I don't even know where to even begin. My life is like an F10 tornado. Thats the only way i feel to describe it. It just keeps turning and turning and it won't let me out. What does a person do when there husband doesn't feel any thing any more and it is because of something i done so its not his fault. Im sorry for what i done, im sorry i have made him feel this way, im sorry we don't get along, but i just don't know what to do. I know its not fair for him, me or the kids to be miserable. He even told me the other day that if i didn't want to wait on him to possibly never get over this that it was ok and i didn't have to.
Both our kids will be in school this year so i am looking for a job. My girlfriend told me to get a job and put some money in the bank that way if something happens i will have money.
I just don't know what to do. I feel like we are strangers, even in the bedroom.
He is going to be starting a job in a plant and is going to be working a 21 shift for those who know what that is and i feel its going to worse because we will never see each other and he will never be home.

I hope this makes sense i just set down and started typing.
It feels good to be able to get on here and talk like this.

Thanks for listening
Tonya

Tonya,

I'm so sorry to hear about this. I hope everything will get better for your family . It always helps to talk with someone about it too. If you don't have any family near you can always talk with us here at C&C.

Have you two considered couple's therapy? Maybe it would help him get over whatever it is you did. I really have no advice. I'm so sorry this is happening and I hope things start to look up for you. You'll be in my prayers.

Tonya;
You need to get some consouling. It would be even better if the two of you could go together but if not than just you go.
Do you go to church? Can you talk to the minister? (Not every minister is good at consouling. He/She might just refere you to a marriage counsler.)
Try hard to look/act positive instead of dweling on what is wrong/not right/making you unhappy.
Try killing him with kindness. Do unto him as you would him to do to/for you.

Kakeladi: "try killing him with kindness..."

That is the most time tested and good advice anyone could give. I am certain, sincerely followed, it can melt the most stone hearted...good luck Tonya, remember it must be worth trying to save or else you wouldnt have gotten in in the first place. God bless you.

Thanks so much you guys for listening and for the advice. Ive been doing the kindness thing now for 5 months and it goes really well until he starts thinking about the past and then it goes to he$$ in a handbasket.
My bestfriend sent me a text message the other day and told me what she is about to tell me i need to write down and put away because she doesn't want me to get screwed. She tells me that if he leaves and gives me everything he is not going to pay childsupport. I told her if he doesn't want to go to court then yes he will. Then she texts me back and says he is planning on leaving me and the kids, leaving me with all the debt and walking away a free man. How am i suppose to react to something like that. I did write it down and put it in an envelope and put it in a safe. I told her if he leaves all i have to do is sell all the equipment to our business and i will be debt free except for our house.
I am looking for a job. Our kids will both be in school so i figure i just take it day by day and get a job start putting money away and be prepared.

Thanks again so much for listening
Tonya