Sometimes, I'm Not Sure I Have The Patience For Wedding Biz

Business By Rhienn Updated 26 Aug 2008 , 6:24pm by loriana

Rhienn Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:03pm
post #1 of 31

VENT:

I swear.. I'm dealing with the WORST mother of the bride in HISTORY right now. I've kept it together so far, but sometimes I just want to reach through the phone and slap her.

GAH!

Thankfully most of my brides are fantastic - but boy, the occasional doozies really try me sometimes.

I should put a clause in my contract: "Will not be held responsible for cupcake/cake results should you be a big enough PITA that I'm forced to drink in order to put up with you."

30 replies
cakedout Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:14pm
post #2 of 31

Oh man!!! Have we all been in your shoes! icon_mad.gif Sometimes I was ready to put in my brochures that NO MOTHER OF THE BRIDES ALLOWED AT CONSULTATIONS!! icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif

soccermom17 Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:21pm
post #3 of 31

Oh yes. Let's include the indecisive bride or groom that calls 4 times in one afternoon and then again after they leave the cake tasting! I've wanted to shout a few times this week. Long, deep breath and we'll make it and be stronger! (or more drunk) whichever way you want to go! Mikes Hard Lemonade sounds good today!
-Michelle

jennifer7777 Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:25pm
post #4 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhienn

I should put a clause in my contract: "Will not be held responsible for cupcake/cake results should you be a big enough PITA that I'm forced to drink in order to put up with you."




LOL.

What types of things is she doing though. I mean, at some point shouldn't we as decorators have the right to set limits? I know it's hard with trying to give good customer service, but it seems like some people need to be told "look...this process does not have to be this complicated. Let's try to find one FINAL solution to ease up the process a bit".

I don't want to speculate too much, but I just know that there are so many people that missed out on a good occasional slapping or someone telling them to just shut the hell up, and they really don't know how to act!

Hold tight...but if all else fails, a drink won't hurt you. The bottom line is to just get it done, in whichever way you must. icon_wink.gifthumbs_up.gif

cakedout Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:28pm
post #5 of 31

icon_lol.gif reminds me of a line my assistant used to say on days like this...

if I'd be getting frustrated with something and need to "take 5" I'd always say "I need to get a drink" as I'd head to the kitchen. My assistant would add, "Yeah-a good stiff one!" icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif

Rhienn Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 5:47pm
post #6 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifer7777

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhienn

I should put a clause in my contract: "Will not be held responsible for cupcake/cake results should you be a big enough PITA that I'm forced to drink in order to put up with you."



LOL.

What types of things is she doing though. I mean, at some point shouldn't we as decorators have the right to set limits? I know it's hard with trying to give good customer service, but it seems like some people need to be told "look...this process does not have to be this complicated. Let's try to find one FINAL solution to ease up the process a bit".

I don't want to speculate too much, but I just know that there are so many people that missed out on a good occasional slapping or someone telling them to just shut the hell up, and they really don't know how to act!

Hold tight...but if all else fails, a drink won't hurt you. The bottom line is to just get it done, in whichever way you must. icon_wink.gifthumbs_up.gif




I can't even get into what she's doing. She's pretty much hosed me - wedding is already over and she's still being a total weasel. I can not WAIT to be done with this woman.

I know there are always a few - but this one is just the worst ever. EVER.

Yesterday I caught myself having (as indydebi calls them) a bathroom mirror conversation with myself that went like this:

"But really - I have her address. I could just drive to her house, ring the door bell and punch her in the face when she answers."

"Rhienn - that's illegal. And somewhat immoral."

"But I WANT TO. And she DESERVES IT!"

"Think of the children..."

etc...

holoien003 Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 8:57pm
post #7 of 31

For future customers if you have a gut feeling they are going to be a pain in the butt add a bit to their price for "mental damages" thumbs_up.gif

I have very little patience and am not diplomatic so I probably would punch her....OR since the wedding is over tell her to quit being a beep beep beep and get a life....I know a miserable customer will talk more than a happy one but sounds like she's constantly miserable so what is there to lose?

indydebi Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 9:06pm
post #8 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by holoien003

For future customers if you have a gut feeling they are going to be a pain in the butt add a bit to their price for "mental damages" thumbs_up.gif




Gosh, my quotes to these kind of brides somehow seem to always get lost in cyberspace! icon_rolleyes.gif

Rhienn Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 10:43pm
post #9 of 31

I should have just sent this one packing from the get-go. Sadly, the crazy was progressive. It just kept getting worse and worse and worse and...

