So I have a 3 yr old girl. She will be 4 in JAnuary. My husband and I have been married for a little over 4 yrs. Our daughter was a wonderful surprise. We have enjoyed her so much. As soon as she was born, people were already asking me if I was going to have another one. I go to a church with 3000 members. So you can imagine how many people asked me every Sunday and Wednesday. Anyhow, for the longest time I always said absolutely not. I wasn't expecting this one, so she's the only one I want. I would get baby fever off and on throughout the past few years. But this time it's hit me hard. Like I'm thinking about what it would be like with two kids, how are we going to do the room situation,etc. You know all the baby stuff you have to take in account for. Maybe I am really overthinking this. But I feel like maybe I am ready now. My daughter is in a place where she wants to help me do all the grown up stuff. Help clean my room ( of coourse she never wants to clean hers ) put away the dishes. She is a very good kid. And I just wonder what a great addition another child would be. Only catch is, my husband is like SUPER potent. Like once I stop my IUD, we can start "trying" immediately. So once we "try" the first time, there is no turning back. The way his men are built, and the way I am, we more thanlikely would gat a hit the first time. hahahahaha. I'm not kidding guys. SO anyway, I just wanted to share that. Any feelings thought or advice is always welcome.
Honestly, this is a choice you and your dh really need to sit down and talk about. BUT I can say this being a mom of 2 is AWESOME! My daughter is 4 (will be 5 in November) and my son is 3 (will be 4 in February - yes they are only 14 1/2 months apart). I LOVE having 2 children and they play well with each other (most the time )
I love that they will always have each other and I hope that they always get along as well if not better as they do now.
But like you said once you make that commitment there is no going back so REALLY make sure it's something that you and your dh want to do. It is a blessing of huge proportions as you well know. I know my dd even at 14 months loved mothering my son when he was a newborn and I see her now w/ my 2 month old neice it's a great age she loves helping and being apart of what the grown ups do (SOOO milking that while it lasts)
GOOD LUCK in your decision!
On no, don't get me started! My LAST baby just started crawling this week. She is 8 months old. It's like she grew up over night! She is pulling up on everything and her little personality is just blossoming!
I have five little blessings and the last one was really a suprise. I thought I was done, but she has been such a wonderful addition to our family. The other children just love her to death!
I understand about your DH's little fellas being potent! Believe me, if I though about sex, I would get pregnant. I was on birth control when two of my five were conceived!
I did have my tubes tied after the last one. I was a little sad, but I know my family is complete.
I wish you and your hubby the best in what ever you decide to do. You are blessed no matter what you decide!
Speaking from nearly fourteen years of experience, I can tell you that a second one is a great joy as well as a huge challenge. The challenge is in dealing with their interactions with each other. They can get into some serious fights and it will take every ounce of creativity, patience, and parenting skills that you have to get through it.
As long as your husband is on board, go for it. Enjoy the rollercoaster ride!
Just go for it. If you think about it too much, you will never have another.
Don't be surprised if the second child is completely different from your first. My dd was a wonderful baby, followed a schedule, was a good sleeper, but a thumb sucker. Mr ds came, and I was like "what is wrong with this kid?" He was totally different, not laid back at all, a PITA, actually, and at 3 1/2 has just started sleepting through the night. Never followed a schedule, either. He learns differently, I have to explain things to him differently, and he is much less emotional and more rational than dd. It surprised me how different they are. Maybe it's a boy/girl thing, or a first born/ second born thing.
It's great havig 2 though! My dh was mad that we got pg after trying once for ds. He was hoping it would take months and months.
We struggled with it for awhile. We had a daughter and we were happy with one but baby lust hit and then it took us quite some time to get pregnant with our son.
I can't imagine life without both of them. We've decided two will be it for us and baby lust hits every so often. I think I'm going to send DH in for an "altercation" just to seal the deal. ;]
Don't even get me started on potency and my DH. I always tell my friends not to touch him, they might get pregnant. I've even offered to rent him out! Both of my DS's were birth control/condom babies and they're only 20 months apart (we think I conceived on my older DS's first bday )! We're hoping the IUD can hold up against his little men this time, since abstinence isn't really an option.
