Hi, I'm a Newbie, My name is Margie, I'm from Ct, Just got a call From my Little sister 31 yrs. Told me that she has Breast Cancer, Now, What comforting words. I can give her, I feel so devastated. Knowing what she going to go through. Can someone Please, Tell me what I can say to her.
Thank you. CC Family
There is nothing you really say. Just be there for her to lean on, talk to, cry to and even possibly yell at. She will be going through a lot as well as the rest of her family which includes you. I wish you all the best and hope she recovers quickly.
It is very hard to know exactly the right thing to say...but if you let her know that you will do anything you can to help her, she will have all she needs.
I had cervical cancer since 1992, and people always seemed very awkward around me. But everyone always let me know if I needed to talk, I could - if I wanted to "ignore" it, I could....and my feelings about both would change daily!
Everyone handles it differently. Some like the support group meetings, I preferred to be alone.
You are showing how kind you are by worrying about her, and trying to find how to help her. Keep reassuring her that she can say or do anything she feels, and having that freedom with you will give her a place to go no matter what. That, in itself, is a gift you can give her.
My heart goes out to both of you, and am wishing you well.
I have no idea exactly what to say, but I come from a family with a horrible history of cancer. My mother has 6 siblings, all of whom have had cancer. My dad's parents and brother died of it.
Things to remember:
1) If it's caught early, it's highly curable. There is lots of hope.
2) Advances are made every day.
3) Take care of yourself too-- get a mammogram if you haven't yet.
Things I have observed:
1) Visit when you can and help take care of the household stuff when she has treatment.
2) If she has children, offer to keep them when you can.
3) Let any of them talk if they want to; also be willing to talk as you always have. People crave "normal".
4) Any prepared food you can take when she has treatment will be helpful. those places that let you prepare and take home whole meals frozen are great-- "A Dinner A'Fare" or "My Girlfriend's Kitchen" are two of the many.
We are thinking of you.
First, my prayers are totally with your sister. As I put my pink ribbon on in the morning, she will be on my mind along with the many other women I think of each day.
My mom is a survivor (3 years about a month ago), and she really just needed us to be "present." We didn't necessarily have a particular function and there wasn't really anything she wanted to hear, but she just wanted us all there.
I had a lumpectomy about 5 weeks ago, which luckily was benign, but it was so touchy there for a week or so. I actually got really tired of talking about it and just wanted everyone to talk about normal things for a while!
Also, remember that not all breast cancer is the same. She may be able to have a lumpectomy and radiation or a mastectomy with reconstruction and no radiation or chemo. Chemo and hair loss is not always the course that will be taken, although it is the first thing we think of.
If there is a cancer support shop near her home, encourage her to go. Mom and I went as soon as her chemo started and went ahead and picked out wigs before her hair ever came out. The same lady also shaved mom's head the day she started showing signs of hair loss. It was a really special day.
Within days of my mom being diagnosed, friends, family, and even perfect strangers started sending us beautiful pink ribbon jewelry and other pink ribbon things, and it meant so much to us. To this day, people still buy pink ribbon things for us. It makes you feel good to know that people care -- and that is really what your sister needs right now also!
I'm a breast cancer survivor- 6 months now. I just had my first mammogram since I finished treatment and I am clean- for now.
There have been many advances in the treatment of breast cancer recently and more advances are just around the corner. My advice is to sit down with the computer and start educating yourself about what breast cancer is. There is more than one kind and everyone's treatment course is somewhat different. Find out as much as you can and then be someone she can talk to about her treatment- you need to educate yourself so that you can ask relevant questions and understand what is going on. Find out what is involved in each of the treatments, she will need to have someone to whom she can actually talk without freaking them out. Don't worry if she gets teary when she talks about it that's normal. Knowing you have breast cancer is just plain scary- particularly as young as she is. Yes, it can be a killer, but it can also just be hiccup in life.
This is one of the better sites for information http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast-cancer/DS00328
Please feel free to PM me if you like.
So sorry to hear the news, I'm sure this is a hard time for your family. All you can do sometimes is pray & be there for the person in need. Let her know she is not alone. Let her know the lines of communication are always open if she needs to chat. I hope all is well & pray that she will beat this thing!
So sorry your sister has this. I will keep you all in my thoughts and I pray your sister to be well. I think these other ladies have given you excellent advice, I don't know what to add but that we are thinking about you.
I just want to say Thank You very Much for your kind words. The same as I'm told to give my Sister courage, CC Family gives me Courage, It's really hard to swallow.Coming for you, That's going or gone through It. Gives me alot more Courage. I want to say that every word it's so appreciated. Again Thank U. You have a Health & Wonderful day. You never no how it is, Until it hits home.
Margie from Ct
Hi, I was wondering. Who we need to e-mail that way, We can get a PINK RIBBION ICON. That way we can be a Supporter here too. What u Think Have a Good day.
Margie from CT
My prayers are with you and your sister. Take courage, my mother survived for more than 30 years after breast cancer. She died this year from other issues and was 90 years old. If you are a believer-my words to you are this-Trust God.
I want you to know that my prayers are with you and your family.. My aunt and a very close friend had breast cancer, they are both cancer survivors my aunt for 8yrs and my friend just hit her 2year mark... I agree just educate yourself, thats what I did and kept things as normal as possible...They are the same person as always and we have to remember that..I remember getting calls at 2am and it was just her needing to talk and cry sometimes...One thing i did was not cry in front of my friend, everyone cried and it was hard for me and believe me as soon as we were off the phone i cried like a baby, but one thing she always says is thank you for being my strength you are the only one who did not fall apart and make me feel as if i had to be strong for you.....Just be strong for her....
As i was reading through the forum I see all the Cancer Survivors and I just want to give you all a hug and many blessings for fighting and surviving it...
miasuzzette if you ever feel like you need to vent...remember we are here for you!!!
I am so sorry - I know you both are devastated and scared.
My mother is a 24 year survivor - diagnosed in 1984 and had a modified radical mastectomy. Diagnosed again in 2002 and had mastectomy, chemo and radiation.
Every person diagnosed is different and I think each person needs several different kinds of support - someone to cry with, someone to be strong with, someone to pray with and someone to be normal with.
Be there for her, stay strong for her and most of all, help her stay as normal as possible and do normal things. Let her cry and don't be afraid to talk about the elephant in the room (cancer). There are so many treatments now and depending on how quickly they've caught, treatment may not be too bad.
Keeping you and your sister in my prayers. Feel free to pm me anytime if you want to talk.