Over the years I've had some nasty surprises, so I started requiring the bride to bring the topper to me the week before the wedding!
I had a special cabinet where I stored these toppers(with a note attached with thier name, date and reception location) so they wouldn't get lost in the shuffle.
One wedding cake I did, never thought to ask about a wedding topper. Low and behold it was a ceramic one, and me with no support system. It tumbled of the cake, luckily the curling club has a cake decorating set and it repaired nicely, the cake that is, topper had no damage. I got to keep the little kit too.
It was 5 years ago the weekend that lower Ontario and Upper State NY lost all power.
Either give it to be before or leave it on the cake table. But either way I ask how it is so I know if I have to put additional support on it.
Ditto. I always give them the speech of "just because it's made to go on a cake, doesn't mean it's MADE to go on a CAKE!" I also share the story I heard of a bride buying an 8" topper to go on a 6" cake, then got mad at the cake decorator because it didnt fit. 
I always explain that I may have to do "additional structural engineering" to enable the topper to be on the cake. Using those terms let's them know that it's serious ... much more than just floppin' it on top of the cake.
Most of mine just leave it on the table.
Same here--I always ask them what it is, how wide, and how heavy, so I know if I'll need to dowel the top tier.
I have them leave it on the cake table for me, and I always bring extra dowels and a little 4" white polypropylene board, just in case I need to get creative at the last minute with support, or if it's a hollow figurine.
I've only had two brides forget--one didn't have the topper there when I got there (don't know if it ever showed up). The other forgot to have the florist leave flowers for the cake, so we made do by sticking her "toss" bouquet in the top tier, inside a hollow hidden pillar (thank goodness I had THAT with me).
I prefer they bring it to me ahead of time, so I can be sure that it will fit on the top tier, and be prepared for any additional support it might need. Although sometimes I do let them just leave it at the site. I do emphsize the dimensions and I'm always prepared, though, with straws and skewers in my kit. I don't have too many using toppers, though. One thing, with the trend of monogram toppers, sometimes they don't have a long enough pick to support their weight and you may need to hot-glue a skewer to them.
I don't have too many using toppers, though.
I agree. I think the price of toppers has gotten SO over the top that it's ridiculous to pay that kind of money for a topper. Most of my brides are going with flowers or simple ribbon, but mostly flowers.
I also have them dropped off about a week before the wedding. Once a bride came over with a pewter statue to put on top of the cake in must have been 20lbs! I was able to talk her into placing it in front of the cake, and putting some flowers on top of the cake instead (we had some sugar flowers scattered over the rest of the cake, so we put them on top too). I have a cabinet set aside where I put all of the drop-offs for my weddings - they all get labeled as they come in so I don't get mixed up as to which wedding they are supposed to go to.
I require that they have the final payment and topper to me 2 weeks before. I had a bride who had a 5lb Lenox oval shaped topper. Had she left it on the table, I would not have had the things to support when I arrived to deliver the cake. The only exception is if it's fresh flowers of course.
I also ask for the topper two weeks before the wedding. I tell the bride that the topper is part of the design of the cake and I need it to get the full design (except live flowers of course) I also tell them that many venues loose these topper, they are locked in some office that nobody has the key too, or as many said, may not fit on the cake.
I also had a few surprises, where a topper was sitting there that I was not told about. One time it was an old topper where it was not balanced and would barely stay untilted on the table, much less on the cake! We chose to just leave it on the table, as it make the cake look crooked..
I've shared this story before, but it seems the place to mention it. 
If you tell them "leave the flowers/topper on the cake table" (like I do) be sure everything is labeled!!!
I arrived at a wedding and there was a bundle of small roses on the table. I didn't have a, note about flowers on my order form, but hey, if they left me flowers, I'll put them on the cake. It looked great, if I do say so myself. Here's the cake: http://www.cakecentral.com/modules.php?name=gallery&file=displayimage&pid=841753
Bride's mom calls me the next monday. "Did you find some flowers on the cake table?" SUre I did! Didn't you see them on the cake?
OMG, Turns out I had cut up the bride throw-away bouquet and put it on the cake! 
I cannot tell you how I was stumbing over myself apologizing hand over fist! The mom understood how that happened ... she primarily wanted to know for sure that the florist had provided it since she had paid for it.
So now I tell brides this story and add, "So anything on the cake table is up for grabs. If it doesnt' go on the cake, DON'T put it on the cake table!"
that is a understandable mistake! I have noticed this a new trend, having the tossing bouquet next to the cake. Why is that? Do they cut the cake, then throw the bouquet?
Back in my day, a lot of times the brides maids would put their bouquets around the cake to make the photos pretty. You think this is how this trend started?
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