Sad, Anyone Else In My Boat

Decorating By SugarBakerz Updated 6 Aug 2008 , 6:27pm by MosMom

SugarBakerz Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 7:11pm
post #1 of 42

My little girl (my 1st child of 2) will begin Kindergarten tomorrow.. I have stayed home with her all of this time and am really taking this hard, am I the only one living with this sadness... does it go away... I know I am going to be a basketcase at school tomorrow... any tips!?

41 replies
Texas_Rose Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 7:36pm
post #2 of 42

Believe me, it's totally normal to feel that my daughter's school, they actually have a Boo-Hoo Breakfast for the kindergarten parents the first day of school, right after the kids get dropped off. They hand out little packs of kleenex and hershey's kisses icon_smile.gif

My daughter started kindergarten last year and she'd never been in daycare, pre-k or even mother's day out. It was a real adjustment for us, especially because I didn't feel like the school took very good care of her (actually, toward the end of the school year I had to go talk to the principal because my daughter had a concussion and they had just sent her back to class, didn't call me, no note, etc...). Anyhow, I think I got the school straightened out on taking care of her at least as well as I do at home.

I think one of the hardest things for me was seeing my daughter learn new habits or mannerisms or even develop a new attitude, and know that she was taking on someone else's personality, even though she'd always done all of her learning from me before.

I may homeschool my younger daughter...she's not growing normally and if she's still this small in two years, no way am I trusting the school to take care of her.

Anyhow, your little guy might be sad because his sister's not home, too. I know my younger one was heartbroken for the first few weeks. We got in the habit of doing something fun after we dropped her sister off...going to the duckpond, playground, McDonalds for an ice cream cone, etc...

hellie0h Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 7:36pm
post #3 of 42

Letting go of your child at any age is hard, and as you see how well she adjusts to being there, I think your sadness will be compensated with joy in watching her grow and learn and then pride, in her accomplishments.
It was harder for me watching my sons stand at the alter getting married...remembering that first day of school, all the scraped knees, the goodnight hugs and be nevermore.
Enjoy all the "first's" time has a way of slipping by ever so quickly. Hugs to mommy letting go.

cakebaby59 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:18pm
post #4 of 42

Bless your heart!!! Been there, done that. Yes it is hard to let them go...but after the first day when she comes home all safe and sound and totally worn'll feel better. And hellieOh is so right...treasure this and all the other first's to come. Time goes so fast...too fast!!! God Bless!!! Linda

lanibird Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:21pm
post #5 of 42

Oh, I remember that feeling. It will get better. I was so mopey when my son first started school. He was in pre-k, and only half a day, so I would get excited when it was time to pick him up! icon_lol.gif Eventually I stopped being so mopey, plus it was nice to be able to run errands with out so many "Mom can I have?"'s and was able to spend some one on one time with DD who was still a baby at the time. He's in 2nd grade now, and I still miss him when he's gone, but I was counting down the days till he went back! icon_lol.gif I've got three little monkeys, and when they are together it is crazy loud, lots of fighting, couch cushions into forts, and chaos in this house!

DD will start pre-k next year, and she's the one I'm nervous about! Not because I'll miss her, which I will, but she is little Miss-Independent-Attitude-Pay Attention to Me-I'm the Queen-Take No Crap From Anyone! I just know she's not gonna be bullied because she's gonna be the bully! icon_lol.gif

And like a pp said, it's such a joy to see their accomplishments. When I pick DS up from school he just jabbers on and on about what he learned that day. And I cried when I got my first school made Mother's Day gift! Best bookmark I ever got! thumbs_up.gif

SugarBakerz Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:25pm
post #6 of 42

thanks for the nudges of acceptance and it will be okay... I worry so much because she is so tiny... she is 5 and weighs 28 pounds.... she is normal in height just low in weight, but they don't know why! I have to by 12-18 month pants to allow her to have legal length shorts.. hehehehehehehehe! She is so bossy and winey sometimes I am afraid she will get picked on for those reasons. I live in the South and here they still have paddling in schools.... if allowed by parents... If i allowed that, my child would see that thing everyday icon_smile.gif God love her, she is a sweetheart but very strong willed, and I chalk it up to her being so smile... sort of like the little big man complex!

jpcs Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:34pm
post #7 of 42

Just wait until Kindergarten graduation or any concerts/shows they put on during the year! I am a mess when it comes to that! Good luck tommorow!

ziggytarheel Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:38pm
post #8 of 42

I've got one about to leave for his second year of college and the other just graduated, teaching school, and about to move out. And I promise you, it really does feel like yesterday for the first day of school! I stayed at home as well, and I loved every minute of it. Just suited me perfectly.