I feel ya on the baby fever too and I HAVE a baby! Well Jack is technically a baby, but he's 6 mos old and sits, scoots, rolls, jabbers, eats baby food etc, so it doesn't feel like I have my wittle baby anymore! My mom and DH almost had a heart attack yesterday when I told them I wanted another one already. I really don't want another, but I loved being pregnant and I miss the newborn days, when they're so small and cuddly! DH doesn't know it yet, but when Jack is 2, we're going to start trying again -- unless his super soldiers break the barricade before then...
Okay I can only speak from your daughters point of view since I have no kids of my own.
I LOVE having siblings! I am the oldest of 4 and have two younger brothers and a younger sister. Do we all get along all the time? HECK NO! Are their moments when we cant stand each other? OH YEAH But do I know that these are the people who will stand by me and help me in the years to come? YES!
Being the oldest has made me grow up fast, me and my youngest brother are 12 years apart. But I wouldnt change it for the world.
As stated above obviously this is a very personal choice that only the two of you can make but I love my family and I really do think when it comes down to family the more people you have who love you the better off you are.
You're right about over thinking it. We will always find something that makes us think we can't do it. My husband is definitely not the obsatcle. He has always been all for a 2nd child. He never pressured me, but I know he wants one. Evrytime I bring up us having another in the future, his face lights up. I gues he's got a big surprise when he gets back from out of state. I'll talk to him tomorrow and let him know what I'm thinking. Oooooo I want a BABY!!!!
I have the fever also, especially when I go to a store and walk down the baby aisle and all u smell is the baby powder and lotions and u see the little clothes...OMG, I'm tearing up just thinking about it I have a 7 year old son and he's a handful and he asks all the time for a brother or sister and one day when he was about 4 he got down on his knees and said 'God can you please send me a brother or sister, please' It broke my heart because I've been having problems conceiving for the past few years But then there are times when I think about what I went thru during labor with my son....2 weeks over due...27 hours of labor & pushing....many stitches, fever (had to take anitbiotics), pain in my jaw & teeth from biting down so hard trying to push this buddah of a baby out and not to mention he was almost 10 pounds and I say no more for me. I'm in pain just thinking about it! DH says that once our son turns 10 there will be no more trying And then there are times when I just want to punish my son for life (he's only 7 but he has a slick mouth) I don't know sometimes I kinda want one and sometimes I really want one. I'd prefer twins
I am right there with you Kivia. On the other hand for me, my first pregnancy was great. I had no problems only that I gained too much weight. At that point , I would've been ok to called a hefer. Birth day cake 1 week early, and labor was 10 hours. However, she was almost 10 lbs as well. She was so big, that I had to have surgery to rebuild my uterus. She damamged it because she was so big. And now she is just the greatest kid. You always hear of having a great 1st one, and the next is or will be the opposite. Who knows. Tonight is the night i am going to talk with him about it.
I don't know Bella. My 1st one was great and my 2nd is equally as great. I have no complaints. Easy babies and easy kids. My 11 year old daughter is starting to get a little sassified but we're keeping her in check.
Sorry, had to jump in here!! I would NEVER have just one!!! Although my theory of boy, girl, cool....
boy needs brother, cool....
girl needs sister, cool....
sibling needs older and younger siblings, cool....
Okay, so I have 7 kids!!!! And twins in the middle of it all!! 2 girls 5 boys!
What can I say! I've lost my marbles, it's been hard, but what a blast it's been!! Sort of. Sure, okay, it's been fun. I think. Remember, the marbles are all gone.
But I'm done.
my grandma was an only child and she made me promise to have another one after my little girl was born. (i knew i wanted at least 2 anyway!) they're all different so don't worry about having a tough kid. they're all tough sometimes anyway right?! i have 3 including one surprise one (my boys are 20 months apart) and they're all sweet and hilarious and ornery and i wouldn't trade any of them for anything. i'm not totally opposed to going back to work when the summer's over either! (being a teacher is wonderful!)