I'm now keeping the other cupcake shop's phone number on hand for just such occasions.

littlecake Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 11:20pm
post #10 of 31

bless your heart, they fool you sometimes don't they, acting like they won't be a pia...then later showing their true colors.

i always feel sorry for the family of these people...at least we can get away from them ......

sometimes ya feel like breaking out the nixon masks....sneaking up on them....and beatin the crap outta them...and dumping them in the dumpster out back....oooopps...did i say that out loud?

Rhienn Posted 13 Aug 2008 , 11:22pm
post #11 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by littlecake

bless your heart, they fool you sometimes don't they, acting like they won't be a pia...then later showing their true colors.

i always feel sorry for the family of these people...at least we can get away from them ......

sometimes ya feel like breaking out the nixon masks....sneaking up on them....and beatin the crap outta them...and dumping them in the dumpster out back....oooopps...did i say that out loud?




Oooh! I'm fairly certain that they can be put in the compost bin. Just doing my part for the environment and all. icon_twisted.gif

DebBTX Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 3:43am
post #12 of 31

Oh my goodness. Why is she still torturing you? Shouldn't she have moved on to someone new. icon_lol.gif

-Debbie B.

chutzpah Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 4:34am
post #13 of 31

Now I'm really curious!

SPILL THE BEANS, MISSY!!!!!

marmalade1687 Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 1:45pm
post #14 of 31

I agree with Chutzpah...I've been watching this thread since it started to see if you would spill - you can't leave us all hanging like this... icon_surprised.gif (it's better than talking to yourself in the mirror! icon_lol.gif - and at least we'll give you a cyberhug) thumbs_up.gif

Rhienn Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 5:04pm
post #15 of 31

I've not gotten my final balance (nor my cupcake tower, for that matter) from this woman yet and she's pulling all kinds of LAME excuses out of her @$$. Claiming that this or that was wrong.. obviously all in an attempt to put off paying. Pulled the same thing with the caterer and florist. Don't even ask how she managed to get all of us to actually deliver without final payment... she's that good, apparently.

I PROMISE that once I get my money (and tower) from her on Sunday, I'll be here filling you all in on the intimate details. We should make a date of it. Everyone crack open a nice bottle of the wine of your choice, maybe make a little cheese & cracker platter and get ready for a rollicking good read. She's a complete wack-job.

SharonK1973 Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 5:14pm
post #16 of 31

Sounds like a date to me... I can't wait to hear how it will all go down!

varika Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 5:54pm
post #17 of 31

I've got saltines if somebody's got some nice, mild cheddar!

DebBTX Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 6:25pm
post #18 of 31

I plan to stay tuned. I can't wait until next week. cowboy.gif
I think I'll have Kettle Popcorn and sweet tea.

-Debbie B.

peacockplace Posted 14 Aug 2008 , 7:14pm
post #19 of 31

If you could charge admission for all of us to get the story you could make back the money you lost! icon_lol.gif

Sounds like a good read. I hope you do actually get your stuff back on Sunday!

mkolmar Posted 15 Aug 2008 , 1:32am
post #20 of 31

If she keeps doing this take her to small claims court. (had to do this with someone for DH's business--basically same thing, but later that week saw them driving a brand new jag icon_eek.gif . It happens in every business unfortunately.)

I on the other hand would have hillbilly justice and just smack her. (I'm in a rough mood today can you tell icon_wink.gif )

4Gifts4Lisa Posted 15 Aug 2008 , 7:52pm
post #21 of 31

Okay. I have my gouda and bread, and a nice bottle of wine. Can't wait for Sunday!!!

Rhienn Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 4:51am
post #22 of 31

Here's the update - a day late and $100 short.