Kindergarten wasn't that hard for me. I think because I loved school myself, so I had been excited FOR my kids all along and made it all seem like a great adventure for them. It is exciting when you look at their growing up that way...all the ways they get to feel all big and grown up and the new things they get to do. School supply shopping, picking out a backpack, figuring out what to wear the first day...those were big exciting fun things to do with them in those early years.

Now, going to middle school and high school? And then, helping them pack up their stuff and LEAVE me? I thought my heart was gonna rip out of my chest! I seriously had to remember to STILL look at this as something GREAT for them, an adventure, full of wonder and fun. It really helps the kids when you do this, and it probably helps mom even more.

I had a little routine every first day of school. I only worked part time after the youngest started school, so I could do this:

I looked at it as an opportunity to get my act together. I figured dinner out early and made something special. I did some extra cleaning and organizing. For the first day, I even had a homemade snack ready for them when they got home. It made me feel great about the new school year and I found that my kids really picked up on me having a fresh happy start to the school year.

And, since I was only working part time, I did volunteer regularly at the elementary school. I tutored high risk kids who had some real reading or math problems. I didn't necessarily always see my kids when I did that (sometimes I was in their classroom, but often I wasn't), but I was at the school, saw how things worked, got to know the staff, etc. That was a great thing for me to do, as I could do something helpful a few hours a week and be a part of their school. The kids loved that I was there, even if they didn't see me.

psurrette Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:40pm
post #9 of 42

Oh it will pass. I did the same thing. However my son went to school the day of Sept 11 and I was so scared. He is going into 5th grade now and I am doing just fine! have something to do tomorrow so you dont sit and miss her.
good luck

Shannie13 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:42pm
post #10 of 42

I was in the same boat last year. Almost exactly. I have one tip for you to make your baby's transition (mine are still my Keep a smile on your face at all times. You really want your daughter to enjoy learning and seeing you uncomfortable may make her feel a little uncomfortable about the situation as well. There were 5 screamers at my daughter's school so don't be surprised if you see that too.

One recommendation...have hubby there. A big hug from hubby can help!

Best of luck

Shelle_75 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:42pm
post #11 of 42
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Believe me, it's totally normal to feel that my daughter's school, they actually have a Boo-Hoo Breakfast for the kindergarten parents the first day of school, right after the kids get dropped off. They hand out little packs of kleenex and hershey's kisses icon_smile.gif

That is a fabulous idea!

I still miss my oldest (7 yrs) when he goes off to school, although I think it will be for the best this year, because he and the three year old are getting sicker and sicker of constantly being around each other all day long!

Now when my youngest, who is only four weeks old today, goes off to K...I think my heart will come right out of my chest and go with her!

vagostino Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:42pm
post #12 of 42

I feel the same way! my oldest will start kindergarten this fall and even when he'll stay at the same school/classroom (is a montessori school), just the fact that he is not going to be home for lunch is killing me. This week they are both at summer camp for 1/2 day and my mornings feel so empty!!! I'm going in circles arround the house singing "yo gabba gabba" songs....i better start doing this cake thing as a business soon or i'll go nuts! I don't even know what am I going to do when they go off to college!

Pookie59 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:44pm
post #13 of 42

Letting go is hard. I cried for three days after my first born left for Marine Corps boot camp!

Jayde Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:44pm
post #14 of 42

SugarBake I know how you feel!!!!

I have been agonizing over the same thing for like 2 weeks now. She is tiny too and just made the cutoff by 5 days, so she will be the youngest in her class. She only weighs 30 lbs and she is 40-inches tall! So shes tiny, and shy, and I have never left her with even a baby-sitter (other than my mom or MIL). I am scared to death to leave her at school all day. I am trying not to tear up as I even write this.

I am never going to get to see her, is the worst part. I work in the evenings, and get home right before bedtime, along with half-days every other Saturday. So the hour in the morning before school, the 40 minutes after school and between work, and the 20 minutes before she goes to bed are going to be a big adjustment for me.

