OMG you guys! I could hardly get to sleep last night because of this 'customer' (and I use the word loosely) from DH's company, which I run the office and scheduling for. We have about 1500 customers and a delivery schedule that books up for about 3 months in advance, all year. If you want to get on our schedule, you better call EARLY. I had to share this, because it reminds me of some bride stories I've heard where you never hear back from them after a consult, then tah-dah, they call you the week before the wedding and say, "So, how's my cake coming?" Here's the story, proof that it's not just brides:
Background is that we totally don't like dealing with this guy in the first place, because his delivery address is so far away and so hard to find and such a difficult drive, that we wish he'd just quit calling in the first place. The first time we delivered to him, the drivers got lost, he had to go find DH and lead him to his mountaintop home, then we got BOTH large trucks stuck so bad in his driveway that we almost we didn't get them out. To top it off, every year, he complains about something from the prior year, whines about delivery fee, but still wants to order again. And only by email, never answers his phone...
So THIS YEAR...he contacts me on June 9 to say that they want to order again, but that they have "some concerns" from last year's delivery, and then goes into several oddball complaints that are basically not possible with the machinery we use. He asks what the available dates are and what his delivery fee will be, etc. I'm thinking, we need to get rid of this guy once and for all (please!). So I quote him our very high delivery fee for his far-far-away location, and I tell him we can only bring one truck, not a truck and trailer, not 2 trucks, which limits his order quantity as well. I tell him that at this point (June 9), my dates for summer are filling up very rapidly and that I have Aug 12 and 23rd as my first openings, and to please let me know if an August date will work for him as soon as possible.
I hear nothing back, and since he did this last year too (didn't answer for about 6 weeks), I assume he's shopping around for a better deal from someone who lives closer to his far-far-away address, who can put up with his PIA self. I save his email but go on with my life, assuming he's finally gone.
Skip ahead from June 9 to....LAST NIGHT (what? July 29??? seven weeks LATER??), and I get an email from him. "Hi, it's August and your delivery date is coming up. We'd like to make sure we get your largest load possible, and please make that delivery after 4:00 p.m. that day, as we both work." I literally sat there like 
, then I started laughing so hard
that the kids thought something was wrong ("Mom, that's an evil laugh.").
Are you SERIOUS?? Are you KIDDING ME??!? August 12?!?!! 
BWAHAHAHAAH Dude, my first available dates, as of this morning, and pending emails from three customers from yesterday reserving the schedule even further, are not until Oct 29!!!
So, I am sitting here drumming my fingers until 9:00 a.m., when I can call this idiot and ...(calm down)....sweetly tell him that since he didn't get back to me in JUNE (No. No yelling. Smile through your teeth), that he is not ON our schedule. Our delivery fee and product prices have also gone up, and would he still like to reserve Oct 29th before I give it to someone else today?
For this conversation, I want to SPEAK to him. He probably won't answer, but I would soooooooooo like to hear the silence on the other end of the phone when he finds out there is no way in heck we will be there on Aug 12. Good Lord...WHO waits 7 weeks to get back to you on an order by email???!
Anyway--it reminded me of brides who do the same thing, 2 weeks before the wedding they didn't book for-- "But when we met six months ago, you HAD my date available..."
I guess I shared this to remind us all to remember that if people (brides, customers, whoever) drop the ball and fail to plan--or answer an email or phone call--they don't get to work with us.
Ah, only 45 minutes and I can call him...heh heh heh (evil laugh) I better get some coffee for this.
<snicker>
Please record the conversation, so you can type it out for us word for word...
I am dying to hear his response!!!
Dumba$$.
Well, nothing so far. No answer on the phone, so I emailed him something like this at 9:00 a.m.:
"Hi (customer)-
I didn't hear back from you after my initial June 9 price quote; therefore, I assumed you weren't ordering. Not having heard back from you, I didn't schedule you a delivery date. My earliest available dates as of this morning are Oct 28-31. Please let me know today if you would like to reserve one of these dates, as they will be filled up by tomorrow or Thursday. Our current delivery price to your address is..." (more than you can afford, please get lost) etc etc
Regards...
Me"
It's almost noon and no answer, so we'll see if he write back after work tonight or something. By then I'll be in Nov on the sched. Hopefully he'll just go away for good.
waiting with baited breath for updates!
Had one guy who placed an order but he didn't need it for 12 weeks. Ah.... a customer with good lead time, bless him! So I put it on the factory schedule. He calls 6 weeks later and wants his order NOW! My customer service rep explains that we don't have his order ... he ordered it for 12 weeks out, not 6 weeks out.
Well he can't figure out why he can't have it now because (whine and stomp foot) he ordered it six weeks ago!! So I try to help my CSR explain to him that we're not going to order material 12 weeks ahead of time and SIT ON IT, and pay for it super early, and eat space in our production facility JUST IN CASE he calls in and wants it early. He ordered it 12 weeks out ... we'll order the material 5 weeks before due date so it will arrive 1 week before due date ... it's called Just In Time delivery and everybody's doing it!
Moron.
Well, no answer as of 4:20 p.m today, and sure enough, the phone and email orders have been busy today, and all I have left of October is the 30th, then I'm in November. He's going to LOVE that...
Hopefully he's just decided to call someone else. (pleasepleaseplease)
HC your getting quite the fan club here, lol reminding me of that one movie with Jim Carey in it where he lives his life on national tv (Only in his case he doesn't realise it lol)...
i see how it goes now (coughs,clears voice)
"ahem.. Today here on CCN (Cake Central Network, or should it be CCTV? lol) we have a sad case of Moron Central.. memberships are going fast.. get yours while you can..
GenGen, you're funny!
UPdate: Sure enough, today I get an email from Mr. Too-Late.
As if I didn't just try to blow him off, and with no mention of "Sorry I left you hanging for 7 WEEKS"...He just writes, "So can we come pick up our order at your location?" 
uh...I graciously said, "Yes, of course you can, and you'll save $151.60 to do it." Little does he know he may save some actual cash, but he gets to drive like 2 hours one way to our log yard, buy himself and his help lunch and lots of water, fill his truck with gas at least once, load 192 cubic feet of firewood into his truck, drive it all the way home, throw it off by hand, and then stack it. So he's handling it 3 times, for the savings...barely worth it, to me...
But hey--at least he won't be cold this winter. mmmphf! 
So, that's that. Unless he rolls into the log yard unannounced and says, "Hi, I'm here to get my wood," on a day when he's not scheduled. HAHA
Thanks for tuning in; I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress!
Reading this makes me so happy that I have the chance to be a stay at home mom now. I definitely don't miss the days I had to deal with customers like this. Only, I was never lucky enough to get one that only wanted to communicate via email. Nooooo--they alwats wanted to call me on the phone and berate me and then expect that I give them my best customer service.
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