Am I Being Difficult?

Decorating By cfloyd Updated 25 Jul 2008 , 7:51pm by costumeczar

cfloyd Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 2:54am
post #1 of 50

Okay, I have a question for you. I am a beginner. I am currently taking Wilton Course 3 and love it. I make 1 or 2 practice cakes every weekend. I take some of the cakes to my parents and some to work. My problem is this, my husband refuses to take cake to share with his co-workers. Granted, he is kind of high up in the company. He says he does not feel that it looks right for him to be carrying in a cake. I say who doesn't like cake. He says that he will not be my cake pimp. I am not trying to sell the cakes, just trying to get rid of them so that I don't eat them. I figure he could be the really nice boss that brings in a cake every week. He refuses and we fight about it just about every week. I know my cakes aren't perfect yet, but I do think that they taste pretty good. What do you think? Am I just being difficult? icon_mad.gif

49 replies
BlakesCakes Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:23am
post #2 of 50

I'll be honest, I see both points and I think he holds the trump card. He really does have the right to decide what his "image" is at work. If he's uncomfortable with bringing in the cakes, I'd just drop it. It doesn't sound as if he's ashamed of your creations, just that he doesn't want to be know as the "cake guy" vs. "the boss". Really, that's OK.

If you can accept that these are just the cost of needing practice, chuck 'em out! No one says that you have to get fat in order to be a good decorator.

On the other hand, you could take them to (a) church on Sunday, freeze them (if they're buttercream) and serve them when you need one in a hurry, find a nursing home or hospital nearby where the staff might enjoy them, take them to the local fire or police department, etc.

Another option is to buy some styrofoam dummies and only practice decorating. Clean it off and do it again.

Just my honest .02
Rae

Texas_Rose Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:28am
post #3 of 50

Take your practice cakes to the fire station, and enjoy the eye candy while you're there icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif

twooten173 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:31am
post #4 of 50

I to see both points. I think it would probably be best to give them to other people.

I drop my practice stuff of at the two local libraries. One in a under privileged area and they are always greatful to get stuff for the kids (and themselves icon_smile.gif) The other is the library that always waives my fines tapedshut.gif .

See it's a win win situation.

mlharvell Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:32am
post #5 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Take your practice cakes to the fire station, and enjoy the eye candy while you're there icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif




Ha ha!! I agree! icon_smile.gif

chefjulie Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:33am
post #6 of 50

Oh, Texas_Rose, I think you just got me into trouble!!!! Im about to start "practicing" a whole lot. Hubby is in Iraq right now and I sooooo need some "eye candy"icon_biggrin.gif

janelwaters Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:34am
post #7 of 50

GIRL! I feel your pain!! I can't get my husband to take any of my baking into his work - and he's just an employee, not the boss! I thought it was just me!

I like the other suggestion of taking them to the fire department - our house actually caught on fire last year and I cannot tell you how nice those fire fighters were - plus it takes a special kind of crazy to run into a burning building to save someone else's stuff!

Anyway...just wanted to let you know you are not alone in the hubby dept.

2txmedics Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:35am
post #8 of 50

Ok, Im a Medic, and I had this problem at class with other women who took the course...being a medic, heck we never get a chance to eat, and if we do ..its in a hurry....take the cakes to your local fire dept, or EMS station, hospital...we will eat them.

Lucky for me, Im a medic and so is honey...so I sent the cakes with honey...and everyone ate them up...and asked for more, even when I was no longer in class ...they wanted cake!!!! lol

Donate to a soup kitchen also...you name it...donate it....

bobwonderbuns Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:37am
post #9 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Take your practice cakes to the fire station, and enjoy the eye candy while you're there icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif




Amen Sista!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

kaytec Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:39am
post #10 of 50

cfloyd -

I'm in a very similar situation. Class three practicing at home and my husband said sure I will take them to work. He said he would leave them in the break room and they would be eaten all up.
So I made 4 batched of cupcakes one weekend and he said he would take them to work. After three days i finally took them to my job. And he told my daughter it was too much to carry with his lunch.
I felt so insulted but it is what it is....so now I take it all to my work and if it goes to wasted then oh well. Try not to take it personal, its not you, men are just different then us.

gateaux Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:40am
post #11 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

I'll be honest, I see both points and I think he holds the trump card. It doesn't sound as if he's ashamed of your creations, just that he doesn't want to be know as the "cake guy" vs. "the boss". Really, that's OK.

On the other hand, you could take them to (a) church on Sunday, freeze them (if they're buttercream) and serve them when you need one in a hurry, find a nursing home or hospital nearby where the staff might enjoy them, take them to the local fire or police department, etc.

Another option is to buy some styrofoam dummies and only practice decorating. Clean it off and do it again.

Just my honest .02
Rae




I agree, I would make some call and find out who would be happy to receive some free cakes for a while and see where you could take them.

Some police and fire dept. will take them and others will not. So just inquire before you just drop by.

Also getting a dummy cake or 2 might be a really good idea too. Different shapes and what not.

