How Can I Tell Him I Want To Do Business With Someone Else?

Business By maggiev777 Updated 5 Aug 2008 , 12:38am by indydebi

maggiev777 Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:26pm
post #1 of 11

Ok I know this is OT, but I thought I would ask here anyway since the issue comes up from the opposite side when we as bakers are dealing with "customers" (even if we are not charging).

We need to get family portraits taken. I asked around for referrals and got one for a guy whose stuff online was decent, and so I chatted with him for a while (talking about everything from price to where to shoot the pics to what to wear to what we would get back(print sizes and jpegs). My friend works with him sometimes (she is a teenager and wanting to learn photography - she gave us the original referral) and I told her she could join us on our photo shoot if she wants.

So here is the problem. I also got a referral from another friend, and I think I like the second referral much better. Her work just seems so much better, from what I can see online. Their price is the same (though the second lady knocked $50 off hers b/c of the friend referral, which ended up matching the first guy's price, though I didn't tell her that).

I feel terrible going back to the first guy and canceling (no money has yet changed hands) after we had already talked about so much on the phone, especially because my ONLY reason for switching is that I like the woman's work better than his. I *think* that she seems more experienced than he does, though I don't know that for sure - I'm just guessing since his calendar had more open spots, and he has asked my friend to model for him to build his portfolio.

What can I say to him that will allow me to bow out gracefully? Photography is such an art and I know it must be hard to not feel rejected if someone just likes someone else's work better. I really don't want to say that to him!!!

Any ideas would be MOST appreciated!!

10 replies
Karema Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:31pm
post #2 of 11

I would feel kind of bad also. I would say that we have decided not to do pictures right now. It would be kind of a lie but I would just change the date. I wouldnt want to hurt him and say I found someone else bc you never know when you will need someone again.

cakesbycathy Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:41pm
post #3 of 11

I understand why you feel bad. Sounds like you don't want to hurt his feelings.

However, if he is operating as a business (or trying to start his business), this is something that happens all the time and he needs to get used to it. It's not personal. It's business.

I would email him something along the lines of how much you appreciate his time, but at this point you've decided to go in a different direction. Wish him success in his business. I'm sure it will sting, but you have to do what is best for your family.

Good Luck!

indydebi Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:48pm
post #4 of 11

Cathy's right ... it's business, not personal. (And I find that guys tend to take it less "personal" than women do.) I think the "we've decided to go another direction" is an appropriate phrasing. Thank him for his time and, if you honestly feel this way, tell him you'll be glad to refer him to others looking for portrait work.

littlecake Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 9:54pm
post #5 of 11

when i have someone cancel...i don't go home and cry, i barely give it a second thought....

customers think we take it personally....but if you're busy you don't have time to think about these things....he prolly is busy with a lot of different customers, people cancel stuff all the time, believe me, his main focus isn't you, he has other customers.

just sent him a simple e mail.

marknelliesmum Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 10:30pm
post #6 of 11

What would be worse - cancelling, feeling bad for a wee while and having pictures that you are happy with (I hope!) or not wanting to be the bad guy, having photos that you are not 100% happy with and thinking...I wish I had gone with my gut feeling then probably paying again to get photos that you like. If I were the photographer I would want you to pick me because you were happy and confident in my ability etc. not because you felt sorry for me or guilty about turning me down.

JMO - it's your call

1234me Posted 4 Aug 2008 , 11:26pm
post #7 of 11

I agree with littlecake - if someone inquiries about my cakes but decides to go elsewhere, it doesn't hurt my feelings one bit. It is business and I don't take it personally.

maggiev777 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 12:02am
post #8 of 11

Thanks so much all of you! I guess I'm just thin-skinned and so I project this onto this guy, when probably he isn't even like that. I think I'd be different if it wasn't such an artistic field, kwim? Anyway, I will get on the calendar with the other lady and then call him tomorrow to cancel. Thanks for the encouragement. I really don't want to feel regret every time I look at the pics...!

indydebi Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 12:11am
post #9 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiev777

I *think* that she seems more experienced than he does, though I don't know that for sure - I'm just guessing since his calendar had more open spots,




This is why I won't put a calendar on my website. People see blank spaces and think "oh, she must not be any good."

maggiev777 Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 12:36am
post #10 of 11
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiev777

I *think* that she seems more experienced than he does, though I don't know that for sure - I'm just guessing since his calendar had more open spots,



This is why I won't put a calendar on my website. People see blank spaces and think "oh, she must not be any good."




Actually his calendar isn't online - rather, I said what I did based on the several imminent options he gave me for when he could schedule our shoot, including this Saturday morning. In contrast, the other lady had fewer options (and hers were a couple of weeks out at least) and her Saturdays are busy with weddings (why weren't his? I know he does weddings).

Anyway, I think you are right about having your calendar online though!! thumbs_up.gif

indydebi Posted 5 Aug 2008 , 12:38am
post #11 of 11

Ooops, my assumption! icon_redface.gif thanks for clarifying!

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