I grew up in a broken home...but I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. My grandfather's take on things 'A man's work is outside and a woman's work is inside the house'.... I use to see my grandfather come inside the house from mowing the lawn and washing the cars after my grandmother had mopped the floor he would make dirt tracks inside the house and then tell my grandmother to go and mop it back up 
My grandfather didn't set a good example for us...he'd take us to his mistress' house oh and I have an uncle who I am older than 
My grandmother worked like a dog cleaning up behind my grandpa, my uncle and my dad (who by the way still lives with them) there was never a day when there wasn't food on the table...they're just all around nasty a$$ men 
After witnessing that for years, I told myself that I am never getting married if thats how a woman is suppose to be treated. But then I met my hubby and he knows that my & his "place" is where ever I say it is...whether its helping him water the grass I'm there or whether its him helping me wash the dishes or fold the clothes...he's there 
See I told him what I won't put up with from him of course he gets out of line but I put him back in his place 
I understand that a wife must be submissive and all the crap but if I'm doing something and my son needs something he very well better get off his a$$ and tend to my son's needs or he will have hell to pay. But I also know not to bother him when he is working 
Bottom line u have to train them...the way I'm talking you'd think I've been married for decades 
I've been married for a year and a half but we've been together for 9 years now so I've had plenty of time to train him
I understand that a wife must be submissive and all the crap ....
I'm no expert but in conversations with my sister (who I WOULD call an expert! ), the other half of this is that men are suppose to treat their wives like Christ treated his church .... to love and care for them in the highest place of honor.
It isn't a "man can do what ever he wants and women just have to put up with it."
I understand that a wife must be submissive and all the crap ....
I'm no expert but in conversations with my sister (who I WOULD call an expert!
), the other half of this is that men are suppose to treat their wives like Christ treated his church .... to love and care for them in the highest place of honor.It isn't a "man can do what ever he wants and women just have to put up with it."
Indydebi, u & ur sis are so right I'll make sure to remember that quote if my hubby ever tries the crap OP is talking about 
See my grandfather treated my grandmother that way until she ended up getting very sick and then he realized he had to fend for himself. My grandmother cooked every single day of the week and now its down to 1 day a week Sundays
My grandfather's take on things 'A man's work is outside and a woman's work is inside the house'....
But then I met my hubby and he knows that my & his "place" is where ever I say it is...
That is exactly why I am the way I am. My granny worked AND waited on my paw paw hand and foot even though he cheated. My dad expected the same except that my mom stopped working after he made the comment that her money wasn't much help, so she quit. I refuse to be a door mat.
I agree with a lot of what you guys have said. I just wanted to clarify a couple of things. When I said that he expects me to make his dinner and bring it to him, I don't actually give him the satisfaction of doing it. I'm pretty strong willed (in other words stubborn 
). My only problem is that I keep my frustrations inside and after they happen a few times I tend to explode, hence my emotionally filled vent. He is still going pretty well after we'd talked and yes adven68 he's always been this way.
I did notice one thing in the last two days and hopefully this may help some other people too. I noticed that every time I was angry at something he did, at the end of our discussions, arguments or loud disagreements it would always end up being about me being the guilty party. I tried something new (for me anyway) where I wouldn't react straight away and answer him softly and then today I said to him, it's funny how you tend to shout when I point something out and you drag me into your argument to make me forget about what you'd done wrong or why I was frustrated with you. And you know what he did? He stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at me and then a smile crept on his face. He always smiles when I prove him wrong!!
Give that a go whenever anyone's trying to turn the situation on you!!
maryak: That is SO sneaky. U know my DH always says, all relationships are trust based, love, family or business. I know life is not B & W but this is more grey than it should be, I had someone who used to do that to me, they would always find some fault first and then get me to give in to whatever they really wanted at the outset. Glad to say, they are no longer a part of my life!
....only have one in the house, maltese, he P's outside then comes back to the door. My husband P's outside too, outside the rim of the toilet.....still working on house breaking him ....
ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grew up in a houseful of girls (6 kids and 5 of them were girls), so it was a culture shock when I realized that the water on the floor by the toilet was NOT a leak that needed a plumber! 
I still cant' figure out why men feel the need to pee on the floor and why it's ok for me to walk in there in my socks and get my socks wet because THEY can't hit this big open hole target!! They can write their name in the snow, but they can't hit a big giant open target where gravity does most of the work!
....only have one in the house, maltese, he P's outside then comes back to the door. My husband P's outside too, outside the rim of the toilet.....still working on house breaking him ....
ROTFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I grew up in a houseful of girls (6 kids and 5 of them were girls), so it was a culture shock when I realized that the water on the floor by the toilet was NOT a leak that needed a plumber!
I still cant' figure out why men feel the need to pee on the floor and why it's ok for me to walk in there in my socks and get my socks wet because THEY can't hit this big open hole target!! They can write their name in the snow, but they can't hit a big giant open target where gravity does most of the work!
Ok this conversations going to take a turn so I'm jumping on the train early on...
I keep ALL old retired toothbrushes for cleaning smally spaces and such. My 7 year old son can't hit the broadside of a barn let along the water in the tank of the toilet.
I am fed up and tired of smelling pee when I want to relax in a hot bath.
The other day I marched him in there and go one of his old toothbrushes and told him to start scrubbing. He thought it was his current one and was sobbing thinking he had to use it afterwards. I realized this was the issue but was so fed up that I didn't let him in on the truth (I know BAD move but I've had it.)
So after getting it all scrubbed clean around the floor where the toilet meets it and getting all the pee smell out I then showed him it wasn't his current one but one of the old icky ones I clean with. He felt better but was still pretty irked that he had to scrub the floor down.
Oddly enough though he's had great aim the last two days.
And for the record... I moved my toothbrush and toothpaste back into my bathroom. He's a smart kid and I wasn't taking any chances on him doing something to mine out of spite.
Glad you are working things out. When my husband and I were first married, we would go to his parents house for Sunday dinner and his mother would serve his father's plate to him at his chair, his sister did the same thing with her husband. My husband looked at me and asked where his plate was and I said in the kitchen next to the food. I told him he was going to be really skinny if he was expecting me to bring his dinner to him. Both his mother and sister laughed and said they were glad I was training him instead of him training me. Now, in my house, I do not pick up clothes off the floor, I take that back, if I pick up clothes off the floor, they are put in the trash. After my husband could not find a few of his shirts, he got the message. We do compromise of some things, if I cook a meal, then he puts the food away. As far as his going to a separate room to do whatever he wants, needs to be addressed. Your children are learning from his actions and will start treating you the same way. Explain this to him and tell him that you deserve respect and your children deserve a father who is involved in their lives. I have been known to go on strike for three weeks to get my point across about cleaning or cooking meals. When we both work full time jobs, we both work at cleaning and cooking or he can hire someone else to do it. I once told him that if he wants someone to treat him like his mother does, than he could go back and live with her. He got the message.
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