Get a liferaft ladies, cause I opened the floodgates.

arosstx Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:50pm
post #15 of 42

My feelings echo those of ziggytarheel's. Though it was sad to see my 3 go off to Kindergarten, I was not prepared for the emotions that came from sending the first two off to high school, where they would be exposed to so much that is bad in our world. (one left, he's a fifth grader this year)

Then one left for the Coast Guard, and it was even worse. I think I moped for a year! Now I have another one leaving in less than two weeks for college, and though I've done it once it doesn't make it any easier.

You don't have to get over it, just get through it - that's what I tell myself sometimes. It's ok to be sad, but along with those tears will come happy ones as you see all they continue to grow and do.

I never think I am raising children, but instead, adults. From moments after they are born to the moment they leave our homes, we have been training and teaching them how to grow up and leave us. Having that perspective has helped me a lot, so I pass it along in the event it can help someone else.

Take care,

lanibird Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:52pm
post #16 of 42
Originally Posted by vagostino

I'm going in circles arround the house singing "yo gabba gabba" songs....

Ha ha ha! I do this too, kids around or not!

Hold still! Wiggle wiggle wiggle go! Wiggle wiggle wiggle go! Wiggle wiggle wiggle stop! Hold still!

joylee8 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:54pm
post #17 of 42

Oh, I am so in your boat! My youngest starts Monday- he has never went to anything either. He is a moms boy all the way! My oldest loves to spend the night with grandparents but not him. He says- I want to go with Mommy. But, he is scared to death, does not want to go at all. When someone says "are you ready for school?" --he says "no, Ive quit already." Talk about dreading something!!! The worst is he already cries about having to go. Hope it goes o.k. for both of us!!

hammer1 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:55pm
post #18 of 42

my little one is 22 and going back to college in 3 weeks...guess what the same feelings are there. it is all part of being a parent. The hardest thing about going to college is when you go by their room on your way to bed each night, they are not in their bed. i remember laying on her bed crying the year she first went to school. it has gotten easier as each year comes, however it is still hard, and I shed the tears driving home from her college every year...don't know if dads can relate, but moms sure can. Good luck and enjoy them while they are young.

rvercher23 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:56pm
post #19 of 42

My son started kindergarten last year and I sobbed the whole time. My husband laughed at me. I just didnt want to leave him. Now this year, my baby girl will begin pre-k, I don't know how I am going to let her go, but I guess it will get easier. I'll just have to make a cake or something to keep my mind busy!

allydav Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:57pm
post #20 of 42

My son starts kindergarten next week. I cry and mope for a little while and then I take him grocery shopping. A few hours of running errands and I can't wait for kindergarten to start. Now just think of all the decorating techniques that you've been wanting to try but have been to busy for.

hammer1 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 8:58pm
post #21 of 42

my little one is 22 and going back to college in 3 weeks...guess what the same feelings are there. it is all part of being a parent. The hardest thing about going to college is when you go by their room on your way to bed each night, they are not in their bed. i remember laying on her bed crying the year she first went to school. it has gotten easier as each year comes, however it is still hard, and I shed the tears driving home from her college every year...don't know if dads can relate, but moms sure can. Good luck and enjoy them while they are young.

ziggytarheel Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:01pm
post #22 of 42

Sorry, it's me again.


I just want to make a special point of saying that even though every child has their own special personality and some are just naturally more independent than others, it is SO important for your child not to think you are sad that they are going to school!

Our children take their cues from us much of the time. They don't want mommy to be sad. How can they be doing a good thing if it makes mommy sad? If mommy is sad, either they should be sad too because this is a bad thing they are about to do, or at the very least, it makes them reconsider what they thought was good about going.

My kids have been overnight camp counselors and they've told me, and I've seen it for myself, that the number one cause of a kid being terribly homesick at camp is how their parents have treated the situation. The kids that get REALLY homesick are the ones whose parents expect them to be, ask them about being homesick in their letters, make a big scene when they leave them, and are sure to tell the kids over and over again how much they miss them and how sad they are.

So, dont' do that. icon_smile.gif Find it in yourself to emphasize the good things, make the first day special and SMILE.


See? Just like that.