It all started when the MOB called THREE WEEKS before her daughter's wedding to schedule a tasting. I rushed them in and did a tasting on a Thursday night. The bride LOVED my cupcakes. The parents were weird, but not absurd (yet.) Obviously I gave them the "time is of the essence - get your $%^& together quickly" schpeal and sent them on their merry way.

The MOB calls me on Friday evening and leaves a message. We all know it's darn near impossible to get a cake decorator on the phone on a Saturday in July - and that was a four wedding Saturday for me - so it was nearly 2pm when I got around to listening to my voicemail. I've got three messages from MOB, each one a little more frantic than the last. "We REALLY like your cupcakes. You're our first choice, but if we don't hear back from you, we're going to have to go with someone else. You reeeeeeeally need to get back to us." Fine. I call back, we have a conversation, set a date for the final consult.

Over the course of the next four days the woman calls and emails me non-stop. She's got all these insane ideas she wants to discuss - including integrating some cake plate they're in love with onto my cupcake tower. I give her the "stability is important" speech. We move on. Then she needs special cupcake liners. She can't make a decision on ANYTHING and keeps saying she's "confused" or has questions every time I try and get a finalization out of her. I have to rush ship her special liners and gum paste flowers to get them there in time.

One week before the wedding she finally hands me a check for the deposit. But we still don't have any final details. She's pretty good, con-artist wise I guess because she manages to get the caterer and florist in the same position. The florist calls me to tell me that she's been on the phone with them today and the MOB is having a nervous breakdown because everyone is demanding their money. She's screaming and crying and going to call the whole wedding off and we're ruining her life. (oy.)

Finally, one day before the wedding she calls me to change her head count, AGAIN. She's going to have a check waiting for me at the venue.

Wedding day - I get to the venue with her cupcakes and her cutting cake and her unstable cake plate and my cupcake tower and start setting up. She's got moss down on the table and greenery coming from every nook and cranny in the place. It's gawdy. We decide not to put the mint leaf garnish on some of the cupcakes because it totally clashes with the greenery. MOB shows up - won't even make eye contact with me. No check.

I get home that evening and send her an email with her final total and a reminder that her account is now past due.

A day goes by....no word from MOB.

I send another email, try to call and get no answer. Finally I get an email that says she, "doesn't want me to worry" but that she's going over the bill and does have some questions for me. At this point, I'm so unbelievably irritated with this woman that I'm starting to lose it. I ask her to please put all of her questions into an email so that I may address them for her. I IMMEDIATELY (like, how did she type that fast?) get a very emotional reply from her, asking (among other absurd things) why I left the mint leaves off the cupcakes. Everyone was asking why they, "didn't taste any mint." She said they were "quite ordinary" without it (which is hilarious, because they were exactly the same as when she had them at the tasting at which time she gushed about how amazing they were.)

I send her a reply, calmly telling her why we left off the mint garnish and that the cupcakes were full of mojito filling that's made with fresh mint & mint extract. There's no way anyone asked her why they didn't taste mint. I address her questions and tell her that she can drop off my tower and a check on the date she's proposed.

I get another email from her asking that she be compensated because I there was no mint garnish and telling me that she doesn't feel she should have to pay for the special liners and gum paste flowers. So I email her back, offering her a small discount on the cupcakes that should have had mint and to adjust the cost of my normal cupcake liners off her bill. The whole discount amounts to about $23. My email was very formal and I noted that due to the complex nature of her order, her past due balance, expedited shipping and custom items - my business has now incurred costs far and above what an order this size would normally cost. I mentioned consulting legal counsel. She, of course, shoots back another email saying that I've offered her no compensation at all, etc. etc. Finally she asks for $100 off her total.

I've been ready to take this woman to small claims since the moment I left the reception hall without a check. I KNOW it's not worth my time to take someone to small claims over $500. But at that point it was the principal. She was jerking me around just to jerk me around. In the end, my husband talked some sense into me and I let her have her $100 discount, got a check and moved on. But it still makes my blood boil.