All the best to you. Maybe you DH will agree to bring in 1 cake for a special occasion or pot luck at the office.

Good Luck.

JulieB Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:40am
post #12 of 50

Yeah, I would definitely drop it with hubby. Just take the cakes elsewhere.

kaytec Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:41am
post #13 of 50

cfloyd -

I'm in a very similar situation. Class three practicing at home and my husband said sure I will take them to work. He said he would leave them in the break room and they would be eaten all up.
So I made 4 batched of cupcakes one weekend and he said he would take them to work. After three days i finally took them to my job. And he told my daughter it was too much to carry with his lunch.
I felt so insulted but it is what it is....so now I take it all to my work and if it goes to wasted then oh well. Try not to take it personal, its not you, men are just different then us.

gabbenmom Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:53am
post #14 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Take your practice cakes to the fire station, and enjoy the eye candy while you're there icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif




You go Texas Rose!!! Now my face will turn bright red about the time I pull into the fire station thinking about this thread and the eye candy...although I am not married!

I would have to go with the others, if he won't take them don't make him. Tell him you are busy taking cakes to the fire dept. and he will have to drop off his own dry cleaning icon_wink.gif .

My dad and his co workers all bring in food to share. He even takes my cake scraps to the guys. One of the wives sends hers, so now my dad takes mine.

Bohnlo Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:01am
post #15 of 50

I had to laugh when I read this post (no insult intended) I work at an airport for an airline and I have been taking my cakes and cupcakes in every Wednesday. Now, they have become sooo spoiled that they clear a space for goodies every Wednesday! Heaven forbid I was too busy to bake for them one week. If you live in WI PLEASE take food to the airport, we never get a chance to eat, so when I do bring in goodies they are gone within the hour. Then they ask what am I bringing next week, and even make suggestions on what they would like. Maybe its a good thing hubby won't take food, I can't find a way too stop!!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

ugetsnun2 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:10am
post #16 of 50

My husband did the same thing to me when my daughter was selling Girl Scout cookies. Children are always selling something and I ALWAYS take order forms to work. I'm starting to feel like I'm pimping them. So I asked him to take the form....it never made it.
I asked him about it and he just said they already had cookies in the breakroom so nobody would buy them.....
Men just think differently.

Hawkette Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:22am
post #17 of 50

There are so many great places to donate food where your work will be very appreciated. Nursing homes are an awesome place! We love to take leftover centerpieces from fancy parties there, too. If you just have a small amount, ask at the front desk who doesn't get many visitors. You can drop it off, but if you stay and chat while they eat the cake, you'll both enjoy the experience even more. Firestations and soup kitchens are great, too. I like to package up a few pieces on a plate and use it as an excuse to meet neighbors down the street. Everyone loves free cake!

milissasmom Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:42am
post #18 of 50

You are not being difficult...you are frustrated. I understand. Just find another place to take them...Trust me, there are plenty of places that would love them!

Chokogal Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:54am
post #19 of 50

I agree with seeing it both ways. I get where your husband is coming from and I agree with "BlakesCakes", its not like he's ashamed of your creations. That's a good thing. Donating the cakes are a great idea tho. My BF is willing to bring all of my extra stuff in to work bc he just wants to share what he enjoys (and kind of flaunt my talent icon_wink.gif As long as you have his support, that's all that matters.

HipnotiqGlamour Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:57am
post #20 of 50

First of all my dear your cakes are beautiful!! I dont think your being a pain by asking him to take cake in. Heck I know men that would kill to be told to take something to work, especially cake haha.

Try Neighbors, teachers, ,co-workers, mailman, anyone you can think of that you make daily contact with. Im sure they would love it.


As far as your husband is concerned, consider it his loss. Maybe its a male thing maybe he doesnt want to look to soft haha I dunno

Keep up the good work though! thumbs_up.gif

oceanspitfire Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 5:18am
post #21 of 50

I have a question on that note actually. At some point you run out of family members to practice on that often or you just want different 'guinea pigs' because at some point the compliments from family members dont mean anything anymore because they're biased (and in my case totally blind lol, I mean how much more blue in the face do I have to get arguing that I'm NOT being hard on myself, I'm NOT good enough to start charging- so I need different more honest feedback lol). And I have so much practicing to do before I ever get to where I can contemplate hanging out a sign. So the thing is, once you've been donating all these practice cakes all over town how do you make people start wanting to pay for them, when they've been happy and used to getting them for free? I don't mean soup kitchens, nursing homes etc obviously, but places like libraries and fire stations and medics and airports? These people are presumably potential customers? So what's the secret? Or technique? You know, if it takes me 10 years to get good enough to sell, I'll have given away freebies to everyone in town by then and why would they want to start paying? lol I'd have to move to another town thumbsdown.gif

Anyway, on that other note, I agree with Rae. that both sides are understandable- but some places are just not appropriate or whatever, it is nothing personal. And as she said, and everyone else said, there are lots of other places to give away to.

Carolynlovescake Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 5:26am
post #22 of 50

LOL - My husband's co-workers give me suggestions for future cake flavors just for a variety since he takes so many in.

