's entirety as part of their present.

My husband said I should have said, "by the way the tuxedo our son has to rent for the wedding (he's an usher) is way more than we thought it would cost, I think he could pick up a used one at the Salvation Army". icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

indydebi Posted 5 Sep 2008 , 1:44am
post #22 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimblyd

I don't sell cakes, just gift them. But I get the impression that the recipients (my family!!!) still think I am being cheap by just "doing the cake".




I tell my nieces/nephews: "I'll give you the wedding cake as my gift, if your want it. And I guarantee you that NOBODY will be giving you a gift worth as much as MY gift!" Yes, I'm also tacky enough to mention just how much I'm saving them. icon_twisted.gif

I do have to add that so far, all family members have been very appreciative!

jlsheik Posted 5 Sep 2008 , 2:36am
post #23 of 24

Oh this is such a long debate amoung us....it is not only the ingredients but our TIME our papertowels, foil, electricity, water, tools and all those things that they don't think about it. I think family are the worst....I'm sorry but they really are!! I am doing 5 cakes for my sister-in-law 2 last weekend and 1 this weekend and 2 in Nov. and I will be lucky if she pays for ingredients. But as my husband says...it's your own fault you let them get by with it.
But on the other hand if I have extra batter I love giving it away....just on my own terms, nothing better than showing up with a little cake for a friend.
Thanks for all the words of encouragement today....I have not heard back from the girl that started all this today, maybe she will go to Walmart!!
Laura

xstitcher Posted 5 Sep 2008 , 6:04am
post #24 of 24

Keep us posted! I'd love to hear her response! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

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