I'm keeping the insane emails from her.. someday they'll make great material for our collective book.

jules1719 Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 11:23am
post #23 of 31

Rhienn- This may sound like a stern parent lecture, but you need one. The problem isn't the MOB. The problem is you. Difficult to hear, I suppose, but you left your product without getting paid. No money/ no cake. Say it with me... No money/no cake.

I imagine every person in this business has those moments when we want to practice our craft in spite of the money. I bet you learned a lesson?

I ask for final payment three weeks before the date. I have had to chase plenty of clients down to the wire. No money/ no cake. Additionally, under three weeks, I won't accept checks or credit cards.

The service part of this industry requires you to be nice and to bend over to have accommodated this horrible woman. The business side requires you to never have left your product without money in hand.

Say it with me, no money/no cake.

Rhienn Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 2:44pm
post #24 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by jules1719

Rhienn- This may sound like a stern parent lecture, but you need one. The problem isn't the MOB. The problem is you. Difficult to hear, I suppose, but you left your product without getting paid. No money/ no cake. Say it with me... No money/no cake.

I imagine every person in this business has those moments when we want to practice our craft in spite of the money. I bet you learned a lesson?

I ask for final payment three weeks before the date. I have had to chase plenty of clients down to the wire. No money/ no cake. Additionally, under three weeks, I won't accept checks or credit cards.

The service part of this industry requires you to be nice and to bend over to have accommodated this horrible woman. The business side requires you to never have left your product without money in hand.

Say it with me, no money/no cake.




Yeah. Crazy... that thought had never crossed my mind. icon_rolleyes.gif

holoien003 Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 3:54pm
post #25 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by jules1719

No money/ no cake. No money/no cake. No money/ no cake. no money/no cake.




I love it! Ha ha ha! icon_twisted.gif

Aliwis000 Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 8:48pm
post #26 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by jules1719

Rhienn- This may sound like a stern parent lecture, but you need one. The problem isn't the MOB. The problem is you. Difficult to hear, I suppose, but you left your product without getting paid. No money/ no cake. Say it with me... No money/no cake.

I imagine every person in this business has those moments when we want to practice our craft in spite of the money. I bet you learned a lesson?

I ask for final payment three weeks before the date. I have had to chase plenty of clients down to the wire. No money/ no cake. Additionally, under three weeks, I won't accept checks or credit cards.

The service part of this industry requires you to be nice and to bend over to have accommodated this horrible woman. The business side requires you to never have left your product without money in hand.

Say it with me, no money/no cake.






This needs to be copied and pasted on the front page of this site lol! Business is business and do you think the grocery store will let you take home food then pay later? Much less call and say that 'you know I didnt really enjoy the frozen pizza..I ate it but didnt enjoy it so I am not paying for it.' You think that would fly? Yeah right. Rhienn I am sure your product was lovely, and tasty! Stand up for yourself, you are worth it.


Alicia

SharonK1973 Posted 19 Aug 2008 , 10:33pm
post #27 of 31

...close my eyes, take a deep breath... no money.../ no cake, no money../ no cake, no money./no cake, no money/no cake, nomoney/nocake, nomoneynocake!
Got it! That's my new policy!

jennifer7777 Posted 20 Aug 2008 , 6:35pm
post #28 of 31

Aw man Rhienn...you gave her $100?! Say it aint so! That moron should have been taken to court, especially if you spelled everything out as far as payment & return of merchandise in your contract. Going from being out $23 to $100 is a lot!
Well at this point, at least it's over. The words of jules1719 are good to live by. Oh yeah, in addition to not EVER doing another order for those people.

Question...where is the bride in all of this?

Jasmine33 Posted 20 Aug 2008 , 7:35pm
post #29 of 31

SOme people are such a nightmare to deal with!

Pookie59 Posted 20 Aug 2008 , 7:41pm
post #30 of 31

That MOB is a piece of work. I'm sure she's laughing her A** off about how she screwed everyone over. Too many people think that if they whine/scream loud enough then they can get what they want. She was probably overindulged as a child. Too bad her parents didn't smack her around a little - would have done the world a favor.

I agree... no money/no cake!

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%