Is This Reason Enough To Quit? Please Help.

Lounge By SweetAsLemmons Updated 25 Jul 2008 , 12:53am by maryak

SweetAsLemmons Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 8:58am
post #1 of 14

After so many years, I land my dream job. The pay is great, the hours flexible. There's just one problem; I have very bad chemistry with my boss. It is very difficult to communicate because he is a "thinks-he-knows-it-all" type of person whom is never wrong. I have been humiliated, scolded and belittled there. Honestly, the more I deal with it, the more I want to drop this charade and stard my own business.

Point being, he makes me feel like I am not worth what he pays me and sometimes, I think he regrets hiring me. I know I am a good worker.
I am trying to be a team player and to do the best job I can, but its very hard for me to give a damn when I work for such a jerk. If I do something right, it goes unacknowledged, if I screw up he makes me feel like the biggest idiot there and I get chewed out for days. He says he wants to create team of hardworking, loyal employees but from what I see, no one is going to want to stick around long enough to deal with it. His turnover rate is surprisingly high.

I am just really stuck, and dont know what to do. Like I said, the pay is great, and is really helping keep my family supported during these difficult times, but I dont know how much more I can take. I dread going to work and dealing with the same bull***t day in and day out. I think to myself " I dont need this crap or any job that makes me feel bad about myself" but am I being extreme?

Who has gone through this? What would you do?
Thank you so much

13 replies
chutzpah Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 9:02am
post #2 of 14

He's just a bully. Have you ever stood up for yourself? Said to him, "It is NOT acceptable for you to talk to me like that."

Push back.

Talk to HIS boss about it. Chances are, he does this to everyone.

peg818 Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 9:11am
post #3 of 14

My thoughts are if you need the added income as you state you do. Suck it up and start looking for something different, lets face it, this is only a dream job as long as you are enjoying yourself more then your not.

Remember though every job has jerks you have to deal with and you do need to stick up for yourself, which is really tough when the big jerk is also the one who is signing the paycheck.

In a nut shell, my advice is to hang on until you find something else.

Good Luck to you.

Texas_Rose Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 10:36am
post #4 of 14

If he owns the business, you'll have to put up with him or look for a different job. If he's just a supervisor or manager, you can talk to whoever's above him.

Since he's such a terrible guy, he will have a reputation in your industry in your don't worry so much about what kind of reference he'll give you.

I had a really bad boss once. He was the owner of the company and he was just terrible. I think he didn't want anyone as smart as me working for him...but he hired me because I knew a lot of his customers from another place and they all trusted me. I told him about how another employee was stealing from him, and I had proof going back more than a year, and he told me that, since he used to be a police officer (he didn't, he was a volunteer helicopter pilot for the sheriff's department, I asked around), he was already aware of the problem. Of course, he didn't do anything to stop it. He would triple a price on something that someone had already prepaid for and then expect us to collect the difference when they picked up their order. He would call and scream at us whenever he was in a bad mood. He made inappropriate remarks about how much toilet paper we used, and didn't understand why I couldn't work 14 hours a day with no lunch break during my high-risk pregnancy. The day I went into the hospital to have my premature baby, he called and fired me for not giving him any notice.

I heard later that he had colon cancer, an occupational hazard in his line of work (not mine, I didn't work with the chemicals). I never thought I'd be happy to hear someone had cancer, but really, there could not have been anything more appropriate for him.

chutzpah Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 11:48am
post #5 of 14

What goes around comes around.

michellenj Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 1:13pm
post #6 of 14

I used to have a really mean boss, and when I finally stood up to him, he became Mr. Pussycat and started picking on someone else.

blueskies Posted 22 Jul 2008 , 8:47pm
post #7 of 14

Have you tried talking to him about your concerns? If you are going to quit anyway, you have nothing to lose. You could very delicately explain to him that you don't feel valued and ask him if you've done anything to cause it and what you can do to change. You have to put it out there like you want to improve to be a better employee while hoping that he will get the message. If you put it on him (as if he's done something wrong, even though we know its him) he'll probably just get defensive and get more annoyed. But, I have been in HR for 15 years and have seen it happen where the manager had no idea that they were making the employee so unhappy and once aware, took steps to improve. It may not work but like I said, you have nothing to lose IF you are going to quit anyway. In my opinion, life is too short for a crappy boss! Good luck!!!

