Would This Make You Mad?? What Would You Do?

Decorating By MissRobin Updated 19 Jul 2008 , 12:41pm by ElectricCook

MissRobin Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:44pm
post #1 of 33

Ok, so besides decorating cakes, my day job is daycare, I have been a daycare provider for 20 plus years, I know I'm crazy!Ha! Anyway, all of my clients know I decorate cakes and they all have me do cakes for their children/families etc. However, I have this one mom who is what you would call a "tight wod" and she called last night and ask me if she could borrow a round cake pan to make her son's bday cake!!!! This is not the first time she has done this, and me being the nice person I am, let her use it the first time, but honestly, it is starting to p**S me off!!! She is also always looking for a bargain on daycare, I have had her oldest son since he was born, he is now 4, and I have her youngest, had him since birth and he is 9 months, I really don't want to make her mad but, why doesn't she ask me to make the cake and if she is so "tight" to pay me, then, maybe she should invest in cake pans. Just needed to vent, I really don't know what to do!!! Thanks for listening!!!

32 replies
fluttercakes Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:51pm
post #2 of 33

I would be mad, too! I paid quite a nice sum to get really great quality pans, and they are mine to use ALONE! MINE icon_lol.gif! If she has done this more than once, she obviously needs to get a clue and BUY HER OWN PANS!!! Yeesh, it's not like to can't just run to the grocery store for a simple pan or if she wants the great quality, then she needs to invest in the good stuff...then maybe she'll see that this stuff isn't cheap!

Trixyinaz Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:52pm
post #3 of 33

I would tell her that you can't lend them out because you will be using them for a cake that you need to make. But that the local grocery store or Michael's carries them and she can pick them up for $XX.XX.

That should shut her up and if she asks in the future...give her the same line.

smoore Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:52pm
post #4 of 33

"Sorry, I'll be needing the pans myself. You can buy your own set at _____ for about $$$$." Or, refer her to a cake supply shop that does pan rentals.

MikeRowesHunny Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:54pm
post #5 of 33

If you let people take advantage of you, they will just keep on doing it. Personally I would tell her that if she plans on making her own kids' cakes, that now she has a second child it would be a great time to invest in her own pans. Afterall, they are only a few bucks for the Wilton ones, right? I say stand firm and say, sorry, but no!

imagine76 Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:54pm
post #6 of 33

some people have no tact. she must not know that she's being rude (duh). i think you need those pans that day don't you? however, they sell wilton pans at wal-mart or you could maybe get a coupon for michael's or hobby lobby.

you certainly have a right to be annoyed. what a ding bat.

Aliwis000 Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:54pm
post #7 of 33

Tell her you are so sorry but that pan is in use at the requested time. Then send her off to Michaels with a 40% coupon. I have learned there are people who will screw you untill you tell them to stop, I guess they figure until you say no you deserved to be walked over.

Aliwis000 Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:55pm
post #8 of 33

Tell her you are so sorry but that pan is in use at the requested time. Then send her off to Michaels with a 40% coupon. I have learned there are people who will screw you untill you tell them to stop, I guess they figure until you say no you deserved to be walked over.

Trixyinaz Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:56pm
post #9 of 33

I also wanted to add that I wouldn't be upset if she didn't order the cake through me b/c before I got into this seriously, I loved making my daughter's birthday cake and didn't want anyone else to make it. I think it is just RUDE that she keeps asking to borrow your pans.

MissRobin Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 1:59pm
post #10 of 33

Thanks for the encouragement, I am glad to know you all agree with me!! She just really "bugs" me sometimes, she is always looking for a bargain, especially with daycare! I love her kids, but enough is enough!!!!

angel951747 Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:08pm
post #11 of 33

It would tempt me to tell her that I need the pans but it is best to be honest, just be as kind as possible with your words. It would annoy me personally and I'd probably say, "It may be time for you to invest in some cake pans the way you have been baking," (but in a nice way...I understand that losing her would cost you money). Then let her know that she can get pans from Walmart for about $5. Or buy her a cheap pan for Christmas, her birthday or some occassion

kansaslaura Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:11pm
post #12 of 33

Quality daycare is hard to find--YOU have the upper hand here.

A mechanic would not loan his tools to some ya-hoo do to his own repairs--nor a barber his clippers! It's rude and inconsiderate of her to even ask! The next time would be a polite but firm, no. No explanation needed.

I'd be interested in knowing what her job is and if she'd loan out the very thing that makes her money.

It's picking away at you, and that my dear Miss Robin is a dear price to pay. I at one time felt like I had a whole flock of birds pecking at me and you know why?? Because they knew everytime they did I'd feed them!!

I finally realized that a true friend would take no offense if I had enough self respect to say no--I lost no friends and gained respect!