Hugs to ya.

lardbutt Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:07pm
post #23 of 42

I feel like such a better mom when school is in! All summer we have not been on any sort of schedule, but when schools starts that all changes. I can't do anything without my planner!

I love being on a schedule and the kids do as well. Between sports, dance, homework, and everthing else, I NEED those few hours w/o them. icon_redface.gif

I will still have the 9 month old at home. It will be fun to just hang out with her for a change. She has just learned to crawl and is getting into everthing, so I will definitly have something to do!

I do remember the feeling of dropping off my oldest for the first day of k-5. She had never been to daycare and did not go to pre-school. I was a mess! I cried all day. But it was all ok! Man, next year I will be dropping her off at high school...........ok, now I'm about to cry! icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif

lepaz Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:19pm
post #24 of 42

I feel your pain, just wait until your LAST baby is in school!!! My last baby is going to 1st grade this year, but last year I was a mess!
Everytime I watched the little yellow bus pull away, I got teary eyed icon_cry.gif . Spank me, but there were a couple of times that he was "sick" icon_rolleyes.gif and we just spent the day together (and he only went half days). I cried at my oldests middle school ceremony, heck it just seems like I sent her to Kindergarten and now she's off to high school. I just feel my nest getting emptier and emptier. I don't know what I'm going to do with all four of them gone to school all day now. Work??!!

Does someone out there have any extra babies you can lend me?????

lepaz Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:22pm
post #25 of 42

Oh, forgot to say, take lots of pictures and start a kindergarten scrap book. I wish I had done that will all my kids and now kick myself!

CranberryClo Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:23pm
post #26 of 42

Hey Pookie -

Thanks for sharing your child with the armed forces. I would cry, too, if I knew my child were going to physically lay down his life for his beliefs.

I hope your Son is well.

Best wishes,

summernoelle Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:24pm
post #27 of 42

Ooohhhh, I dread that day, yet look forward to it. My son is 4 1/2, so I have another year home with him. It will break my heart when he goes off to school, and even more so when my youngest goes and I am all alone. How will I fill my days?

lepaz Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:27pm
post #28 of 42

How will I fill my days?

Summernoelle, we need to start a support group icon_cry.gif ! I'll bring the chocolate cake and tissues!

thedessertdiva Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:37pm
post #29 of 42

I have 2 kids. One is going into the 6th grade this year and the other is 4, last year of Preschool.

One the first day of school (Kindgarten) for my 11 yr old I was a major wreck. I was anal about getting everything just right, the best packed lunch, her clothes ironed, her hair all curled up and in pretty ribbons. We walked down the road to the school and I was a weeping mess the whole way there (2 blocks). We got to the gate of the school and I was all ready to walk her into class and make sure she was all settled, when she let go of my hand, turned around and yelled "Bye Mom. Go home. I'm a big girl now."

I lost it. Totally lost it. I walked home, sobbing all the way and I think I cried until she came home that day. She told me how much fun she had and to be honest, I enjoyed the few moments alone while she was gone. After a few days, I was ok.

My youngest went off to Preschool this last Jan and I was more composed. I was ready to let him go and be a big kid. Up until we hit the door of the school. OH I was a mess all over again. He looked up and me and said "Mom, you're being silly. Stop crying and leave" and then he walked into class. icon_eek.gif

I guess both my kids are independant little buggers and for that I am greatful. I have seen plenty of kids who, even after weeks or months of school, they still cry and scream like they are never going to see their parents again.

It'll be ok. Smile. Let them know that this is a big step for them and that they are getting to be so big and how proud you are of them. That makes it easier for everyone.


JodieF Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 9:42pm
post #30 of 42

My baby is a senior in high school this year, so that's giving me some "moments". My oldest lived at home through college. My older son went away to college. I did great when we drove him up there (I SWORE to myself I wouldn't cry!), unpacked him and went book shopping. I was fine until he hugged me goodbye. Then I couldn't stop crying. I cried for an hour in the car. My DH asked if I needed him to pull over and I just told him I needed to cry until I didn't need to anymore so he should just keep driving. Poor guy. Fun drive for him.
I finally stopped and then when we got home there was a message from my son telling me that he'd come home a lot and that he wasn't really gone and that he loved me. Of course, I couldn't stop crying again after I heard that! icon_cry.gif
He's a senior in college this year......


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