They Invited Me To The Wedding, Should I Go?

Business By ShopGrl1128 Updated 24 Jul 2008 , 3:34am by melodyscakes

ShopGrl1128 Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 5:46pm
post #1 of 14

Hi CCers:
I was hired to do a cake for a very nice couple some time ago, I never met them before but they seem very nice.
Now I have a dilemna because two weeks before the wedding I received an invitation on the mail for me and a guest.
I'm not sure what is the protocol on whether I should attend.

Did I mention they are good friends with the venue owner and they have told me they asked the owner to refer business to me?

I know it could be great for my business but I'm not sure if it would be unprofessional to attend.

TIA,

13 replies
tiptop57 Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 6:56pm
post #2 of 14

I personally would not, as you might end up "working" the wedding (i.e. cutting, plating and serving the cake) for free. And since you do not know them anyway I don't think it is appropriate especially since I have never seen the organist, singer(s), or caterers ever attend a "clients" wedding.

Lesia Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 7:06pm
post #3 of 14

I've been invited to weddings in the past, but always politely begged out by telling them I would be EXHAUSTED after the cake delivery (which was always the TRUTH!) and they always seemed to understand. icon_wink.gif

minorfan Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 7:15pm
post #4 of 14

NO - rsvp that you will not be able to attend. Send a nice card (no gift) wishing them all the best etc.

They are in love and in there own fantasy wedding world at this point. You would not know anyone at the wedding and it ends up uncomfortable when everyone is asking which side you are on, who you are etc.

If you feel this is something you are agonizing over then send a little mini cake/ petifour / cake balls plate to the bride and bridesmaids 3 hours before the wedding or the day before. Great for business and keeps you out of there.

You dont have to give a reason for not going but you do need to rsvp and let them know you are not going.

ASimpleBaker Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 7:15pm
post #5 of 14

Perhaps they extended the invitation as a courtesy, not really expecting you to actually attend. When my sister was getting married several years ago the wedding planner suggested they invite a couple of the vendors affiliated with the hall. My sister politly refused the suggestion, but maybe this is where it came from?

Just a thought~~ icon_biggrin.gif

~~grin~~

loriemoms Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 9:05pm
post #6 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASimpleBaker

Perhaps they extended the invitation as a courtesy, not really expecting you to actually attend. When my sister was getting married several years ago the wedding planner suggested they invite a couple of the vendors affiliated with the hall. My sister politly refused the suggestion, but maybe this is where it came from?

Just a thought~~ icon_biggrin.gif

~~grin~~




I agree with this, I have gotten invites in the past as well, one of the brides sent me her payment in a wedding invite! haha!

I would politely turn it down and send a card and wish them the best.

Petit-four Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 5:18pm
post #7 of 14

I don't know the customs in your area, but in my area (upstate NY), couples often provide dinner for the band, photographer, and others hired to do the event.

It may be they thought you'd like a dinner as well, or, as you mentioned, they are trying to be extra-gracious.

A simple card with a note that you enjoyed working with them (or, perhaps a nice photo sent to them later of how the hall looked before everyone got there) might be a nice "gift" in response to the offer of dinner. icon_smile.gif

ShopGrl1128 Posted 21 Jul 2008 , 5:29pm
post #8 of 14

Thank you guys.
I decided not to go and I will send them a nice thank you card later.

MichelleM77 Posted 22 Jul 2008 , 7:44pm
post #9 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petit-four

I don't know the customs in your area, but in my area (upstate NY), couples often provide dinner for the band, photographer, and others hired to do the event.

It may be they thought you'd like a dinner as well, or, as you mentioned, they are trying to be extra-gracious.





I had to provide dinner for the photographer (actually two photographers and their assistant; it was in their contract). The DJ also got dinner, though I extended that offer to him as a courtesy. I also invited our Pastor and his wife (not our pastor, but the one who married us) because I thought it was the least I could do was give him a nice dinner in return for his services, though we did have to make a donation to the church.

I personally wouldn't go, but I thought it was nice that I provide dinner for others. Funny how I want to do for others, but not want to partake in myself. icon_rolleyes.gif

southerncake Posted 22 Jul 2008 , 7:53pm
post #10 of 14

I have been invited to several clients' weddings, but have never attended. I also have had several call after the fact and ask why I didn't stay for the reception - that was quite odd to me!!

ccr03 Posted 23 Jul 2008 , 2:48pm
post #11 of 14

I volunteer at my church as the quinceanera coordinator and the families nearly ALWAYS invite me - either w/an invite beforehand or on the day of. I know that with some of them it's a simple courtesy, because that's how it is around here.

I don't think I've ever gone to one.

LNW Posted 23 Jul 2008 , 3:41pm
post #12 of 14

After I was done setting up a wedding cake and the bride and groom stopped gushing over it they both insisted I stay. I was in jeans and a t-shirt with icing all over the front but they pleaded with me to stay (MOTB was not happy with me being there dressed like that, she was just as surprised they begged me to stay as I was). I had told them at our tasting that I didnât cut cakes unless I was paid to do it so they never asked me to help cut cake and serve it. I just kind of stayed in the background and out of the way. They did at one point announce to everyone I was the one who had made their cake, which was supper embarrassing. If Iâd had it to do all over again I would have come up with a better excuse to leave then my dirty clothes.

fabfour Posted 23 Jul 2008 , 8:18pm
post #13 of 14

I am always at the reception ( I don't leave the cake to go to the wedding) part of the package is for me to be there and "work", I cut the cake, and provide many other things. I also get a card and a small gift such as a candle or something. It may only come from Dollar General but I've gotten positive feedback from others the couple has talked to.

Missy

melodyscakes Posted 24 Jul 2008 , 3:34am
post #14 of 14

I'd think briefly about going, heck weddings are cool.
but really I'd be so tired after Sat. deliveries that I wouldn't want to get changed and look presentable.

although, what a gester..they must really like your cake.
I once got a birth announcement from a bride and groom. thought that was a bit strange, but was honored they thought enough about me to send me one.

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