You owe this to YOU!

{{{{{{encouraging understand hug!}}}}}}}

Mike1394 Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:13pm
post #13 of 33

It's like the next door neighbor that constantly borrows your hedge trimmers. DUDE eventually ya have to buy some.

Is there a cake supply close, to where can rent some?

Mike

CocoaBlondie Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:14pm
post #14 of 33

I agree with everyone else that you should indeed tell her to buy here own pans. I can see just once borrowing it but not all the time. In a way though she obviously looks up to you. She trust you with her kids & is trying to bake cakes like you are. Maybe things are a little tight in her life right now with the economy & gas prices the way they are. I'd give her a micheals coupon & tell her that buying her own cake pans would be a good investment. icon_smile.gif

zoomitoons Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:18pm
post #15 of 33

I too have a day care (8 years) and have parents asking if I will make birthday cakes for the kids etc and then get "upset" when I tell them how much it will cost. I do make a small cake for here at home for the child and we have a small party but the cake stays here, is usually a "generic" sheet cake with Happy Birthday child's name I've had a few parents say "oh, don't cut that cake today and I'll take it home for the birthday party" The first time this happen I was totally caught off guard at first but regained my composure and explained that No, this was for our party here at my house and that if they would like a cake for home I would gladly make one, just tell me how many people it's for, what you want on it and then I'll let you know how much it's going to cost. OH and no last minute orders, I need at least a weeks notice (if I'm not booked for that day) but I would prefer more notice if possible. (it's a birthday, it's not like it snuck up on you, it's the same date every year right? LOL)
I have also had parents ask if I would loan my pans to them, NOPE!!!! They are mine. I spent my money on them OR they have been handed down from my uncle and/or mom. I take extra special care of the pans I've inherited as most of them are wrought iron, very heavy, can't just be soap scrubbed or put into the dishwasher etc. I know some mom's have thought I was just being rude etc but as I explained to them, "Day Care and cakes/cookies is how I make my money to pay bills etc, if anything were to happen to my pans I would be SOL as a lot of them are non replaceable or very $$$ to replace." oh, and it's MY RIGHT!!! to say NO lol

smoore Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:19pm
post #16 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by angel951747

It would tempt me to tell her that I need the pans but it is best to be honest, just be as kind as possible with your words. It would annoy me personally and I'd probably say, "It may be time for you to invest in some cake pans the way you have been baking," (but in a nice way...I understand that losing her would cost you money). Then let her know that she can get pans from Walmart for about $5. Or buy her a cheap pan for Christmas, her birthday or some occassion




I said I'll be needing them myself ... that's not the same as using them. I need to ensure my pans are in my kitchen when I need/want them and I need to make sure they're not getting banged around/dented, I also need to make sure I'm not hunting them down when something unexpected comes up, etc.... I can't tell you how many times I wasn't planning on doing baking a particular night, but something else got cancelled (especially during summer swim team season) and I was able to catch up on my baking because my pans are always there waiting for me. icon_smile.gif I agree, though ... It's time she invested in her own pans - cheap or good doesn't matter if she's only doing 2 cakes a year. If she doesn't want to purchase, if she realizes that there are places to rent them and she see's how much that is, she may be more inclined to purchase some for herself.

BrandisBaked Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:33pm
post #17 of 33

I know that when I was working and paying for child care, I was always broke. Granted, I had 5 kids who needed childcare - I was working just to pay the sitter. Makes perfect sense, eh? LOL!

So perhaps she's not a "tightwad", but she simply can't afford it? I was always looking for ways to save money when mine were little too... diapers and formula are EXPENSIVE! And appearances are very important to many people so even if she's broke, you might never know it.

beachcakes Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:33pm
post #18 of 33

I agree - she can buy a set of Wilton pans for under $10!

My SIL tried that with me. She doesn't even bake - it was for a friend of hers!! And for some reason, people are under the impression that I have all these shaped/character pans! ??!!

I don't lend out anything anymore. I lent a brand new crockpot to a coworker for a party with the strict intructions not to use metal utensils in it (it was nonstick) - gues what? It came back all scratched and I had to throw it out.

beachcakes Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:33pm
post #19 of 33

I agree - she can buy a set of Wilton pans for under $10!

My SIL tried that with me. She doesn't even bake - it was for a friend of hers!! And for some reason, people are under the impression that I have all these shaped/character pans! ??!!

I don't lend out anything anymore. I lent a brand new crockpot to a coworker with the strict intructions not to use metal utensils in it (it was nonstick) - gues what? It came back all scratched and I had to throw it out.

isista Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 2:34pm
post #20 of 33

Well i think some people are that trying to use you - especially if you are selling your craft or abilities from a home based business.