I do understand though about hubby and the image thing due to him being a boss. Don't let it bother you.

Hospitals
Fire Departments
Police Stations
911 call centers
Sanitation Departments
Gas Station Attendants
Senior Centers
VA Hospitals

The list could go on and on... any and all of them would love a just because cake.

kimmypooh79 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 6:01am
post #23 of 50

I can see his side that he wants to be the boss and not the cool guy that brings in cakes (stupid as it may seem to us). i can also see your side and I think you keep asking b/c you can't understand why he won't take your cakes in and b/c you want to get rid of them....I would do the same thing. I'd be like, "Why won't you just take the cake in. i don't understand what the big deal is. Are you embarrassed of my cakes?" I believe his answer is truthful but nothing personal against your cakes. He's a man.....need we say more?

Housemouse Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 7:53am
post #24 of 50

I think your newbie enthusiasm for the wonder of cake is blinkering you -redirect your energy. Enjoy making your cakes and take them to some of the other places previous posters have mentioned, where they would be more than welcome.

Your husband is not being unreasonable but having the same argument every week does seem to me to be a waste of your energy.

Housemouse Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 7:54am
post #25 of 50

duplicated post

cfloyd Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 11:16am
post #26 of 50

Thanks so much for all of your feedback. You are all right. This is just not a fight worth having every week. Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone outside the situation. I will just keep on practicing and take them to some of the places you guys recommended. Thanks again!!!

BlueDevil Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 11:40am
post #27 of 50

Ladies,

I am a civilian executive with the Army and run a large research group. I bring in cakes ALL OF THE TIME, including to some of the senior military folks...our 2-star general loves them!

EVERYBODY LIKES CAKE. icon_biggrin.gif

Tell the boys to get over it. I decorate the cakes myself, and I have never heard a peep of complaint. In fact, I get requests for special events all of the time. I promise it will not undermine their authority to provide cake from his wife!

indydebi Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 11:43am
post #28 of 50

Amen on the fire station eye candy thing! icon_biggrin.gif

If hubby doens't want to take cake in, then of course you cant make him, but in my ever so never humble opinion, he's being an a$$. Sounds like he finds it demeaning for "the boss" to walk in carrying a pretty pink cake box. What a shame .... he's missing the opportunity to connect with his staff on a personal level and be "one of the gang" .... he's missing the chance to develop the relationships that make a great comraderie and team building opportunity.

Hubby and I have been in corporate america management for years. Your hubby may be a good "boss" ... but he's a bad "manager".

So send your cakes where they'll be appreciated. Being the type of person I am, icon_twisted.gif , when your cakes started to be "in demand" and hubby suddenly wants to show off your talent, I'd remind him "....you were too good to take 'em in then .... you're not getting one now."

But that's just me! icon_rolleyes.gificon_twisted.gificon_biggrin.gif

tiggy2 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 4:15pm
post #29 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Amen on the fire station eye candy thing! icon_biggrin.gif

If hubby doens't want to take cake in, then of course you cant make him, but in my ever so never humble opinion, he's being an a$$. Sounds like he finds it demeaning for "the boss" to walk in carrying a pretty pink cake box. What a shame .... he's missing the opportunity to connect with his staff on a personal level and be "one of the gang" .... he's missing the chance to develop the relationships that make a great comraderie and team building opportunity.

Hubby and I have been in corporate america management for years. Your hubby may be a good "boss" ... but he's a bad "manager".

So send your cakes where they'll be appreciated. Being the type of person I am, icon_twisted.gif , when your cakes started to be "in demand" and hubby suddenly wants to show off your talent, I'd remind him "....you were too good to take 'em in then .... you're not getting one now."

But that's just me! icon_rolleyes.gificon_twisted.gificon_biggrin.gif



Exactly what indydebi said thumbs_up.gif

Bettycrockermommy Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 5:01pm
post #30 of 50
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Amen on the fire station eye candy thing! icon_biggrin.gif

If hubby doens't want to take cake in, then of course you cant make him, but in my ever so never humble opinion, he's being an a$$. Sounds like he finds it demeaning for "the boss" to walk in carrying a pretty pink cake box. What a shame .... he's missing the opportunity to connect with his staff on a personal level and be "one of the gang" .... he's missing the chance to develop the relationships that make a great comraderie and team building opportunity.

Hubby and I have been in corporate america management for years. Your hubby may be a good "boss" ... but he's a bad "manager".

So send your cakes where they'll be appreciated. Being the type of person I am, icon_twisted.gif , when your cakes started to be "in demand" and hubby suddenly wants to show off your talent, I'd remind him "....you were too good to take 'em in then .... you're not getting one now."

But that's just me! icon_rolleyes.gificon_twisted.gificon_biggrin.gif




Amen to that!!!

My DH is a supervisor in a very important position within the city, and he never has had a problem bringing a cake to work for me. He isn't always the most supportive at home about the time involved, but he has never refused to promote my work. Go figure, icon_lol.gif

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