alracntna Posted 22 Jul 2008 , 10:38pm
post #8 of 14

i say stand up for yourself. no where does it say just because he is your boss that he can treat you like crap. i would not even wait for the next time. i would ask him if you could speak to him in his office and then when you get in there tell him that you are good at your job and you demand the respect you deserve. go on to tell him the things he has done and said that have made you feel little and then tell him if it does not stop you will go over his head. take precautions so that he doesn't go to his boss and say you were rude and deserve to be fired. maybe have someone in there who is trustworthy.

Tramski Posted 22 Jul 2008 , 11:19pm
post #9 of 14

I know exactly how you feel. The owner of my company is so rude and obnoxious it is sickening. What makes it worse is my manager who has been with the company won't even stand up for me.

I was screamed at for 3 hours during a meeting with 6 other people, including my manager. It was all over a report that my manager had me write and she said it was perfect, when he didn't like it he blew up.

I wound up crying at work that day, which is something I never do, and all my manager could say was "wow he really was mad".

To say the least I have a job interview tomorrow, I had to put up with them for a lot longer than I wanted to, but hopefully a change is coming.

Keep faith, keep looking, when the right opportunity comes it will feel great. Big hugs to help keep you going.

snowshoe1 Posted 23 Jul 2008 , 5:43pm
post #10 of 14

Amen to what blueskies says. This is a non-confrontational approach and if he has any sense, it will wake him up. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Aliwis000 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 5:01pm
post #11 of 14

Jerks are everywhere, yesterday I was laughed at on the phone, I answered a ladies question and she thought it was the funniest most entertaining thing in the world. I asked "Is something funny?" In a hard voice she kept on. I almost hung up, and this was a customer not a boss. Like I said jerks are everywhere but when being employeed you cannot be belittled or feel you are working in a hostile environment. Those are both against the law and you do not have to put up with it!

Good luck in whatever you choose to do and let us know!!


Pookie59 Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 8:57pm
post #12 of 14

I think everyone has been through this at some point. I used to work for a total jerk, much like your boss. He was such a selfish person that he got mad that I came in late due to a doctor appointment - we had a meeting with the HR lady the next day to talk about what a rotten, incompetent employee I was. I took the attitude "you'll have to fire me because I'm not going to quit". Basically I grit my teeth and stuck it out. Eventually I was "downsized" out of that department but allowed to stay on as a kind of in-house temp to cover for other secretaries when they were out. Long story short, after doing that for awhile I was offered several permanent positions by others who realized my talent and potential. The old jerk I used to work for has gone through several other secretaries since then.

maryak Posted 25 Jul 2008 , 12:50am
post #13 of 14

I just got out of a VERY similar scenario 6 weeks ago. I had a boss who wouldn't listen to reason and made unrealistic demands then if his management pulled him up on it he would play dumb and say he had nothing to do with it. He would also throw chairs towards people, punch the wall, scream at the top of his lungs to the point where everyone in the office would think it was a joke (yes that's how loud he would scream) only to realise he was deadly serious. I would go to work and home feeling like s&%t every single day and would actually feel broken inside.

I finally got the courage to leave after he told me and one of my employees off because of a sexuality explicit and racist set of photos sent out by one of my other employees after I had disciplined the employee in question.

I feel like a weight was lifted off my chest and am now working at another job which doesn't pay as much but I think the pay reduction is worth my health. I ended up having a bad case of skin and hair problems at that job which have all disappeared almost as soon as I walked out the door.

I wish you all the best with your decision and believe me it takes strength to leave a job that has is good financially but I wouldn't trade my decision for the world. My kids even notice a difference in my attitude and comment as to how much I am smiling now. That job not only affected me but everyone around me and I had no idea.

Good luck

maryak Posted 25 Jul 2008 , 12:53am
post #14 of 14

Oh and another thing, since I've left he's tried to replace me but had people leave because they just can't do the job and the whole administration side is crumbling. Talk about karma!! thumbs_up.gif

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