I totally agree with Aliwis000 , tell next time that your all pans ( to cut her from requesting the other pans) are already in use of another decorator who is making a tiered cake..

CakesbyBecca Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 3:18pm
post #21 of 33

As someone on a very tight budget, I can understand her desire to borrow your pans, especially if you've let her before. When I read your post, I honestly didn't understand what the big deal was and it wasn't until I read some of the answers about not getting the pans dented and having them on hand to do your job at a moment's notice that I finally understood where you were coming from. I know for me even $10 for a pan is more than I can afford sometimes, especially if I'm only going to use it once or twice a year. Now, I'm not saying let her borrow it, but maybe if you explained to her why you can't, she would understand and not ask you again.
Just the opinion of a fellow tightwad icon_smile.gif

Becca

MissRobin Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 3:38pm
post #22 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandisBaked

I know that when I was working and paying for child care, I was always broke. Granted, I had 5 kids who needed childcare - I was working just to pay the sitter. Makes perfect sense, eh? LOL!

So perhaps she's not a "tightwad", but she simply can't afford it? I was always looking for ways to save money when mine were little too... diapers and formula are EXPENSIVE! And appearances are very important to many people so even if she's broke, you might never know it.




Wow! I am sure your daycare expense was "huge", however, I charge her $10. per child less than everyone else! She drives a brand new Honda minivan and her husband has 3 BMW's, I am also trying to survive in these difficult times!! With that said, I have gone way above and beyond for her, as I do for all my daycare clients, and she is just the type to keep taking and taking!! Please don't get me wrong, I really appreciate how expensive daycare is, however the payscale in my area (rural) is, I'm sure, way below what you or anyone else in a bigger city pay or have paid for daycare. Sorry, I am not going to get on my soap box, but I just have some strong feelings on this subject. I will probably let her borrow my pans (wilton, not the good ones) and that will be the last time, I just have been thinking about it and I really feel like it's kind of nervey for her to even keep asking, she knows, that I do cakes and I need all the extra money I can get, I just helped pay for my daughter's wedding as well as suffering from all the economy woes!!!

fondantgrl Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 4:24pm
post #23 of 33

Just say no. You do not owe her anything. Would she get mad at you if you say no to her borrowing your cake pans ? Maybe next time just say, "well I'm gonna be using it " or "my friend borrowed it and has not returned it yet"... She will keep doing this for as long as you will let her.

wouldn't common sense tell people that if they cannot afford to have so many children , then don't have them ? It's called planning.

smoore Posted 17 Jul 2008 , 4:37pm
post #24 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by fondantgrl

Just say no. You do not owe her anything. Would she get mad at you if you say no to her borrowing your cake pans ? Maybe next time just say, "well I'm gonna be using it " or "my friend borrowed it and has not returned it yet"... She will keep doing this for as long as you will let her.

wouldn't common sense tell people that if they cannot afford to have so many children , then don't have them ? It's called planning.




If they can afford the new Honda minivan and 3 BMW's, they can afford some Wilton pans, for Pete's sake. There's a lot of people out there that have more kids, but don't have BMW's that don't take advantage of people.

hellie0h Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 11:38am
post #25 of 33

My dad always said, never a lender nor borrower be...I have stuck with his advice, saves a lot of friendships from going down the tube. I made an exception once, lent a camcorder to a very good friend...came back broken.
There is absolutely no reason to ever lie that your pans will be in use or whatever...just tell her the truth, I don't lend my pans to ANYONE. No need to further explain or make up a white lie.

Texas_Rose Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 11:55am
post #26 of 33

I noticed when I was babysitting that people seem to think that you're either an extension of their family or a servant (at least the ones I dealt with). It's hard to set boundaries. Some of us feel guilty when we say no, too...

So if a little white lie saying that you need your pans will make you feel better and make it easier to say no, then go for it!

lu9129 Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 11:58am
post #27 of 33

Go to the dollar store and buy an 8 inch pan and just give it to her. She'll think she is really getting something and you keep her kids and income. But let her know that is the 1st and last time that you would be doing this. Or just outflat tell her no. Blame someone else by saying that you never got the pan back, so you just don't loan anymore.

myslady Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 12:21pm
post #28 of 33

You could just tell her you decided not to loan out your pans anymore.

pamconn Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 12:39pm
post #29 of 33

You could tell her that she can borrow the pans with a deposit. If they come back in the same condition they left, she gets her deposit back.

aswartzw Posted 18 Jul 2008 , 12:40pm
post #30 of 33

She doesn't even need the Wilton pans. Just go to Walmart and buy the cheapest ones in the baking aisle. She can get one for $2. If she can't afford that, then she really needs some $$ management.

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